Little Johnny comes home from school and his mother says "What did you do
today?"

To which Johnny says "oh the usual, I had a math test, I got an A in
spelling and I had sex with my English teacher."

The mother, aghast, doesn't know what to say she stems and stammers and
finally angrily she says "go in and tell your father what you just told me!"

Little Johnny goes into see his father and says "gee mom sure is mad."

The father says "why?"

"I just told her what I did in school today.  I had a math test, I got an A
in spelling and I had sex with my English teacher."

Well the father is beside himself with joy.  He give his son a nudge and a
wink and says "congratulations--you passed a milestone.  I tell you
what--let's go out and celebrate.  We'll have some ice cream and then I'll
buy you a new bike."

To which Little Johnny says, "the ice cream sounds great, but can we hold
off on the bike a few days - my ass is killing me."