Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Halloween Party
              (From The Late Show with David Letterman)
    
10. Jack-o-lantern looks suspiciously like the neighborhood mailman's head.
    
 9. A guy from Domino's delivers a pizza, and wins Best Costume.
    
 8. Shirtless Ed Asner walking around as "The Wolfman".
    
 7. You see the guy dressed as President Clinton coming out of the bedroom
    with your wife.
    
 6. They're serving haunted pancakes.
    
 5. So-called ghost is just the old guy from the 1-800-collect commercials.
    
 4. You say "nice crazy dwarf costume" to a guy and he says, "I'm Ross
    Perot, you bastard!"
    
 3. It's your first Halloween party in prison, and you're the door prize.
    
 2. A woman dressed as Lorena Bobbitt mistakes you for a guy dressed as
    John Bobbitt.
    
 1. Hey Chester, those ain't candy corn!