A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FARMER
 
 5:00 A.M.  Wake up
 5:30       Check on hired man
 6:00       Breakfast at local cafe
 7:00       Trip to Big R
 7:45       Check lottery numbers
 8:00       Drop wife off at real job
 8:15       Drive slow down middle of gravel road and check corn and beans
 8:30       Stop by elevator and watch corn slide into grate
 8:45       Drive tractor down middle of main street blocking both lanes
 9:00       Back to cafe for snack
 9:30       Check mail for latest government checks
 10:00      Farm Report, radio
 10:15      Banking
 10:20      Hit on bank teller at Drive Thru
 10:30      Stop at Post Office to bitch at Postal employees about late
            Government check
 11:00      Update on Farm Report on radio
 11:15      Check with MD about irregular pulse
 11:30      Start thinking about lunch
 11:31      Stop at farm supply to price fertilizer.  Gripe about prices.
            Drink free coffee.  Gripe because it's not a fresh pot.  Also,
            gripe about my monthly statement even though I haven't opened
            it yet.  Flirt with office girls.
 11:45      Stop at implement dealer to check out new fall colors of hats
            and jackets
 12:00      Lunch
 12:45      BS session
 1:00       Stop by home for Rolaids and bathroom
 1:15       Begin painting shed
 1:20       End painting shed
 1:30       Jeopardy
 2:00       Regis and Kathie Lee
 2:30       Days of Our Lives
 2:34       Nap
 3:00       Cartoons
 3:15       Afternoon Farm Report.  Check out Weather Girl
 3:20       Stop by and look at new Dodge Ram Pickup trucks
 3:30       Final market check from Jim
 3:45       Call commodities broker
 4:00       Gas pickup and socialize.  Be sure not to get there until 4
            minutes before they close.
 4:30       See CPA about latest income tax deductions
 5:00       Pick up wife at work
 5:15       Watch wife cook dinner
 5:30       Dinner
 5:45       Visit with wife while she washes dishes and picks up after me
            and sorts laundry.
 
                 6:00 P.M. - REST AFTER A VERY BUSY DAY