ENERGIZER BUNNY FOUND DEAD

        The world was stunned by the news, today, of the death of the
ENERGIZER BUNNY.  He was six years old.  Authorities believe that the
death occured at approximately 8:42 pm last evening.

        Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and
going, and going.  "Pinkie" as he was know to his friends and relatives,
was alone at the time of his death.

        An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning.  Chief
Medical Examiner, DURA CELL, Concluded that the cause of death was acute
cardiac arrest induced by sexual over stimulation.  Apparently, someone
had put Mr. Bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming and coming
and coming and coming............................