CONDOM HUMOR There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom. She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said "What brand of condoms do you prefer ma'am." She said "I'm not sure, they're for my Camels.", at which point he fainted. ------------------------------------------------------ A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out. The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him. Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns. "So did you follow him?" "I did." "And...where did he go?" "Over to your house." ------------------------------------------------------ A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please". With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, "99 Condoms!?! Fuck me!" To which the guy replies, "Make it 100". ------------------------------------------------------ What do you do with 365 used rubbers? Make a tire and call it a good year. What's the difference between 365 condoms and a tire... A tire might be a goodyear, but 365 condoms is a GREAT year! :) --------------------------------------------------------- Why do cowboys use denim condoms? Because they shrink to fit. --------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the new reusable rubbers? You turn them inside out and shake the fuck out of 'em. --------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the new West Virginian rubbers? They're open-ended for more sensitivity.. --------------------------------------------------------- How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper. --------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb. --------------------------------------------------------- Written on a condom vending machine: These chewing gums don't taste too good!!! Written on another one of the condom vending machines: For refund, insert baby. --------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call grit in a condom? An organ grinder! --------------------------------------------------------- Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it got pissed off. --------------------------------------------------------- I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet which had a "Tested to British Safety Standards" sign on it. Underneath someone had scrawled... So was the Titanic!!! ------------------------------------------------------- What does Kodak and a condom have in common? You use both to catch those special moments!!! --------------------------------------------------------- When is the best time to wear a condom? On every conceivable occasion!