A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door 
and said, "Do you see that couple?  How devoted they are?  He kisses her 
every time they meet.  Why don't you do that?"

"I would love to," replied the husband, "but I don't know her well enough."

-----

The wife phoned her husband in the office and said, "Darling, come home
early, we are going to have mother for dinner."

"Good," replied the husband, "make sure she's well done."

-----

The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a
ring?"

"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"

-----

If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker.  If he is bald at the back,
he is sexy.  If he is bald from front to back - he thinks he is sexy.

-----

"I have a bad headache.  I'll visit the doctor."

"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my
wife and the pain disappeared.  Why don't you try it?"

"Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."

-----

A visitor in a town asked a passerby: "Do you have a criminal lawyer in
town?"

The old man replied, "Well, we think so, but we can't prove it."