A guy walks in to a bar and sees a huge glass jar full of money sitting on 
the counter.  He walks over to it and gets ready to take it when the 
bartender says "Don't touch that money".

"Why?", asks the man.

The bartender says: "I'll make a deal with you, if you can perform 3 tasks, 
I'll give you this whole jar of money".

The man says: "What are the 3 tasks?".

Bartender: "Okay, 1st, see that big guy down at the end of the bar?"

"Yeah"

Bartender: "Well, you gotta beat the living crap out of that guy!"

The mans eyes widened and he said: "I don't know, whats number 2?"

Bartender: "You know that vicious rotweiler out back?"

"Yeah"

Bartender: "Well, its got a loose tooth, you gotta yank it out!"

Again, the mans eyes widened and he asks, "Whats number 3?"

Bartender: "See that 100 year old lady down at the other end of the bar?"

"Yeah"

Bartender: "You gotta give her the best sex shes ever had!"

The guy looked sick to his stomach. He said: "Gimme 3 shots of Vodka", he
takes them and then 3 more.  After he was done, he went down and beat the
crap out of the big guy at the end of the bar.  He sits back down and says:
"That wasn't so hard, gimme 5 shots of Vodka!", he takes them and then 5
more!  "I'm going after that dog!", he says.  He goes out back and the dog
began yelping and screaming in pain.  He came back in the door and says:

"Alright, now where's the old lady with the loose tooth!"