Author: Sam

Story: Halloween in Hazzard: 4 of 10

Series: n/a

Characters added: none

Note: This story is based on events that happened to me in Navy Bootcamp.

Second Note: Forgive any incorrect terminology. I was in the Navy when this occurred, never having served the Marines like Luke had. Thus, my terms are most likely to end up Navy, if I don’t know the alternate term used by our brave Marines. Please forgive the misuse.

Feedback: Yes, please? Especially constructive. samwise_baggins@yahoo.co.uk

Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/samwise_baggins/index.html

With a grimace, Luke pushed a hand through his dark hair and gave a resentful glare at Cooter. "Why don't we let someone else go; I think enough Duke's have hogged the limelight. Why don't we let Miss Lulu go?"

Lulu giggled behind one chubby hand, smiling coyly at Luke. She adored the Duke boys because they were always so polite, going so far as to flatter and flirt with her. It wasn't certain which boy was her favorite, but as the woman didn't have any children in Hazzard County, it was sometimes thought that she treated Bo and Luke Duke like sons of a sort. Of course, Boss would have had a double heart attack if he had figured that little tidbit out. Her voice was over loud as she responded, “Oh, I haven’t had anything scary happen to me. You go ahead and take your turn, Luke.”

Luke sighed and looked thoughtful a long time, then, with a shake of his head, he shrugged. “I can’t think of another story that happened to me in Hazzard County.” He reached to spin the cork, but too many protests held him back.

Jesse’s voice rose above the rest, stern in his admonishment. “Now, Luke, you know you gotta play by the rules. We need another story, and I knowd of at least one you ain’t told yet.”

“That one didn’t happen in Hazzard, Uncle Jesse.” The stocky brunet apparently didn’t want to give the locals yet another story about ‘hainted ole Luke Duke’; as it was, with Bo’s and Daisy’s stories, he was looking like a ghost magnet already.

“Well,” Enos’s voice was helpful, though if he’d’ve caught Luke’s glare, he might have rethought the entire helpful bit, “the rules don’t say it’s gotta be in Hazzard. They just say it’s gotta be something that happened to yerself.” His smile beamed out enthusiastically. “So, that means you can tell yer story.”

“Gee, thanks, Enos.” Sarcasm ran heavy in Luke’s voice, but his long time friend apparently missed it totally. Knowing he couldn’t come up with another excuse without the wrath of somebody coming down on him, the twenty-something year old man finally gave in. “Okay, but y’all won’t know the people I’m talking about.” He took their nonchalant shrugs in step and continued.

“It happened on Parris Island while I was in Basics.”

Luke could see that got the immediate attention of every person in the Boar’s Nest. He’d often slip out a comment or two about when he’d been a Marine, but he never actually sat there and talked about it. Resigned, knowing that there was no way they’d let him off the hook now, Luke Duke waded on through a night he didn’t particularly want to remember. He got a bit of his own back by falling into the language of the military without explaining what any of the unfamiliar words were. Let them figure things out if they could, which Luke highly doubted most of them could.

“It was after Taps and I was on Mid-shifts for the first time.” Confusion was evident, so Luke relented by clarifying, “I was doing my security rounds ‘round eleven that night, bunk down time, and everythin’ was fine. All the doors to the barracks recruits lived in had the ‘propriate areas checked off to say their own sentries had things under control, so it was the empty barracks rooms I had to concern myself with. I went to the first one and heard noises.”

“Was it a hound agrowlin’?” Cooter broke in with a laugh, causing more chuckles around the table.

Luke gave Cooter a disgusted look then sighed. Shifting in his chair, inadvertently drawing attention again to his devil costume and gold fiddle, Luke shook his head. “No. No one was supposed to be there, but there was this whisperin’ just beyond the door. I was armed with a light and radio and logbook. So, I hefted the flashlight and opened the door prepared to confront an intruder, and the whisperin’ stopped instantly. I shone the light around that there room, but it looked normal. Two rows of bunk-beds, twenty on a side, and a center-line... uh... area in the middle of the room, straight from door to office, that had two long picnic tables with a couple a gun racks... floor units that had a good eighty twelve-pound rifles stored there, either side.”

Someone whistled low, impressed with the amount of firepower just ready for use in the barracks. Luke ignored him.

“The office windows was dark, and the door were open. No one in there, or under beds or tables, neither. The lounge door was open, the windows dark, and the room empty. That left the bathroom an’ laundry area. I had been checkin' out the place, keepin' my back to a wall so I couldn't be jumped, as I moved around. But always, I had one eye out on that bathroom, just in case.

I finally went over to the bathroom and heard whisperin' inside. Well, I figured I got whoever was runnin’ ‘round where he weren’t s’pose to be, so, I opened the door. The whisperin’ stopped. No sound of movement nowhere, and them voices just plain shut up. I flipped on the lights. Five toilet stalls, all without doors, and an open area leadin’ to ten sinks, plus another doorway beyond... no doors in there. Also no people. I walked into the sink area, and looked into the open bay shower area. Two shower units hangin’ from the ceilin’ with four nozzles each. No one in there... that left the open doorway leadin’ to the laundry area. So, I walked over and shone my light over the twenty washers and twenty dryers and four foldin’ tables. Empty. Okay, I been hearin’ things, I figure, so I left, clickin’ off the light, thinkin’ I'd heard voices cause I wanted to catch someone... prove I was a good sentry or somethin’.”

Luke gave a nonchalant shrug, sipped his mug, and noticed that Roscoe was almost empty. Good, if he could last a bit longer, the Sheriff would be buying the next round.

“I get to the next barracks and opened the door and heard squeakin’. Sounded like someone... uh… “ Suddenly, Luke changed tact, rethinking the words he had been going to use. After all, Uncle Jesse would kill him for spouting bawdy tales in front of Daisy and Miss Lulu. “jumpin’ on the bunk. Now, that squeakin’ noise can’t be mistook, so I figure I got someone now, and I shone my flashlight over the room. There was the end bunk bouncin' up and down all right... but no one in it or under it! Just bouncin' non-stop in front of me. I must have watched it a full minute, and it didn't stop, and there was no one there.”

A gasp came from Lulu, and Luke glanced over, stopping for a moment, looking for a sign that he should just say that was the end of the story. But she seemed to be okay, excited even, so he went on.

“I quickly flipped on the light, and everythin’ went still. I was confused now, and a bit nervous, considerin’ whispers that weren’t there and bouncin' beds that had nobody in them could probably get me kicked outta boot right there, and so I merely decided that I wouldn’t report it, ‘cause with nothin’ there, there was nothin’ to report... unless it kept goin’ on. So I kicked open the bathroom door, flipped on the light, gave a look, and flicked it off. Then I backed over to the main fire door and flipped the light off, ready to leave. That danged squeakin’ started in again! I flicked on the flashlight, and sure enough that same bunk was bouncin’ again. Since there still weren’t no one there, I just high tailed it out of there, and started wonderin’ if... maybe... I had really heard voices in the other barracks after all.

“At the third, I opened the door, wary, but heard and saw nothin’ odd... until I realized that was the oddest yet! All the bunks, tables, and gun racks was pushed out of the way against the far side of the room, and against the walls. As if they'd been in the way of somethin’. In the center of the room, in two circles, as if set up for a town meetin’, was every chair from the lounge... in two large circles. I didn't even bother with the bathroom. I called out, ‘Okay, have your meetin’.’ And left, backin' out.

“I was shook up, feelin’ all gooseflesh, and didn't know what I'd find in the fourth... but thankfully, that barracks weren’t disturbed in the least bit. I went to my own barracks, number Five, and knocked, rather than readin’ the list. A boy from Florida opened the door and I asked if he'd ever stood Mid-shifts outside. He nodded and said he hated it, it was eerie. I nodded, and said ‘Real eerie. In number Three are the bunks supposed to be pushed against the wall?’ He just shut the door.” Luke sighed and shook his head.

“So, I went back to the Officer on Sentry Desk to report in. He grinned like a fox in a hen house and asked, ‘Everythin’ okay?’ The...” Luke left out just what he thought of his Officer, “...knew the place was haunted! So, cool as anythin’, I said, ‘Nothin’ out of the normal.’ and smiled at him. He frowned, but let that go. Next hour, I'm off to do rounds again. One, whisperin’ until I open doors, check. Two, bouncin’ bunk, check. Three... I was nervous, not wantin’ to interrupt that there meetin’, but knowin’ my duty. So, I opened the door. All the bunks, tables, chairs, and gun-racks were as they shoulda been... I mean, the way a normal barracks looked. There was no sign of the circled chairs, just everythin’ lined up neat as a pin. I checked it off, and didn't even bother with the bathroom. Four: all's calm and fine. I feel relief and check it off.”

Bo had stopped grinning by then and was leaning forward in his chair, staring at his cousin intently. Just like most everyone else, he hadn’t heard Luke talk at any length about his stint in the Marines, so this was as new to him as anyone. In fact, Jesse seemed to be the only one not surprised, like Luke’d told him everything already, which was probably right. People always tended to tell Uncle Jesse things.

Not looking directly at anyone, Luke continued his eerie tale. “Next hour: Whisperin’, check. Bouncin’, check. In Three, the meetin’ was back on. I left and didn't even bother to check Four. I just marked it as fine... heck, it had been so far. Fourth and final hour, thank God! I walked up to One, put my ear to the door. Heard the whisperin’, checked off the room without openin’ it. Walked over to Two, listened. No bouncin’. Didn't care to verify, so checked it off without openin’ the door. Walked right past Three, checkin’ it off. Went past Four, checkin’ off the empty barracks without stoppin’ and headed over to number Five. Knockin’ on my barracks, again, Florida answers, frownin’, and I say ‘I'm never doin’ Mid-shifts out here again." He just nodded and shut the door, and I went back to the office. I handed the report book over to the Officer without a word ‘bout the hauntin’, an’ he looked disappointed, and I went over to my relief. I pulled him aside, I think he was either from California or Kentucky. Whoever it was, he was from my barracks, too. So, I says, ‘Number One has whisperin’ you'll never find. Two has some ghost jumpin’ on the bed but you won't see no one. And Four is fine, nothin’ goin’ on. But Three is enough to scare the tar outta ya’. There's a damned meetin’ in there, and I wouldn't even bother opening the door if I was you!’ Well, he was confused. He says ‘Nobody's s’posed to be meetin’ in Three.’ I just nod and say, ‘Exactly, but you won't see ‘em... trust me.’ He thought I was crazier than a loon... until he come up to me at eight the next mornin’, Sunday, and was shakin’ like a leaf in a wind storm... just got off his watch. ‘You're right,’ says he, then he walked away.”

By then Boss Hogg had joined the group, frowning severely at Luke, and any other Duke what got in range. “A bit of noise and you’re turnin’ tail?” He snorted his disapproval, but looked like he’d expected somethin’ so cowardly from a Duke.

Bo got riled at that and stood to give him what for, but Luke shot out a hand and stopped his cousin. “Now, Boss, you ain’t let me finish the story. It gets even worse than that. But, ‘course, if’n you want a turn, I’d be happy to oblige ya’.”

It was clear that Boss didn’t want to join in telling ghost stories, especially true ones, so he just frowned and shook his head. Luke nodded, turning to the rest of the crowd. “Now, if’n y’all want, I can tell ya more, but we maybe should give someone else a shot.” He reached hopefully for the cork compass, but a loud protest rose from the group and this time Bo’s hand was the one stopping a Duke from doing something.