This fic is in response to my own challenge. Just so you know. It might help to take a looksee at it. I'm stealing ideas from Steve again...sorry Steve...If you got anything to say to me then you can just e-mail me and I promise I will save your e-mail and put it in a shrine to humor. XD

Love,
Siara

P.S. By the way this fic is MINE. MINE I TELL YOU!!! No copying! I got the date and everything 1/28/02 Even the challenge is mine!!

Beyonke Nowles was getting dressed so she could film for Destiny's Kid's music video. So was Kelly. But Michele was nowhere to be seen. In fact, she had gotten ready hours ago and was now in the "janitor's closet" (It was really much too big to be a normal closet) with a certain Trunks Briefs..

Michele: Hello Trunks, I've been waiting for you.

Trunks: Oh really? I don't think you have any idea what you're getting into.

::dun dun duh::

Michele: I think I have an idea . . .

::dun dun duh::

Trunks: Well I have a plan...

::dun dun duh::

Michele: So?

::dun dun duh::

Trunks: *pours a concoction of sleeping pills mixed with tequilla and blue cheese with chocolate truffles on the side (plus the secret ingredient: mashed potatoes and vinegar) down Michele's throat*

::dun dun duh::

Michele: What the hell was that?

::dun dun duh::

Trunks: Ah ha ha ha ha ha!! Now you will keel over and I will finally fulfill my dream to star in the music video, "Bootylicious!"

::dun dun dun duhhh::

Michele: Well that sucks for me now doesn't it?

::dun dun dun duh::

Trunks: Yep

::dun dun dun duh::

Michele: Darn.

::dun dun dun duh::

Trunks: *eyes her warily, twiddling his thumbs waiting for her to keel over*

::dun dun dun duh::

Michele: *yawns*

[And then the scene changes, accompanied by crappy flute music...where have we heard that before?]

Roshi was sitting on the floor of his house, banging on a ball. Not just any ball. His sister's magical crystal ball.

"Work you stupid object! Work!" he yelled, trying to get it to show him the all sex channel again. (His television was broken)

Zzzzbzz

Suddenly, the big transparent ball flickered to life and Roshi could see some feet. Slowly, the camera goes up, past the shapely calves, past the knees, going up up up the apparently naked leg.

Roshi-with-nosebleed: Gah....

It goes even farther up, showing naked you-know-what, past her hips, up her stomach, pauses on her breasts, then goes farther and farther up to her neck.

Roshi-with-nosebleed: Gah....

The magic ball is about to show her face and Roshi leans closer and closer, drooling.

"ROSHI!!!" Baba's wrinkled face yells at him from the crystal ball, "What the hell are you doing with my prized ball?!"

"AHHHHH!!!!" Roshi screams like a little girl. He whirls around and stumbles maniacly around the room, clawing at his eyes, "My eyes! My eyes! I've been scarred for life! Traumatized!"

"Oh shut up Roshi . . . Hey watch out!" Baba's eyes widen with fear as Roshi with his eyes covered plows into the floating ball, spilling a glass of beer on it as he does so.

Crrrrrkkkkkzzzzzzbuzzzzz!!

The crystal ball crackles and pops. It also snaps. Then it turns black with flickers of red. Slowly, it starts glowing and floating. Like a weird ghost afterimage, Baba's face slowly appears on the screen. But her eyes...her eyes are glowing! Like a zombie, she starts chanting, a hackneyed grin on her face.

"I'm hungry. Hungry! I was hungry once. They put me in a hole. There were kids there. I hate kids. They make me hungry. Hungry! I was hungry once. They put me in a hole. There were kids there. I hate kids. They make me hungry. Hungry! I was hungry once. They put me in a hole. There were kids there. I hate kids. They make me hungry. Hungry! I was hungry once. They put me in a hole. There were kids there. I hate kids. They make me hungry. Hungry! I was hungry once. They put me in a hole. There were kids there. I hate kids. They make me hungry. Hungry!"

Somewhere in the distance, a dragon searched for his non-polyester corset with the pink lace and bows, but that has nothing to do with the story.

[And then the scene changes, accompanied by crappy flute music]

Kami was lying in bed, staring and counting the cracks on the ceiling. It wasn't his ceiling. It was . . . well it *was* his ceiling. He just liked to pretend he had a better...uncracked ceiling . . . somewhere. He got tired of counting and focused on the small white blob on his ceiling. He wasn't quite sure what it was, what it was doing there, nor what its purpose in life was, but whatever it was, he planned to stare at it for a good long while. Seeing as how that could possibly do some good to the blob. Assuming it was alive. After all, it had begun vibrating. Kami felt something like a tickle on his brain.

"Jeepers," Kami said, "I'd like a margarita."

With that, he heard a resounding PLOP. The blob had decided it would much rather puzzle out the meaning of its existence on Kami's face. Or more accurately, all over his eyes.

"Gack!" Kami cried, clawing at the immovable blob, blindly waving his arm about (note: only one arm, the other was attached to the hand clawing at the blob). He fell out of bed and scrambled into the kitchen with the vague intent of getting something to cut the blob off. He slammed painfully into the counter.

"Oh man..." he groaned, "I think I better get some anasthetic before I attempt anything with sharp objects." That decided, he began mixing a margarita -- without looking. Unfortunately, he mistook a mug of boiling water (Mr. Popo had stepped out for a minute from making tea) for alcohol. He mixed this with what he thought to be [insert whatever the heck people put in margaritas besides the alcohol] and accidentally grabbed the sugar dispenser. Pouring the lot into the boiling water, which speedily dissolved the concoction, Kami stuck a finger in so he could get a taste of his drink.

"AAAAH!!" he screamed fom the scalding water. He decided to wait a few minutes before drinking, apparantly not in the least disturbed by his "margarita" being several degrees hotter than it should have been. Blame the weird mind-controlling blob on his face.

[Scene change, accompanied by crappy flute music]

Michele was snoring now. It wasn't because of the concoction though. Trunks gave up waiting for her to keel over and just started telling her about nuclear physics and she fell right asleep. He knew about nuclear physics because a tape with his voice recorded lecturing about physics had dropped out of the sky, through the plot hole in the roof, and landed on them in the janitor's closet. Perhaps it had something to do with the mind controlling blob. We may never know.

"It's a conspiracy!" someone said to someone else, somewhere. But that has nothing to do with the story.

Quickly, Trunks donned Michele's outfit and a wig, and came out of the closet.

Ahem.

He. Came. Out. Of. The. Clos---

You know what I mean.

Little did he realize that Goten had also switched clothes with one of the girls in the singing group. He hadn't done it for the fame, but for his dream. Which was to work with such great celebrities as Michele. Who was in the closet. Trunks didn't know this as he strolled towards the set. [I don't mean to say he didn't know Michele was in the closet. He knew where the closet was and he knew she was in it. What he didn't know was that Goten was dressed up as Kelly and not that Michele was in the closet because I did not mean that. *does a Mojojojo impression* ^^;;]

He still didn't know it as he approached the girls from far away.

Still in the state of not knowing, he sat down nonchalantly with the two of them.

While in complete not-knowing-ness, he began to casually chat with them, absolutely unaware of his not-knowing, not-being-included-in-the-crowd-of-knowers--- You get the idea.

At this exact moment, some crazy person named Siara winked, but that has nothing to do with the story. Then she was beaned in the head with a bean. A giant bean. From a giant beanstalk. Rumor has it, Jack did it. He did it with the Beanstalk.

[Scene change, accompanied by crappy flute music]

Baba hummed as she stood, stirring a gigantic cauldron. It was so big it was actually a vat. A vat full of milk. She had built a fire under it and was heating up the white liquid.

"This will make them very tasty and ... teeeennnnnder," she murmured happily as she stirred. Her eyes glowed disturbingly and she licked her lips. "I hate kids," she said, then her voice changed to really deep and demonic, "They make me huuuunnngry... Plump . . juicy . . . little . . . childrennn."

//Ah, there's nothing like milk and kiddies,// she thought, //You just dip'em in warm milk before you go to sleep, and they're delicious// Her eyes glowed wildly. When the milk was hot enough, she'd go catch a nice morsel.

::dun dun duhh::

[Scene change, accompanied by crappy flute music]

Kami drank down the margarita in one gulp. There was so much sugar in it, his poor Namekian system couldn't handle it. The shock of the sugar rush actually made his skin vibrate. The blob fell off abruptly. Kami opened his eyes and squealed.

"Eeeeeeee!" He eeed, running around the kitchen table waving his arms above his head. Then he ran right through the wall and into what else but -- a closet. It was a tool closet, and he found a thick new roll of duct tape in it. His eyes went big like anime eyes. Then again, his eyes were already anime eyes, so maybe the change wasn't so great. He picked it up reverently, rubbing his cheek against the smooth gray, and hesitantly peeled out a strip. Tearing it neatly, he stuck the strip on the wall. Dear God it felt wonderful. He began sticking things faster and faster, running out of the closet to stick strips on the pots, the pans, the table, even the unmoving blob on the kitchen floor.

"YA HA HA HA HA!" he yelled gleefully, gathering up his robes like a prissy priest and running out the door in the the garden. He duct taped the floor, Mr. Popo's plants, and some bees who were innocently poking around a plant's sexual organs. Then he ran off to tape Mr. Popo.

[Scene change, accompanied by crappy flute music]

Piccolo and Yamcha were sitting around playing chess.

"Your move," Piccolo said, sitting back finally after making his satisfactory move. Yamcha leaned forward and took his chin in his hands, puzzling out his strategy.

After a really long time, Piccolo said, "For Kami's sake! Make a move. It's not like that time we were fighting the Ginyu force." "The Ginyu force?" Yamcha began, then a light bulb lit over his head, "Oh! How was that? What did they all look like?"

"Well," Piccolo thought, "There was this red haired guy called Recoom, and this blue guy, and a purple guy, and a green guy, and . . . oh yeah there was that white haired guy called Jeice.."

"Oh Jeice," Yamcha giggled, "I always thought he was cute. I never told him though."

Piccolo turned blue. "WHAT?! I thought you never saw the Ginyu force before!!"

Yamcha looked offended and retaliated by saying, "Yeah? Well YOU never saw them either! By the time YOU got to Namek they were dead!"

The both of them said, "Then how the hell do we know this stuff?"

The world may never know.

Far away, "Could you pull these laces a little tighter?" a dragon asked politely. But that has nothing to do with the story.

[Scene change, accompanied by crappy flute music] Baba the Witch stared deep into her crystal ball.

"Crystal ball! Show me someone who will give me some kids!" she commanded.

The ball showed her a bunch of gigolos.

"No!! Someone who can get me a kid that's not my kid and isn't --" she gave up and settled for smacking the ball. "You know what I mean."

Surprisingly enough, it did.

Cell's face popped up in the ball.

"Cell? What are you doing in my ball?"

Cell stared at her and blinked. "I must be dreaming," he muttered.

"Um. No you're not. I accidentally summoned you when I wanted to eat children."

Cell got a shocked and terrified look on his face. "You wanna eat me?"

She rolled her eyes. "I want to eat children!" Her eyes glowed.

Cell thought about this for a moment. "Why?"

She got a little flustered. "Be-because!" Narrowing her eyes, she said, "Now will you help me or not?"

"Um, sure. Get me outta Hell..and I will get you some grub."

"Okay," she concentrated. "Count to ten, Cell. Then a beam of light will appear nearby. You must go into the light. Go into the light."

"Where've I heard this before," Cell muttered to himself before shrugging and counting to ten. Just then, Jeice ran up.

"Yo! Cell! The HFIL bingo tournament's about to start! C'mon," he jumped up and down excitedly.

"No."

"C'mon!"

"No."

"C'mon!!"

"No, Jeice! I'd love to come but I gotta count to ten."

Jeice stared at him.

"Sooo...." Cell said slowly, "I need a little help here..."

"Oh!" Jeice said.

"Now what comes after two?"

Right then, a beam of light appeared around Jeice.

"Whoooaa... Dude! I'm in a light!"

Cell gets really panicked and tries to shove Jeice out so he can get in the light.

"Get outta the light! Get outta the light!" he yells desperately at the clueless Jeice who still isn't budging out of the light.

"Why?" Jeice asked, "I'm not, like, a vampire or anything."

"Get outta the light!!!!"

PLOCK

Jeice, and the light, disappeared.

Cell sat there in the dark and sniffled. The he went off to play bingo.

[bad cliffhanger, accompanied by crappy guitar music]

Sooo....Whaja think? Email me!! sabrinaamy@hotmail.com C'mon, You know you wanna. ~_^

Stay tuned for the equally insane sequel!