Siara's Note:

Oh dear, I've written a humor fic. Please be kind. ^_^ Read, Enjoy, and review? Pwease?

Love,
Siara

P.S. I'm sorry Zab, this ficcy was in no way intended to parody you. I only wanted to use the term... ^^;;

Bra Briefs had been chosen to go take classes at a very prestigious modeling agency. And she was late. Tiptoeing to the door of the classroom, she opened it just a crack.

"COME IN!" The teacher screeched.

"H-how did you know I was there?" Bra asked, shaken.

The teacher glared at Bra, her double-chins quivering. "LISTEN GIRL, I KNOW EVERYTHING! I KNOW WHERE YOU WERE FIVE YEARS AGO!"

"Oh?" Bra asked, raising an eyebrow, and trying to sit down in a chair without drawing too much attention to herself, but that was rather difficult with the instructor yelling at her.

"Oh yes!" The teacher laughed dementedly, "You were in college, but then you DROPPED OUT!! AHAHAHA!!"

"Uh huh," said Bra, who was in her second year of highschool (she was 15). Thankfully, the crazy lady forgot about her then and returned her attention to the skeletal looking anorexic girl she had called up.

"SHANIQUA!" she yelled at the girl, even though she was standing quite close.

Shaniqua whimpered.

"TELL US AGAIN," she demanded, "WHAT DID YOUR BOYFRIEND DO?!"

Shaniqua sobbed, "He-he he gave me..." She trailed off, histerically.

"HE GAVE YOU CHOCOLATES ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, DIDN'T HE?!"

Shaniqua blubbered and nodded.

The teacher began beating Shaniqua on the head with a notebook, causing a good deal of hair to fall to the floor. "AND YOU ATE ONE, DIDN'T YOU!"

The girl sobbed and tried to sheild herself, makeup running down her face. Bra jumped up and leaped to the girl's defense, snatching th notebook out of the teacher's hands. No matter how much her mother was paying the institue, she didn't care anymore. She was, however surpirsed when Shaniqua turned angry eyes on her and snatched the notebook back.

"DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE GODDESS!!" Shaniqua screamed, beating herself on the head with the notebook.

There was a long pause as everyone stared at Shaniqua, who was rhythmically bonking herself on the head with the notebook and crying.

"......."

"......."

"....................................................................................."

"**** this," Bra said, and left.

Vegeta was training in the gravity room as usual, when the power was abruptly turned off and he found himself thrown violently at the ceiling because of the lower gravity. He muttered some choice expletives, and opened the door of the grav room to see what imbecile had disturbed his training. He ran into a tall, modelesque-type asian girl dressed like an exotic dancer.

"What are YOU doing here?" he asked charmingly. "Who the heck are you?"

She smiled annoyingly. "I?" she asked mockingly, "Who do you think I am?"

Vegeta glared at her and crossed his arms. "Tell me before I ki-blast you into the next dimension."

"I am your Siara." Seeing no response, she continued. "That means I'm sort of your fairy godmother."

"Why sort of?"

"Because you're older than I am," she replied, "So I'm more like your fairy godsister." She frowned, "Not even. More like a GoddessSister. No, actually, I think..." She tapped her chin. "I think I'm, no wait--I'm not supposed to think anymore...maybe I can think in secret so HIV doesn't know I'm thinking. But aren't people not supposed to know WHAT I'm thinking rather than whether I'm thinking at all? Hmm, that's not right..."

"What are you mumbling, woman!?"

"Nevermind!" she said brightly, "The point is, life in your universe is about to change, and I'm here to make sure you get a starring role. I'm your agent too." Then, with a puff of smoke, she turned into a pumpkin.

Well, perhaps she didn't turn into a pumpkin. Perhaps she had disappeared and left the pumpkin as a parting gift. Whatever it's origins, the pumpkin was carried by Vegeta into the kitchen and shoved into the back of the fridge.

Bra and her mother came home soon afterwards, tired and disgruntled. Bra went up to her room to listen to her angry girl music: Boys Eleven Men, the Fudgies, Nice Is Neat, Skittles, and The Limping Pastry. Bulma went to the kitchen to cook. After, the Son family would be coming for dinner.

Vegeta didn't even get a chance to tell her about the odd incident with the fairy goddessssister. It wasn't until the Sons had arrived, and everyone had gathered round the table for the food that any real conversation began. But by then, Vegeta was too busy trying to beat Goku at eating that he forgot all about FAGS (Fairy, Agent, Goddess, Sister).

Around dessert, he finally remembered. Mostly due to the fact that everyone was chowing down on pumpkin pie. But by then it was too late... As Vegeta watched in mute horror, each face at the table flickered like a bad television reception. After several seconds, in which no one else seemed to notice the freakiness, everyone reappeared as if nothing had happened. A low voice sounded in Vegeta's ear.

"Bippity . . . boppity . . . blue? No, no, that's not right either . . . Hocus focus!" He swatted at his ear, but nothing happened, and his hand met innocuous air.

He would have continued investigating this strange voice, except that Chichi squealed.

"Goku! I'm going to tell my father!" She glared at Goku, who had dunked her head in the punch bowl for no apparent reason.

"Go ahead," the saiyan said, "And the name is Hank!" He dunked her again. Gohan and Goten managed to pull Goku away from their mother.

"What's the matter with you, dad?" Gohan asked angrily.

Goku shook his head in confusion, "Huh?"

"Why did you try to drown Chichi, Goku?" Bulma asked.

"And why were you calling yourself Hank?" Goten added.

"What?" Goku asked, blankly.

The strange new voice giggled in Vegeta's ear.

King Kai was in the gym, trying to get the treadmill to start. After he had died, he'd decided that he might as well get into better shape, maybe go out with some sassy female catfish or something. The gym personnel, halo bobbing rakishly, came up to help the King. King Kai took one look at the man, who looked like something out of a horror movie, and screamed a girly scream. The Monster was reaching for him! It was coming to get him! The clawed hands came closer, closer . . . and pressed the little red button on the treadmill.

"Aaaah!" Kai screamed again. He turned and ran. Unfortunately, he was running on the treadmill. The employee stood there, puzzled, as King Kai screamed and ran in place.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" King Kai took a breath. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" He took another breath. "Aaaaaaaaah!" He took another breath. "Aaaaaaaaaah!" He took a breath....

[five hours later]

A very sweaty King Kai was running--correction: trudging along on the treadmill, he was hunched and exhausted and his arms hung down. His tongue hung out. With a dry rasp he said, "Aaaaaaaah!" He took several deep breaths. "Aaaaaah!" The gym employee had long since left, but Kai was still too terrified to look behind him. "Aaaaah!"

[five weeks later]

"Okay, relax now," the psychologist said. "Lay back in the chair and tell me what's the matter." He took out a little clipboard and pencil. King Kai lay shivering on the leather psychologist chair, a worn blanket drawn up to his chin, clutching a little teddy bear.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" the little blue guy whispered.

Bruno Willis, the psychologist sighed. "I promise."

"I-" Kai took a deep, shuddering breath, causing his halo to quiver. "I see dead people..."

Meanwhile, The Son family, as well as Bulma, Trunks, and Vegeta desperately awaited/ searched for news of Goku and Bra. The happy-go-lucky Son had abruptly left home after assaulting a woman at the drug store with tubes of Vagisil and kidnapping a mentally disturbed woman named Irene. The only news they had had so far was that Goku had suddenly adopted Kenan and Kel, as well as a third, overweight black kid named "Bob." Bra had merely run away from home to sing on corners for money. She had left a note saying:

Dear Mom and Dad, and whoever the heck else reads this,

No one understands me! No one cares! I hate my life. I'm running away because no one lets me do what I want! And don't any of you judge me!

Love,
Bra

P.S. Trunks, my friend Genny and I are lesbos, so no, she will not go out with you on Saturday night.

The rapist had cornered Bra in an alley, he had the gun aimed at her head, and was beginning to undo his pants.

"Please! Please don't kill me!" she pleaded as he advanced on her. "I've got a family! I've got friends! I've got money!" The rapist began to rip her clothes away. Hit by a sudden inspiration, she yelled. "And-and I've got . . . AIDS!" With that, he shrieked like a girl and began backing away and holding up his hands in surrender and terror.

"I'm sorry! Just go away girlie, please! I've got a wife! I've got a family too!" He squealed, sobbing. "Don't give me your effin' cooties!"

Bra ran out of the alley. A scary looking woman ran into the alley at the same time, dressed in a garish bathrobe with pink curlers in her hair.

"Bill!" the creepy woman screamed at the rapist. "I knew it!"

"Hillary, h-honey," the man whimpered, cowed by his wife, "I can explain..."

The last things Bra heard as she hurried away were:

"I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!"

"YES YOU DID! YOU DID IT FOR THE NOOKIE!"

TBC...maybe ^_~ Maybe I'll add yaoi, maybe not. e-mail me with comments! sabrinaamy@hotmail.com