The Allison family can be traced all the way back to the chivalrous knights of Scotland who battled against the evil barbarians of the north. Conan Allison, better known as "DragonSlayer" was the first .....
Okay, it's obvious I have no clue where my ancestors come from, but I do know that my parents were born and raised in northern West Virginia. They were married in the early seventies after they both graduated from West Virginia University (Dad in Geology and Mom in Nursing). A few years later in 1978 I was born in Charleston, WV. After a year or so we moved to Pennsylvania, and eventually on to Beckley We made it three years before my brother finally showed up and our family was complete. After seven years in Beckly, Dad was transferred to Kentucky, so we packed up and moved to Paintsville (we brought Adam and the pets with us).
In 1993, my parents divorced, but we all remained in Paintsville until two years later my dad had to move back to West Virginia. There he married Melissa, and my family was extended.
Now, in 2000, I'm living in Northern Kentucky going to school, Mom is in Paintsville, Dad is in WV, and Adam is in Pittsburg in college.
My Mom
With children the age of ten and under, there is no person who is more popular than my mom. She makes Barney and the Tele-tubbies seem like nimrods in the eyes of all the students at the elementary where she is the school nurse. When we go to town, it's like I'm with a mega super-star, and hundreds of little kids storm towards us, demanding hugs instead of autographs. But the thing that amazes me is the fact that she knows the names of over 7.8 billion of her little "patients" that she has "seen."
And my brother and I are the luckiest of all because she was our personal nurse for 20 years, and will be until our children come along. She was the mom who made us swords and armor and painted our faces like the pro wrestlers and bandaged us up when we came in with bruises or cuts. She also helped with all the school plays, was the Cub-Scout Den Mother, T-ball team scorekeeper,
athletic boosters club president, did most of my math homework, and when I was mistreated, never failed to chase down one of my jerk basketball coaches in grade school to chew him a new ....
I love my mom. She's the greatest.
My Dad
My dad is a cross between George Carlin and Genghis Kahn. He is one of the funniest people around, but his fuse is about a centemeter short. He taught me everything from how to throw a baseball to the best quote of all time:
"Ryan, when you're out on the road driving, always look out for old people, women, and men in hats."
You've never experienced life until you sit in a restaraunt with my dad, and the waitress is late in getting either 1) to our table to serve us, 2) the food, or 3) the check. If all three happen, my best advice would be to put on a helmet of some sort and try to find a fall-out shelter where you will be protected from falling debris.
My dad was always the Little League baseball coach, and the master of magic tricks. Put a couple coins in front of him and he turns into Sigfried and Roy. Have a guitar or piano anywhere within a mile of him, and guaranteed he will find it and crank out the season's holiday song.
And, my brother....
When Jim Carrey first made it big in Hollywood with his twisted faces, limber body, impersonations, and his talking ass, everyone always asked me why I never laughed or cracked a smile.
"Oh, because," I said, "I live with that everyday of my life."
My brother was scientifically crossed in a lab with Jim Carrey, Jerry Lewis, Robin Williams, and Lawrence Olivier.
He showed up in 1981, and things have not settled down since. How the boy was not put on Ridalin as a child is beyond me. With his hyperactivity and my dad's temper, it's a wonder this planet is still standing But in fact Adam is nothing short of a replica of my Dad. If there is a crowd anywhere in the area, my dad and brother are doing something to entertain.
Here is Adam, normally, if that is possible.
Christmas gatherings with Dad on the piano and Adam making up a song and dance off the top of his head are not to be missed. With 19 years of practice at this, Adam accepted a full scholarship in drama to Point Park College in Pittsburg, PA. Don't be surprised to see him in the movies one day. He's the next Kevin Spacey combined with Roberto Benigni!
I can remember countless times in supermarkets or grocery stores or just on the street where Adam suddenly changed character and became mentally handicapped, developed a limp, and started screaming my name out loud. I had to keep walking like it was normal. Meanwhile all the people around offered sympathetic smiles at me and my retard brother.
Adam here, with fake teeth, and in one of his thousand characters.
I'm currently working on this page to get more pictures of my family on here .. you know, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, dogs ... that kinda stuff.
