Title: Hope Springs
|
|
Captain Kirk had thought he’d vent his anxiety when he arrived at the cabin, but still his mind kept spinning on so many things, as if plotting courses in every direction through space and yet never engaging the warp drive. He felt guilt also. He had Spock back. The Fal-Tor-Pan had been a success, but the year since had been devastating. Spock had had so much to regain and settle, but it appeared as if fate would leave him without solid ground to steady him. Kirk grinned. “I’m not so sure myself, sir.”
That had been a baldly-truthful statement, surely
undiplomatic, a little of his soul on display. But
such seemed to affect Sarek, a man who prized
sincerity above most
things, who was as often undiplomatic in order to succeed, ironically,
with his
diplomatic end. And, oddly, Kirk felt
more secure with Sarek close by, though there was no threat obvious. Perhaps he just missed the father-figure he
had grown used to on Vulcan those last months there. The ambassador
had fought for
him as if he were his own son, and for the rest of the ex-Enterprise’s
‘mutinous’
skeleton crew. Spock as well as McCoy
would have been lost if not for his singular stampede to his They owed him much. Likely he felt he owed them, especially with all that went wrong - the loss of his ship, his son, almost his career but for the bizarre timing and coincidence of the drone on the verge of destroying Earth. But he couldn’t even imagine going back to having lost Spock, no matter almost any cost. Perhaps then it was a debt Kirk felt toward this man who now seemed in need himself. He wanted to help, to console, to better this Vulcan’s existence as he had done for Kirk, but there was something more he couldn’t identify. He found he looked closer at this Vulcan, wanted to see him more clearly, see him as he really was – the essence of him that Amanda had seen. But how? And why should he suddenly be driven to feel so? Questions, among many others, he hoped to answer on this holiday. Sarek bristled and shivered at the influx of cold. “If you call me Sarek, I will at least stay a short while. I have seen little of my son, and your company and the doctor’s would not be unwelcome.” He did not meet Kirk’s eye, a strange, almost vulnerable, avoidance. Kirk was surprised by the admission, but likely Sarek felt the need to verbalize his feeling of welcome, perhaps in gratitude. Kirk almost echoed his missing Spock himself, but stopped himself. The elder Vulcan had more than enough to deal with. The selflessness of that surprised him, as did the depth of his compassion for this Vulcan now that he was upon them. Sarek released the cargo hold door and together they hauled in the many well-stuffed hover-bags, some from well-known, exclusive restaurants, others Sarek explained held the embassy chef’s attempt at many of Kirk’s, Spock’s and McCoy’s favorites of Amanda’s dishes. Kirk bit back the jab of sorrow the reminder brought but thrust away any reaction before Sarek might notice and instead smiled at the prospect of five-star fare and some quality ‘home-cooking’ in such a remote and beautiful backdrop. “That’s a lot of food!” Kirk didn’t hide his appreciation. He noticed that all of it was also stored in stasis travel-boxes – they would stay as fresh and at the same temperature as when they were closed up, and could be left out of the cabin’s only kitchen stasis box, which was already jam-packed with the fresh produce the Vulcans would require and the humans also would enjoy. They would eat like kings! Sarek looked a little self-conscious. “It is the least I can do. I am told that even Ichaya would not consume my culinary attempts.” Kirk couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the mammoth garbage disposal of a pet he’d seen pictures of, and heard so many stories of, turning up his nose at Sarek’s cooking. The often stiff, formal man was beginning to let his guard down and was likely quite out of his realm packed into a small cabin surrounded by chest-high piles of snow and bristling, volatile weather. Even before they were halfway to the house, Kirk noticed Sarek shudder. The weather had been quite mild up until that very day. He only hoped it would return to its earlier temperateness. He brought Sarek to the couch and surprisingly met little argument as Kirk collected the rest of his things from the aircar and secured it. He was more concerned than ever. It was highly unusual that Sarek would allow another to take on what he would consider his own obligations. Kirk brought Sarek the mug of hot tea and settled in on the opposite side in front of the roaring fire. Sarek looked a little dazed and quite tired, Kirk noticed. His face and even his broad shoulders had thinned. His cheekbones were more pronounced so that he looked more like his son. He had heard that a Vulcan’s extra weight tended to increase his muscled chest and shoulders and not the waist fat as in most human males. Spock’s added weight had seemed to evenly divide between the two, as if in compromise between the two halves of his heritage. He also noticed how human Sarek looked in blue jeans, flannel shirt and hiking boots. With the thermal hat still covering his ears and most of his eyebrows, one would have to know he was Vulcan to recognize the differences – the sharper cheekbones, the slight tint of olive in bronzed skin a few shades darker than his son’s, the slightly thinner hips, the more muscled chest, shoulders and arms of the middle-aged Vulcan male that Spock had only recently started developing. Even Sarek’s eyes glinted gold and green, correcting Kirk’s assumption of them being just a lighter shade of Spock’s sable brown. Kirk had always recognized this Vulcan’s rugged handsomeness, but never felt comfortable looking long enough to see him closely. Such just seemed to intimate for such an esteemed man. He remembered further differences underneath the almost human-seeming exterior. What appeared to be little room in the groin area of the jeans for the somewhat larger genitals, and he had heard of somewhat more pronounced and doubled ridges, which made even a partial erection on a Vulcan male all too apparent in their unusually thin pants they commonly wore during the peak of the summers. He had heard that the thin pants in the summer had become a tourist attraction in itself since Vulcans, though more private in their show of emotions and daily affairs, were less modest with, or less self-conscious of, their bodies and mode of dress, especially in the extreme heat of their sweltering summers that the Vulcan people as a race still seemed to be evolving for. Amanda herself
had complained
that it took much self-control not to scope out those interesting parts
on
Vulcan males in the hotter months as they all seemed on display for
anyone’s
perusal and had required her husband to either wear thicker pants or a
longer
tunic after a well-known gossip columnist had commented that ‘from the
look of
Sarek in that certain region it is a
wonder that he and his wife were physically compatible at all’. They were discreet enough not to include a
picture of said region, thankfully. Though Kirk had noticed one quite explicit picture his niece had cut out from People’s ‘Sexiest 100’ of Sarek about ten years back that left very little to the imagination. He had been almost unclothed, for him, on a mission to a planet as hot as Vulcan and walking along the beach, in very thin, tight off-white pants, with Amanda. He appeared quite filled out below with an erection and not seeming too concerned at being seen in such a condition. Perhaps the beach had been deserted or private and the photographer hidden, Kirk surmised, so that Sarek would never have thought there’d be a chance of someone seeing him in that state and so unconcealed. Kirk remembered
feeling annoyed
at how good the elder Vulcan had looked even then, quite a few years
after the
journey to He had wondered why Spock tended to disappear each year around the announcements. Of course, he rarely paid attention to the list and had no idea that one of the Vulcans on it was none other than Spock’s father. He had to wonder if Amanda had ever watched it. He would not have been surprised if she bought every year’s to catch the naughtiest holos of her husband that were available for pubic consumption, at least out of curiosity and amusement, if not a little concern. He smiled at his childish resentment of Sarek’s long-standing attractiveness and the strange turn of his thoughts. He almost laughed at how jealous his niece would be if she discovered where her long-time heartthrob had been for Christmas. At 17 now, she was a force to be reckoned with. He remembered her inquiry about who would be joining him at the cabin and her not-so-subtle inference that she needed to get away from her mother and stepfather. After Kirk’s much
older brother,
Daniel had died too young in a flitter accident and his sister-in-law
had
remarried, he had almost lost touch with them. He
had thought momentarily of inviting his niece but had
been concerned
at the dynamics and somber mood of the group this year.
Then he had heard that Sarek was on his way
to Earth and realized he would make a far more congruous fourth anyway. Now he only had to hope that Jane would not get wind of Sarek being there. But after seeing Sarek again, he was glad of his good timing and prudent decisions. Sarek still looked pretty bad emotionally, and still too good physically. He could not trust his young, exuberant pup of a niece not to cause trouble – at 17 physically, but 13 emotionally, she was trouble anywhere she went. And around Sarek right now, he could not imagine a more explosive combination. “Spock and McCoy went for a walk around the lake,” Kirk explained before Sarek could ask. Sarek looked surprised and somewhat concerned. “They’re bundled up well.” Kirk smiled. “It has become a habit of theirs, these daily walks.” He realized there was a bit of resentment in his tone he couldn’t quite quell. “And the weather seems to have taken a temporary cold turn as of today. Likely it will clear up by tomorrow.” Sarek looked at him several beats longer, as if sizing up Kirk and his tone. “It would seem that my son’s hybrid nature has provided another advantage. I don’t know if I could make it around the lake in this weather.” Kirk had to wonder how much of that had to do with Sarek’s present condition rather than his full Vulcan physiology. “You do look tired.” “Yes,” Sarek said. “But I am not sure that resting will resolve that.” Kirk could only swallow at that. Sarek looked back at Kirk as if he had made some decision. “I think Spock will take some time yet to become the man that he was. He is still seeking his way back.” His eyes held Kirk’s a long moment. “One never forgets important relationships.” Kirks saw the pain in Sarek’s eyes as he realized how applicable that same was for him now. Kirk realized that Sarek had somehow gleaned his biggest fear and was trying to console him. He smiled at the elder Vulcan who had brought him some hope. If only he could find hope for Sarek, too. It was why he had chosen this rental from the long list of faux-rustics available in these coldest months – it was only a quarter mile on a beautiful trail to Hope Hot Springs. He anticipated they would all make the trek to it and sit for a long soak together. He imagined that the weather would have to change for Sarek to even step out onto the porch, however, even with its outdoor fireplace roaring between all of the chaise lounges. They talked comfortably, about many things unimportant, both steering the conversation away from the more turbulent waters of their lives. All of the more interesting and important topics that popped into Kirk’s mind seemed off-limits, until at least he could fathom a way to ease toward them - whether Sarek would remarry, how far away his next pon farr was (he remembered that Vulcans had to endure it sometimes beyond 170 and Sarek was only into his 120’s, just about the equivalent of Kirk’s own age of 53). He wondered about options besides marriage, and curious about Sybok, and Sarek’s prior marriage, which he had never read anything about, as if the media had been leaned on in much the same way as they had as soon as Spock passed his Kahs Wan and literally dropped off the radar. Kirk could only wonder how that was done. Sarek glanced back over his shoulder every now and then, until Kirk decided on the best way to reassure him. “They shouldn’t be long now,” Kirk said. “This will actually be their third trip around the lake in as many days.” “I wasn’t questioning your lack of concern, Captain,” Sarek said. “I would know if my son were in danger by my parental bond.” Kirk felt surprise at that. He had thought they had both subdued that over the 18-year separation. Sarek almost smiled. “A constructive side-effect of my assisting in my son’s Fal-Tor-Pan.” Kirk remembered his own meld with Sarek at his apartment. It had been an eye-opener. Where he had always assumed that Sarek had suppressed his emotions enough not to respond to events instead he found a torrent of unbridled grief, rage, frustration among many other emotions, even relief at the possibility of finding his son’s katra and lust, he imagined for Amanda, were barely kept at bay by Sarek’s ravaged emotional controls. He could only imagine what Sarek had wanted to do to him when he opened the door with drink in hand to what looked like a party not long after Spock’s death, understood fully with some perspective how the atmosphere of drinks and camaraderie, even laughing, he remembered, had looked to the distraught father. He had better
understood Vulcans
with only that vague brush with Sarek’s mind, and realized how
judgmental he
had been. He had always assumed that
most of the emotion he felt from Spock during melds had been due to his
human
half. For all the pompous claims of
superior-feeling
humans touting that Vulcans need not take such drastic measures as to
attempt full
control, he realized that most beings had no concept of what Vulcans
wrestled
with each and every minute of their lives. He
had to imagine that what Sarek felt then and what he
felt now were
not so dissimilar, except that he had nowhere to direct his strong
emotions, but
inside, and no one to help him through it as he had had in Amanda. Sarek still watched him, Kirk realized. “My son does not know that you invited me,” he said sadly. “I should not stay long then.” Kirk frowned as he deduced that Sarek must have realized Kirk’s attempt to surprise Spock and McCoy by his son’s lack of emotion commensurate with soon seeing his father again. “I think he will be pleased, sir.” They seemed to be slipping back into formality again. “Do you?” Sarek asked, his tone sounded almost hopeful yet still concerned. “Or will I only be a constant reminder of what he has lost?” Sarek stared into his tea, thoughtful. “If he is…pleased, I shall stay. If not…my son…we all…have been through too much to add further stress to your…holidays.” Again the tone of irony that Kirk read as a sad reckoning to all the misery they had endured. How could there be celebration? Again, he felt relieved at not inviting Jane, as well as diverting her thoughts from dropping in. Kirk saw Bones
and Spock
approach toward the back porch. They
seemed
to be standing closer than he thought they would be, and talking in
softer
tones than he had ever heard them use with each other.
He had to wonder if as their minds brushed up
against each other when they were both housed in McCoy that they had
both
mellowed each other with new understanding as stones smooth each other
in a
stream. He was glad objectively. But subjectively, he still felt more separate
of them than he ever had, and missed that closeness terribly. They stepped in and both looked surprised as Sarek turned. McCoy grinned widely. “Well, well, Dad’s here!” He looked particularly pleased to see the elder Vulcan. Spock grimaced at McCoy, some of the old irritation back suddenly. Kirk smiled at that reflection of what they all had been together in the past. But Kirk was more surprised and pleased by the undisguised warmth and concern in Spock’s eyes as he regarded his father. Sarek stood, not
so steadily, as
both McCoy and Spock looked concerned and stepped forward.
Spock stepped up for the familial embrace
and, almost immediately, asked that everyone sit rather abruptly,
likely for
his father’s sake. McCoy piped up his usual, “How ‘bout drinks all around? And I’ll fix dinner! I’ve got some bottles of saya…” “That would be welcome,” Sarek responded, sounding more at ease. Kirk felt irritation with himself. Not only had he not offered Sarek anything to drink, but he had not even thought to bring saya, even though he knew both Spock and Sarek enjoyed the alcoholic beverage prevalent on Vulcan. Was he that self-absorbed? Or just overwhelmed and distracted by all that had happened, was happening? They drank and talked until dinner was prepared, or rather unboxed, as McCoy was directed to the five-star meals within the piles of stasis boxes heaped about the counters. The dishes were delicious and well-chosen – a hot, spicy, moist and savory h’renvoh, a risotto-type casserole of Vulcan grain similar to Africa’s couscous with mixed mushrooms, nuts and rich heady cheeses, also of Vulcan, the mixture of which smelled almost identical to steak; a light mix of lettuces, tomatoes, olives & peppers (all popular imports and now locally grown on Vulcan in temperature-controlled ‘greenhouses’, and common on menus on Vulcan) with a tangy light dressing the Vulcans dubbed together Terrasen Salad (meaning “appreciated of Earth”); and nilgah, a sort of frittata of an egg-like base mixed with BBQ’d root vegetables similar to potatoes and onions, that had a piquant yet rich flavor of malt vinegar and caramelized onions with a touch of Tobasco, which had become very popular as a breakfast dish for humans to Vulcan’s chagrin, since in its dried form it was viewed as an easily portable snack for outdoor performances, much like the human’s popcorn. The conversation was relaxed and free-flowing all around as the winds outside howled and roared, but Sarek looked as if he was beginning to fade during the bittersweet chocolate-cognac mousse that had been Amanda’s specialty dessert for celebrations. McCoy casually and subtlety, with the many years of practice with patients, directed him back to the couch as the others dispersed around him and continued the conversation. Sarek’s input seemed to fade as the next hour went by; his normally articulate and sophisticated asides and commentary slimmed to short and less focused until they realized he had fallen asleep supported by the tumble of pillows off at the end of the couch. Silence momentarily descended at the unusual occurrence. McCoy smiled. Kirk looked at McCoy suspiciously. “I did nothing but refill his drink a few times. He looked beat when we came in this afternoon; I’m surprised he lasted this long, to be honest.” Spock only stared at his father as if he’d never seen him asleep, one eyebrow arching at the incongruity. Kirk had to admit the elder Vulcan looked serene and vulnerable, almost sweet, that way. He couldn’t help but smile, watching him. “We could cover him up and let him sleep right here,” McCoy offered. Kirk shook his head. “I think he’d be more comfortable in the privacy of the master bedroom.” Spock stepped forward and gently laid his hand in the meld position on Sarek’s face. “He is rather deeply asleep, but I will deepen it further so I can transfer him without disturbing him.” Spock carried his father into the bedroom with McCoy and Kirk following. Spock and McCoy talked in hushed tones for a moment then began to remove Sarek’s clothes. Kirk felt strange viewing the son and doctor doing such. He didn’t know why. Spock noticed Kirk’s discomfort and looked confused. “I have had to do this for my father before, to help my mother. Nudity is not so unusual between Vulcan family members as it is between human.” Another cultural
distinction,
Kirk realized, and he had to wonder if many humans felt uncomfortable
because
it seemed somehow almost incestuous to see a family member nude. Of course, with the requirement of Pon Farr
plaguing
all males with the only option of death, perhaps less stringent lines
were pragmatically
realized. He had heard that it was
sometimes necessary, though rare, for a family member to step in to
save a
loved one. Spock seemed almost uncharacteristically to prattle on, as if to reassure Kirk, which seemed odd. “My father showered with me when he first taught me to use a water shower when I was eight. My mother had said it was…adorable…and threatened to take a picture of us.” Kirk grinned, imagining how embarrassed Sarek and Spock would have been to have such a photo existed, and realized, whatever Spock’s intention, he had actually become more comfortable. Still, he had to
wonder why
Spock was trying to make Kirk more at ease around his father. Perhaps he also sensed that his father needed
to be kept closer, that their threesome could become a foursome with
him. It warmed him to consider the
prospect though
he’d thought that it might make him feel even more apart from Spock,
his
relationship to his closest friend even more diluted with the larger
group, as
if a spoke on a wheel he had always been the hub of. As the last layers were gently removed and Sarek lay naked between tender hands, Kirk felt his discomfort rise and realized he was staring at a length of naked, sculpted thigh and buttock he could spy between McCoy and Spock before they slipped the covers over him. He felt himself harden and turned abruptly from the scene, hoping neither man had noticed his sudden and obvious erection. This was hardly conducive behavior to his characterization of Sarek as a father-figure. It could be quite embarrassing if either McCoy, or worse Spock, should notice. He was renowned for his womanizing, and Sarek was practically family, not to mention Vulcan, very male, as well as quite dominant! He doubted Sarek would appreciate being viewed as a sexual object by him. It confused him completely as to why he would suddenly be thinking of Sarek in a sexual way. Perhaps in his strange desire to get to know the elder Vulcan better, the barriers of his being the “ambassador” and “Federation council member” were slipping away without the accoutrements of office about him. They were also on holiday and relaxing more about each other. Something neither Sarek nor he were often allowed. Perhaps it was his own competitiveness? Seeing Sarek as a sexual conquest to beat all and somehow taking advantage of his temporary vulnerability to feel dominant of him? He certainly hoped he would be above that at least! With Amanda’s recent death leaving Sarek vulnerable, perhaps he was viewing Sarek more as a living, breathing being rather than a mighty obstacle or bulwark? Perhaps it was just his ever-ready lust trying to sort out the confusion of recent events and present circumstances for him. He had to smile at how Sarek might respond to his confusion remedying itself by the possibility of screwing him of all things. And he had been worrying about his niece? He shook his head and chuckled at his libido coming undone in the beautiful mountain paradise. But wasn’t it almost any human’s fantasy to have a Vulcan, though he’d assumed he’d set his sights on one of their petite, female variety. Kirk remembered the heavy wool blanket that he had meant to add to the layers to make sure Sarek wasn’t chilled and retrieved it from the closet. He stepped in as McCoy and Spock were stepping out and lay the additional blanket over the sleeping Vulcan, still feeling disturbed at the intimacy of such, but not sure why. Still feeling compelled to stand longer than he should at his bedside for no reason, curious even to brush his fingers down Sarek’s check as he slept. He started to reach, but stopped himself as suddenly. Why would he feel such an odd compulsion? He turned to find Spock watching him with an odd look, as if trying to figure something out but without quite enough pieces. A slight smile graced his lips. “Father will be in better health with adequate sleep and regular meals.” Here Spock sighed. “He has not slept well since Mother’s death. Perhaps tonight he shall.” Spock’s voice sounded somewhat sad but hopeful, but he schooled his features so that his father would have been proud. Kirk thought that interesting since his father would never know. Kirk turned off the light and the moonlight bathed the room in a blue-white glow. An owl called out in the distance and the wind quieted, as if to allow Sarek a peaceful night’s rest. As he slipped the
door closed, the
chiming of the comm. system caught Kirk’s attention and he headed for
the
dining area to answer. With a quick
check he noted it was already almost The screen lit up with the face of Jane, smiling a little too much and her eyes a little too hardened. Kirk swallowed; she wanted something, and he could guess what it was. They dealt with the preliminaries in short order. Jane’s were a little rushed, her tone a little fevered. He didn’t even bother to remind her of the time difference – she was a teenager, and if she realized she had imposed, she would forget the next minute anyway. And almost immediately, she asked who’d shown up. He stifled the
urge to sigh and
forced a bland expression. “Just the
usual suspects,” he said and tried to change course by inquiring into
how things
were in But she was like her uncle, a dog with a bone. She wanted names. Numbers to be exact. She wanted an excuse to find a vacancy so she could escape ‘her evil parents’ who likely wanted her to spend some time with them instead of clubbing ‘til all hours. Luckily, with the present senior officers’ history of rarely intersecting with Sarek due to each of their constant travels, she would never have guessed Sarek was there. But neither did he want to damage his relationship with her by lying outright. She could be so impulsive, and he wanted to feel secure that she wouldn’t do exactly as she pleased, as she too often did. But now she was suspicious after he reminded her of how late it was and how they were dog-tired and headed off to bed. He gave the usual line of never knowing how much time he would have with them, which he immediately regretted. Her lips tightened at that – she was thinking the same for herself. Kirk could have, should have, visited more often, and they both knew it. “How is Spock doing?” She asked, sounding completely sincere. He knew what her next question would be however and felt himself tensing, more irritated. “He’s doing okay for losing his mother,” he said softly. He noticed Spock didn’t even look his way, but his eyes closed at the reminder. Here it comes, he thought. “And Ambassador Sarek?” He forced down his anger at being used to pursue her obsession. “As well as can be expected…I suppose,” he realized that the last had been appended after a bit too long a delay. He noticed Jane’s eyes narrowed at that. He hoped she wouldn’t inquire further about Sarek, or the jig would be up. He put on his annoyed and tired ‘uncle’ face that tended to dissuade her from pushing the matter. He had not told her not to come, but she was mature enough to realize what an imposition it could have been, especially to thrust him between her and her parents, who were decent and kind if only a bit strict. But they also would be supporting her through college and so she likely realized she had quite a good thing, better than most had, even himself at that age. She left it at that, hopefully to get drawn into the dizzying Christmas festivities that he was glad to be apart from, this year especially. McCoy and Spock slipped off to bed, though he noticed both still had questions in their eyes. They would be asked, he realized, but at least not until breakfast. He headed for the large, comfortable couch, pleased to notice the fire still roaring. He fell asleep in a matter of seconds. ---ooOoo--- He jerked awake,
from noise he
discerned but his memory and perception of it not clear enough to know
from
what. He thought he heard knocking, but
blunter;
as if there was work being done on another cabin nearby, had there been
any
others close enough. But the fire was
still burning steadily, so it could only be about He stopped outside the master bedroom door, concerned because they had left Sarek in there fast asleep. What the hell could he be doing? Or somebody doing to him? His heart sped up. He wrapped on the door, but no response came. He turned the doorknob as quietly and slipped the door open, and peered through the moonlit room toward the bed. The bed was banging into the wall, and with some force. Sarek was on his elbows and knees, thrusting. Kirk could clearly see his length of sculpted thigh and buttocks flexing. What the hell? Someone much smaller was beneath him, almost fully covered by his body, being held down, also naked. Sarek was having sexual intercourse with somebody! The shock of that, out of the blue, was even less confusing than who could have shown up in the middle of the night. Kirk thought to turn away quickly, but was too confused as to who could be there with Sarek and why they were having what appeared to be loud, enthusiastic sex in the middle of the night. The light waves looked like Amanda’s. His stomach clenched. She was dead! What the hell was going on? He braced against his instincts to leave quickly, and instead, stepped closer, as they both seemed too distracted to notice him anyway. He had to know. Sarek increased his tempo, pounding harder into the sprawled body beneath his. He was moaning now, his breathing ragged, obviously close to climax. Kirk’s face flamed with embarrassment, he wanted so to back out, but he had to see the face. Felt compelled to understand, when suddenly… His niece looked out from beneath Sarek’s chest, with a big smile and said, “See, Uncle Jim! I told you he’d like me!” Jim jumped at that and fell face first onto the floor beneath the couch. He noticed the fire was long dead and that dawn was just breaking, the soft pinks and purples painting the room. A nightmare. It had been only a bizarre and unsettling nightmare. But then he heard a soft moan – Sarek, and then he heard a door open down the hall and saw a figure quickly slip into Sarek’s room. Kirk grabbed his robe and followed. Spock was standing over the head of the bed. The bedding had been kicked almost completely off, only half covering his buttocks and legs. Kirk stepped close to see Spock touching his father’s meld points again, and Sarek suddenly quieted. Kirk leaned over and grabbed the covers and pulled them back in place, trying not to notice Sarek’s naked body. He felt guilty about the seeming disloyalty of the nightmare. Why would his mind go there? But at the same time, he realized as quickly that he now had an erection again – from the nightmare, seeing Sarek naked again or just his morning usual he didn’t know. He turned and bid Spock ‘good morning’ and shuffled away to the shower down the hall to take care of his ‘problem’. He tried to focus on his recent and best sexual experiences as he pumped himself under the pounding water, but his mind kept unearthing Sarek’s thrusting and moans from the nightmare, his naked back, thighs and buttocks flexing. The tight, weighty balls revealed as his thighs separated for better leverage in his excited thrusting. He chalked it up to the stress he still needed to release, as well as his sexual tension, and the call from Jane and seeing Sarek, or parts thereof of him naked – just an amalgam of anxieties, concerns, and discomforts blended together haphazardly, he decided. He guiltily let his mind wander to his ‘vision’ of Sarek close to climax, sans Jane of course, because it seemed the only thing he was responding to at the moment and his balls were aching. Sarek was quite attractive, even quite sexy he’d grant him, Kirk rationalized, and Kirk had had some male partners, though he tended to choose the soft, supple curves of a woman. However, a Vulcan male tended to peak most being’s interest since they were so unavailable and generally uninterested in anything other than a permanent bondmate, for good reason. And lying there undressed Sarek had looked so vulnerable and …acquiescent? Accommodating? He grinned. Jesus Jim, say it like it was! He was asleep, for God’s sake! There’s kinky, as in using a sexual dream of Sarek getting some to get off in the shower, then there’s just plain grotesque. He couldn’t imagine what Sarek’s reaction would be to his thoughts of his being asleep characterized as accommodating! And here he was worried about Jane taking advantage of Sarek’s grief and vulnerability! He shook such thoughts from his head and reoriented himself and his stomach toward breakfast. Good smells wafted through the cabin – coffee obviously, and he heard the pop and sputter of eggs and bacon, along with a scent he immediately connected with Vulcan, and Amanda – ka’cha, the delicious morning cakes of Vulcan origin that he remembered them all scarfing down, even Sarek, until Amanda patted her husband’s almost nonexistent tummy. They reminded Kirk of waffles by their texture, but a spicier and less-sweet coffee cake or pumpkin pie by there taste. He remembered eating far too many, far too often. He noticed first that Sarek wasn’t at the dining table, likely still asleep. Then he noticed all eyes on him as he reached for his first ka’cha and looked about for the mugs. “How’s Jane?” McCoy asked with bright eyes, already focused on the hunt. “Fine,” Kirk replied and poured his coffee. “Sarek still asleep?” McCoy laughed. “Yea, he was pretty wiped, I figure he’ll wake up by lunch. He brought enough Ka’cha for an army. A good thing from the way I’ve seen you and Sarek put them away!” He snorted at that and smiled. “He also brought a huge container of those cubed fruits and cheeses that everybody loved.” He sampled a few of the dice-sized morsels even before he finished speaking, eyeing the almost clear, glimmering edible sealants that kept them fresh and less messy – sort of like candy-coated chocolates from Earth, but without the crunch. Kirk sauntered
over and smiled
at so many of his favorites in the bowl. He
snagged a blue tangy cherry/lime tasting fruit cube he
remembered
well, as well as a maroon cheese cube that tasted similar to blue
cheese mixed
with brie and chewed while preparing his coffee. “Jane getting ready for college?” McCoy asked, none-to-subtly. “Yea,” Kirk mumbled through his ka’cha, fruit, cheese and coffee all at once to McCoy’s head shake and rolling eyes. His morning shower had left him starving. He blushed at the material he had used, glad not to face Sarek so soon after. “Should I call Jane today for more detail?” McCoy asked with a sly look. “NO!” Kirk barked even as he realized his mistake, then stared into his coffee. Both McCoy’s and Spock’s eyebrows lifted at that. “There’s a lot going on,” he said, as if that should be explanation enough, then brightened. “So what’s planned for the day? You think the weather will clear so we can go to the springs?” Both McCoy and Spock stared at him. He realized they would not let it go. “She wants to come to the cabin for Christmas.” “And…” McCoy asked, obviously confused. “I’d rather have Sarek here,” Kirk admitted. “I didn’t realize they were mutually exclusive.” McCoy’s deadpan even brought a twitch of a smile to Spock’s face. “Perhaps next year, when things are more…recovered,” he said. “Sarek likes kids.” McCoy piped up. “Hell, he teaches whole classrooms of kids almost that age at the VSA, all species, and they adore him from what I’ve seen. He’d be a good influence!” Spock kept his mouth closed at that and an eyebrow cocked up. “At least with those unrelated to him,” he offered with dry humor, but only received a glare from McCoy. “I was worried about her influence on him.” Kirk felt irritated and embarrassed to have to embroil his friends in his niece’s teenage angst, obsession and irresponsibility. McCoy looked more confused. “Sarek’s a battleship!” Then he rethought that. “Okay, lately maybe a sturdy tugboat, with the nav on the fritz, and maybe a few leaks, repairable though…but what can a 17-year-old do to him?” Kirk blushed at that. “You haven’t seen her, Bones.” He cleared his throat. “She’s filled out, and learned quite a few tricks.” “A regular Lolita? With Kirk perseverance and charm?” McCoy smiled hugely, then shook his head. “You know how many women, hell, and men, have likely tried to get into Sarek’s pants?” Spock dropped his fork loudly. “Oh, sorry ‘bout that, Spock! I keep forgetting you’re related.” That drew a glare from Spock now; a big improvement from when father and son acted like they didn’t even know each other, Kirk decided. Not to mention that McCoy was starting to irritate Spock more, which seemed more like it used to be. “Sarek’s not himself,” Kirk said. “I don’t think he’d fall for her schemes, but why should he have to go through that misery?” “Why would you believe she would focus her attentions upon my father?” Spock asked, lifting an eyebrow at his Captain. Kirk swallowed; he had hoped to avoid this part altogether. Maybe a few subtle clues and they’d back off. “She wants to focus on diplomacy, physics and linguistics in college.” McCoy looked confused by the seeming non sequitur. Spock looked mildly surprised by the bizarre ‘coincidence’. “Then my father would be in a better position to guide her since those were his and Mother’s specializations in school.” Kirk shook his
head at Spock’s
naiveté and went for the clincher. “Did
you know, Spock, that your father has been on People’s 100 Sexiest List
since
his first visit to Earth?” Now Spock looked confused. “Which peoples?” He cocked his head the other direction now, reminding Kirk momentarily of the boxer named Spud he’d had as a kid. McCoy laughed out loud. “Jim, I know YOU don’t read People, so I would have to guess that Jane does.” Kirk turned back to Spock. “I was going to introduce Jane to your father when I worked at HQ, until I saw she had his holos pasted over the wall of her bedroom. An entire wall. Hundreds of different holos.” He thought it best not to mention that Amanda had been excised out of many of them, and that Jane had even inserted herself in many instead. Spock stared at Kirk, looking completely baffled. “He is my own father and I only have a few holographic images of him. And why would one paste such onto a wall?” McCoy was still laughing. “Boy, I had a few crushes when I was that age. Damn, if I’d been in the same room with…” Then his face registered the problem. “Oh! I get it!” Then he snorted so hard he couldn’t down the last of his coffee. “But it would certainly be entertaining!” Spock still looked confused and shook his head, which he had been doing a lot since hanging around McCoy more, like a barn cat with mites in its ears. They resealed the stasis boxes and adjourned to the living room around the now-roaring fire, relaxing and awaiting the weather to clear. ---ooOoo--- As Spock wandered off to the shower, McCoy gave Kirk another side-long glance. “So what else is going on?” Kirk flushed; McCoy and his seeming sonar. “It’s nothing.” “Not nothin’ if it’s bothering you.” Kirk shook his head. “Just a nightmare, a dream – it made no sense.” McCoy looked back to make sure Spock was gone. “Did it involve Sarek?” Kirk almost dropped his hot coffee into his lap. “Now why would you think that?” McCoy had a soft smile. “Oh, there just seems to be something going on between you two, not sure quite what. Do you blame him for any of…the recent events?” “Of course not!” “Feel guilty about what he’s been through?” “That would be ridiculous!” McCoy smiled again. “Just because it seems ridiculous doesn’t mean it’s not happening.” Kirk sighed and looked over his shoulder. “He was having…relations…with Jane.” McCoy almost choked on his coffee. “Certainly more interesting than my dreams of re-cataloging blood types as the nurses sang old ditties. Wanna trade?” He had a lewd grin and waggled his eyebrows. “I’d have dream-holo’d that one for future viewing.” Kirk glared at McCoy. “Please, Jim. They’re both attractive, and I’m not related to either. So what’s the fuss?” “She’s a minor!” “It was a dream, for God’s sake! And she’s hardly a kid anymore. In most places she’d have her own kids already!” McCoy was still smiling. “Makes me wonder what prompted it, and how long did you watch?” He snorted, then raised his hands in mock defense. Besides, from the looks of it, it might be just what the doctor ordered, for Sarek at least.” Kirk’s expression changed from anger to bewilderment. “Do I even want to know what that means?” Kirk looked hesitant but quite curious. McCoy stared into his coffee. “Just that I would have to assume Sarek is still having a mighty hard time meditating…ergo certain…urges are still bothering him rather frequently, from the looks of it… Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, Mr. Ever-Ready yourself.” The doctor cleared his throat and didn’t meet Kirk’s eyes. “He did have an enthusiastic partner for fifty years. And was married before that too. He probably has never had to consider what to do about…this issue. Someone always took care of it for him.” Kirk was starting to regret asking as he started to understand. He remembered from reading McCoy’s recent paper on the little Vulcan biology that he’d been able to acquire that meditation was used to suppress both emotions and sexual urges, at least until an appropriate time for release. And that difficulty sleeping as well as stress inhibited the ability to meditate significantly. A vicious cycle that fed on itself. He had thought
Sarek’s pants
looked quite tight in that certain area, but had chalked it up to the
angle he
was sitting, the tighter pants and his somewhat larger endowments. Could he have had a hard-on?
And if McCoy also noticed, it must not have
been just a momentary difficulty. Perhaps
this contributed to Sarek’s reticence at being
there? Kirk felt himself blush and
resolved not to
look below Sarek’s waist. Good
Luck, he thought, he’d already briefly
checked him out down there for no reason whatsoever! He looked about to pursue that line when Sarek entered looking somewhat dazed, and a bit rumpled, even though he appeared to have put himself in good order. Kirk decided it was more in his sleepy eyes and lack of focus than his clothing or grooming. He uncharacteristically ran his fingers through his hair, mussing the perfect lines and freeing it into waves, then glanced over at Kirk and McCoy. McCoy couldn’t help grinning. “What was the last thing you remember, Sarek?” “It was night. We were discussing... I
was sitting on the couch, or....” “Well…good afternoon!” McCoy crowed. Sarek frowned and looked out into the bright light. “Afternoon?” Kirk had to smile at Sarek’s confusion and loss of composure. It appeared his time sense was loused up, too, which could be risky out in the cold. He also noticed Sarek wore a thick sweater just long enough to mask any erection he might have. “Is there coffee?” Sarek shuffled toward the kitchen. McCoy and Kirk rocketed up and hustled over to help. Sarek looked at the moment to be a liability around hot liquids and breakables. “Do you feel like breakfast or lunch?” McCoy asked. “I require neither at this time, but thank you.” “Okay, but do you prefer breakfast or lunch now. You’re not in any condition to skip a meal.” McCoy had slipped into his somewhat gruff doctor-tone. Sarek blinked, dumbfounded at what appeared to be an order, befuddled at what he was not used to, Kirk presumed. Sarek turned to Kirk who set coffee at the table and pulled a chair out for him. He looked vaguely suspicious at the solicitousness. Sarek appeared to have the wind pulled from his sails as he sat almost dutifully. “Some Ka’cha would be amenable, if there is any left.” McCoy guffawed at that. “Jim barely made a dent in it, you brought so much.” Kirk mock-glared at McCoy. “I only ate 10.” McCoy’s face went slack as he turned toward Kirk. Kirk smiled. “Okay, five.” “Still a few too many for your waistline,” McCoy said. Kirk glared for real, then watched Sarek with concern. Sarek was curiously quiet and compliant, which didn’t bode well for his health. McCoy seemed also to have noticed as his smile faltered momentarily. McCoy seemed prepared to stare over Sarek’s shoulder until he finished the ample plate of five Ka’cha before him. Sarek sighed and focused intently on his designated meal. Kirk pulled McCoy away and angled him out the back door to collect more firewood to give Sarek some peace. Sarek relaxed as he heard them exit the cabin. He was still rather cognizant of his problem, trying to refocus on what he had always seemed to enjoy before, but the treats would not distract him any. He barely noticed the texture or the flavor and shifted once again, glad to be rid of the audience who would have been curious about the Vulcan’s uncharacteristic shifting. He was relieved that he had thought to bring some of his longer, thicker sweaters. Logically, he should not be embarrassed about such a state since he was still a normal, virile, adult Vulcan male. But the small space, thin walls, and frigid temperatures outside limited the possibilities for privacy, and therefore for release. He would need to somehow find solitude to deal with it by last resort. It was apparent that meditation would not suppress the urge, even after a reasonable night of rest. He regretted not considering this possibility after Amanda’s death to consider seeking a healer’s advice, but there had been too much to deal with to have thought for such frivolity. He did not anticipate that it would continue so and cause so much distraction and distress, especially as the cabin came into view. He wished that the Captain hadn’t noticed his arrival so quickly; he had barely time to refasten his pants before Kirk had tapped on the window. It could have been exactly the private, soundproofed solitude he had needed. Amanda had always noticed and took care of such urges, often even before he could proceed to meditate and suppress them. She had seemed quite determined and adamant in disallowing meditation for such and perhaps he had fallen out of practice for such. He remembered some of her measures for relief besides the expected and accepted mating between bondmates – her dainty, soft hands, her supple lips and questing tongue - his pants further tightened. He was being illogical in his focus on what he would never experience again, though his lust had tried to tempt him with the purchase of high-end, discreet services, solicitations for which appeared in his personal mail, curiously almost immediately upon his wife’s death, and ever since. He had also been approached by many overly-friendly female acquaintances and colleagues, to his surprise, as well as several males, that seemed too awfully interested in bringing him to their homes late at night. He had also wondered at the tremendous rush of offers of lunch, dinner, drinks or events, and what might have been implied then or later had he taken any of them. Could those also have had sexual connotations, since this specific flood of offers were by those who had not attempted such earlier, but only after his wife’s death? It felt as if a sea of sex had attempted to fill his dimple of need, or at least what should have been a dimple with proper meditation but now had grown quiet burdensome and demanding. It was ironic
that now he was
more attuned to such possibilities, but perhaps it was for the best. None of those options were discreet enough or
without risk of serious expectations from the offering party, discovery
or blackmail. And he was in no such
position to allow such
risks to his family, clan, Vulcan, the Federation, or those who
depended on his
reputation and influence as the entire He sighed and tried to focus on his study of the climactic conditions in the area and the possibility of the temperature increase as Kirk predicted so that he might find a trail to follow for a ‘short hike’ alone for his solitude and relief. But even his concentration was too reduced by the now hefty bulge and too little denim constricting it. A sudden wrapping at the front door distracted him from his uncharacteristic sulking. His curiosity pounced to the forefront and he stood and looked around. No one came forward to answer, so he walked over and peered out. A young human female stood on the porch rubbing her gloved hands together. Sarek could not help but wonder why she might be doing such as the friction of the gloves would offer so minimal an increase in entropy not to offer any significant heat to her hands. He opened the door. “May I be of assistance?” he asked. She stared at him. Her eyes grew large and she uttered not a sound. Sarek’s eyes were immediately drawn to the significant cleavage and slashes in her tight denim pants that showed much of the pale, soft skin of her thighs. He looked back at her face, quickly, before other parts of his body responded with more than a twitch and slight further swell, and castigated himself for his distraction and unseemly behavior before he could curtail it. He decided she might not speak English, even though few tourists would be wandering so far from any of the metropolitan areas, especially in such weather. “Do you speak English?” he asked, realizing the illogic of the question since if she didn’t, how would she know what he was asking?” Perhaps his thought processes were disabled by his tumescence, as his wife often theorized. But he couldn’t think of a more likely language in the area and from the American look of her, though she was well-bundled (except for cleavage and thighs). He determined that she was likely in no danger of imminent hypothermia. She shivered and he realized his mistake. “Come in and warm yourself.” She still stared at him, without a word, but luckily stepped through the door so the cold wouldn’t so affect them. Sarek felt thankful to have at least curtailed what felt like of ice razors slicing his hands, face and neck. But still she only stood mute with wide eyes. “Can you speak?” he asked, realizing another assumption he had made, as if even his seasoned, almost automatic, diplomatic skills had been leeched from him in the cold. But she did not seem even to respond by movement or reaction. Her big eyes still stared at his face. He began to become concerned that somehow he had frightened her, but then why would she have come inside? Or perhaps she had been out in the cold too long or had been in an accident? Her hair seemed wild and untamed and there were those tears in her pant legs but no injury to the flesh beneath or to the down coat about her. Sarek decided he needed help with this confusing human visitor. “I will return in a moment,” he said softly so not to frighten her further and stepped through the cabin to secure help, just as the back door opened to Kirk and McCoy with armfuls of firewood. Kirk must have noticed Sarek’s quick approach for he froze almost mid-step and McCoy plowed into him, losing his hold and dumping snowy firewood all about their feet as both leapt away cursing. Sarek raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, looking somewhat bemused but concerned. “There is a young, mute female I just allowed entrance.” Kirk’s looked pained. “Dammit! Jane!” “Hi, Uncle Jim,” she squeaked from the entry. Kirk couldn’t help but brace for impact. Jane poured out
her outrageous tale
of woe. She was an addict of soap operas
but raised by experienced and cynical parents who never bought her
spiel. Uncle Jim translated all of the
diversion of
responsibility and exaggeration in his head. She had been bored and
frustrated. Picked a fight with her
mother then stepfather. They grounded
her. She snuck out and stole the
stepfather’s flitter instead of her mother’s because it had her
favorite music
in it, and it was a long drive. Now she
would wreak havoc in their little cabin far, far away from any help. End of story. He momentarily
considered
locking her in the hall closet for the interim. He
noticed the rapt Vulcans and realized he might have a
problem with
that. He doubted that Vulcans had any
experience with such a load of stellar waste as she just dumped at
their feet. She had always
been a good
actress and a convincing liar. From the
viewpoint of a Vulcan, it would seem her world had crumbled through no
fault of
her own. There had been no food in their
home – she had been starving (she only wanted pizza).
Her parents were no better than jailors, and
she had been locked in her room (of her own accord) with no heat
(regardless
that it was From a Vulcan’s point of view surely that was neglect and child abuse, especially on such a damp and cold planet, and during the winter season. Uncle Jim was her last hope and family was of prime importance to Vulcans. Spock and Sarek appeared quite concerned as they turned their attentions to the uncle, who did not look pleased, with anyone in the room, which seemed wholly illogical but of little consequence when there was an abused and neglected child in rags to protect and render aid to. McCoy, who knew human teenagers, seemed very amused by her ease at swaying the Vulcans, and curious at the dynamics of the household should she stay. The entertainment could be just quite what he needed. A little drama could also go a long way to bring some sense to the emotional logger jam they had all seemed to be caught in, Sarek most of all. Jane had learned well and came across as the young but mature and intelligent sophisticate. When she pleaded to be allowed to stay, the Vulcans stared at Kirk in silent bequest, and McCoy egged her on, knowing full well her story was a load of crap. No one would be any help in prying her out of the cabin and back into the aircar ‘borrowed to save herself’. Kirk glared at McCoy. McCoy played his best innocent face. And so, Jane stayed, at least until she could drive back home rested and in full daylight. He had a bad feeling however that she would not be leaving so quickly or easily as he hoped, and that their relaxing and restorative holiday may promptly dissolve into neither. After three
hours, Kirk’s mood
only grew darker with each wave of giggles from his niece.
He realized she had the Vulcans snowed and
Sarek seemed intent on spending every minute with her while Spock and
McCoy had
wandered off on another walk around the lake. The
sun was bright and high in the sky and the temperature
had climbed
to record levels for that time of year – perfect for visiting Kirk would have thought Jane would have run out of questions in three hours. He had never had more than minutes alone with the ambassador and had been too respectful and courteous to ask most of the questions she had. Somehow she got away with an abashed look or biting her lip with a concerned preface to ask just about anything. Kirk had been fascinated by most of Sarek’s answers for the first hour, but Jane’s giggling and fawning had become such an irritant that Kirk couldn’t even concentrate on what Sarek had been saying for almost two hours now. Then she placed her hand within an inch of Sarek’s erection, barely noticeable under the thick rolls of sweater bunched together just ‘conveniently’ so. Kirk jumped out of the recliner, surprising both Jane and Sarek into sudden silence. Sarek looked tense, because of Jane’s hand or Kirk launching at that precise moment he would never know, but he had to cover as he tore his eyes from her hand, still too near Sarek’s crotch. Sarek only needed to lean forward ever so slightly for direct contact, direct enough for Sarek, Jane and him, he gathered. He had wanted to yank Jane’s hand away, give her a good long lecture on appropriate behavior, and considered worse measures for Sarek, likely due as much to his black mood as the elder Vulcan’s giving Jane such ridiculous leeway as to almost offer an invitation to fondle him. But more than anything, Kirk wanted his holiday back. He was imagining and exaggerating too many things, he presumed. He needed some air was all, he decided. He realized both Jane and Sarek still stared at him. Both almost looked guilty and apprehensive of him. But that was likely only his imagination again. Jane did slide her hand from Sarek’s thigh, finally, at least. “I’ll go chop some wood before we run low,” he said easily and stepped out onto the back patio out of view. He seemed oblivious of the massive pile of firewood he, Spock and McCoy had already chopped, and brought in only the few hours earlier. It loomed almost to the ceiling. They had joked that they’d better burn some before it fell over and crushed someone to death. Before Kirk could raise the ax even a second time, Jane was at his side. “Where’s your boyfriend?” He asked. His sarcasm felt a little too cold. He tried to smile but it came out a grimace. She scowled. “He went to meditate.” Kirk hoped that, the scowl was directed at his sarcasm. Surely she couldn’t really believe his characterization of Sarek as her boyfriend? “I’ll bet he did,” Kirk said, his voice still tight in anger. He noticed that the rips in her jeans seem more pervasive and wider, showing far more skin than he realized, and that the view changed depending on the angle, but encompassed most of her hips and legs. He swallowed. How much had Sarek seen? He also noticed that her hip-hugger pants rode even lower than he remembered and were quite tight in all the right areas to catch a man’s eye. He wondered if it would look odd if he made her wear a pair of his, belted of course. She leaned forward to play with a button on his jacket and Kirk realized that most of her generous breasts were clearly visible from the angle Sarek would have seen. As her uncle, how had he been so blind? But then, Sarek could have moved away, stood or removed her hand. Was the ambassador too distracted because of his arousal, and too unused to the condition to compensate for it? Was she really flirting with him, or was it simply hero-worship, adoration of someone from afar, filled with hopes and dreams made up mostly of the denial and delusion of the teenage years? Did she even realize how incredibly forward she was being toward a Vulcan? She had acted likely as a bondmate would in private before mating. Sarek had to believe that teasing would be illogical except as a precursor to copulation. Did she not realize that to a Vulcan that would be an invitation, in fact an aggressive seduction? Sarek could easily have felt her desires, her lust and likely her images of what she wanted when she touched him, likely even if he shielded. She might has well have jumped on top of him! “Does it take long?” She asked, her impatience at waiting obvious. Already she seemed needy of him. It was disgusting and so absurd that she would even have a clue what would be required of the wife of a Vulcan, especially one in Sarek’s position. It wasn’t just sex and posing for photographs. He had to wonder if he were so naïve at that age. But the photographs made the ambassador and his life seem so glamorous and likely carefree from his niece’s viewpoint. And the sex, well, that was likely where her mind conjured most of her thoughts and hopes from – one continuous sexual fantasy. Kirk froze, flashes of his dream recurring, then he remembered her earlier question. “Depends on how much he needs to deal with, I guess.” A lot, he surmised. Calves, thighs, breasts, provocative giggles and a hand very close to his erection, which must be enormous, he imagined. And why did Sarek suddenly think that meditation might suddenly do the trick now? It made little sense. “I’m going for a walk,” Jane said, as if pulling the thought out of thin air as she closed her coat tightly about her. She strutted off forcefully, as if on a mission. Kirk looked after her suspiciously; rather surprised she wasn’t standing outside Sarek’s door with her ear to it. She disappeared into the trees in the distance and Kirk took his anger out on huge logs, producing much kindling. Sarek stepped out onto the back porch, to Kirk’s surprise. He stepped down the steps to the patio as Kirk looked up and noticed he was quite well-wrapped, even for a Vulcan. A frown tugged at his lips at the timing. “Going somewhere?” He asked. His first concern was that Sarek was all ready to escape Jane by leaving the cabin altogether. Why else did he try the last ditch and short-lived effort at meditation? Kirk felt badly for his paranoia and anger directed at the ambassador and saddened by the end of their chance to get to know one another. It seemed he had been correct initially about Jane’s effect, after all. “I determined that a short hike might be beneficial,” Sarek said, looking out at the snowy landscape dubiously. Kirk’s relief tangled with his renewed paranoia and anger that had returned full-force. Interesting timing. He nodded at Sarek because he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t end their association immediately and likely make himself look the fool. He was tempted to follow, but with Vulcan hearing and the crunching of fresh snow as well as the tracks he would leave, it would be obscenely obvious, if not pathetic. He was letting his paranoia take flight again, he was sure. He was almost acting the hysteric and couldn’t figure why. At the same time he felt left out again and resented that he didn’t have Sarek’s company yet again. He was tempted to ask to join him, but got the impression Sarek would have invited him had he desired company and he knew that Vulcans treasured their solitude, needed it at times. But he was Vulcan, and it was cold. He would likely be back soon anyway, and Jane would be gone the next morning. He hoped. He still watched Sarek tromp off into the snow. He didn’t insult the ambassador by reminding him to stick to the trails, his own footprints would be easy for him to follow back or to reach him by if they had any worries. The day was clear and there weren’t even any storms on the horizon or expected even the next day. Besides, the cold would likely bring the Vulcan back too quickly for anything disastrous to happen, as long as he didn’t go too close to the water. But again, Vulcans and large bodies of water didn’t mix well either. He doubted Sarek would approach the lake unless it was a matter of life or death. He couldn’t help
but notice that
Sarek walked off in the same direction as Jane. And
her footprints would be just as easy for Sarek to
follow. Kirk shook his head.
What
the hell is wrong with me? He knew
Sarek well enough, didn’t he? But he
knew a married Sarek with his head on straight, without a raging
hard-on. God, he would be relieved when
Jane was
gone. He tried to focus on his plans
after. Sarek had been walking almost fifteen minutes before he stopped to look back toward the cabin in the distance. He decided it would look less odd if he didn’t look back too soon in case someone were watching him. He felt relief that no one had asked to come along. He stepped off the trail toward the lake as it appeared sunnier and therefore warmer there. He looked back over his shoulder. Though his footprints would make it easy to follow him here, he was far enough off the trail that anyone along the trail would not notice him sitting there. The other footprints he saw had continued on over the rise, so likely that person was too far away to see anything through the trees and hill between. The view of the lake was spectacular, but Sarek was too intent on his chronic problem at the moment, and of too different an upbringing, to appreciate the beauty of the frozen landscape. He sat down, his back to a tree and waited momentarily, he didn’t know why exactly. He had not done anything like this since he was quite young, in childish curiosity before he had learned better control. He hoped he would still have the skill necessary to accomplish the act. He sighed, then unzipped his pants. Even in the frigid air his cock rose stiffly. He quickly settled his hand upon it, both because of the cold and because he had wanted to so badly for quite some time now. He was rewarded with an immediate excitement that caught him so by surprise it caused him to cry out. He flushed with embarrassment and hoped no one had heard. He hadn’t felt quite so foolish in a very long time, not since he walked into a hotel pool while on the communicator and had three lifeguards and four tourists jump in to save him, though he’d only fallen into the shallow end. Did other species think Vulcans weren’t smart enough to stand up rather than drown? He had never seen Amanda laugh so hard as when he had to admit why he had come to the room completely soaked on a clear, dry summer day. She had chastised him for not watching where he was going and for working too hard. Far worse, it was all over the hotel and then all over the media within hours. Luckily, no one had taken a picture of him drenched and trying desperately to avoid the temptation for a full body shake to relieve himself of much of the water. Though he tired of the pool references somehow wedged into too many conversations for several weeks after. A sense of humor seemed quite hostile too often with many species. ---ooOoo--- Jane laid on the tall, flat rock that jutted almost ten feet into the air beside the lake and stared out over the frozen pale blue and white. After brushing off the snow, and shifting back and forth to sun-warmed spots, it wasn’t half bad. From this distance, she could see the differentiation of thickness in the ice. Some parts were too thick so that it might as well have been a pile of snow, but near the edge along this side, it looked quite precarious, only the thinnest of sheets. And with the warming it would start to crack and thin, offering only a dangerous promise of protection at best from the freezing water beneath. She had received too many warnings growing up to trust that surface at all. She wondered about Sarek’s experience in this type of landscape. She hoped he would at least leave the cabin. She fantasized about teaching him to ski on a bunny hill and having him topple atop her and be concerned he’d hurt her. She smiled. There were so many things she would like to teach him of this world. She had never been handed such an incredible opportunity however and felt so lacking in ideas as to how best to take advantage. She had to figure a way to get him to want to spend more time with her. She just knew if he got to know her, he’d see how right they were together. If only she’d been able to slip her hand just a little closer, but her eagle-eyed uncle had been aware of her every move, though in almost the last two hours he had missed most of her innuendo. The ambassador had paused a few times seeming a little surprised, but she was not sure if he just didn’t understand and had decided not to bother asking for an explanation. At one point she realized her uncle hadn’t been listening and she’d asked if the ambassador were warm enough at night and just to come see her if not. That was when she had placed her hand on his thigh and was about to shift it under the suspicious rumple of thick sweater. Unfortunately, Uncle Jim seemed to have noticed and Sarek seemed stunned, likely finally fully registering what she was offering. She had seen older men only look to her face and around her and not at the obvious work she put into her sexy look. She knew, like the others, he had been avoiding looking at her body because it was affecting him. She only needed to shift her hand under the lap full of sweater to prove her affect and make clear her intent. She could please him, she was sure of it. If only her uncle wasn’t hanging onto him so much. Her bitterness welled. Her uncle got everything he wanted, and he hadn’t even mentioned Sarek was here! She felt fury toward him and decided he’d be best to leave behind if he wouldn’t accept her love for Sarek, their rightness for each other. A movement caught her by surprise only about twenty feet away. Sarek! She almost gasped but realized he might hear her and held her mouth shut. He was sitting against a tree looking out at the lake, no his eyes were closed, and…she stared at his lap. Her eyes widened as she noticed his erect penis in his hand. She knew it! He wanted her! He started to fondle it and cried out, then quieted and looked around as if someone might have heard. Jane smiled as he looked in her direction, but not high enough and hadn’t noticed her through the foliage. Most were unaware of this perch, she decided. She had only found it because her hairpin fell out as she was redoing her hair, and she discovered a tunnel likely used by deer. The sun also had crept behind her and was shining toward him. He likely only saw bright snow and shimmering branches in her direction. She settled back for the show, feeling a little guilty but had started to weave a plausible way to improve her odds at landing the ambassador. Her excitement
built as he began
pumping his thick organ with purpose and laying his head back once
again. His eyes closed and his lips opened
and she
saw the puffs of steam as his hot breaths began to accelerate. She must have caused this, she decided. He must be thinking of her! What
if she offered herself to him that
night? She imagined the look on his face
from her touch, his hands groping her body excitedly.
She was halfway home. Her new
home! They would live happily ever after. Her future had never appeared brighter! ---ooOoo---
His testicles felt heavy and soft in his hand, but he could feel them tightening and lifting already. He imagined the hand was the moist orifice he desired, the body beneath him moaning and writhing as he thrust himself into it. He ran his thumb over the head and then along each of the double ridges, then finally between. His back arched and his legs jerked as he cut off another cry just as the sound reached his throat. He pumped harder, desperate now for release, desperate for that feeling he had desired for so long. He felt his balls tighten, he began to shiver as a long, slow groan emerged from him unnoticed in his building excitement. He gasped, groaned and felt his penis pulse. Opened his eyes to see his semen spurt out onto the snow, melting it in steaming streaks, watched the steam erupt from his mouth as he panted and awaited his breath to return. Jane had watched in fascination. And now that the show was over, a teaser to future encounters she presumed, she let her eyes inspect the beautiful organ still in his hands. It was still mostly erect, but had reduced in stiffness and size somewhat. His balls had relaxed and lay upon his zipper. They still appeared quite swollen. She had read on the com boards that Vulcans could have sex many, many times in a row. Perhaps he might continue but for the cold; he was just getting some minimal relief. She had to think that he should be the last person who couldn’t find someone to give him relief. He deserved someone who would give him all the relief he might need, and enjoy it. She smiled at that. Perhaps he might be interested in an all-nighter. She could sneak into his room after everyone was asleep, peel off her robe showing off her naked body and watch the lust take hold of his expression as she offered herself to him. She had seen anatomy pictures of male Vulcans. They were only cadavers however with limp penises. She stared at the double ridges, her first sight of them live. She had read that they flared at climax to seal the cavity and keep the semen where it would more likely impregnate the female. But to see them flare prior to his orgasm was wonderful. They should put a holovid of it on the ComBoards for educational experience. She shouldn’t have to pay someone to hack into the UFP medical school for such info. This
had been the most
informative, interesting and inspiring walk she had ever taken. She realized her biggest obstacle was Uncle
Jim. The Vulcans were on her side
already. McCoy seemed happy on the
sidelines. If she could get James to
back off of Sarek, she’d be home-free. And
she decided that now she had just the necessary
information and
evidence. She adjusted her clothing a
little and slipped quietly back down the rock. There
was enough rustling from the bit of breeze,
cartwheeling leaves
and falling patches of snow from the branches due to the warming that
she
slipped away unnoticed.
Thirty minutes had passed and Kirk had created quite a pile of kindling and was starting to get nervous. Jane could be gone much longer, but a Vulcan would turn into a Popsicle before too much more time passed. Unless they had both found the springs, but he had not mentioned them to the elder Vulcan as yet, and he purposely avoided telling Jane so that she wouldn’t harass them to take her to what could be a very relaxing and beautiful adventure for the four of them, without the rambunctious teenager in tow, that is. McCoy sauntered up, having returned from his and Spock’s circle of the lake. He looked like he was ready for some trouble, so Kirk kept chopping. “I’m sure the neighbors in the next county would like some firewood, too.” The doctor said with too much cheer. “Uh huh,” Kirk mumbled. “You’re taking all of this a might bit seriously, Jim. You want to tell me what’s really going on?” McCoy looked as if he knew. If so, Kirk wished McCoy would let him in on it! “Just chopping.” “And chopping,
and
chopping…” McCoy chuckled.
“Maybe we should’ve had some logs for you to
take out your frustrations on the Kirk stopped. “Just what are you getting at.” McCoy shook his head at that. “She’ll be gone tomorrow morning. You and Sarek will have several days after. And the weather looks to be great for most of our holiday!” “That seems presumptuous.” Kirk was gruff with irritation. He ignored what sounded almost like innuendo, likely unintended. “About Jane, Sarek or the weather?” “All roads seem
to be souring,”
Kirk said and threw the ax at the woodpile that now covered much of the
concrete. It only bounced back and hit
his foot. He kicked it, hard. McCoy raised his eyebrows. “You’re acting like your niece.” Kirk sat down on the porch steps which he realized needed salting; they were getting slippery with ice. McCoy sat down next to him, looking confused. “Jane seems to be having a positive effect on Sarek. Her exuberance and vitality seem to be the spark he needed. He’s sort of been reintroduced into life by the gregariousness and shock value of a teenager.” Kirk considered
this. Could it really be so innocent? Was the uncle really such an ogre to be
trying to judge what might be a simple friendship of very different
beings
offering a new perspective to both. He
had always thought that Sarek would be a good influence on Jane. Had even considered suggesting that she stay
on Vulcan with him for awhile to give her a less superficial
perspective, reevaluate
her priorities and offer her a dose of reality. He smiled at the reality of Sarek’s and most Vulcan’s intense and rigorous lives hitting her like a giant, unnoticed rogue wave. See her tumbling then running home, or becoming the adult he could be proud of if she stuck it out with her intelligence and perseverance her family had yet to fully mine in her. “Have I really been such an ass?” Kirk asked. McCoy smiled. “I don’t think Sarek noticed. But I think he too was hoping to get to know you better.” Kirk stared off
into the
distance and saw Jane heading his way. “See
ya inside,” McCoy said and stepped up into the cabin.
Kirk could see the smoke billowing out of
their chimney; Spock must be stoking it into an inferno after his long
walk in
the cold. He smiled as he realized how
much firewood they’d have now. Always a
silver lining appeared somewhere it seemed. He looked back toward Jane and frowned. Something was certainly up. He tensed, ready for what he had no idea. She looked to be practically swaggering, with an expression of a cat that had found the cream, the whole stock of it. Her coat was pulled tight about her, strange since she should have warmed from her walk to still be that cold. “Hey, Unc,” she shouted, her tone quite disrespectful. “Hey,” he said back, ignoring her disrespect rather than start another argument. “I think we need to talk,” she said quietly. He knew that tone; he had heard it from his own father too many times. Even Sarek used it, but to egg on others into distracting anger. In a word – patronizing. He paused before he swatted down her impetuous arrogance, too curious where it was leading. Her eyes were bright and she looked at him as if he were the spoiled brat, not she. Kirk couldn’t resist a quirk of his eyebrow and held fast to his temper. “You need to give Sarek some space,” she said quietly, as if talking to someone irrational who needed to be reasoned with, an irony in itself. Kirk’s eyebrows shot up at that as he began to truly appreciate the necessity of corporal punishment. “Excuse me?” He had underestimated immensely his niece’s grand view of herself. But where her sudden ultra-confidence came from made him nervous. What could have happened to change her circumstances on one short hike? He felt the old anger and paranoia rearing and batted them down to listen. She had only sat with the ambassador for three short hours. Granted, she had been unusually articulate and sophisticated as if thoroughly practiced at it in front of a mirror (very likely) and had over the years studied just what she needed to make the right impression on exactly him. But still, three hours and one short hike… “I didn’t realize I was crowding him.” Kirk wiped the smug smile off his face as he saw Jane’s eyes tighten in anger. “And I have never known Sarek not to speak for himself. He’s actually quite good at it.” The smug smile again. He saw the anger flash in her eyes again. “I’m 17, not 5, Uncle. I would appreciate some respect!” “Then treat others with it, Jane,” he calmed his anger. “Proceed.” He was starting to feel Vulcan with his constant controlling and reining in of what he really wanted to say and do with the little trollop! He felt immediate guilt at that characterization. Why was he being so harsh? She was only 17, though acting far younger. But she was hardly an adult. Perhaps he had inflated standards because she was a Kirk. Even Sarek would understand that after his expectations of Spock while raising him. “Amanda was only 18 when Sarek met her,” Jane said. Kirk smiled at is niece. Was she trying to compare herself to Amanda? He knew Amanda had multiple ivy-league degrees and was accomplished in a prestigious career already by 18 – a prodigy. He would have hazarded her maturity at mid-thirties, at least, not to mention she was quite sophisticated, comfortable with herself and very cosmopolitan even at that young age. It had not exactly been the Cinderella story the media had painted. And for what Sarek had in experience professionally was averaged out by his inexperience personally. He had been a babe-in-the-woods in many ways from what Amanda had let them in on secretly, still considered a child by most Vulcans at the human equivalent of 22, far from the mature, eminent and experienced middle-aged man he was now. They had taught each other much through the years. “Chronological age can mean very little in regard to some people,” he finally said. She smiled, completely misconstruing what Kirk had meant, which didn’t surprise him. She would hear and see only what fit her view and desires. “He was concerned you would be angry, or hurt. He wants to spend more time with me.” Less with me, Kirk filled in. He felt the equivalent of a punch to the gut. “I’m sorry?” His anger was past simmering. How dare she! Could Sarek really have said that? He couldn’t imagine why, by any stretch of the imagination, he would want to spend more time with Jane instead of him. Sarek was far from superficial. But he was now unbonded, and frustrated, and Jane had been flouncing about him flirting so obviously. It felt like a sick joke. “I told him you’d understand. I mean, look at you and look at me!” She giggled at the same time she let go of her coat, which fell away, almost off her shoulders. Her sweater was mis-buttoned, her breasts almost spilling out, the top button on her pants was missing completely as if yanked off and the flaps hung loose almost to her crotch. He stared at her clothing aghast. She seemed to look at him confused then looked down at her clothes. She blushed furiously and tried to reorder her clothes as she turned away. She seemed scared now. “We didn’t do anything, not really! But he’s been so…and I want to marry him. I couldn’t just push him away.” She put her hand to her mouth and ran for the cabin. Kirk stood rocked by the possibilities. His mind swirled with the images from the dream transposed with Sarek’s constant erections, when he saw the ambassador coming toward the cabin from the same direction that Jane had come. He looked more relaxed than he had since he arrived. Even with the wind blowing Sarek’s coat away and against his sweater, flattening it against him, there was no sign of his erection anymore. Kirk walked up to the top of the stairs, his vision blurring in disillusion and fury. Jane could not have been that good of an actress, could she? She couldn’t have known Sarek was out there unless they saw each other. He couldn’t believe she’d go so far to deceive him. Alternatives fired at him, but he knew what he had to do. This was personal; he would make that very clear in his remedy. Jane didn’t need further humiliation through the courts and media. And Sarek was in too vulnerable a position not to allow Kirk whatever he wished of him in reprisal. His eyes blazed, but Sarek seemed only to notice each step he took in the snow, not meeting Kirk’s eyes – further evidence he had used his niece in a vile way. He would make it right in his own way – old-fashioned but very effective. He was so ready for Step 1. He stood at the top of the stairs, fists clenched, vibrating with adrenaline. Sarek looked up at him finally with an odd, almost blank, expression as he crossed the patio almost sluggishly, then started up the steps as if on auto-pilot. Kirk stood ready and stepped forward just as Sarek reached the top. Sarek glanced up just as Kirk swung, catching the Vulcan by surprise as intended. His right hook caught Sarek in the jaw. Sarek bounced off the handrail then fell backwards. His feet slipped from under him on the icy steps. He grappled with the handrail and had just got his feet beneath him as Kirk caught him with a left in the eye and Sarek flew off the stairs and tumbled into the firewood with a dull ‘thunk’ as his head hit. Sarek appeared dazed as he struggled to right himself. Kirk approached his prey, thrilled with his luck and timing. Surprise then a lack of balance had been against the Vulcan. Now he appeared too dazed by the bad landing to know up from down. Kirk waited as he decided on his coup-de-grace, eyeing different angles and aspects of the downed, struggling Vulcan. And he had it as Sarek spread his legs to push himself up. Kirk slammed what he decided was a well-deserved and direct kick to the Vulcan’s groin. Sarek collapsed on his side with a groan, curling around what must have been excruciating pain. What sounded like a herd came piling down the steps. He heard Jane and McCoy screaming as he lined up another kick for the stomach. His arms were pinioned and he was roughly dragged away by Spock and McCoy as Jane ran to Sarek and tried to comfort him. “What the hell have you done?” McCoy screamed in his ear. “Why don’t you ask Sarek?” Kirk screamed back, realizing he sounded almost hysterical. Spock and McCoy both stared at him as if Janice Lester was back in his body. Why the hell couldn’t he keep a lid on his emotions! All three looked back at Sarek when Jane started screaming. “You’ve killed him! Oh, my God! He didn’t do anything! I just wanted Uncle Jim away from him. I made it all up!” She started howling in misery as Kirk realized what he and Jane had done to Sarek. Kirk held his head in his hands and felt faint with misery and grief. He couldn’t be dead! Then he remembered how Sarek seemed slow to react, likely from the cold, and never defended himself. He remembered Sarek hitting his head in the wood pile. Oh God! He ran to him but Jane attacked him with fury and fists. “I hate you! I hate you!” He shoved her at Spock who held her as he ran to McCoy, terror and misery plain on his face. Sarek lay flat on the snowy concrete pale and unmoving. McCoy was shaking his head after only a quick check. “Nooo!” Kirk screamed. His world felt as if it had collapsed. Surely it was just another nightmare! Sarek was Vulcan, and in good health as far as he knew, just a little weak and tired… “Doctor?” Spock said loudly, obviously anxious now. “He’s alive, Spock, but he’s got some serious injuries.” McCoy didn’t direct this, or even look, at Kirk, who was only intent on breathing again and understanding what had happened. Kirk felt his knees weaken and drop him in relief. Why had he been such an utter fool? After being brought his medikit and giving a few shots, McCoy continued, “I’ve got him stabilized. Let’s get him inside where it’s warm. He’s already in shock.” Spock carried him into the living room where they laid him on the couch. After what seemed a multitude of scans and shots, McCoy leaned back on his haunches and shook his head again. “You deserve exactly what Sarek got,” McCoy said, anger shaking his voice. Kirk nodded, still looking miserable. “Will he be okay?” “He was lucky, to say the least. The cold seemed to slow his system down, as well as pull his testicles out of the most danger from that kick. I seem to have been able to counteract much of the damage before it actualized. You could have ended his chances at further progeny.” Kirk felt nauseous at the thought of living with that. McCoy continued, “His concussion is rather mild, thankfully. That alone could have killed him had he landed on the concrete underneath instead of that pile of wood. So your chopping did have a point. Perhaps God intervened.” Kirk swallowed at the bizarre turn of a pile of wood perhaps saving a life. A huge silver lining he could have never predicted. “His face is another matter,” McCoy smiled. “He won’t be so pretty for awhile – slight fracture to the jaw, fracture to the cheekbone. I’d be more worried about your face though when he wakes up.” Kirk smiled at McCoy’s warming up to him, though he didn’t deserve it. “He didn’t defend himself…” He was still so confused – Sarek was still in his prime though somewhat prematurely gray, and had been in good condition from what he’d seen, at least when last on Vulcan. “I think he’d been out in the cold too long, perhaps he stopped and sat down, which would have made matters worse. I glanced out at him from the window as he approached. He seemed a little confused as to where he was headed, and none-to-steady on his feet. If he’d gotten too cold, his reflexes would have been shot. He would be weak, almost in a fog. I doubt he would have known what was happening when you…attacked him.” “I attacked a
half-conscious
man.” He shook his head at his
stupidity. “He won’t even want to talk
to me. He’ll probably want to leave
immediately.” Kirk sounded beaten. “Not with a concussion. In fact, I will want him awake through the night to make sure his concussion isn’t serious.” McCoy smiled. “That can be your job.” Kirk nodded. “And he’ll be
plenty sore all
over for a few days after. I’d prescribe
the Springs and lots of walking, for which he’ll need someone to be
with him at
all times. Perhaps some massage. Plenty of time to make things right between
you, if you can.” Kirk nodded again. Between him and his teenage niece, he had been the one to destroy what could have been a beautiful holiday. She had certainly acted badly and gotten her due by the traumatizing belief that she had caused Sarek’s death, if even for a few moments. She had crumpled then and he realized how little confidence she really had. Hours later she could still be heard crying in the bathroom she had locked herself into. He had felt pity and love for a niece he’d need to spend far more time helping now. He didn’t know what would come of his own foolishness. He wasn’t a teenager that would be expected more than anything to learn from his foolishness. He was an adult that had almost cost a good man far too much. He still couldn’t figure out why he went off so half-cocked. Maybe Sarek might be able to shed some light on the matter. If he would speak to him at all. Kirk opened the salves McCoy had left him and began to smooth the first over Sarek’s facial bruises, cautious over the just knitted jaw and cheekbone. McCoy and Spock had stripped Sarek once again to check and address his injuries earlier. They had wrapped a robe around him before laying a blanket over him, and Kirk eyed both covers now with apprehension. McCoy had said to smooth the salve regularly onto the bruises, not just those on the face. But to remove the covers in the middle of the living room seemed likely far from what he or Sarek would be comfortable with, especially with Jane still in the house, but he likely had some pretty nasty bruises underneath, and if Kirk could help with any of Sarek’s pain, he should he realized, no matter how uncomfortable it made him personally. He decided that pulling the robe away and pulling the blanket down to his waist shouldn’t shock anyone, but as he did so and glanced over Sarek’s body he felt guilty and far more uncomfortable than he should have. It seemed so intimate for such a dignified and reserved man, especially since before he came to the cabin the day before, Kirk had never seen anything uncovered on the ambassador but his head, neck and hands. Kirk found his eyes drawn to Sarek’s broad chest. The light sweep of dark fur lead a trail to his belly button, then beneath the robe and blanket. Kirk found his eyes following the trail to what lay hidden further down and swallowed at the implication of such. He was drawn to the ambassador, which was understandable, he was an enigmatic, brilliant man he’d had so little chance to get to know. He was the father of his closest friend – another enigma in his own right. He was becoming a damn Vulcanphile like so many others that knew so little about them! He was just being a fool, caught up in the hype and mystique of what was truly unavailable in the way his mind was trying to sway him. He was acting as bad as a collector who merely wanted to have one of every type out there just for the experience and to boast. And a Vulcan male was on every collector’s wish list. Sarek was laying here completely vulnerable and he was uncovering and staring at him unabashedly. He stopped his self-deprecation and focused back on his goal. A streak of mottled grayish green crossed Sarek’s right nipple and traced down diagonally across his side, disappearing underneath. Kirk winced as he remembered Sarek bouncing off the handrail from Kirk’s first blow. He began to spread the salve on, spreading on the darkest patches first, then the lighter as McCoy had described. He noticed the dark gray lighten immediately and the dark green going paler as the salve began to go to work. He had spread down as far as the arm and lifted Sarek’s arm and laid it across his chest. He continued until he had to lift Sarek’s shoulder, slightly rotating his body on the couch, to spread it on underneath. As he laid Sarek back down he noticed that he had studiously avoided the bruised nipple altogether, everything around it had lightened. He shook his head at himself. Was it so important to deny any possible attraction that he had attempted to avoid anything that might be seen as sexual? He strengthened his resolve and began to softly paint the nipple area. As soon as he did, Sarek moaned as if in response. Kirk jerked away, froze, blushed with embarrassment and swallowed. It had been a coincidence, that was all. He let it go at that, though glad to be done with the nipple. He tried to remember the second blow and cringed at the memory. Sarek fell off the stairs, bounced on his buttocks, rolled and slid on his left arm and thigh then slammed into the woodpile. Kirk swallowed. The left arm was an easy fix, but for the rest, he would have to remove the rest of the robe and blanket, and turn him over. He didn’t even want to imagine the bruising from his kick to the groin. McCoy had directed him so matter-of-factly, as if Kirk would have no issue with spreading salve all over every part of another man’s body, especially one he held in so high esteem. Perhaps it was the doctor’s desensitization that caused him not to think that Kirk might have a problem with it. Or perhaps it was more punishment, as in watching for Sarek to come to and staring at his damaged face was simply not enough. Though it wasn’t, he realized. But would he have had the same problem with Spock? Also a very private and dignified Vulcan. He had done all manner of embarrassing first aid on his first officer. Perhaps it was Sarek’s almost regal bearing, or perhaps that Kirk himself had caused the injuries, but he felt he would rather run around the lake in the nude than cover all of the bruised parts of Sarek with salve. What bothered him more was that part of him wanted to rationalize doing it just out of curiosity and titillation? He remembered the curiosity certainly when he had similar things to do with Spock, at least in the beginning, but it felt different somehow, and there had been no titillation with Spock. After finishing the arm, he eyed the rest of the robe and blanket and felt like such a fool. But something had changed since he last looked. He frowned as he noticed the slight lift of the robe and blanket – another erection. He groaned softly and realized he deserved this extra bonus, and tried to see the humorous side of it. He was very thankful that Jane was not given this duty, then a chuckle erupted – very thankful! He peered around the house, which was unusually quiet and pulled the rest of the blanket away, then loosened and pulled the robe from Sarek and tried to ignore the partial erection and wondered how often McCoy had had to deal with such from the many male patients he had treated. He was determined not to touch the penis, though he couldn’t help but stare at it. He had never even seen Spock’s but for quick glances, and the differences made him curious. Though this was not a full erection, the size was impressive. The double ridges added some elegance to the design and reminded him of spoilers on a race car. The color of course was a light bronze with a tint of green which he assumed must darken as it reaches its full width and length. Instead of an oval to round cross-section of a human, it was more oblong, almost a rounded rectangle, giving it an even closer resemblance to a sports car. It was actually quite elegant and attractive and seemed to fit the Vulcan it was attached to. Awakening from his distraction, caused by another man’s penis, he quickly checked all about the areas he could see, besides the groin and was moving back to sit down when his forearm brushed Sarek’s penis. Kirk jumped from it at the same time Sarek mumbled something that sounded like Ja-. He froze again, considering the dark possibilities all over again. He couldn’t stop himself. He started to wonder, what if something had really happened between Sarek and Jane. If it were true and she saw Kirk go ballistic, she might have lied to protect Sarek from any further attack, and to protect his position and reputation, and leave more possibility that they could be together again. It made a lot of sense. He realized that this could be a dangerous line of thought with Sarek still out cold next to him. His eyes grazed over the nude, injured body beneath him. The utter vulnerability of the ambassador should Kirk learn that not only had he used his niece so abominably, but that he had almost gotten away with it as Kirk had been beating himself up and trying to make Sarek feel better. He realized both Sarek and he would be safer if he were to go get either McCoy or Spock this minute, before Sarek might mumble anything else that could likely damn him. He could have misheard, he argued. And he couldn’t help but wonder if he brushed Sarek’s penis again, if he might get a similar, if not, predictable response as the name of one’s lover or desired. But just because Sarek might say her name, didn’t mean they had had any sexual contact. But it would surely lend evidence, which he could question Sarek directly on. And if Sarek was just interested in Jane, it would at least raise a warning to keep them apart and give him a little insight into the elder Vulcan, that perhaps he might not be someone he might want to associate with, if he could want such a childish and irresponsible 17-year-old at his age. Surely something to think about. Kirk felt a lump in his throat at the possibility. For only a difference of one year, there was a world of difference between him and Amanda then, and his possible pursuit of Jane now. She was still such a child in every way but the physical. He stared at the still half-erect penis, arguments each way battling within him. He was Jane’s uncle; he should be made aware of something with the possibility of upending her life. Her parents should know. He also worried that Sarek might be completely innocent and Kirk would live with the doubt, possibly end up alienating him from what might be several important connections at the worst time possible for the ambassador. He had to know. He eyed Sarek’s penis, feeling incredibly guilty, wishing he hadn’t brushed up against it in the first place, but maybe it was fate, maybe there was some point to all of this? And what if Sarek woke up? He closed his eyes as his heart hammered. He was going to do it. He had to do it to set things right. This seemed the linchpin to so much that might come of it. He reached past the penis, exactly as he had before. Better to make it look like an accident, in case someone saw, or Sarek woke up. He pulled his arm, his heart thudding in fear of being caught. Of hearing Jane’s name, or hearing nothing more and always wondering. His arm made a light contact with the penis, and Sarek moaned again but said nothing. Kirk cursed under his breath. He reached again. He let his arm graze the penis for a longer moment, but Sarek only turned his head. Kirk reached his hand close while watching Sarek’s face to make sure he wouldn’t suddenly be watching back. God, he couldn’t imagine what he would say, if he suddenly awakened at this very inopportune moment. Then he suddenly realized what a fool he had been as he noticed the trace of grey on the underside of the penis and realized he had the perfect reason to be touching Sarek so intimately, whether he woke up or someone walked in. He reached for the salve, relieved to have the excuse yet tense at the contact he would need to make. At least there were dual purposes to it so he wouldn’t wonder if he was exploiting Sarek merely to cop a feel. He moved closer. To spread Sarek’s legs so that he could better see the bruising and do it right he pulled a footstool to balance one leg upon. Sarek’s erection had actually grown so that it almost stood straight up. This would be a very bad time for Jane to walk out, he couldn’t help but think, and couldn’t keep from smiling. As quickly, he thought of his second objective and felt the churning in his stomach. What if he called out Jane’s name as he was laid out for Kirk so? Could he loose it again, even though Sarek may have only had sexual thoughts about Jane and committed no acts? He pushed the confused arguments from his head; he might have very limited time and his inner turmoil was not lessening. He had every reason to do it, so he took up some salve and focused on the darkest bruises on the testicles as his heart pounded. Sarek jerked at the touch and Kirk softened his touch to strokes a lover might give. He had caused this, and it was likely undeserved brutality. The least Kirk could do was try to decrease his pain. He stroked all over the testicles for good measure and covered the inner thighs. He noticed the testicles tightening and lifting and tried to ignore Sarek’s obvious excitement building, it couldn’t be helped really, any male would react this way to his testicles being basically fondled. He lastly eyed the now fully erect penis with a mixture of feelings and confusion and started to warm the salve as he focused his thoughts on the dark splotch of where his knee had contacted the penis itself. He felt torn between guilt if Sarek had been wholly innocent and almost delight if he had taken advantage of Jane, and seemingly every measure in between. He needed to know, desperately now. The ambiguity of how to view Sarek was already confounding him, his mind flip-flopping in his view of him as innocent or threat. He had to believe that it would drive him to distraction soon, and later perhaps worse. It was better to know and deal with the consequences. So he decided he would go further than necessary and if he had to explain later he’d figure a way out. It was as if they were another’s hands as they reached for Sarek’s penis. He couldn’t believe he was doing this and as he rested his hands on the backside of the organ he felt as if an electric shock jolted through him as he felt it jerk in response. He laid his hand still for a moment and resolved to coat the area liberally where it needed it first while he watched Sarek’s face. The idea of his eyes trained on him, catching Kirk fondling his penis almost made him stop. But he forced himself to continue. His first thought was that if felt like satin wrapped about steel. Sarek moaned again and gave the slightest thrust, almost a jerk along his hand. Kirk wrapped his salved thumb around the front and Sarek thrust fully now and gasped. Kirk jumped and turned back toward the face, but the eyes were still closed. On the next stroke, Sarek mumbled again, but unintelligibly, then he groaned and mumbled “James” very clearly. Kirk rocketed to his feet, almost forgetting to let go of Sarek, his eyes wide, his face heating so that it must be bright red. He stumbled as he stared at Sarek’s face, assuming he’d been caught. But Sarek’s eyes were closed. “Sir?” Kirk said as normally as he could, quietly, to determine if he had awakened to see Kirk masturbating him. But Sarek just moaned and pressed his penis into the air as if in protest of the mysterious hand leaving, then mumbled and quieted, as if it had only been a dream. Kirk felt his world turn over then back again. Sarek had called out his name, likely twice. Sarek had had erections since he had come to visit at least, not since Jane’s arrival. Kirk sat back down without thinking and realized he sat between Sarek’s spread legs. Next to his full erection and felt quite stupid, quite shocked, and even guiltier than he felt before. Could Sarek really be attracted, hell lusting, after him? So many things fell into place then. Why Sarek came to the cabin and also why he felt reticent about being there. Sarek seeming to stick close to him – even Jane had noticed and been jealous. The connection McCoy kept referring to. He saw Sarek shiver and realized he’d left him completely uncovered, which would be quite cold for a Vulcan. He hurriedly retied his robe over his erection and pulled the blanket over him and tucked it about his neck. And realized something that he often took for granted, but for the timing. He had a raging hard-on himself! He then remembered his masturbation material in the shower, finally connected them and felt blindsided. Could he really want Sarek in that way, for more than a curiosity lay? Appreciating another man’s attractiveness and sexiness was one thing, but wanting an affair, was quite another! And he realized he wanted more. Even before the ambassador had arrived, he had wanted to get to know him, fill a void for him. Felt more concern for Sarek and his well-being than he should have. Had kept near him and resented Sarek’s attentions to his niece. God, he had been acting like a jealous fool! That had been the intense anger he hadn’t been able to control directed at both Sarek and his niece! He stared at the fire, stunned by the revelation. God, there was likely no possible positive outcome to this ridiculous situation. They could both want a relationship and there were so many reasons why they shouldn’t or couldn’t. Sarek was the equivalent of royalty and more heirs would likely be expected. And Kirk had never heard of Vulcan males bonding, and being human certainly wouldn’t be in his favor. And their careers – Sarek had a reputation to protect among the Federation and Vulcan, as did Kirk. And Sarek was a conservative man, to put it mildly. And he was the father of his closest friend. He couldn’t lose Spock again. There were so many avenues that could end even the possibility. Why let his mind even go there? Sarek had likely realized this and tried his best to subdue his desires. But he had been still recovering from the many losses he had endured to be able to meditate. If he had not been grieving, Kirk would not likely have found out the Vulcan’s feelings at all. Once Sarek was more recovered, he would likely be able to hide it for the rest of his days. Kirk felt saddened by the circumstances. But as a ship Captain, he had suffered many disappointments and had to turn from many things he wanted. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t at least test his theories. He was a Kirk after all… But Sarek was in no condition for argument, agreement or even conversation. He imagined Sarek fighting his way through the layers of consciousness as he shifted and fidgeted. He wondered what the Vulcan’s consciousness would bring. ---ooOoo--- “James?” Sarek mumbled again, but the tone of a question alerted Kirk. He turned to see Sarek staring at him. “Are you well?” the Vulcan asked. Kirk felt shock that Sarek should be concerned about him. He also felt a lump in his throat at how compassionate that was after what he’d done. Sarek must have seen the bewilderment and then fortitude reflected on his face. “How could you even care, sir?” Kirk asked. “Do you remember anything?” Sarek looked thoughtful. “I was coming toward the cabin. I was exhausted and my vision clouded. Each step took much effort. I was dizzy.” Kirk looked away, embarrassed at how in distress Sarek must have been even before… “Then you were there, and…you hit me…” Sarek looked very confused at that and as if he had just realized what had happened. “I’m sorry, very sorry, sir. I’m embarrassed even to tell you how that came to be.” “I should leave,” Sarek said, seeming disconcerted, almost embarrassed. “You’re angry, I don’t blame you,” Kirk said, feeling horrified again, as if it had just happened. Sarek stared. “I am not angry, but I do not seem to be ‘fitting in’. Do not feel badly. You have Spock, McCoy and Jane here.” Kirk couldn’t help but snort. “Jane will be leaving at first light. She created this… I figured something would happen, but…” Sarek looked adrift. “I had thought this was between us. Perhaps for all you have lost.” Kirk’s eyebrows rose. “God no! I don’t blame you, sir. I have no problem whatsoever with you. It is you who should have a problem with me, and Jane.” Sarek tried to sit up and grimaced. “Let me help you, sir. I still need to apply salve to much of your…backside.” Kirk flushed with embarrassment. Sarek’s eyes glittered with amusement. “Indeed. Whatever you have done, James, it certainly was…effective. I remember three Klingons that left me better off.” Kirk swallowed. Sarek wasn’t angry yet, but perhaps he would be. “You only remember me hitting you atop the steps?” Sarek looked chagrinned. “Actually I remember you hit me again after that.” “Ever the gentleman,” Kirk said, and felt nervous at Sarek’s reaction to the rest and stalled by clearing his throat. “I also kicked you, when you were down.” Sarek nodded and looked amused. “Isn’t that considered bad form, James?” Kirk decided to have it all out. “Not as bad form as where I kicked you…sir.” “I think I’ve deduced that.” Kirk winced as Sarek seemed to be having trouble sitting comfortably. Kirk decided to end some of the pain before Sarek understood all that had happened and forbade even his proximity. “I could salve what I hadn’t gotten to yet.” It was little consolation, and Kirk felt quite stupid offering. “I doubt the salve could reach this ache,” Sarek said, and still looked to be trying to lighten the mood. Kirk brightened. “McCoy said I could give you something for that as soon as you regained consciousness.” He stood up and grabbed the hypo off the table. Sarek frowned at it. “I can simply use a healing trance.” “Actually, you can’t, sir.” Sarek looked up at that. “You have a concussion,” Kirk explained, then sobered as he readied for Sarek’s response to more bad news. “You need to stay up all night, sir. Precautions for the concussion.” “It is late, is it not? Should not you try to rest?” “No,” Kirk said with a half smile. “I will be making sure you don’t fall asleep.” He checked the hypo settings and pressed it against Sarek’s shoulder after a quick nod of consent from the Vulcan. His eyes closed momentarily and his eyes looked a bit less focused after. “I think then that I shall have a similar job as you,” Sarek said, his eyes twinkling. “And you are sure, after all of this trouble, you would not rather have an embassy driver retrieve me?” “You have been the victim, sir. And a guest I have been looking forward to entertaining.” He was concerned that Sarek might withdraw at that last since, even for a Vulcan, he was a very private man who rarely said any more than necessary, and revealed even less if he could get away with it, which he had the uncanny ability to do quite often. Sarek looked
surprised at
that. “Well, one can at least say that
it hasn’t been uninteresting, but we shall have many hours to fill, and
I am
not your customary type of…overnight guest. I
am at a loss to recommend any activities to keep
us…awake.” Sarek did not meet his eyes, which was odd. Kirk would have liked to read what might be there to figure how to interpret what sounded a too close to innuendo. The idea that Sarek might be sexually attracted to him was so intriguing that it was hard to concentrate on anything else. Hard, in fact, not to bring it up point blank and clear the air, except that he would have to explain how he knew, and he didn’t know if Sarek would ever do anything but reject what he would likely consider from Kirk a superficial and brief affair. And Kirk hardly knew the man well enough to even determine what he might want of Sarek if that door was opened, other than sex, that is. And then there was the fact that he had just doped him up with a substance that could have lowered his inhibitions… Kirk decided to take another chance with sincerity. “What I would enjoy most would be getting to know you better, sir.” He offered his killer sexy smile. Two could pay the innuendo game. “By means of conversation, I presume.” Kirk’s eyebrows rose at that and he could not resist the temptation to trap Sarek at his own game. He gave his best innocent look. “How else?” Sarek looked surprised, and then discomforted that Kirk actually pursued what was prudent to leave unsaid. “That would be agreeable, depending on the subject, of course.” Kirk smiled at Sarek. “I hadn’t meant that last as rhetorical, sir.” Sarek blinked at that, and a cool glint hardened in his eyes. Kirk didn’t think the ambassador would back down from a challenge. He seemed to know that Kirk was up to something. Chicken was what Kirk would call it, and he decided that they would likely both be good at it due to their professions. And it would certainly spice up the evening. Sarek’s pride, arrogance, dominating nature and, most of all, his curiosity might be exploited to get them both where they might like to be, leading Kirk to knowing Sarek better than he could have any other way. He could see Sarek resign himself to Kirk’s wily and perseverant quest. The Vulcan looked at Kirk in a new light now. “You humans also interpret knowing in another, more intimate, way. Forgive my forward supposition, but your language is often…ambiguous.” And you love playing with those ambiguities. “Carnal knowledge, yes. To know biblically.” Kirk smiled. “I have always been rather open-minded, explored frequently, if that was your implication. I haven’t changed…if that should be of interest.” Kirk let his eyes trace Sarek’s form briefly and met the Vulcan’s eyes without wavering. Kirk got the impression that Sarek did not expect something so direct. He looked a little miffed that Kirk didn’t, as expected, even clarify that he’d meant conversation instead of corporal exploration, though it had still been teasing and a bit of sparring on Sarek’s part. Sarek blinked at his quandary, then redirected. “I have yet to hear an explanation of why you committed violence upon me.” His tone was soft, curious, not accusatory. Kirk could not help but blush; the explanation would be quite embarrassing. Sarek backed off. “We can postpone the explanation if…” “No!” Kirk was vehement. “It is just embarrassing.” “Perhaps we might trade discomforts, then. I sense that you have questions of me?” Kirk smiled at Sarek’s generosity, trading information he had every right to keep private for information he should rightly and hotly have demanded immediately of Kirk. He had to wonder at Sarek’s unusual mellow cooperativeness. It was as if he wanted Kirk to know him better, to let Kirk in on his secret perhaps? Or was the unusual, almost dreamlike, surroundings and lateness of the hour, the quiet seeming privacy around them that left it feeling less of a risk, as if they might just wake up. Or, again, perhaps it was the drug… He would think that McCoy would have warned him about such, but then McCoy had always felt that Vulcan privacy and reticence caused too much left unsaid when so much could be dissolved by free-flowing discussion. That doctor could be quite sneaky with his potions. Kirk couldn’t begin to determine why Sarek was being so cooperative, and decided it might be best not to question the gift and opportunity. “I have many questions,” Kirk admitted, “but I don’t want you to feel you must answer any of them.” A little of his niece’s preemptive soft-peddling might help loosen Sarek’s tongue even more, and providing an out for Sarek to appease his own conscience. He couldn’t help but feel he was actually gaining by an assault, which was absurd and only made him feel worse. Sarek watched Kirk for a moment. “It is hard to judge each until asked, but you have more right than most to request answers of me.” He took a deep breath and looked Kirk straight in the eye. “I did request that you meld with me not long ago, which is far more intimate an act than I had a right to ask of you.” More intimate than sex, Kirk had heard. So in essence, he had already been intimate with this Vulcan, as far as Sarek was concerned. But that had been for a very good reason. He wondered if Sarek was able to glean much more from him than he from Sarek who was trained in the mental arts, and realized he might never know the depth of Sarek’s knowledge of him gleaned from the meld. He realized that this might be the perfect opportunity to ask. Kirk felt a little adrift in his strategy, but pushed forward with the confidence that it would come to him. At least Sarek was talking instead of beating the crap out of him in return. “I sensed that you held back considerably. I remember feeling a gentle and subtly-directed search with concern for me ever-present.” He had always wanted to show him appreciation for that effort and compassion. “Did you pick up as much from me as I did from you?” Sarek looked saddened. Kirk couldn’t fathom why. He looked hard yet thoughtfully at Kirk. “Since you are human, I felt secure not shielding from you. There would be little specifically you could glean from me and I believed it only fair that you should also gain some understanding of me. I avoided as much as I was able. It is hard for me to compare since I know little of what you acquired of me.” Sarek seemed to take a deep breath again, as if he needed to steel himself. “Did my son…Sybok…did he force a meld on you?” “No,” Kirk said simply, glad to provide Sarek at least that solace. But it led conveniently into his next question. “I couldn’t help but wonder about that first marriage. I had never known you were married before.” Sarek looked away suddenly. “Many did not. I was relatively unknown to outworlders then, but for physicists. My father was ambassador, but protected his children’s privacy as best he could. A simpler task on Vulcan than on most other planets. I have not talked of it to anyone but Amanda, and then rarely.” “I understand,” Kirk said, feeling disappointment swell. For some reason he had the feeling that it might lead to knowing Sarek better, to seeing a different side of him. “Perhaps you are one that might benefit from such information, however.” Kirk couldn’t figure that comment, but felt excited that he might hear about something that seemed sealed and hidden away, outside of Vulcan, at least. “I was quite young and inexperienced, and likely…spoiled…by the freedoms and opportunities afforded by my parents.” Sarek swallowed and looked somewhat embarrassed. “T’Rhel was quite beautiful, and more important to me – brilliant and a powerful telepath like Sybok, but also wielded much power in a significantly influential clan.” Kirk couldn’t help but wonder where this was leading. “I felt honored to be aligned with her, and awed by her. She was older, almost as old as my parents in fact, and far more experienced than me, and being female of such rank in a matriarchy, had significant power over me…in every way.” While intriguing, Kirk couldn’t imagine that for the logical Vulcans, any of this would have made any difference. “Our marriage would keep the two controlling clans aligned rather than at odds, a common practice to keep cooperation and peace assured on our planet.” Sarek took another breath and swallowed. Kirk was fascinated; he had never seen Sarek struggle so. “But her enmity for my clan my father had hoped to dissipate through familiarity and common goals was merely refocused upon me instead.” Kirk frowned. “But what could she do to you?” Sarek’s eyebrows rose at that. “I was hers as far as the law was concerned. Her property. As she was mine. But as a recent addition to an unfamiliar clan and therefore with no alliances and little power afforded me but what she might grant, I had few rights and no privileges.” Kirk’s mouth dropped open. “But surely the law protected you, at least as a citizen of Vulcan if nothing more.” Sarek shook his head slightly. “Few would risk siding against her and I was kept within their compound; no one could know if anything untoward should happen.” “But your work, your schooling…surely you could confide in others?” “T’Rhel ended both immediately upon our marriage. My purpose was to provide seed for an heir of the two families combined, so to protect Vulcan as a whole. Surely a worthy and legitimate reason for curtailing my outside activities as well as limiting risks to my continued existence.” His tone reverberated with resentment though his face did not betray it. “And your parents allowed this?” “Up until that time, her behavior had been quite normal. There had been no reason to believe harm might befall me. She rationalized it as a tool to curtail my youthful spirit and arrogance, to enforce my humility and obedience to Vulcan. She argued that it would better me, as a Vulcan.” “What happened?” Kirk felt vehemence at some of the injustices he had seen allowed on Vulcan already. For such a peace-abiding planet, it was far from peaceful, cooperative or gentle. At times the constrained passions felt more like a planet continually on the brink of war. Spock’s gentle nature and reticence for violence had given him quite a skewed impression. Vulcans were like tigers under trainers, with the ease and ability to kill at any moment and every moment choosing not to. It often seemed a razor-edged existence. Sarek paused so long Kirk wondered if he would continue. “I do not know if I should continue this…” But he seemed to push forward. “I was told that I should consider it a privilege to be allowed to leave her bed chamber, and that other than for my sole purpose of impregnating her, I should consider myself a…piece of admired sculpture allowed to remain covered by her whim.” Sarek’s voice tightened in anger. He paused and then his voice smoothed back into the calm, melodic usual, but he no longer met Kirk’s eye. “She dressed me in finery and paraded me in front of potential business partners, seeming to imply that I was another asset to bargain over in her trade negotiations with other planets.” My physical attributes seemed their only interest; I was never related to as if anything else would have been relevant.” Kirk’s jaw dropped open. “You don’t mean…favors?” Somehow Kirk doubted that Sarek would reveal whether or not he was ever forced to follow through on the offer. “I was fully dependant upon her choices and decisions as to my disposition. After she became pregnant and Sybok survived the first precarious years, she had even less need of me and little to lose, if not much to gain, should harm befall me. Any property of mine would become hers and she would be free to bond with another. I think she enjoyed keeping me as more a servant, almost a pet, knowing how much I preferred my freedom.” Kirk was aghast. “How long did the marriage last?” “Nine years, until her sudden death, which freed me.” Sarek seemed to have difficulty meeting Kirk’s eyes still. “Perhaps it makes more sense that I spent so much time on Earth after, and why I married a Terran. I am not so simplistic that I judge all Vulcan females by T’Rhel, but there would always be a chance of another difficult marriage. Though it may appear otherwise, the female has far more power than the male on Vulcan, especially in a bonded pair. And though, in public, it may have appeared quite the opposite between Amanda and myself, we were fairly equal when out of the public eye.” Sarek took a deep breath. “It should also explain why I would prefer not to remarry. Another Vulcan would be chosen for me by T’Pau. I cannot imagine what it would have been like if T’Rhel had not died so early and so suddenly. Or if another similarly difficult marriage were to be forced upon me.” Sarek looked saddened. “It might also explain my overprotectiveness and control in raising Spock. I was not allowed to know my first son, until far too late. When I pressured T’Rhel to allow me involvement in raising Sybok, she made it clear that I would not survive my efforts to see him. I realized she considered my death a mere inconvenience and had no qualms at following through with her threat when I had need of her again. It is a Vulcan wife’s right not to service a husband in need.” Sarek’s past had certainly explained a lot. A feeling of such powerlessness would certainly push him to an opposite extreme. It is a wonder he kept fairly even-keeled and compassionate on his rebound from such imprisonment and degradation. Kirk was now quite sympathetic toward this Vulcan and wondered how the father’s relationship with his son would change should Sarek reveal it to him. He had little doubt that Sarek had never told either of his son’s the full story of his previous marriage. It would likely warm Spock’s view of him, allow for a fuller understanding of, and sympathy for, him as well as give them far more in common. Sarek’s voice had softened and he seemed lost back in that time of compliance and humility. “I think perhaps it is your turn.” Kirk was so
shaken he had to
remember what he had promised, and then blushed. “I
hope that my explanation doesn’t end our
time spent together.” Sarek cocked his head at that. “Where exactly would I go, James?” The question seemed to imply more than his concussion, the frigid weather and the late hour, but the true meaning felt too tender and vulnerable to pursue as Sarek looked into the middle distance. Kirk shook his head and refocused. “I meant that I am grateful for the time spent with you.” His face heated at the admission and he noticed Sarek looked surprised at that. “I want this to continue.” “There is little you could say that could curtail our sharing. It would be a long night otherwise I should think.” Kirk seemed a little confused still by Sarek’s so-cooperative attitude. “You are generally very reserved and private, sir.” “Everyone needs confidants. I have shared much with Amanda and few others, that is true. But I feel an…alliance…with you, especially after the meld. I think I may have judged you harshly prior to that. Not that I did not respect your skills and accomplishments, but I had thought you superficial and egocentric.” Kirk thought that ironic since he thought of himself as somewhat superficial and egocentric. “I hope you don’t discover that I truly am.” Sarek shook his head. “There was such an undercurrent of sincerity and compassion in your mind. It surprised me with its depth. I think a veneer of bravado has helped you become a successful ship’s captain as my veneer of nonemotion has helped me as a diplomat.” Kirk felt as if he had the wind knocked out of him. “Thank you, sir.” He still had to wonder how much of Sarek’s seeming allegiance was due to the reputed Vulcan loyalty instead of reality, but he would take it just the same. A supporter in Sarek would be a bulwark of immense proportions, and a step toward at least friendship. “I only state facts, James. No gratitude is necessary. But we were discussing what happened earlier…” Kirk cleared his throat and hoped the next few minutes would not destroy their budding relationship, along with, possibly, his career. Sarek had just placed much trust in him with what he had revealed. Making a man feel the fool would be bad enough, but to make a powerful Vulcan feel the fool, just what might that bring? “I think both my niece and I were jealous of your time, sir.” Sarek blinked at that. “That still does not explain what occurred.” “My niece decided to cut me out of the triangle, as she saw it, by leading me to believe you wanted to spend more time with her.” “But I did,” Sarek said, “just as I wanted to spend more time with you. Surely there would have been enough time for both.” It did sound that simple and adult. Unfortunately, neither Jane nor he rose to the occasion. At least Jane could claim the defense of youth for her immaturity. Kirk smiled at that. “I’m sending her home in the morning.” “That is your decision, and I cannot begin to understand the reason or dynamics as I know little of what occurred then or before to judge such.” Sarek looked more confused then ever. “I am surely missing something important.” “She imagined herself your next wife, but for my meddling.” The look of astonishment and bewilderment was so clear on Sarek’s face before he realized it that Kirk almost laughed. “I don’t understand.” He was shaking his head now, so uncharacteristic that Kirk couldn’t help but stare. “We are barely acquaintances. She is a child.” Sarek’s voice still revealed his utter confusion at these strange humans. Kirk felt relief wash over him. Sarek’s utter lack of understanding allowing a clear emotional response did more to help his confidence and belief in Sarek than anything. His instincts had always been dead-on. Why hadn’t he listened to them? “What could she have done to incite you so?” Here Kirk felt like a worm and was most concerned now with Sarek changing his opinion of him. “She is quite a good actress, knew certain things that I hadn’t thought she should, and there were other factors, but she led me to believe that you…and she…” Sarek still looked lost. “…were intimate.” Kirk closed his eyes at that, knowing how base and disloyal it sounded.. Kirk opened his eyes to see that Sarek had paled and was staring at the fire. Now he had done it, but he had had no choice but honesty for both their sakes and futures. They were both men of integrity and could do, and deserved, no less. Kirk continued, “It was foolish, and it made no sense that I even thought it possible for a moment, but…” Sarek looked angry finally. “You mentioned other factors.” His voice and eyes were cold. Kirk feared that he would no longer hear that warmth and see that humor again. He had hurt Sarek deeply by having no faith in his character. “You were so much more…relaxed…when you came back.” It was likely obvious to Sarek what he meant. Sarek flushed then his lips tightened and his eyes closed. “And?” he demanded. “I was quite jealous, and a jealous human’s mind follows the oddest logic, almost an…insanity.” He continued, hoping to dig his way out. Sarek had been married to a human. He had to have suffered the same at Amanda’s hand at some point. “It made no sense, and I had thought it didn’t sound like something you would ever do, but I couldn’t seem to think clearly. I think I felt all of this anger caused by jealousy and thought it a reaction to my anxiety of you and her…” He couldn’t finish so he just shook his head. “My instincts have always been quite accurate, but I think I misinterpreted…” Kirk tensed as Sarek turned and stared at him. His expression warmed. “Amanda once slammed a heavy wood door in my face and, unintentionally, broke my nose because she had thought I had sexual relations with an old Harvard rival of hers. That was early in our marriage and I had thought we would divorce. Then, almost immediately, she begged me to forgive her. It was very confusing, but the rationale sounded just like yours.” “Ouch,” Kirk said, imagining the pain of a broken nose, let alone by your own wife’s hand. “Your niece has an exuberance that reminds me of Amanda. But she was quite aggressive and I was not quite sure how to handle her due to her youth, insecurity and the trauma she had endured with her parents.” Sarek looked up at Kirk suddenly. “Perhaps she was not entirely truthful in that either?” Kirk shook his head and smiled at Sarek’s view of her as so angelic and fragile. Sarek continued, “I had thought only to provide a calm and supportive role model. It became complicated by her hand upon my thigh, and the images in her mind that I had difficulty blocking.” Kirk knew exactly what those images likely were; Sarek must have felt shock at such from a mere “child”. “I hope that you will still consider being a role model for her. I think that you would be very effective. She admires and respects you.” “Her actions have not dissuaded me. She seems to have a positive effect upon me also. I think less on what I have lost and more on what I might still experience in life.” Sarek’s jaw tightened and he turned away slightly. “Amanda and I lost a daughter when Spock was very young. I doubt he remembers her very clearly. It was then that we learned that there would be no more children for us. Perhaps I see your niece as what my daughter might have been at her age.” Kirk was shocked at another family secret and saddened for Sarek. It made it all the more tragic that Spock was his only child, after the first was stolen and another lost. “I would think she could only benefit by your involvement.” “My son likely would disagree with you.” Sarek’s eyes alit with his dry humor again. “I think Spock’s duel heritage was quite difficult on the both of you, and he is still even now considered an adolescent by Vulcan standards, isn’t he? Sometimes our view of our parents is quite twisted then.” “I thank you for your faith in me now,” Sarek said. “I hope it is not misplaced. I feel so at a loss still. I do not know from one day to the next what to expect.” “I think your relationship with your son will only grow stronger.” Sarek’s face tightened and his eyes glimmered as he quickly looked away. “Forgive me.” “There is nothing to forgive, Sarek. You have been through so much, and it is only natural that you be more focused on what you have left.” “He is all that I have left, yes.” “Not all,” Kirk corrected. “I think that should you allow it, there are many more friends around you. Many think much of you and enjoy your company. They likely would only need an invitation. You’ve got the three of us, at least.” “That might not be for the best,” Sarek shifted and grimaced. Kirk had to wonder if he was shifting to hide his seemingly almost perpetual erection and felt irritated that Sarek might feel the need to separate himself from their threesome because of his possible desire for Kirk. It just seemed so resolute and unfair. He had to wonder if Sarek might reconsider the panoply of difficulties if he realized that Kirk had similar desires? After all, he had chosen to marry a human, which couldn’t have been easy to justify or explain back home, and it had worked out well. Sarek turned toward him rather suddenly. “There is something I don’t understand.” Kirk looked up at that. “Yes?” “Jealousy, as I understand it, has a component beyond the platonic, involving rivals for gain or some romantic underpinning.” Kirk froze. He swallowed as he realized that Sarek might have caught on already. It would be a relief to have the air cleared, but at the same time might bring the rejection and embarrassment Kirk expected and feared as if he were back in high school. He felt his cheeks heat at the thought of Sarek glibly tossing the possibility of a relationship between them aside and the sudden realization of how that would hurt. Or Sarek being angry at the timing and presumptuousness of it. Or his feeling manipulated when Kirk had actually just realized his feelings, confused as they still were. “It could be that I am misunderstanding all of this,” Sarek said. “Vulcan males commonly feel possessive, but that is an instinct for survival. Should the mate be taken away, the male will surely die a long, agonizing death. And they are also usually dominant, instinctually to keep control and therefore possession of their mate, again for reasons of survival. There may be something of human biology or psychology that I am unaware of.” Sarek turned toward Kirk. “Uh.” Kirk felt so utterly inarticulate and foolish. “To be honest, sir, there are some realizations that I’ve had in the last hours that I do not fully comprehend, but I would have to agree with your assumption.” That had sounded rather like awkward and cowardly double-talk, but Sarek seemed to have unraveled its meaning as he appeared a bit surprised and stared silently as if at a loss for words. “You believe I am…a rival?” There was the slightest trace of hurt in the tone and his expression appeared concerned and confused. Kirk was tempted to agree just to avoid the more embarrassing and riskier option. He was curious as to why Sarek would choose that above a romantic interest. Likely he based it on Kirk’s history of womanizing and there similar type of career.. “No,” Kirk said more quietly than he’d meant to. He looked up at Sarek. First, Sarek
seemed frozen, as
if in shock, though Kirk knew that a Vulcan’s thought processes were
far faster
than a human’s, and that would have realized what that left before Kirk
could
have looked up at him. Then, for the
first time, Kirk saw Sarek flustered. He
looked at Kirk then away, he started to say something then his mouth
snapped
shut. He looked tense and almost
bewildered. Kirk had heard many instances of Sarek getting propositioned by all sorts, even some of his own lovers had admitted to going after the Vulcan Ambassador. So it couldn’t have been inexperience. Perhaps it was someone so close to him, and to his son, felt too awkward a position, that he was not sure how to deal with this particular set of bizarre circumstances. Kirk decided to save him. “I should never have told you this. I’ve put you in too awkward a situation. I don’t expect anything of it. I just hope we can put this behind us and act as if it had never been mentioned.” “But it has,” Sarek said, looking even more troubled. Kirk swallowed. “Yes. I’m sorry.” Sarek looked him in the eye and seemed to have come to some level of ease, though he didn’t look any happier about it. “Perhaps it is the curiosity that is common toward such an insular and controlled race as mine. I have come across this quite often in my travels, this need to experience many…flavors.” Sarek sounded quite accepting and tolerant of the foible, no accusation colored his tone. Still, Kirk felt anger at what sounded like being characterized a collector. “It couldn’t be that any of your admirers besides Amanda had any more substance than that.” His sarcasm was heavy and his anger obvious before he realized who he was talking to. “I’m sorry, Ambassador. I assumed insult where likely you meant none.” “I did not,” Sarek said calmly. “But I apologize for not considering how my response might have sounded. My diplomatic skills seem to have evaporated with the cold.” “Or perhaps with my presence,” Kirk said before he had thought through its effect. Had he pushed too far? He looked up at Sarek, who stared back a little coolly. Kirk quickly revised his comment. “Perhaps each of us is affecting the other more than we realize.” Sarek watched him, unreadable. “Is it allowed that I take a walk?” He seemed tense again and Kirk thought it odd that he didn’t even respond to that last. “Outside?” Kirk felt surprise – it was dark and cold, and Sarek might have difficulty even navigating out of the house. Did he just want to get away from ‘the annoying human’? He seemed almost embarrassed. “At times I tend to feel uncomfortable confined so.” Claustrophobia, Kirk realized, but knew he would embarrass Sarek if he mentioned such a neurosis that one would imagine a Vulcan would be able to control. But then there were other things he hadn’t been able to control either. “I feel the same way!” Kirk offered diplomatically. “I would have to escort you.” He watched for Sarek’s reaction. “You can not be less comfortable out in the cold than I, certainly.” His warmth and humor were back. Sarek looked down at himself. “Perhaps clothing might make the journey more feasible.” Kirk smiled and retrieved Sarek’s clothes. Together they pulled Sarek up onto his feet, his erection for once gone. Kirk had to imagine Sarek was working his controls overtime for this few moments, and that it was only a very temporary resolution. He seemed stable for only a moment however and started to lean toward the couch. Kirk grabbed Sarek from behind as he started to fold forward and both unceremoniously ended in a pile atop the couch, Kirk lay folded over the naked ambassador in a most erotic pose. Sarek made a suspicious choking sound that might have been a guffaw at the ridiculous situation and how it must look. Kirk could not help but chuckle even as he felt himself harden as he felt his groin press into Sarek’s buttocks and his arms wrapped about Sarek’s warm chest and abdomen. They couldn’t have tried to create a closer match to mounting. Worse, their balance was so out of rights and with both grappling to right themselves and throwing each other off-balance with their shifting their weight on the couch it took considerable time to extricate themselves. “I assume that was unintentional,” Sarek said, his dry humor clear. Kirk started to laugh again even as the heat of his blush spread over his face and down his throat. With another shot, Sarek felt less stiff and somewhat more mobile. Together they dressed Sarek in likely too many layers and maneuvered him outside. But no sooner than they reached only the wood deck, Sarek halted. “Perhaps that will be enough of a walk for my current condition.” They made it all of eight feet past the door. Kirk muffled a chuckle as he settled Sarek onto one of the loungers and turned on the fire pit well-stocked with oak. The flames erupted and roared to life. The warmth enveloped them almost immediately and he could swear that he heard Sarek sigh. He certainly looked more relaxed, at least. Kirk couldn’t help but notice how flattering the more-native-Vulcan colors of fire were reflected off Sarek’s face. He really was quite handsome. The flickering of light created an exotic portrait of planes and angles and seemed almost to mask his exhaustion and emotional turmoil. Kirk hoped that he might be able to erase some of that with more permanence. Sarek looked up and caught Kirk staring. “Is there something more you wished to say?” Kirk was glad his blush was hidden by the dimmer firelight he could turn partially from. He decided to venture toward the heart of the matter. “You have decided not to remarry, bond again?” From the suddenly tightened lips, Kirk had thought he trespassed too far. “It would seem the safest route.” Sarek appeared to still be running from his imprisonment of long ago. Kirk didn’t want to imagine what could have happened to have made such a strong man still so uncomfortable. “Not safe by far from what I understand. All Vulcan males bond, for good reason.” Kirk hoped this avenue would be less of a dead-end than he expected. “Unless there are…alternatives…” Sarek stared at him. “I am old enough to disallow a bonding.” “And young enough to continue by another path discovered,” Kirk countered. “No Vulcan had bonded to a Terran until you. You did not follow the usual path then. Perhaps there are alternatives again.” “Alternatives may exist,” Sarek said. Kirk was surprised at the lack of certainty. Did Vulcans truly think only to bond or die? Surely they were at least aware of a third possibility. Or was that knowledge kept hidden to keep Vulcans bonding without considering any? He wouldn’t be surprised with Vulcan’s low birth rate and slight but consistent population decline. He had heard that there were hundreds of cities abandoned, now buried in sand. The harsh planet seemed to be evicting its residents, measure by measure. “Is same-sex bonding as frowned upon as staying unbonded?” Kirk asked. Sarek’s eyebrows shot up at that. The fire shot a shower of sparks as if in shock at Kirk’s boldness. Kirk quickly added. “I only ask because the low birth rate and population decline on Vulcan would likely be the basis for the strong encouragement to bond and betrothals at such a young age. It would logically follow that the same would apply to same-sex unions.” Hiding behind the theoretical scientific curiosity was one way to get a Vulcan to talk of sexuality and tradition. Sarek seemed almost to smile. “You have always been clever, James.” Kirk got the
strong impression
that Sarek was appreciative and complimentary toward the form rather
than the substance. He had followed Kirk’s
circuitous, almost
dishonest, method of ferreting out information to gain a clear picture,
and
oddly seemed almost relieved at finding this quality in Kirk. That Sarek felt positively toward such
manipulation and appeared almost relieved at Kirk’s brazenness was
confusing,
if not shocking. “Your manipulations remind me strongly of my late wife…of Amanda.” Kirk was glad he clarified which at the end. He had to wonder if Sarek wanted this dilemma dealt with by another so not to dishonor his Vulcan code of honor with regard to privacy. He likely also didn’t want Kirk to feel saddled with such an ominous responsibility if they both had the same hopeful solution for Sarek in mind. “I guess I am assuming the same spectrum exists of heterosexual and homosexual response in Vulcans as humans,” Kirk added. “I assume any information I divulge will be kept in the strictest confidence should such not be meant for public consumption?” Sarek seemed almost grave, but it seemed more the topic than his concern about Kirk’s unusual and likely disallowed quest. Kirk nodded as he tried not to look too excited. “Due to the existence of Vulcan’s cyclical biological imperative and our centuries of war, which often separated the males from the females,” Sarek began in the same tone of lecture so often heard in his son, “…this same spectrum has been quite compressed mid-range, therefore allowing more…opportunities…to provide for the male drive. It would follow that those who were more open and amenable to… the possibilities…were more likely to survive, and those sired from, obviously by females, produced more…open and amenable…progeny with each generation.” Kirk’s eyebrows rose at that. Did Sarek just say that Vulcans were more likely to be bisexual than humans? And the newest studies have shown that most humans were actually bisexual; that each possessed varying amounts of attraction to females and males. It would make sense since more Vulcans could survive pon farr to later allow progeny if they could gain release with a male as well as a female. Sarek and Kirk stared at each other, seeming at a standstill again. Kirk decided to push forward once more. “I am quite positive that there would be an inordinate number of potential surrogates available. You are brilliant, successful, compassionate, and…quite handsome.” Sarek looked irritated and rather defensive. “Much obligation would attach should I take advantage of any one of this plethora you refer to. Also, most non-Vulcans have little appreciation of the severity of the…need, even outside of the Time. “Amanda seemed quite happy.” Sarek’s face softened. “Amanda loved me. And I provided every compensation she would allow.” Kirk didn’t doubt either. Sarek doted on her and she was so obviously devoted to him. “Perhaps you might find something close to that again, in time.” “James, why is it that you have not remarried. You are no longer on long-range missions.” “Well, other than not having to worry about a protracted and horribly painful death awaiting me if I didn’t?” Sarek merely looked slightly annoyed, and awaited the answer patiently. “I guess just the usual. I haven’t met the right woman, or man.” He had added that last as he realized the opportunity mid-stream. He had meant to simply state the old cliché, but realized he didn’t really know that a man might not fit the bill as well, and it likely would cause Sarek to think further on the possibility that Kirk might offer more than an affair by dispelling the womanizing reputation Kirk had. Sarek’s eyebrow lifted at that and he looked thoughtful. “Perhaps I was wrong on another assumption.” “Many have been,” Kirk said. He decided further gains might be made. “As I said, I have been more open-minded than most. It seems that many beings are compatible with humans – male and female – in many ways. I also think that one can never know where something can lead without that first step. I can’t believe that you and Amanda married without…first testing the waters.” Sarek offered a challenging look. “Are you implying that I should take a…sampling of various unfortunate beings’ mating potentials?” “It’s called dating,” Kirk said wryly. “Perhaps you’ve heard of it?” “Amanda tried that same definition out on me. I had to wonder what might have come of it should it not work out after we had…sampled.” Kirk suppressed the laugh. “That’s the drawback of it still hundreds of years later.” Sarek shook his head again. “I think I shall never understand humans.” Let me summarize - better to try and fail than never to have tried at all,” Kirk said. “Not from the
Vulcan point of
view.” “You’ve at least a chance at success by trying; none otherwise.” Sarek looked thoughtful. “That is logical, but first steps can be daunting. I would not even know where to begin. And how would I know that another being had no intentions other than…” “Getting in your pants?” Kirk asked. Sarek actually grimaced. “Sorry.” Sarek’s momentary irritation faded to a look of confusion. Kirk decided the little-boy-lost look on Sarek was adorable and quite sexy. It must be something rarely seen. There was also no time like the present. “I think I can take care of both issues.” Sarek looked to Kirk, his subdued expression looked half-hopeful and half-doubtful. Kirk stood and stepped over to Sarek, who looked a little nervous at the nearness. “Sit up and scoot forward about a foot.” If nothing else, Sarek would be clear on Kirk’s feelings soon enough. Kirk slipped in right behind, and grabbed Sarek as he tried to move further away. “Sit like you would ride a horse with Amanda behind you.” “There would be no separation,” Sarek said. His whole body had tensed at the thought. “Can you keep from reading me?” Kirk asked. “Yes, but…” “Then there’s no problem,” Kirk said. “Personal space would be violated for us both,” Sarek said, his voice tight. “I am not comfortable…” “Trust me, you’ll get comfortable.” Kirk stared hard at Sarek, awaiting another protest. He could see only doubt in Sarek’s eyes now but he allowed himself to settle back against Kirk, tight as a drum. Kirk almost sighed, surprised at how good it felt as Sarek leaned back against him. “I do not understand the purpose,” Sarek said coolly. “There are several, all likely beneficial. Just relax against me. Imagine I am Amanda if you have to.” “It is hard to imagine such with a body so very different from hers.” Sarek’s muscles still felt taut with the unfamiliar touching and pressure. His body fairly sang with his anxiety and discomfort. Kirk sighed now, but in irritation instead. He might as well be hugging a board. “Sorry to disappoint you.” “It is not a disappointment so much as merely different.” Kirk smiled at the attempt, then had an idea. He slid his hands to Sarek’s shoulders and started to knead the tightness out of them. At first Sarek jumped and then settled into the fingers. His tenseness eased a little, but he didn’t feel relaxed. Kirk decided to cheat, besides, McCoy had allowed many more shots of the muscle relaxant and pain suppressant. He reached down, retrieved the hypo and applied a quick double dose before Sarek could protest. Sarek jerked again but said nothing. With the sudden absorption of the drug, his body melted into Kirk like a heavy quilt and Kirk felt himself harden at the warmer body limp against every part of him. In quick order he finished the shoulders and pulled Sarek back so his head lay back on his own shoulder. He noticed Sarek’s eyes were half open, awake but quite doped up. He seemed to be feeling no pain for the moment. He slipped his legs around the Vulcan, leaned him forward and massaged his back thoroughly from top to bottom, then slipped his arms under Sarek’s and began massaging his chest, then abdomen as Sarek regained lucidity little by little. He pulled him close against himself and allowed his erection to fill out against the pressure of Sarek’s lower back. He laid his cheek against Sarek’s and felt the heat of his deep, even breaths. Sarek shifted slightly and his eyes looked clearer. “James?” “Right here. Feeling better?” “Yes, your massage has helped, along with whatever medication McCoy has concocted.” “Is this position uncomfortable?” Kirk asked, partially regretting that he gave Sarek an out when Kirk wanted this closeness, and more. “It is not uncomfortable, yet this closeness is not what I am used to…” “Do you want me to stop?” Kirk asked. “I feel I should ask you to, but find I wish you not to.” “Stop thinking so much, and just relax. A Vulcan’s stubbornness and reticence are his worst enemies.” “Is that a quote?” Sarek asked. “Could be. It’s a common-enough theory.” “Is that so?” Sarek’s voice still sounded a bit dopey, but his teasing tone was clear. “Put both on hold and it would do wonders for your race,” Kirk said in the same teasing tone. “I can only
promise to do so
myself, at least for the night…morning,” Sarek said.
The correction though quick showed Sarek’s
time sense was a little bedeviled. It
was far past Kirk smiled. “That might be long enough to help a great deal.” “Indeed?” Sarek asked. “Indeed,” Kirk replied, as he slipped his hand through an open slot in Sarek’s jacket to the layers beneath just above his pants. Sarek started as the hand had slipped under but did nothing more about it. Kirk turned his face and breathed in a comfortable scent of cedar and nutmeg. Sarek closed his eyes, likely a little disconcerted. He shifted his head back and rubbed his cheek against Sarek’s ear. His skin felt silky soft; not what he would’ve expected. He edged his hand so very slightly down to the edge of Sarek’s pants, could feel them straining already with another erection. It was like bridling a frightened foal, introducing a virgin to the many sensual and sexual pleasures – distraction was the key. Thank God for two hands and words to confuse and confound, he would have this Vulcan, and he would prove he wanted more than a taste for his collection. He wanted to plant himself deep – physically, emotionally and symbolically. He wanted to be the one Sarek thought of when he needed to talk, the one Sarek looked to when he felt so alone. He wanted to be there when this Vulcan’s Time came and he was vulnerable, anxious and in need. He didn’t want the stereotype or illusory Vulcan most imagined; he wanted the man himself just how he came, his foibles and weaknesses mixed with so much that impressed. He wanted Sarek laid out to be read in a mind-meld with nothing held back. And, surprisingly, he wanted for Sarek to know him the same. He felt close, devoted, warm, tender, protective and could this be love? What a terrifying thought it should be, Kirk thought, but he felt only calm, and a sense of a part of something so much more, as if his family and friends would connect like the ice crystals freezing over the wide expanse of the glittering lake. But a Vulcan trusts actions above words. And Kirk needed to determine if this could be merely a strange infatuation no better than Jane’s. He owed that to them both. But there were simpler things that could be discovered sooner. And both needed the closeness, the intimacy, if not the relief, to see past the obvious first. Kirk nuzzled an earlobe. Sarek’s breathing accelerated. He swiped his tongue past for a whisper of moist contact. Sarek jerked at that, but allowed the tongue to dive in for a longer, softer soirée. The breathing accelerated even more. His hand slipped over the pants clasp and prepared to climb the mound. “James.” “Yes?” “Vulcans rarely pursue half-measures.” “Good,” Kirk replied. “While I can’t read the future, my…intentions are honorable and my mind is open to the possibilities.” Sarek’s hand stopped Kirk’s as it began to edge closer. “I would presume that Vulcan males are beyond your experience?” “They are not exactly promiscuous.” “You have experience with human males?” Kirk smiled wistfully. “I experimented back in the Academy “My experience with males is also limited,” Sarek said. “…and what there was…occurred involuntarily.” Kirk could not
help but shudder
at the realization. Rape. He knew he should not
feel surprised. Sarek had been traveling
most of his career and in the spotlight when not. A
target. Everyone knew the fate of Vulcans
intercepted in deep
space or on
missions far from a starship like the That Sarek got into trouble and escaped and survived was a fortunate turn of events. Vulcans were often kept as bed-slaves and trophies. Some bodies had even been recovered after taxidermy, as nude statues. Kirk shivered at the thought; the obsession was endemic, often to perverted and sadistic ends. Then, there was also the previous marriage where he had hinted at the possibility of being offered to visiting tradesmen and VIP’s. “I’m sorry.” “There is no reason to be. I thought it best to apprise you of such so that you may better understand the…reorientation I must make with regard to close contact with a male.” Kirk’s hand began its retreat. “Perhaps I am moving too fast.” “Do not be concerned. I would resist whatever causes me too much discomfort. I hope that you would do the same. I am more concerned with your welfare. Vulcans are rather more…primal…in satisfying their needs.” But Kirk was focused back on sliding his hand down the tight abs to the pants fastening and then to the full erection beneath. As his fingers traced the bulge, he felt Sarek’s head lay back in acquiescence. He lay his hand full on the erection and felt the slight intake of breath from Sarek. He rubbed along the length of the crotch and noticed Sarek swallow heavily and his breathing accelerated. He slipped his experienced fingers to the clasp and released it and fondled the full length of the penis inside as Sarek groaned softly. “James, I so want to…” Sarek finished only with a shudder. “I bet you do,” Kirk replied with a smirk. He kept his hand inside of Sarek’s pants for the cold, but also because it felt so naughty to be reaching inside a Vulcan’s pants and fondling him. Sarek squirmed and grabbed the hand about him. “I am…very close. It might be better if we curtail this before…” “It might be best if we don’t.” Kirk said very sternly. His hand still gripped Sarek’s penis and tightened each time the Vulcan attempted to dislodge it. “Besides, it is difficult to usurp one from a bunker.” Kirk smiled at the Vulcan’s conflicted consternation. “It is quite cold uncovered, even with the fire,” Sarek argued. Kirk smiled, pushed Sarek up and maneuvered around him. Before Sarek could protest, Kirk’s mouth fell upon the now unburied penis, thrusting and sucking with a vengeance. Sarek moaned and could not stop the maelstrom of lust and need that overwhelmed him. Kirk gripped Sarek’s hips tightly so not to be dislodged before his success. But he need not have worried, it seemed. Sarek had been at the brink for too long attempting to keep his lust from overcoming him. Kirk’s onslaught was too much and Sarek could only thrust as he felt his climax imminent. “James!” It had sounded almost like a warning, or perhaps an entreaty to continue. But no clue followed to clarify so Kirk continued to fellate the bulk of Sarek’s penis, enjoying the view of the ambassador now writhing, mouth agape from the pleasure. The Vulcan’s hands gripped the lounge chair arms. “I’m about to…” Kirk gripped tighter and continued his aggressive plunder, making it clear what he expected of Sarek, who ceased fighting his desires and bucked one final time, his hips arced in the air and head falling back as a long, low moan preceded his climax. Kirk allowed a contented smile as he swallowed the slightly sweet and spicy cum shooting into his mouth. Sarek fought to regain his breath. “James…I do not…know what to say…” Kirk put Sarek’s pants back together and smiled. “I would prefer to reciprocate, if you would allow me?” Kirk grinned at the thought of this man on his knees pleasuring him. “I look forward to it, but for now we’d better see to breakfast, and the crowd that will be awakening soon.” He couldn’t imagine what there thoughts would be should they have stepped out to see what Kirk had been doing only moments before. Sarek looked surprised by the dawn already broken and a little disheartened Kirk was so very glad to see. “Sarek, we have several days yet to continue…our endeavors.” “Sarek looked to Kirk’s crotch. “But are you not still frustrated? I had not realized humans had such control.” Kirk blushed. “It was taken care of when I sat behind you.” He had come while rubbing against Sarek’s ass, too excited by the slow unveiling of the too-ready Vulcan and what was to come. And there was so much more yet. Sarek looked confused, then enlightened. “Ah,” he merely said. “I will have to remedy my neglect later then…” “You can count on it!” Kirk straightened Sarek’s coat near his crotch, more for the touch than to add anymore protection from the weather. He noticed Sarek had a curious look on his face and was watching Kirk’s wandering hand, and took advantage of the opportunity, leaning in and pressing his lips to Sarek’s in a very soft kiss to avoid causing pain. Though Sarek’s face looked somewhat better, Kirk doubted anymore would be wise. The full lips were pleasantly soft and yielding and it was obvious Sarek wanted more as he tried to prolong the kiss by leaning in even as Kirk pulled away. The slight expression on Sarek’s face had been worth the touch of a kiss – slightly bewildered, wonderstruck, perhaps with a hint of regret that the exploration was too-soon interrupted. The Vulcan’s lips quirked almost into a smile. “I truly hope that you understand what you are wandering into, James.” “Surging, storming, or bursting into may more appropriately describe it. And I have only just begun.” The door slid open to their surprise. Both turned. McCoy stood scowling. “Just what have you been doing to my patient that I didn’t authorize?” Kirk bit his lip so not to laugh. “It’s ass-freezing cold,” McCoy began. “As well as other parts,” Sarek interrupted. McCoy eyebrows rose at what sounded like a private joke. Kirk bit his lip again. “I would have to say, doctor, that I am thoroughly warmed,” Sarek added in McCoy’s unusual, though likely quite temporary silence. McCoy stepped aside and opened the door wide, obviously awaiting their entrance, which followed quickly thereafter. Kirk and Sarek made their way to separate hot showers and then each to a fresh change of clothes. Spock and Jane appeared soon after. Spock eyed both Kirk and his father curiously. Jane tried her best not to make eye contact with anyone. Sarek watched Jane with a soft expression, then seemed to come to a decision. “Jane, can I speak with you a moment?” “Yes, sir,” she said meekly. They stepped through the living room and out the doors to the still-roaring fire. Kirk watched curiously, as did McCoy, but McCoy soon transferred his curiosity to Kirk, “So it looks like you two are tight as a couple of puppies wrastlin’…” Kirk couldn’t help but wonder how much McCoy had seen. Part of him wanted to blurt out what felt like deserved congratulations. But another part felt like coveting the change in his relationship to Sarek greedily. It was far too early to really know what might come of it, and how each of his friends might handle it. He did not want to cause any more friction and stress among them, especially between Spock and Sarek. He also felt the need to earn the trust of the so-reserved and private Vulcan, and this would be the first step. Should their relationship flower as he predicted and hoped, he would have to learn such reserve in regard to Sarek’s private affairs. He could no longer kiss and tell by any stretch of the imagination. Not that he ever had done much of that anyway. Kirk offered a slight smile. “We’re past what happened yesterday.” “Far past it from what I saw.” McCoy had a suspicious glint in his eye and Spock had raised his eyebrow at that, looking far too curious. Kirk peered out at Jane who was nodding and wiping her eyes, and Sarek talking softly and seeming to console her and let her upset vent through her long-winded adolescent explanations and apologies. Kirk’s anger with her had dissolved. She truly seemed so young and vulnerable when she realized her weaknesses and insecurities. He was dying to know what was being said, likely later Sarek would tell him… “That’s what I’d like to know!” Kirk bluffed. Surely if McCoy had any hint of sex or romance, he’d be discreet, if only to protect Sarek. “Just the vibes, I guess,” McCoy said. “It almost seemed as if I was interrupting when I opened the door.” Kirk still wasn’t sure what McCoy knew, and knew finding out was too risky as it would only make McCoy more curious. The sliding door opened and Jane and Sarek reentered. Though her eyes were red, Jane was smiling. She stood on her toes and gave Sarek a loud kiss on the cheek and fairly bounced back to the table. Breakfast was a smorgasbord of luscious and varied leftovers from the earlier breakfasts and dinners picked straight from the boxes still fresh due to the stasis effect, though Sarek ate little and gingerly due to his injuries, though assured them that he was not terribly hungry due to the medication. Jane was waved away into the bright and temperate morning after getting Sarek’s promise that “he would talk to Uncle Jim” and receiving hugs from the humans and ‘well-wishes’ from the Vulcans on a safe journey and a satisfactory holiday season. Overhearing Sarek’s promise made Kirk very curious and somewhat concerned. He only hoped it had been something originally prompted by Sarek, himself. McCoy spent the
next hour
thoroughly checking Sarek over and together, he and Kirk fully applied
the
salves and allowed Sarek to enter a short healing trance.
Kirk was pleased when Spock requested a game
of chess in the meantime, while McCoy puttered around the kitchen
assembling a huge
picnic lunch for their imminent visit to
They strode along the path around the lake, one after another like ducklings would – Vulcan, Human, Vulcan, Human – the humans taking no chances that either Vulcan might suddenly succumb to the cold so near the beautiful but precarious lake. A light breeze swirled the drifts of shades of whites across the expanse of myriad pale blues. A fresh sprinkling of snow glittered like natural holiday decorations as it glinted from the constantly shifting angle of their sojourn around the circumference of the valley. When they could see the cabin in the distance across on the opposite side, they cut away into the trees on a slight upward angle. Kirk headed up the rear of their small entourage off on the important mission of stewing in hot water amidst the towers of pine laced with brilliant blue-white winter sun, and a maze of oranges and reds further inside the caves of the springs as the sun’s light was cut away and dispersed. Sarek traveled immediately in front of him, an unnecessary reminder as his thoughts were focused like a speeding train on his plans and desires regarding him. He wanted to touch the Vulcan. Could not help but feel the draw. It had built like an obsession since he first realized his anger had instead been jealousy, likely even before. More than a physical drive to take the man in his basest need, but to press further into the intimacy of his secrets, his soul, almost to own him, and in turn, be owned by him. He understood now the Vulcan male possessiveness. He could not imagine what it must be like to feel this ingrained within and always to be kept at bay. He understood now why Vulcans were bonded telepathically – to receive constant connection and reassurance if necessary. He had to wonder if some link might be bringing some of this possessive need into him from Sarek. He had to smile at the thought; it would mean they were already closer, and would only grow more close. Perhaps this was why Vulcans did not pursue casual sex and romance. And why Sarek was so nervous of Kirk’s intentions. Perhaps Sarek could not help but bond as a natural instinct. They might feel closer with each intimacy, and start to share more of each others feelings and needs. Sarek turned when he could, his expression revealing little but a glint of warmth when his eyes met Kirk’s. At times Kirk would be able to approach close when the terrain became steep and climbing was necessary. He could slip a hand to help Sarek up, perhaps brush his thigh, lean against his buttocks, and in turn, Sarek would reach to pull him up, by hand then a slight catch of fingers behind his waist, held longer than necessary. The Vulcan’s eyes became so expressive as his back turned from the others, then the warmth slipped away as the others could see. Kirk hoped that Sarek would someday not need to hide what he had shown freely with Amanda. The exterior appeared as just a small pool with rugged form etched into the side of rock among a sparser scattering of trees. The sun shown freely through the trees with only a dappling of shade. The steam danced across the water in waves back and forth with the slightest breezes as if dancing across the sparkling surface, inviting them to join in. Spock stepped close and tested the water and observed the various flora and evidence of fauna. McCoy shook his head at Spock and deposited the small anti-grav stasis cart sealing the food’s wonderful scents from any local creatures that might consider raiding it and began to strip. Sarek stepped up and seemed to be admiring the spring. “So much water. After 60 years of visiting your planet, I never fail to discover new purposes and recreations you have made for it.” Kirk stepped up next to him and squelched his idea of recreation in the water he had in mind, at least for the moment. Spock had already wandered off to investigate the many entrances and caves of the surrounding environs. McCoy had already submerged his tired body with a loud sigh and a cold mint julep prepped along with many more in stasis tubes. Kirk could not help but notice Sarek’s curiosity as he stared back into the cave and noticed it didn’t seem to stop. “Let’s check it out,” Kirk said as he began to strip. He was just as curious, but also excited to get Sarek alone. They stripped in the chill sunlight, Kirk trying not to stare at Sarek fully naked in broad daylight in case McCoy might notice the perusal. But he noticed McCoy staring unabashedly at Sarek’s body. “You’ve put on a few pounds even since you’ve been here, I think,” McCoy said, staring appreciatively. “Vulcans are supposed to be thinner than humans,” Sarek commented almost defensively. McCoy snorted. “Not that thin. I think Spock might have a few pounds on you, and your taller and broader shouldered.” Kirk was tempted to add that Spock had gained a few too many pounds for the Vulcan norm, but refrained from a jab at an innocent bystander in this minor skirmish. He noticed that Sarek also didn’t bring up Spock’s extra weight, which he could likely estimate to the tenth of a pound. He did however enjoy the view now disguised as clinical appraisal. He had a beautiful body even though it did appear a little thin. All of the muscles still defined and tight. He saw McCoy flick his attention toward him and perhaps he looked away a little too quickly. He didn’t meet McCoy’s eyes, so he couldn’t tell if McCoy might have noticed anything out of the ordinary. Kirk stepped in and started for the entrance to what looked like further pools with plenty of headroom so not to be claustrophobic for Sarek. He paused as he realized he was alone, and looked back. Sarek was staring at the pool momentarily, and Kirk remembered Vulcans were not so comfortable in water, even obviously though the alternative was the brisk air about him. Spock had been trained in it and had experienced many missions in water-filled environments, which were likely not a common choice for Sarek, and likely the Federation tended to avoid sending a Vulcan ambassador to such, unless they had to. He seemed to get past his initial qualms and, shivering from the cold, stepped into the water. He made his way to Kirk the water almost to his chest, still looking too much like a cat having to traverse a shallow puddle, ready for a full-body shake at any second. As Sarek stepped through and out of sight of McCoy, Kirk caught his hand and pulled him further. The appearance of the further pools even distracted them from each other for a moment. The ‘ceiling’ looked cathedral-like as it stretched to a point, laced with streaks of reflected light and shimmers off the water. The further pools led of to the sides one after another, each seemed sewn together by the streams of light all coming from the main entrance. As they walked, the light dimmed ever so slightly, but their eyes adjusted to the lesser light. “Don’t get lost!” McCoy called out a little nervously, but with a chuckle. But that looked
impossible, as
all of the light seemed to only come from one direction, and all of the
caverns
to the sides were dead ends, no matter how far they went, it seemed. In addition to the natural Kirk felt Sarek approach close, yet tepidly, as if Kirk might bolt. He looked almost unsure of himself. “James, if you feel differently, I will understand. I don’t want you to feel obligated to continue…” Kirk grabbed Sarek and kissed him deeply. Sarek held him as tightly and allowed, in fact seemed to relish, the plunder by the human’s tongue. Their hands pulled at each other’s bodies even as they fondled and rubbed. “Why would you have thought that?” Kirk had to ask. “I did not know if you were motivated by curiosity or guilt at our last ‘meeting’; I would judge neither, of course. But you would not look at my body when I stood fully unclothed…” Kirk smiled broadly. “I was curious, that is true, and still curious, but then so are you, right?” Sarek nodded. “I think you’re handsome, hell gorgeous, and there are so many things I want to do with your body, but more importantly, with you.” Kirk brushed two fingers down the side of Sarek’s face as he had seen Vulcan bondmates do when they thought themselves unnoticed. Sarek’s eyes closed and he seemed as strongly affected as Kirk hoped by the gesture of affection and closeness he decided it must be. Kirk continued, “To be completely honest, I cannot yet judge exactly what I want, but I’ve had little time to realize I had any choice but to ignore my feelings for you. I know I don’t want to part from you now, or in the near future, if ever, I don’t know.” Sarek opened his eyes and they appeared to glisten. “I want to please you, to show you how I…feel. Let me do so now.” Kirk pulled Sarek to the levels above the water and seated himself comfortably against an incline of stone polished smooth by ages of water. Sarek sat below him and lovingly caressed Kirk’s penis. That this Vulcan was trying to satisfy him so, that he wanted to, meant so much. Sarek looked up at Kirk with the slightest of smiles and the humor and warmth dancing in his eyes. “I have never done this before, Sarek admitted softly. “I hope I am able to please you.” Kirk couldn’t help looking pleased at being Sarek’s first blow job. “I have a feeling that you learn quickly at almost anything.” He had been so focused on his anticipation that he had to divert some of his mindset to even say that much. “Your example was most educational. I had not thought I would have this opportunity.” Sarek lowered his head and kissed the already engorged penis, then slowly, teasingly began to lap and suck. Just the eroticism of the sight of Ambassador Sarek giving him head brought Kirk so close he had to momentarily close his eyes to calm down. Sarek seemed to be able to judge expertly by trial and error what brought Kirk pleasure and how close he was, and kept him on the edge seemingly endlessly, until he stopped. He had to wonder if Sarek was using feedback by telepathy that he would easily be able to read through touch, likely even with his shields up. Kirk shook his muddled thoughts out of the ecstasy. “Jesus, that was incredible!” “Would you like to finish inside of me?” Sarek asked from where he sat, with the slightest smile and a raised eyebrow. Kirk couldn’t help but lick his lips as desire roared at the possibility. But concern as quickly overtook it when he remembered that Sarek’s only experience with males had been rape. “It’s likely too soon for you.” “It is not, James.” “But after…” “I would like to replace my last memories with more pleasant ones. Now, if you would allow me.” Kirk’s heart sped up even as he frowned. “Damn, I left the lube.” He hadn’t truly thought they’d get this far this fast. Sarek was motivated, and a damn fast learner. “Unnecessary for a Vulcan,” Sarek said. “Our physiology provides two solutions.” Kirk looked curious at that. Sarek looked down at Kirk’s erection. Kirk touched his erection and felt that it was still slick, and smiled. “How convenient! But you said ‘two solutions’.” Sarek’s eyes danced at that. “I will leave you to discover the second. I am less clear however on the methods for two males, but for the obvious from the study of the animal kingdom…” Sarek now looked a little embarrassed, which surprised Kirk. Kirk attempted to temper his broad smile but failed miserably. “Due to the hard surfaces, our less-sophisticated brothers likely held the best answer.” He stepped down behind Sarek, who bent over and swayed his hip brushing Kirk’s penis. Kirk had to wonder if Sarek had meant the teasing. He hoped so. “This may be a little quick, unless I can calm myself a little.” “Then,” Sarek said, “…we may call it an introductory lesson.” Kirk grimaced and chuckled and wished he could see Sarek’s face to determine if he had intended the bad pun. He was quickly refocused however on Sarek’s ass, so invitingly awaiting his now-throbbing penis. He pulled the soft, perfectly-shaped globes apart and teased the awaiting orifice with his finger. Sarek’s sharp intake of breath and shiver gave him pause. “We can stop, I won’t mind…” Partially a lie, he realized, but he didn’t want to spoil a possible long-term relationship with a momentary thoughtless regard at the very beginning. “No, please, James, I want to continue…” Kirk teased the orifice again and saw it tighten and then relax. He wished again for the lube. How could this not hurt Sarek? But he had said there was a second solution. He traced his finger close to the opening, then knelt down and teased with his tongue, rimming him wetly. The orifice relaxed slightly in response. He continued to rim Sarek and pressed into the opening. Kirk had never enjoyed rimming so. Sarek was obsessively clean and his skin smelled pleasantly, faintly of spice. Sarek moaned and pressed back. Kirk entered as far as his tongue would go and Sarek began to shudder. “James, please.” The tone was plaintive. Sarek obviously wanted more. Kirk withdrew his tongue and pressed his finger inside. Sarek thrust back onto the finger the full length and finally Kirk felt the second solution. Just inside, the surface was so very smooth and slippery but not wet, almost as if coated with silicone powder. He thrust his finger in fully as Sarek thrust back. He had heard that Vulcan sex was often somewhat rougher and more primal and that it would be hard for a human to be too rough with a Vulcan. He relished finding out, once Sarek fully trusted and allowed him, of course. He was desperate now for release and aligned the head of his penis and spread the pre-cum about the orifice. He could feel Sarek’s breathing accelerate. He pressed in slowly and felt Sarek take what sounded like a calming breath. “Okay?” Kirk asked, concerned. Sarek only nodded. Kirk thought it interesting that the normally verbose and ultra-articulate Vulcan didn’t respond verbally, but didn’t ponder further on the matter since his entrance felt absolutely incredible. Sarek could nod all he wanted if he was bent over awaiting Kirk to fuck him. He pressed the head in and felt Sarek’s tenseness ease. He pushed slowly and fully in, relishing the slick, hot tight channel, and concentrating so not to come too quickly. He stood motionless and took several long breaths. “James?” Sarek seemed a bit confused. “Just a little too excited,” Kirk said. “My availability for further…lessons…is not an issue,” Sarek said very dryly. Kirk laughed. “Availability of erections however are at issue. I don’t know if I’ll be able to…get it up quite as soon as I’d, we’d like.” “Really?” Sarek sounded surprised. “It would seem that Vulcans and Humans could trade their physiological difficulties in that respect and both appreciate the exchange greatly.” Kirk laughed. So Vulcans got more erections than they knew what to do with. He had noticed Sarek fighting off his most of the time he’d been there; he seemed to get hard quite easily. Though the talking had quelled his overexcitement, the direction of the conversation – imagining a panoply of horny Vulcans trying to distract themselves from their throbbing penises -- was pepping him up again. He pulled out and thrust fully into Sarek. “Let me know if I’m hurting you.” “I truly don’t think such is possible for a human entering a Vulcan,” Sarek said. “And pain actually helps my species reach climax.” Cheeky Vulcan, Kirk thought, and was tempted to find out, though reason and compassion reigned in that uncharitable thought soon enough. He would find out how hard Sarek could take it, but after they were more comfortable with each other. After only a few more solid thrusts, each a little rougher than the last, he began to feel himself close to climax again, and reached down to pump Sarek, who responded in almost warp speed to catch up. Kirk could hear Sarek’s ragged breathing and feel him trying both to pump into Kirk’s hand as he thrust back into Kirk. Sarek’s excitement fueled Kirk’s and they pounded together as Kirk grabbed and pulled at Sarek’s thrusting body and fully rammed himself into the Vulcan as he came hard and felt the surroundings almost wavier as release turned his muscles to jelly. He felt the Vulcan jerk and shudder, then he moaned and came over Kirk’s hand still holding his penis. Sarek wobbled, and they both fell backwards into the water. Kirk came up laughing. “I didn’t consider that possibility.” “Perhaps we might try a more solid surface the next time,” Sarek said dryly with a raised eyebrow. Kirk couldn’t help but stare at the salt and pepper waves that Sarek’s hair fell into after getting soaked and draining of water. It seemed only to grow wavier as he drew his hand through it self-consciously. Kirk had to wonder how few people had seen Sarek without his hair straightened and was surprised at the vanity of Sarek straightening it. He felt a wave of deep affection at discovering another rare foible. He stepped forward and kissed the Vulcan deeply. Sarek seemed almost relieved at Kirk’s reaction, as if he would think less of Sarek because he looked different in such a small way from other Vulcans. He had to wonder at the conformist attitude that had helped to develop a need to hide wavy hair because it wasn’t the norm. It gave him a window into both Sarek’s and Spock’s upbringing, the world they had to contend with and another partial reason for their strife. They were completely engrossed in the other when they heard a slight splash too far from the waterfall but too close for comfort. They turned as they separated to see a wide-eyed McCoy staring at them. “Uh…I was getting worried. I stopped hearing the echo of voices so I came looking…” He turned and started away. “Bones…” McCoy stopped but didn’t turn. “It just happened. We didn’t really have a chance to…” Kirk wasn’t quite sure what to say. “You don’t need to explain for God’s sake!” McCoy said a little too loudly and roughly. “You are angry,” Sarek said quietly. McCoy turned to stare at him, his eyebrows rose at that. He shook his head as he smiled. “I’m not angry, at either of you. I just feel foolish for interrupting, and for not seeing what was going on, at least before you two did.” Kirk and Sarek exchanged looks. That had sounded like an insult, but both let it pass. McCoy fluttered his hand at them. “Carry on.” But both felt a little uncomfortable leaving it at that. “No, we were on our way out anyway,” Kirk said. “We were back here a little longer than expected.” “Imagine that,” McCoy said, his humor back. “Doctor?” Sarek started uncomfortably. McCoy grinned. “Oh, so formal now! Don’t worry, I will let you two break it to Spock when you feel the time is right.” “I appreciate your discretion, Leonard.” Sarek said. “You’re a good man, Bones!” Kirk added. McCoy snorted. “I don’t even want to step into the middle of this quagmire!” They each relaxed against the edges of the outer pool on natural ledge-like seats on the inside rim. Kirk felt Sarek’s intense gaze and then noticed McCoy notice, too and the doctor’s relaxed expression slid into a frown. Kirk thought that odd. They heard Spock finally arrive back below. “Father, I think I may have found something of scientific interest.” Sarek’s eyes dragged from Kirk to the direction of his son’s voice. “I will be right there.” He exited, toweled off, quickly dressed and excused himself then strode gingerly out and down the path toward his son. McCoy eyed Kirk with concern. Kirk stared back curiously. “Something wrong, doctor?” “You haven’t… I mean you two aren’t…” “Yes, as if that is any of your business.” Kirk was a little irritated now. “Can I ask when you began your…intimacies? I’m asking, as a doctor.” Kirk frowned at that. Why would McCoy’s medical expertise be needed, he wondered, and realized that he actually knew very little of Vulcan physiology. Perhaps he had missed something gravely important. “Just now.” He looked into the caves, as in memory, but his mind was directed in anxiety toward McCoy’s sudden concern. McCoy frowned and shook his head. “Oh, boy.” Kirks shifted closer, already alarmed. Vulcans and their biological quirks could be quite intense. “Should I be aware of anything particularly urgent?” Now McCoy smiled. “He who hath stared into Pandora’s Box now asks if he should have.” “Explain,” Kirk said, looking back to make sure they would not be interrupted. “You may have thought it a kindness toward Sarek, but you must know that, for a Vulcan, the urge will only get worse with a taste. Whereas humans can get relief with one ‘go’, Vulcans need quite a few, and they get quite…enthusiastic, to put it too mildly, when they are in the driver’s seat, if you know what I mean.” Kirk had known that Vulcans were quite dominant in relationships and in sex. He had actually been surprised when Sarek offered himself. And his gaze had been quite intense after they got back. McCoy kept his voice low still. “His desire and curiosity likely got the better of him, but he is probably very concerned for your safety.” “So you are saying that he is likely worse off now than before?” Kirk swallowed at that. “And from what I read, his control will be precarious should you continue.” McCoy looked back over his shoulder for Spock and Sarek’s return. “He may not trust himself.” Kirk’s eyebrows shot up at that. “You mean not allowing himself to…be the ‘active’ partner? But I’ve heard that Vulcans are so dominant?” “Perhaps that is
what he is
afraid of,” McCoy unwrapped another stasis tube of Mint Julep, adding
the third
wrapper to the row behind him. Kirk
couldn’t help but consider starting in on whatever other alcohol the
doctor had
brought along. Footsteps of the Vulcans could be heard as they stepped around and up to the outside pool. They both looked as stone-faced as possible. Kirk started to have the bad feeling that something other than ‘of scientific interest’ was discussed. Spock had called Sarek away, likely to confront him and Kirk had a feeling the subject might have either been his unbonded status, or suspicions about Kirk and Sarek’s foray into the caves. He could have easily come back while they were inside, or worse heard something himself since McCoy had vaguely heard their voices. But why wouldn’t Spock have confronted him as well, or instead, since Sarek had likely been the more vulnerable. Perhaps it was Spock’s habit of blaming his father, or his inability to blame Kirk for anything. Either way, he resented Spock’s picking on Sarek who had been through so much and had indeed been the more vulnerable. But he couldn’t bring up any of the subjects without revealing too much. And he doubted either would reveal their disagreement to him. Sarek stripped off his clothes and Kirk couldn’t help but notice him shivering. He longed to embrace him and massage warmth back into his body, but they still had the worst hurdle to cross in their budding and still uncharted relationship. He could see Spock watching his father closely as he too stripped and entered the steaming pool. His expression though almost blank had a glint of coldness to it. Sarek did not look toward Kirk at all, but also did not meet Spock’s eyes. The tension was clear to McCoy who decided to take matters into his own hands. “Spock, you haven’t even seen the most beautiful sight yet!” McCoy tilted his head toward the caves. Spock looked intrigued, but swiftly glanced at Sarek then Kirk. Kirk gave his ‘what-the-hell’ smirk and jerked his head toward the caves. Spock’s expression didn’t change, which didn’t bode well, but he followed McCoy into the caves, which were thankfully extensive, giving him time to talk to Sarek. Sarek still didn’t meet his eyes, so Kirk stepped over and cornered him by placing a hand on either side of the rock edge. His eyes held a desperate sadness, as in those at a funeral of a loved one. “I cannot hurt my son…again.” Kirk felt the pinched feeling in his eyes and throat. “You think he would rather have your death?” “He does not need to know. I have been selfish, perhaps.” Kirk was momentarily speechless. “I can’t believe Spock would want this. Does he even know about us?” “I cannot know for sure. He is rather forceful in his belief that I should return to Vulcan and follow tradition.” Kirk glared. “Just as he did.” His sarcasm added an edge that was cutting. “I am sorry,” Sarek said. “I have created this. I should never have…” But he didn’t finish. His eyes closed. Kirk felt even angrier. “You’re both so alike sometimes. Stubborn, and when it really counts between you, neither of you can see your hand in front of your face.” Sarek didn’t argue, but looked even sadder. “Well, someone needs to break this dam,” Kirk said. Sarek looked concerned, but before he could ask, Kirk launched upon him, one hand grabbing his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss, the other dove between Sarek’s legs. Sarek froze in shock, giving Kirk the upper hand. The Vulcan was completely aroused, writhing almost immediately. “No, James…we shouldn’t.” He uttered as he tried to pull his lips free. He was afraid of hurting the human in his attempts to dislodge him, but at the same time he felt himself being drawn to him physically far more than before, and worse, mentally. He could not risk a further link. It could too easily slip into a bond. But he felt a great need rise up in him. His arms twisted and pinned the human with almost a growl. His penis was fully erect, the want so desperate. His hands shoved Kirk’s legs apart. He pressed himself inside before he even realized it, was thrusting in a frenzy. “Mine,” he seethed into the human’s ear, as he pounded into the soft human. His fingers slipped up to Kirk’s face, ready to fully bond them, only to pause as his intellect screamed that this was not to be done. He groaned at the distraction of his intellect bridled by conscience. His body demanded a full connection: body and soul, forever. His body ruled as he thrust, coming so close, so very close. The human no longer squirmed within his hold, allowing him what he must. He could feel his fingertips align along Kirk’s face, feel his conscience slipping beneath the maelstrom of need. It would be done. Kirk would be his. He need not wait any longer his body decided, as his fingers found the connection needed and his body was ready to climax, to connect them forever. Suddenly the human was no longer beneath him. His hands scrabbled at his throat, his body writhed against a strong hold. He fought but could not loosen the grip. The grip tightened and he felt himself sucking for even the smallest breaths. A challenge, his body determined. And he was losing. Would not have the human, or any sating, again. Would be left upon the red sands for predators to scavenge. His mind rebelled at this. He fought harder as he felt his arms losing strength, losing their fight against the grip about his throat. Sarek’s response had been so intense, so primal that Kirk had simply relaxed, realizing he had not appreciated Sarek’s need and lack of control, but that he could ride it out until Sarek could control again. It was like some great 1000-pound cat had jumped him in a frenzy. But just as he had calmed himself and relaxed enough not to risk much injury, Sarek was gone. In shock he opened his eyes and turned to find Sarek struggling against an arm around his throat from behind. Through the struggle water splashed about and he could hear McCoy yelling for Spock to stop, to let go. He felt terror at seeing Sarek held up high, his hands frantically clawing at the arm about his throat. Sarek struggling for breath, and losing the battle as his face began to flush green. Spock was killing his father. Kirk couldn’t even comprehend why, or how to prevent it. As Sarek began to slow his fight and slacken, Kirk heard himself yelling for Spock to stop, when suddenly he let go and Sarek dropped limply into the water. It was instinct that controlled now. Kirk heart pounded and he held his terror at bay as he grabbed up the Vulcan underneath the surface and pulled him out. He yanked him around so that he might press into his abs to force out any water but Sarek was already coughing and sucking great lungfuls of air, thankfully. McCoy was upon him in the next instant. Sarek was still limp but conscious. Kirk held him tight so he wouldn’t slip back into the water. He glared at Spock, who looked pale and confused. “What the hell have you do “He attacked you,” Spock said quietly, but looked as if he wasn’t quite sure. “He didn’t,” Kirk said, his voice cold. Spock looked very confused. “Why would you let him…” “I seduced him. He responded with less control than I imagined. That is all.” McCoy looked angry, disgusted, but did not direct it at anyone but his instruments. Spock stared at Kirk. “Jim, I don’t think you understand…” Kirk released Sarek into McCoy’s care and stepped up close to Spock, almost nose to nose. “I know you two don’t always get along…” A snort erupted from McCoy at that. Both ignored him. “…but perhaps we were getting along too well for your comfort.” Spock had always been somewhat jealous of Sarek’s popularity and social abilities. He had a feeling that Spock would feel defensive, but not to the point of trying to kill his own father. Spock shook his head at that. “Father had no control, Jim.” It was strange that Spock didn’t call Sarek by his name as he usually did when angry with him. But then, he didn’t look angry at all either, which was strange. Kirk pressed his lips tight. Sometimes Spock could be a little naïve and conservative, perhaps too young to understand the darker edges of sexual pleasure. “He didn’t hurt me.” At least nothing besides some internal abrasions, but he wasn’t about to tell the son that the father was somewhat rough in his excitement. He had already known that control would be an issue in that way, and he had pushed Sarek even when Sarek had warned him not to. “He was forming a mating bond,” Spock said. “Did you agree to that? Now? Here?” Kirk was shocked to his core. But he knew that Sarek wouldn’t intentionally force such on him. Perhaps he only imagined it. He looked over at Sarek, still weak and dazed. “Yes,” Sarek said. “I was. I could not help myself. There is no excuse.” Kirk looked back to Spock. His eyes were warm and sad as he looked at his father. “I was afraid this might happen. That is why I have wanted him bonded before this.” Sarek would not look at anyone. “My son, you are correct. It was foolish of me to come here.” “You have never been foolish, Father, only hopeful. I would wish you another choice as favorable as Amanda, but you are out of time.” Spock stepped over and sat next to his father. He started to reach for his father’s face but looked apprehensive. Sarek shook his head. “Do not put yourself through that, my son. It was my error, and I will remedy it.” Kirk felt his back straighten. “Wait Spock, if there is another way. Some way to give him some time…” “No!” Sarek said. “He has done enough for me already.” “But if there is a chance…” Kirk felt frustrated with his Vulcans again. They could be so focused on only the surest possibilities that they sometimes seemed like a navigation-less ship careening headlong into only what would come. “I’m open to any other possibilities,” McCoy offered into the silence. But it was as if he didn’t speak at all. Not even the slightest ripple in the argument. He shook his head. “Vulcans,” he muttered. “I must leave,” Sarek said. He moved shakily, but his strength seemed to be coming back quickly. Even the possibility of being allowed the time to change Sarek’s mind seemed to dissipate with the steam rising from the water. And he was out and dry and dressed too quickly as the others seemed wrapped in their own thoughts twisted with doubt and confusion. Spock looked saddened and guilty as he turned to Kirk. Kirk grabbed his arm and squeezed. Often he felt sorry for Vulcans and their biology, but in retrospect, Spock had done the right thing. Had Sarek bonded them, he never would have forgiven himself. Even if it could work out, Sarek would have likely sabotaged it with his own belief that he had trapped Kirk and that Kirk might have wished for someone else. It had to be done with both their consent. Sarek had always understood that, but had been too weakened to control his body’s need. As Sarek turned to leave, Kirk stepped over to walk with him. Sarek turned and shook his head. “Please, it is best if we stay apart as best we can until…” I am bonded, Kirk filled in and felt saddened at their chance ending. If anything, he was even more drawn to Sarek, and felt the hurt more now at the likelihood that he would lose Sarek to another ice princess, and that that might even be the better scenario, because he wasn’t sure that Sarek would bond at all. He could still choose his freedom through death. He would be allowed that, and Spock might never know some of the reasons, if he should ever know before it was too late. He wished that Sarek would tell Spock of his first marriage. He couldn’t help but believe that Spock might be more open to another possibility if he knew what his father truly feared. He was tempted to tell Spock himself, but how could Sarek then trust him, even if everything should work out for the best? He was told such in confidence, something he had never told his son. They collected up their things after getting dressed and slipped ahead so that Sarek would not have too much of a lead. He was afraid of arriving at the cabin and finding Sarek cleared out and gone before he might say anything more. Not that he knew what might change anything, but there had to be some way to get through to these stubborn Vulcans. The path Sarek would take might be far darker and more permanent than Spock realized. There had to be a way to open their eyes. He stepped over the ridge and saw Sarek standing close to the lake staring at something. Heard a squalling that sounded so wrenching and sad. He was confused until he spied a mother doe off to the side, nervous of Sarek but fearful for what must be her fawn out on the frozen lake, and in trouble from the sound of it. He had a bad feeling as he hurried his way down the steep path. He had to wonder if Sarek’s appearance had frightened the deer, causing the little one to step where it shouldn’t and slip in. He had to wonder what Sarek intended so close to the lake. When Kirk finally could see what would come of it, it was already too late. Sarek had tried to help the fawn by inching a stick underneath, but he was precariously laid out now upon the ice to do so. The fawn was pulled up and skittered, almost skating on the ice as it scampered toward its mother, and then Sarek turned to see Kirk just as they both heard the cracks begin. Kirk dove for a leg. But even before his hand reached it, Sarek was all but gone into the icy water. Kirk dove in just as he heard yells behind him. The cold hit him like a punch in the stomach. His whole body ached fiercely as if being squeezed of its life and at the same time on fire. He focused on his goal, imagining the heavy, muscled Vulcan dropping like a rock. Pushed straight down sweeping his hands, until he felt an arm swing by and then a leg. A Vulcan would panic, he knew, as they were so unused to being immersed in water, and the cold would all but cease their common sense and rational thought. Too often, Vulcans had to be stunned to get them out safely, but then there was the danger of dying from pneumonia because of the water they tended to swallow when unconscious. Kirk grabbed at the ankles and pulled as hard as he could, but he seemed to barely move, only kept him from slipping further. He pulled again, but his feet only seemed to slide underneath instead of propelling him backwards. Then he felt someone grip his back and then his shoulders. Felt two others pulling at him, and he and Sarek came out of the water in a whoosh, both gasping for air and Sarek shuddering and curling into a fetal position, trying to keep what was left of his warmth. Kirk rolled toward them and saw that Sarek’s eyes were glassy and unseeing as McCoy and Spock rubbed him quickly to keep his circulation going. McCoy said something to Spock. Spock stood, picked Sarek up and started jogging at a good clip toward the cabin. McCoy did not even meet Kirk’s eyes; just started running with a glance back to make sure Kirk was following. Kirk’s whole body ached and shook so that he could barely keep his feet under him. They arrived at the cabin quickly and Kirk saw Spock rushing for the bathroom with Sarek still limp over his shoulder, then the water shower was turned on. By the time he stepped in and closed the door, little could be seen but blurry beings in the steam. His pushed through. Spock and McCoy were stripping Sarek, fighting his sodden and heavy clothes. Kirk started unfastening all that he could reach and hoisting out the drenched clothing. He followed their lead and rubbed all of the skin that he could reach. As the water heated beyond what a human could take without being burned McCoy and Kirk backed out and Spock continued with the rubbing as McCoy ran his scanner and Kirk collected up towels for the wet bunch, turned up the heat in the cabin and stoked the fire to roaring. He stared at the fire, realizing that it was a good analogy for what Sarek would endure if he didn’t choose a bondmate. Death in a frozen lake would have been likely preferable. He had to wonder if Sarek had considered that when he wrestled with the logic of risking his life for a fawn. Not that Kirk knew he would even survive. And the possibility of Sarek not surviving hurt far more than he thought it should, and he realized he couldn’t just let Sarek continue on as he had. He arrived back into the bathroom for a mutual drying session, as three towels first focused on Sarek until he was dry and almost raw, then Spock dried himself quickly as Kirk picked Sarek up and carried him to the couch readymade with multiple, ultra-warm fibered blankets ready to fold over him, like a big Vulcan burrito. Kirk sat back and stared at Sarek with his rumpled, wavy hair and relaxed face and wished he could have seen him this way after a far more positive activity. He looked up and noticed Spock and McCoy watching him. “Why did Father do this?” Spock looked at Kirk now, as if he knew the answer. “Surely he would have weighed the risks of such. His life, his future is too precious not to put more thought into such dangers.” He stared back at Spock. “Perhaps it is a matter of perspective.” “I do not see how his life is any less valuable, no matter the perspective.” Spock looked irritated and confused. “But a future can look so, can it not?” Kirk asked quietly. Spock stared at him. “I do not understand.” McCoy was also completely confused, but seemed to want to keep out of it. Communication had always seemed for want among the Vulcans, yet seemed to create answers where none seemed to have been. If one was talking, he was just going to shut up and hope for the best! “Perhaps you are missing some information,” Kirk said. “I follow the events of my father’s life with care,” Spock argued. “Nothing should cause him trepidation over his own future as it has been planned.” “You haven’t always been around to follow those events…” Kirk couldn’t help but listen in however, before and during the tea preparation. “Perhaps he was still too dulled by my choking him, not to judge clearly the danger?” Spock began. “Your father was married once before Amanda.” McCoy said. “Sybok’s mother…” Spock looked curious at the non sequiter. “Of course.” “How much do you know about her, about their marriage?” McCoy asked casually, too casually to Spock’s ears. Spock was suspicious. The question was personal, and McCoy seemed to have some ulterior agenda. “My father never discussed his first wife or marriage.” McCoy stared at him. “Did you ever ask?” Spock looked down and away. “It was one of the few times he raised his voice at me. He later apologized, but I never asked again.” “Interesting,” McCoy said. Spock was now curious at where this was heading. “My father is a private person. He also lives in a media spotlight, as you humans call it.” “Strange then, isn’t it,” McCoy said. Spock stared at him. “That he prefers something he gets little of?” “No, that he all but disappeared just about the time of his first marriage. No longer at his job, no longer in school. Not even a picture of him outside of her compound for what was it…about eight years.” Spock stared at that. “I had thought that a strange gap in his health records that he sent me after his operation. As if he dropped out of the galaxy.” “Perhaps he was healthy and engaged in projects within the compound?” Spock guessed, but he didn’t sound confident. Preventative medicine, as in check-ups, was more logical and more economical. It prevented most of the more expensive and dangerous procedures. The whistle interrupted, and Kirk slipped away to take it off the thermal burner. He was sure that Spock heard him creep up again. “Amanda had him wrapped around her finger from what I’d seen, but she couldn’t keep him from his work, even when she worried about it affecting his health. And he has always made time for his yearly check-ups any other time in his life. Like clock-work, in fact.” Spock looked almost amused. “Are you implying that my father was imprisoned?” McCoy held his eyes without even a touch of humor. “Can you imagine him giving up his work, his teaching, even his child?” Amanda became quite upset once when I asked her about it. She was almost in tears. Said she couldn’t talk about it Spock looked troubled now. But Sarek started to shift, pulling Spock's attention back to his father. Kirk brought in the tea, just as Sarek opened his eyes. “James…” he said, as if he hadn’t thought he would see him again. His tone had more warmth than he likely intended, for he turned and looked surprised at Spock and McCoy staring down at him. “I think you cannot say that I have never been foolish now, my son,” Sarek said. “Father, we must talk.” “Of course, my son. You are right to question my judgment. I put all of you in danger.” “Why is there an eight-year gap in your health records?” Spock asked, getting to the heart of the matter. Both McCoy and Kirk cringed. Spock was now quite motivated to understand, but far from delicate. Sarek froze, and paled at that. He looked at Kirk, who did a fair impression of confusion and concern. After all, he might not have figured the connection to the records himself. He submerged any guilt at his trail of breadcrumbs. “I am unsure of the relevancy to what has transpired,” Sarek said coolly. Spock did a fair impression of surprise, as if he were just now realizing the coincidence. “It would coincide with your first marriage. Were the records lost, perhaps?” “No, they were not lost.” Sarek said. He did not meet any of their eyes, which was telling to all. “And I still do not understand the relevance of this?” McCoy laughed to lighten the mood of the room. “In my day, when one disappeared that long it meant they’d had a nervous breakdown.” Sarek looked angry. “I was not confined for issue with my mental faculties.” McCoy laughed again. “It almost sounds as if you were saying you were confined for some other reason.” He tried not to smile at using the ambiguity for a direct hit. Both Spock and Kirk grimaced. It was the Un and Less Subtle. Sarek was silent for several beats. “I would rather not discuss my personal life with outworlders, Spock.” His voice was soft, not accusing. McCoy and Kirk smiled at each other. They had hit a nerve; Sarek would not have knowingly insulted them without being upset about something. “Then, Father, you will not have any difficulty discussing this with a Vulcan…family…your own son, in fact? Perhaps a meld would be quicker and more thorough?” Sarek closed his eyes. Spock sighed at his own father’s stubbornness that seemed at least to him, the worst of any of theirs. “I am no longer a child. I have the right to know. I believe you would do the same were you concerned about an eight-year gap in my life.” “I would prefer that you didn’t pursue this,” Sarek said. His voice was dull and full of resignation. “I should have been more forthright sooner. I was lax in protecting a family member.” “It is done. In the past.” Sarek said, sounding on the verge of irritation. “Would you have me demand it? For I believe it may be the key to many things I should know. There were strange dynamics between our family and that of your first wife. Consequences followed long after. I saw things as a child that still make little sense. Lucrative alliances broken and diverted to others that should have been yours. Even a lack of respect toward you by the other family. If you want specifics…” “No, I do not.” Sarek closed his eyes at that. “We tried to protect you from it.” “I understood that, but not why,” Spock said. I remember my mother’s fury with them, and her crying. I believed she even threatened one of the males to keep him away from you.” “There was much shame in what occurred,” Sarek said. “But none of it Amanda’s” “Somehow I cannot believe a young husband, newly acquired by a clan, should bear the brunt of it? I know that your first wife was far older, far more powerful.” “It would do you no good to know more,” Sarek said. “I am more concerned with you, Father.” “I have dealt with it,” Sarek said, almost perfunctorily. “Then it will not be such a trial then for me to know?” Spock said. Sarek sighed. “You will not let this be.” “I will not,” Spock replied. Sarek stared into his son’s face but saw only steely determination. “It is your right, then.” Kirk had not seen Sarek looked any more defeated. Spock settled down next to him. Kirk and McCoy stepped away so that they appeared to have left, but kept close enough out of concern for both. It started off as all melds do, the concentration seeming to extend for too long, and then the slightest tightening of Spock’s lips, then his closed eyes tightened and his whole face grimaced. He shuddered and gasped. “Father,” he said softly, and seemed in pain, and eased his hands away. His eyes appeared vacant yet glistened. Sarek looked saddened by his son’s pain. “I had wished you never to know,” Sarek said. He touched his son’s hand, then held it. “I am sorry to cause you this pain.” Spock stared at him in anger. “Sorry for me?” “You are angry with me,” Sarek said. “Yes, I did not handle it well. I understand your judgment.” Spock looked affronted. “My judgment of you?” His face flushed with anger. Kirk and McCoy looked concerned. Had they made a huge mistake? “You were almost a boy when you were married to her!” Spock was shaking. He calmed himself. “What they did to you…” And suddenly, realization hit and he turned toward his father. “They did not allow you near a doctor because then the evidence would have been clear.” Sarek did not respond to this. McCoy looked shocked and shook his head. He had seen shadows of this evidence years later in the records, but a Vulcan’s privacy was paramount and therefore served to further protect the abusers. He had had an inkling, but Spock’s reaction clarified it. “I would understand if you wanted me to leave,” Sarek said. “This cannot make anyone feel comfortable.” “No!” Spock said. “You will not leave.” Sarek looked surprised at that. “This does not lower my esteem of you in any way, Father. It raises it. There was much I did not understand about you, much that made me angry with you. Much of that seems clearer. I understand much more now.” “Surely your holiday will be smoother should I leave,” Sarek said. “No!” All three said, almost in chorus. “We have much more to learn of one another. Much more to understand.” Spock looked determined, sounded like he was giving a command, and then remembered what his father had been through then. He looked up at him, “…if you would like.” Sarek all but smiled at that and nodded. “It does not however take care of the original problem.” Spock looked as if he had forgotten for a moment, then looked at Kirk and looked somewhat embarrassed. “With all of the melds we will be sharing, it should suffice for me to build your control back day by day.” Sarek looked surprised. “If you agree, of course,” Spock added again. “Of course, my son,” Sarek’s eyes were shining at this. I have little else to hide from you… Spock’s eyebrows rose at that. “…and none of it important,” Sarek finished, then looked confused. “I had thought you were set upon my rebonding to thouest chosen for me?” Spock looked chagrinned. “I was concerned at the alternative.” Sarek looked concerned, then looked at Kirk. Spock shook his head. “That you would choose not to rebond. That I would lose you.” Sarek looked away from Spock. Kirk didn’t miss the guilt in his eyes. “I will think less on that and more on other possibilities,” he said. “And you shall never repeat the likes of your first marriage,” Spock said. “I can assure you that.” He looked to McCoy. “I think it is past time we adjourned for a long walk.” McCoy smiled at that. “Perhaps we should make your father more comfortable…in the bedroom…” Kirk perked up at that. “I think I can take care of that, providing his control isn’t at issue.” “Far less so, thanks to my son,” Sarek piped up in answer. Spock turned at that and he and McCoy headed off on their longer walk. Sarek watched Kirk watch them leave. His eyes scanning his body. Kirk caught the look and grinned down at the length of him. “You have some unfinished business, I think…” Sarek watched Kirk unfasten his pants and pull them down. Kirk watched the flame alight in Sarek’s eyes and pulled away the layers of blankets, to discover a raging hard-on underneath. He pulled his pants from his feet and was swooped up and onto the couch faster than he thought possible. Sarek was atop his backside and thrusting between his buttocks before Kirk could take a breath. “Whoa there, take it easy…” Kirk was laughing. Sarek slowed his pace to a soft, sensual slide between the buttocks now and teasing taps about the entrance. “Is this easy enough, James?” His tone was teasing, his voice breathy. Kirk squirmed, now realizing that Sarek had him gripped tightly so that he could do little but be teased. As Sarek only continued to tease him, Kirk realized his mistake, and likely the Vulcan’s intent, that he now had plenty of control, and likely hours to make that point. As Sarek slid his tongue up Kirk’s neck and purred in his ear, the Vulcan realized he liked this new game of playing with the impertinent human. Like a cat with a toy filled with catnip. “We have hours. And I will hear them as they arrive. We can move most slowly at this.” The feeling of control, of dominance was intoxicating to the feline descendant. He could bring his new human to all levels of excitement as he did his last. This human had no idea how a measure of control and orchestration could increase lust and peak an orgasm, no idea why Amanda so often smiled when she spied her husband. It would only be a matter of time. Likely more quickly and far longer than James could imagine… The End |