Daniel was back,
the meetings were over, and the SGC was being shut down. Jack still felt he and
Daniel had something to take care of.
Jack saw Daniel
head into the locker room and followed him in. “Daniel, my place. 1900 hours.”
Jack said in his usual manner, indicating he had a problem with something
Daniel had done.
“No, Jack,” Daniel
replied, as he began changing his clothes.
Jack had been
heading out the door not expecting Daniel to refuse; he turned and stated, “No?
What do you mean, no?”
Daniel sighed;
he’d figured Jack would fight him on this. “I’m sure you understand the meaning
of the word no. It means negation, as in I’m going home tonight, Jack.”
“Daniel, it wasn’t
a request.” Daniel had never refused before. Jack wasn’t sure what was going on
in Daniel’s head.
“Since the SGC is
no longer, that means I don’t have to follow your orders. I’m tired and I don’t
want to deal with whatever issues you have with me tonight.” Daniel grimaced as
he pulled his injured arm while putting on his shirt.
“The SGC hasn’t
shut down yet. You’re still a member of my team, and you’re still my friend. I
think we need to talk about what’s bothering you.”
“Well I don’t,”
Daniel stated, closing his locker.
“If you don’t come
to my place, I’ll follow you to yours. I’m not going to let you go off on your
own tonight.”
“Jack!” Daniel
snapped. “Why can’t you leave me alone? I don’t want or need company.”
“I think
you do,” Jack stated with finality. “Your choice, my place or yours,”
Daniel groaned.
“Fine, yours. I need to take care of some things before I leave though.”
“Good, I’ll pick
up takeout.”
“Please don’t get
Chinese,” Daniel requested. He didn’t really like it anymore.
“I thought you
liked Chinese food.”
“I used to. Just
get anything else.”
“Yeahsureyebetcha,
I’ll see you in thirty minutes then?”
“Yeah, thirty
minutes.”
Daniel drove out
of the mountain not entirely sure where he was going to go. He didn’t want to
go to Jack’s, but if he didn’t, Jack would just show up at his place. He didn’t
have anywhere else to go. He took his time, arriving at Jack’s ten minutes
late.
As he knocked and
entered the house, he heard Jack call from the kitchen, “You’re late, Daniel.”
“So sue me,” he
said, a little too loud.
Jack met him at
the doorway, glaring at him. “What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”
“Nothing, except
for the fact you ordered me to be here when all I wanted to do was go home.”
“Well, get over
it. You’re here now.” Jack handed him a plate of Thai food. “Let’s eat.”
“Great, Jack,
Thai. Good change from Chinese,” Daniel said sarcastically, not taking the
plate. “I’m not hungry.”
“Daniel, I know
you haven’t eaten all day,” Jack said, still holding out the plate. “You need
to eat.”
“Dammit, Jack. I’m
a grown man, let me make some decisions for myself.” Daniel stormed into the
living room.
Jack set both
plates on the counter and followed Daniel. “Daniel, stop giving me attitude and
tell me what’s wrong. I’m your friend.”
“Yeah, right. Real
good friend,” Daniel muttered.
Jack had had
enough. He walked over to Daniel, grabbed him by the wrist, and turned him
around. “I am your friend, Daniel. So tell me what the hell is bothering you.”
Daniel tried to
pull away from Jack, but couldn’t break free. “Friends believe each other,
Jack,” he stated, attempting to pry Jack’s fingers from his wrist.
Jack released him.
“Dammit, Daniel, not the alternate universe thing again.”
“Yes, Jack.”
Daniel argued, “Why should I listen to you, when you won’t believe me?”
“It’s not that I
don’t believe you,” Jack admitted. “It’s just a hard story to comprehend.”
“Sure it is, but I
was there. I know it happened. Those people, our friends, even you Jack, died
to give me a chance to save this earth.” Daniel began pacing, waving his arms.
“What good did their deaths do? No one here will believe me.”
“Daniel…” Jack
tried.
Daniel didn’t give
him a chance to finish. “They were planning to save themselves, Jack. Gate to
another world, but I convinced them to let me go back to the planet. To save
this world. I should have just died in the other universe.” Daniel stopped
pacing. He leaned against the fireplace, facing away from Jack.
“Daniel, stop
talking like that,” Jack insisted.
“What’s the
point?” Daniel stated in resignation. “The SGC will shut down, the ships will
come, and we’ll all be dead anyway.”
“What do you want
me to do about it, Daniel?” Jack asked. He would help if he thought they had a
chance, if he could believe.
“We need to gate
to the coordinates I found,” Daniel insisted, turning around. “It’s the only
way.”
“What if I agree
to consider it?” Jack offered. “Will you stop fighting me?”
“Will you?”
“Yes,” Jack
agreed, “we’ll talk to Carter and Teal’c tomorrow and see what they think.”
“Okay,” Daniel
said, feeling better.
“I’m not
guaranteeing we can do anything, you know.”
“I know.”
“Will you eat
something now?” Jack questioned, hungry himself.
“Yeah, I think I
could eat something now,” Daniel admitted.
“Good. We’ll
probably have to heat it up though.”
“No problem.”
After they ate,
Jack began the conversation he’d wanted to have. “Now, about you not following
orders.”
“Jack, do we
really have to deal with this tonight?” Daniel didn’t think Jack would bring up
the topic after what had gone on earlier.
“Daniel, I
listened to you. Respect me enough to listen to me,” Jack reprimanded.
“Sorry.” Daniel
replied.
“That’s okay. Why
didn’t you follow us when I told you to?”
“You didn’t give
me a reason,” Daniel argued. “There were all those artifacts that could have
proved useful, and you just ordered me to leave it all behind.”
“So you agree you
knew it was an order,” Jack stated again.
“Yes, Jack,”
Daniel admitted reluctantly. “I knew it was an order, okay.”
“And you disobeyed
that order,” Jack pushed.
“Yes, I disobeyed
the order.” Daniel couldn’t argue Jack’s logic, as much as he wanted to.
“Thereby taking a
risk with your life, and by default, the rest of SG-1’s and the search team's
lives.”
“What are you
talking about?” Daniel didn’t know anything about this. “The place was
deserted. What risk was there?”
“It had been a
Goa’uld occupied world,” Jack explained. “Teal’c said the atmosphere would have
been poisoned.”
“I didn’t know
that,” Daniel replied, worrying at his thumb.
“It’s not your job
to know,” Jack stated firmly, “It’s mine, and it’s my job to get my team out of
a dangerous situation. Which is what I was trying to do by ordering everyone
back to the SGC.”
“If you’d told
me…” Daniel tried again.
“I shouldn’t need
to tell you everything,” Jack scolded. “I was doing my job, and you ignoring
me, put everyone in danger.”
“I’m sorry,”
Daniel apologized, “but you know I don’t work that way.”
“That doesn’t
excuse your behavior,” Jack insisted.
“I agree,” Daniel
said quietly, “it doesn’t.”
“Now, about
Senator Kinsey,” Jack went on.
“He’s an ass.”
Daniel knew Jack couldn’t argue that point.
“Yes, he is,” Jack
agreed, “but I believe I told you not to tell him about the alternate
universe.”
“It didn’t matter,
Jack,” Daniel protested. “He’d decided to shut us down before he set foot
inside the mountain.”
“Perhaps,” Jack
conceded. “However, your little revelation didn’t help matters. If you’d
waited, we might have been able to use the information later.”
“Jack…”
“Daniel, you know
I’m right.” Jack had hoped Kinsey would not have shut the program down so
quickly, and he might not have if he didn’t think Daniel was nuts.
“Fine, you’re
right,” Daniel agreed to make Jack happy. “He just made me so angry.”
“I know.” He’d
ticked Jack off too, but military regulations had prevented him from going too
far. “So, are we going to follow through with our agreement?”
“What’s the
point?” Daniel argued again, sitting back on the couch. “The SGC is over.”
Jack sighed in
frustration. “The point is you’re still taking too many risks with your life.”
“What are you
planning to do? Follow me to my next job?” Daniel asked sarcastically.
“Maybe,” Jack
agreed. If he wanted to keep Daniel alive he might need to. “But we still need
to deal with the present. Besides, you know you’ll feel better afterwards. You
always do.”
“Yes, I’ll admit I
do, for whatever reason.” Daniel did know he felt better afterwards, that
didn’t mean he liked the process.
“So let’s get it
over with,” Jack suggested.
Daniel stood up.
“Same rules as last time?”
“Same rules.”
They’d done this before. They both knew the rules.
“I tell you when
to stop?” Daniel wanted to make sure he was in control.
“You tell me when
to stop,” Jack agreed.
“Okay.” Daniel
undid his pants, dropped them, and bent over the armchair.
Jack asked, “What
are you being punished for, Daniel?”
“For disobeying
orders, thereby placing myself and others in danger,” Daniel recited, knowing
what was expected.
“Including
disobeying me about talking to Kinsey?” Jack asked.
“Yes,” Daniel said
in frustration, “including Kinsey. He is an ass though.” Daniel couldn’t help
but make that point one more time.
“I agree. Tell me
when to stop.” Jack expected Daniel to stop him early this time, given how much
he had argued.
Daniel felt
differently. The first stroke caused him to yelp and then he went silent,
except for the tears. Jack continued laying on the strap, covering Daniel’s
backside, sit spot, and thighs. Daniel still didn’t tell him to stop. Jack
stopped on his own. “Daniel?” he questioned. Daniel didn’t answer. “Daniel!” he
said louder.
“What?” Daniel
muttered.
“Are you okay?”
Jack was concerned by Daniel’s lack of response.
“I’m fine,” Daniel
insisted breathlessly. “Why’d you stop?”
“I’d had enough.”
Jack figured it was a good answer.
“Oh,” Daniel said
angrily, “I thought that was my decision.”
“Do you want me to
start again?” Jack asked incredulously.
Daniel stood up
then and fixed his clothes. “No. I’m not stupid,” he answered, still sniffling.
“I’ve never
thought you were, Daniel.” Something was still wrong and Jack wanted to find
out what it was. He went to comfort Daniel like always, but Daniel backed away.
“I’m fine, Jack.
I’m just going to go home now.” Daniel began to walk towards the front door.
“What are you
talking about?” Jack began to worry more. “You’ve always stayed here before.”
“Fine, I’ll stay
here,” Daniel said, tired of fighting. “Good night, Jack.” He walked off towards
the bedroom. He had not met Jack’s eyes since the strapping was over.
“Good night,
Daniel.” Jack decided to let it go for now, but he would be keeping an eye on
his young friend tonight. In the morning, they would talk.
The talk came
earlier than either one expected though. About an hour after Daniel had gone to
bed, Jack heard him screaming. Not unaccustomed to each other’s nightmares,
Jack entered Daniel’s room with the intention of waking him up. Turning on the
light, he saw and heard Daniel screaming, “NO!” His eyes were open, but he was
still caught in the nightmare. Jack placed his hand on Daniel’s upper arm to
wake him, forgetting about the staff blast injury. However, the pain did bring
Daniel out of his nightmare.
“Owwwww,” Daniel
screamed, grabbing at his shoulder. “Dammit, Jack. What do you think you’re
doing?”
“I’m sorry,
Daniel,” Jack apologized, sitting on the bed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was
only trying to wake you up. You were having a nightmare.”
“Well, you
certainly woke me up.” Daniel sat up in bed, grimacing when his backside hit
the mattress. “Shit. Jack, I think I have some pain pills Janet gave me in my
pants pocket,” Daniel said, pointing to his pants lying over the end of the
bed.
“Sure.” Jack went over to search the pants. He found a bottle
and held it up so Daniel could see.
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“I’ll be right back.” Jack left the room and came back with a
glass of water. “Here. Do you need to eat anything with them?”
“No, I’ll be fine.” Daniel swallowed the pill, and then
finished off the water. “Thanks,” he said, handing the glass back to Jack.
“You’re welcome.” Jack put the glass on the nightstand. Daniel
didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, but Jack didn’t want to let it go. Some of
the best conversations he’d had with his dad, had been in the middle of the
night. He sat on the bed next to Daniel, not making eye contact. “Do you want
to talk about it?”
“Not really,” Daniel answered, worrying at his thumb.
“It might make you feel better.”
“I’ve already told you what it was about,” Daniel replied, his
voice weary. “You just won’t believe it’s real.”
“Tell me again,” Jack prodded. “Maybe I’ll have a more open
mind this time of night.”
“Right,” Daniel said sarcastically.
“Please?” Jack asked sincerely.
Daniel caved. “Fine. I was dreaming of Catherine standing in
the control room. I was on the ramp waiting for the Stargate to open so I could
return here. The blast doors were dropping when I heard the staff blasts blow
her away.” He turned to face Jack. “Jack, they could have dialed their beta
site and saved more of their people, but I convinced them to send me
back to the planet where I found the mirror. I convinced them I had a chance to
stop here, what was happening to them there, but it was all for nothing if
nobody will believe me.”
“It’s not that we don’t believe you, it’s just…”
“Just stop, Jack,” Daniel said without harshness. “Admit it at
least. Admit that you don’t believe me. It’d be easier than listening to your
lies.”
Jack shifted to face Daniel, his expression stern. “You stop,
Daniel. Give me a chance. Listen to me, like I listened to you.”
“Sorry,” Daniel responded.
“I want to believe you. I really do. You always are right.”
Daniel raised his brows in surprise. “Well, almost always right. It’s just,
even Carter is having a hard time working through the logistics.”
“So,” Daniel stated flatly, “you trust Carter more than me.”
“No, yes, I don’t know.” Jack rubbed his neck. “I believe, you
believe, what you say happened. And I do trust you.” ‘More than I’m willing to
admit,’ Jack thought. “But I’m not the one needing to be convinced. I don’t
have the power to carry through your plan.”
“We could figure out a way to gate to the coordinates I have,
with or without permission.”
“And risk court martial.” Jack sighed.
“Which is more important, Jack, the chance of jail time.”
Daniel paused. “Or saving the earth?”
“You know my answer to that.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I’ll risk whatever I need to beat the Goa’uld.” Jack thought
for a moment. “I’ll tell you what. Tomorrow, we both talk to Carter and Teal’c.
Get their input. If they agree, we’ll do whatever it takes to find out if
you’re right.” Daniel started to argue, but Jack held up his finger. “Daniel,
two people aren’t enough. If I thought it was, I’d gate to those coordinates
with you myself. We need Carter and Teal’c if we want to have a chance. Deal?”
“Deal.” It was better than the chance he’d had before,
although he knew, he’d do it by himself, even if he couldn’t convince the
others. “I think the pain pill is kicking in, Jack. I’m getting sleepy again.”
Jack took the hint. “Okay, Daniel.” He helped Daniel get
settled under the blanket, which was difficult with both his arm and backside
sore. “No more nightmares?”
“No more nightmares, Jack,” Daniel answered. “Good night.”
“Good night, Daniel,” Jack said, as he turned out the light
and left the room.
The next morning Jack made pancakes for breakfast. He’d placed
a cushion on Daniel’s chair, something Daniel was grateful for. Jack noticed
Daniel was finally eating. Not wanting to discourage him, Jack waited until
they were done to bring up a concern he’d had about the night before.
“Daniel?” Jack said, concern evident in his voice.
‘Great,’ Daniel thought, ‘more to discuss.’ Aloud he said,
“Yes, Jack.”
“Why were you still so angry last night?”
“I wasn’t angry, Jack,” Daniel lied, dropping his eyes.
“Daaannniel,” Jack groaned.
Daniel knew Jack didn’t believe him. “Fine, Jack. I was
angry.”
Jack stared at him waiting. “Well?”
“Well what?” Daniel questioned, being difficult.
“Daaannniel.”
“Okay, okay.” Daniel took his plate to the sink. “Last night.”
He hesitated not knowing how honest he wanted to be. “Last night, you told me I
was in control.”
When Daniel didn’t continue, Jack replied, “Yes, I did. What’s
the point?”
“You gave me control.” He turned around. “But then you took it
away.”
“I couldn’t keep strapping you, Daniel. I have no intention of
beating you.” Jack had continued far longer than he’d wanted to in the first
place.
“I would have told you when I’d wanted you to stop,” Daniel
insisted. “I wasn’t ready.”
“Daniel, I don’t know how you took what I gave you in the
first place.” Jack knew firsthand how much a belt on the backside could hurt.
“I know how much I can handle.” Daniel was leaning against the
counter, arms crossed.
“What are you talking about?”
“I wouldn’t let you use a belt on me, if I didn’t want to. As
much as you have a need to punish me for being reckless,” Daniel informed him,
hesitantly, “I have a need to feel release.”
“Oh,” Jack said, speechless. Jack had only thought of the
deterrent factor inherent in the strapping, not what Daniel would get out of
it.
“You didn’t let me reach that point. You didn’t trust me,
again.”
Jack was shocked. “It wasn’t a matter of trust, Daniel. It was
a matter of understanding. I’ve never really considered what you got out of it.
My only intention was to make you want to be safe, by desiring to avoid the
pain.”
“Jack, think back to when your dad strapped you.” Daniel
waited. “Do you remember it?”
“Yes, Daniel.”
“What were you thinking?” Daniel asked.
“That it hurt,” Jack replied simply.
“After that, Jack.” Daniel sighed. Now Jack was being
difficult.
“That I didn’t want to get strapped again.” That had been
Jack’s main reason for thinking first.
“Now, think back to the times you didn’t get caught,” Daniel
pushed. “When you weren’t punished. How did you feel?”
Jack remembered clearly what he’d felt, and it hadn’t been
lucky. He replied honestly, “Guilty. I felt guilty.”
“Did you feel guilty after a strapping?” Daniel questioned.
“No, I’d been punished.” The light bulb went on. Jack added,
“My dad always forgave me.”
“Now you know why I let you do it, Jack,” Daniel stated. “What
I get out of it.”
“I’m beginning to understand, Daniel.” Jack was beginning to
understand. He wasn’t totally there yet, but it was a start.