Devil You Don’t Know

By RPonda

 

Part 1

 

Jack, Daniel, Sam and Martouf were all captured by Apophis, while they were trying to rescue Jacob/Selmac from Netu. Apophis threw them in the pit and announced his takeover to the rest of the residents. Apophis hated Daniel Jackson for being Ammonet’s host’s husband. His rage only grew when Daniel, himself, told him he’d stolen the Harcesis child from Apophis. Apophis intended his offspring to be his next host, only to have his plan ruined by the interfering Tau’ri. Ready for revenge, Apophis ordered his guards to bring the irritating Tau’ri and Tok’ra to him.

 

The four men and one woman stood in front of the Goa’uld. “Kneel before your god!” Apophis ordered. Not expecting them to obey, his guards slammed the backs of their knees giving them no choice.

 

Jack spat out, “What do you want?”

 

Apophis ignored him; instead he walked directly to Daniel. “You are never going to leave here!” he spat in Daniel’s face.

 

Grabbing Daniel’s hair, Apophis dragged him to the middle of the room. “You are the one who will pay for the trouble you’ve caused me.”

 

Jack’s attempt to intervene was cut short when his guards grabbed him by his arms and held tight. “I’m the one in charge, you snake. I’m responsible for your deaths.”

 

Apophis responded without ever letting go of Daniel. “Be that as it may, torturing this one,” he shook Daniel’s head, “will be my pleasure. Oh, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find time for you, too.”

 

“Tie the rest and gag them. I will enjoy watching them watch this one being harmed.” Quickly the guards tied and gagged the other four.

 

Daniel’s attempt to free himself from Apophis’ grasp was rewarded with a backhand across the face. He shook his head to clear it when he heard Apophis say, “You are wearing too many clothes for what I intend to do with you. Guards, strip him.” Daniel fought even harder, afraid of what the Goa’uld planned to do to him. Unfortunately, the guards punched him in the stomach and proceeded to remove every piece of clothing. Kneeling naked and held tight by the guards, Daniel awaited his fate.

 

Apophis sat on a chair. “Bring him to me.” Daniel was dragged by his arms to face Apophis. “You will pay for what you have done,” he sneered.

 

Daniel yelled, “You got what you deserved. You’re not a god, just a symbiote which can’t survive without a host!”

 

After backhanding Daniel again, Apophis grabbed his arm and threw Daniel face down over his lap. “This is only the beginning. Soon, you will suffer greatly.”

 

Daniel was still trying to fight when his wrists and ankles were latched onto, holding him in place.

 

“You see,” Apophis began, “I get off on pain and suffering. I get such a good feeling inside when I hear my victims beg me to stop. Humiliating you will also bring me joy. And I know just the way to humiliate and violate the human male.”

 

Daniel couldn’t hold back his shiver of revulsion when Apophis began to fondle his butt. What was worse, he knew his friends were being made to watch.

 

“But first,” Apophis said, as he slapped his hand down on Daniel’s right butt cheek, “the pain.”

 

Due to the Goa’uld symbiote, Apophis was extremely strong. From the pain Daniel felt, he realized Apophis planned to due a lot of damage. Fighting against the pain, Daniel bit his lip in an effort not to cry out. Just when he was about to lose the battle, Apophis stopped and said, “Then the humiliation.” Apophis rammed his finger into Daniel’s anus.

 

“No!” Daniel screamed, although he knew it would only feed Apophis’ emotions.

 

“Ah, you speak. Don’t worry, I have so many more pleasures to inflict on you.” Apophis moved his finger inside Daniel to find his prostate. He’d also been careful to place Daniel’s cock between his own legs so the friction would help Daniel get hard. Apophis knew the shame Daniel would feel as his body betrayed him.

 

For Daniel’s part, knowing he couldn’t control his body’s responses didn’t make him feel any better about it. Fighting Apophis only encouraged his cock to respond faster, but there was no way he could stop himself.

 

Removing his finger, Apophis starting smacking Daniel’s thighs all the way to his knees. Once Apophis turned the skin a fiery red, he inserted two fingers in Daniel’s ass. He thrust in and out while gripping Daniel’s cock between his legs.

 

Tears were streaming down Daniel’s face unbidden. When Daniel felt he was about to cum, Apophis pulled out once more. “Not yet, my pet. I have more pain to inflict,” he hissed, “before the pleasure.” Daniel couldn’t find any pleasure in what was being done to him. Apophis returned to smacking Daniel’s butt and thighs. Dark bruises were forming from the intensity of the slaps. Daniel would have difficulty sitting or even walking for a long time to come.

 

At the point Daniel thought he would lose consciousness, Apophis stopped hitting him and started finger fucking him again. This time, Apophis didn’t stop until Daniel came all over his lap. Giving Daniel one more smack on the butt, he asked, “Did you enjoy yourself? I certainly did. I can’t wait for our next session.” Then he ordered the guards to return the filth to the pit.

 

No one knew what to say after being returned to the pit. Any one of them would have preferred being tortured him or herself than to have had to watch what Apophis had done to their friend. Daniel had been thrown to the ground by the guards. He stayed lying on his stomach, not having the energy or desire to move. Although Daniel was too exhausted to care about being naked, Jack covered him with his shirt.

 

“Apophis is a sadistic bastard!” Jack exclaimed, sitting down next to Daniel, rubbing his back.

 

Daniel sighed, “You won’t get any argument from me.” Daniel understood Jack meant well. “If you don’t mind, Jack, I’d rather be left alone right now.”

 

“You need to have Carter check you out. Make sure you’re okay,” Jack said, worried about the damage Apophis had inflicted.

 

“You already know I’m not okay, but I will be. And there’s nothing Sam needs to check. I’m not hurt that badly.” Daniel had no intention of letting anyone check him out.

 

Sam still tried, “Daniel, I might be able to help.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Daniel stated sarcastically. “They took everything we had that could have helped me. What do you think you could do? Just leave me alone and let me rest.” He turned his head away from them and closed his eyes.

 

Finally getting the hint, Jack and Sam went to the other side of the pit where Martouf and Jacob were sitting.

 

“Will Dr. Jackson be alright?” asked Martouf quietly.

 

Jack sighed, “I hope so. He’s been through a lot in his life and managed to bounce back. I hope this won’t be what pushes him over the edge.” Jack decided to deal with what he could. “So, anyone have a plan to get us out of here?”

 

“The rings were our only hope, Jack,” Jacob answered. “Without access to them, we have no means to transport off Netu.”

 

“What about Teal’c? He’ll probably be back soon to rescue us.” Jack was pulling at straws.

 

Sam replied, “Sir, we don’t even know if Teal’c survived the fire fight. We can’t rely on him to help us.”

 

Jack was frustrated by his helplessness. “Fine, Carter. Since you’re so optimistic, how do you propose we get out of hell?”

 

Trying not to take Jack’s mood personally, Sam answered, “I don’t have a proposal, Sir.”

 

“Great. So we sit back and wait until Apophis comes back to torture Daniel again.” Jack leaned against the wall with his head in his hands. Waiting was not something he was good at.

 

A few hours later, Jack woke Daniel from a nightmare. Even though he figured the answer would be no, Jack asked anyway, “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really.” Daniel knew Jack thought the nightmare was about Apophis. He only wished it was. Apophis’ treatment of him had reawakened other nightmares from his childhood. Memories he’d hoped had been buried for good.

 

Jack held out his canteen. “Do you want a drink?”

 

Daniel rolled onto his side wincing. “Sure.” After taking a few sips of water he handed the canteen back to Jack. “Sorry for what I said earlier.”

 

“No problem. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Besides, you’re allowed to be grumpy.”

 

Daniel smiled. “Thanks, Jack. When do you think he’ll come get us again?”

 

“You slept for about three hours, as far as I can figure. So, I don’t know. The longer the better.” Jack wished he could do something, anything other than waiting. He looked at Daniel. “We’ll get through this you know.”

 

“I know, Jack. Ever the optimist.” Daniel was anything but optimistic. Apophis detested him and would do everything he could to hurt and humiliate him.

 

Noticing Daniel close his eyes again, Jack patted his shoulder, saying, “Rest, Daniel.”

 

Daniel didn’t get to rest much longer. They heard the clanging of the cell door, before they saw the guards with weapons drawn. There were at least two guards for each of the prisoners. They weren’t taking any chances. This time they bound their hands behind their backs before shoving them forward. Daniel tried to get up to walk, but didn’t move fast enough. The guards grabbed him and drug him out, all the while trying to get his feet under him.

 

All to soon they reached Apophis’ chambers. Not wanting to be injured since escape would be harder, everyone knelt on their own. Daniel was thrown to the center of the room. With difficulty, he managed to rise to his knees.

 

Apophis began, “So nice to have all of you witness round two. I’m sure you will enjoy it as much as I will.” Noticing the shirt around Daniel’s waist, he yanked it off. “You will have no need of this.” Motioning to the guards, he ordered, “Stand him up.”

 

The guards grabbed him by the arms, stood him up, and let go. Amazingly, Daniel held his own and remained standing. He glared at Apophis defiantly, but didn’t speak.

 

Apophis walk over to a table and removed his hand device. Turning back to Daniel, he said, “I’m giving you a chance this time. I am no longer wearing a weapon. I plan on raping you. If you can pin me, I won’t.”

 

Jack was appalled. In the state Daniel was currently in, he didn’t have a chance against the Goa’uld’s strength. “Why don’t you try me!” he screamed. “I’ll challenge you!”

 

Apophis walked over to Jack and grabbed his chin. “I appreciate your offer. I may still take you up on it, after I’m through with your friend.” He turned to the guards. “Gag them!”

 

Walking back to Daniel, he questioned, “Ready.”

 

Daniel knew he didn’t have a chance, but he wasn’t giving in without a fight. He threw a punch, connecting with Apophis’ jaw. Apophis turned his head and laughed. Then he backhanded Daniel, knocking him to the floor. Daniel rose as quickly as he could, surprised Apophis waited for him. Apparently, Apophis wanted to drag this out. Daniel decided a kick to groin might make it difficult for Apophis to follow through with his threat. Unfortunately, Apophis blocked it. Instead, he received a blow to the stomach.

 

Hunched over to catch his breath, Daniel attempted a head butt. He succeeded in knocking Apophis’ head back. Angry now, Apophis grabbed Daniel and threw him face down on the ground. Daniel knew it was over, but still tried to buck the Goa’uld off. Apophis straddled Daniel and dug his fingers into Daniel’s hips. Apophis leaned over Daniel and hissed in his ear, “Now you will feel what your wife felt every time I raped her.” Apophis released his cock from his pants. He placed himself between Daniel’s legs while lifting his hips. Daniel bit through his lip in an attempt to not scream at the pain caused by Apophis raping him with no preparation. Though Daniel’s emotional pain was no less severe, he couldn’t deal with it at the moment.

 

Apophis pulled out and thrust back over and over, enjoying himself thoroughly. He found Daniel’s prostrate, hitting it over and over to make Daniel hard. He reached under Daniel and pumped his cock to the same rhythm of his thrusts. Soon, they both reached orgasm at the same time. Apophis screamed in ecstasy, while Daniel screamed in despair.

 

Apophis pulled out, ignoring the blood and semen dripping from Daniel’s anus. He cleaned himself off and tucked himself in. “Return them to the pit. Check him in an hour to see if he’s still bleeding. Inform me if he is.”

 

Once again they landed in the pit. Jack was worried about Daniel. As soon as they’d returned, Daniel curled up into a fetal position and refused to respond to anyone. Martouf covered him with his shirt this time. Everyone gathered on the opposite side of the pit from where Daniel was lying to talk. Jack never took his eyes off his friend.

 

“Sir, we need to get out of here,” Carter said, stating the obvious.

 

“For crying out loud, Carter. You think I don’t know that,” Jack hissed. “Tell me how to do it and I’ll make it happen.”

 

“I’m sorry, Colonel. I just can’t stand to see what Apophis is doing to Daniel.” She stood up and went to sit next to her dad.

 

“Sorry, Carter. It’s not you, it’s just, you know.” Jack waved his hands towards Daniel.

 

“I know, sir. We’re all worried about him.” Sam leaned into her father’s arms and closed her eyes.

 

The only interruption was when a guard came in to see if Daniel was bleeding. Fortunately, he had stopped, and they left him alone.

 

No one else talked until they heard Daniel scream.

 

Jack rushed over to bring him out of his nightmare.

 

“No, not again. You’re hurting me. I don’t like this. Stop!” Daniel screamed over and over.

 

Jack grabbed Daniel’s shoulders and shook him. “Daniel, wake up! It’s Jack. You’re okay. Come on, Daniel.”

 

Suddenly Daniel opened his eyes. He looked at Jack, his eyes filled with tears. Instead of accepting Jack’s comfort, he rolled over to his other side and closed himself off.

 

“Come on, Daniel. Don’t do this to me. I need you to talk to me,” Jack pleaded. “You’re scaring me,”

 

“I don’t give a damn what you need, Jack. I need to be left alone.” Daniel refused to turn around.

 

Jack tried again. “Daniel, it’s not good for you to shut yourself off like this.”

 

Daniel interrupted, “You don’t know what’s good for me, Jack. I handled it my way before, I can handle it my way again.” ‘Shit,’ Daniel thought. ‘Why did I say that?’

 

Jack picked up on what Daniel had implied. “Daniel, what are you talking about, ‘you handled it before’. When did you have to handle it before?” Daniel rarely discussed his past. Now Jack thought he might know why.

 

“You don’t want to know, Jack, and I don’t want to talk about it.” Daniel pleaded, “If we manage to get out of this situation, I’ll talk to you then. For now, I need you to leave it alone. Please.”

 

Jack respected Daniel’s wishes, even though he didn’t agree. “Fine, Daniel. However, when we get out of here, we will talk about this.”

 

“Sure.” Daniel closed his eyes again, wanting to zone out, but not sleep again. He couldn’t take another nightmare.

 

Jack sat back down with the others.

 

Jacob asked, “Is he okay?”

 

“No. Something else is going on, though he won’t talk about it.” Jack didn’t have long to think about Daniel before the guards came back.

 

Expecting to be taken back to Apophis, everyone stood up. “Stand back. Apophis only wants to see this one, this time,” said the guard, pointing at Daniel.

 

Jack stepped forward only to have the guard point the staff weapon at his chest. “Do not interfere.”

 

The other guards grabbed Daniel under the arms. He didn’t even try to hold his own weight.

 

Daniel was forced to kneel at Apophis’ feet. “What the hell do you want?” Daniel demanded.

 

“I have a proposal to make. I find that I am enjoying our time together,” Apophis leered.

 

“Don’t I feel special,” Daniel mocked.

 

Apophis continued, “You should, for I have decided I wish to keep you. I also want you to agree to stay with me.”

 

“It’ll never happen,” insisted Daniel.

 

“Don’t be so sure. If you’ll submit to my rule, I’ll let your friends go.”

 

Daniel asked, “Go where? There’s nowhere to go on this god forsaken moon.”

 

Apophis informed him, “That is where you’re wrong. I can allow them to use the rings to transport to the planet.”

 

“They would be killed the moment they arrived.”

 

“Perhaps, but if they don’t take the chance, they will die anyway. Also, if you refuse to submit to me, I will take want I want from you and then take from each one of your friends in turn. I believe the woman shall be next.”

 

Daniel paled. “May I discuss it with my friends?” He had already made his decision, but wanted a chance to talk with them again.

 

“Certainly. I will give you two hours. Then I will send for all of you. Your behavior will tell me your choice.” Apophis told his guards to help Daniel up. Daniel waved them off and walked back to the pit under his own power.

 

The others were surprised to see Daniel walk in on his own. Apparently no worse than when he’d left. He came over and grimaced as he sat down with the rest of them.

 

“What’s up?” Jack asked first.

 

Daniel thought about how to tell his best friend what was going to happen. “Apophis wanted to talk this time.”

 

Sam asked, “About what?”

 

“About all of us. He’s planning on letting you use the rings to escape.” Daniel wouldn’t look anyone in the eye.

 

“Daniel, why the hell would Apophis allow us to escape!?” Jack yelled at him. “What are you not telling us?”

 

Daniel cringed. “You’re right. There is a catch.” Daniel took a deep breath. “He wants me to submit to him, of my own free will.”

 

Jack stood up, pacing. “No way, Daniel. You are not going to do this!”

 

“Jack, sit down. There’s no other choice. If I don’t agree, he’s going to do the same thing to all of you, that he’s been doing to me.” Daniel sighed. “I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.”

 

Sam spoke up, “Daniel, you don’t have to do this. We’ll find another way out of here.”

 

Daniel questioned, “What way, Sam? There is no other way. If I do this, you’ll have a chance to get away.” Daniel stared at his hands. “Besides, if you get away, you can come back and rescue me.”

 

Jack turned around. “And if we can’t?”

 

“At least I’ll know you’re safe,” Daniel said quietly.

 

“This isn’t right, Daniel. You shouldn’t be the one to have to do this.” Jack sat down in front of Daniel. “I should be the one to stay.”

 

“He doesn’t want you, Jack. He wants me. I guess I ticked him off more than you did.” Daniel pleaded, “Jack, please don’t make this any harder than it is. It’s not like I want to do this.”

 

“Then don’t,” Jack insisted. “In fact, I’m ordering you not to do it.”

 

“Then I refuse to obey your order. I can’t allow any of you to be tortured by Apophis when it’s in my power to stop it.” Daniel was tired of arguing with Jack.

 

Martouf asked, “How do you know he will honor his word? You have no reason to trust him.”

 

Daniel sighed, “I don’t know he will. Either way doesn’t matter. I have to take the chance. I have to give you the chance. Come on, guys. There isn’t much time before he’s going to send for us. I don’t want to spend it arguing.” He rubbed his forehead.

 

Sam moved over to sit beside Daniel. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the thought of you staying here with him.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Sam. I’ll survive.”

 

“Yeah, like you survived before?” Jack brought up again.

 

“Drop it, Jack,” Daniel warned.

 

“It’s not over yet, Daniel.”

 

Daniel responded, “Yes, it is, because I refuse to talk about it anymore.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine.”

 

No one talked for a few minutes. They were all lost in their thoughts.

 

Apophis sent for them all to soon. Everyone stood up. Sam grabbed Daniel and hugged him. “Don’t do this, please. We’ll find another way,” she whispered in his ear.

 

“Just remember to come back for me,” he whispered back.

 

“As soon as we can, Daniel. I promise.” Sam let him go wiping away the tears threatening to escape.

 

Jacob hugged him and wished him well, while Martouf patted his shoulder.

 

The only one left was Jack. They stared at each other for a moment before Jack pulled him into a bear hug. “You don’t have to do this,” Jack insisted.

 

Daniel sighed, “Yes, I do, Jack. Just, please don’t interfere. This’ll be hard enough to get through as it is.”

 

“I can’t promise, Daniel.”

 

“Jack. Don’t ruin my chance to get you out of here.” Daniel stared Jack down.

 

Jack let go and stood behind him. Daniel removed Martouf’s shirt and handed it back to him. “I won’t be needing it.”

 

They were led back to Apophis’ chambers. Apophis ordered, “Kneel before your god.”

 

Daniel immediately walked up to Apophis and knelt at his feet. “Yes, my lord,” he stated with his eyes downcast, hands on his thighs.

 

Apophis patted him on the head. “Ah, I see you have made your decision.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

“And have your friends also agreed with your decision, or will I need to restrain them again?”

 

“You will not need to restrain them, my lord. They will honor my decision, as I’m sure you will honor your promise.” Daniel so hoped Jack would comply with his wishes.

 

Apophis stroked his hand down Daniel’s cheek until he lifted up his chin. “Look at me, my pet.” Daniel’s eyes unwillingly rose to meet Apophis’. “I will keep my promise, as long as you keep yours.”

 

“I will keep my promise, my lord.” Daniel cast his eyes down once more, not wanting to look at Apophis any more than he had to.

 

“Very well, let’s begin.” Apophis stepped back from Daniel, picking something up from the table next to him. He walked back over to stand in front of Daniel. “My pet needs a collar and leash,” he said, leaning down and attaching a wide metal collar to Daniel’s neck. The collar locked in place with the leash hanging down Daniel’s chest.

 

“I am in need of satisfaction. You will suck my cock until I am fully pleasured. Are you adept at this practice?”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Daniel answered. ‘Oh god,’ Daniel thought, ‘I hope I can live with myself after this.’ Daniel had been instructed on how to give a blowjob, but it was never something he did by choice.

 

Apophis undid his pants, releasing his cock. Daniel reached up to begin, when his hands were slapped away. “Only your mouth, my pet.” Daniel placed his hands back on his thighs. He looked up to see Apophis’ cock in front of him, already half hard. He began to lick the length, when Apophis grabbed his head and thrust himself into Daniel’s mouth.

 

Daniel recovered himself, realizing he wasn’t going to be in control. He was Apophis’ plaything. Daniel did his best to deal with Apophis’ pace and control of his thrusts. Not being given a choice, Daniel swallowed Apophis’ length when it was shoved into the back of his throat. When he was released, Daniel would fight for a breath before Apophis would thrust again. Just when he thought he would pass out, Apophis orgasmed and Daniel swallowed as fast as he could.

 

Apophis released Daniel, tucking himself back in. Daniel dropped his head, attempting to control his nausea. “Very nice, my pet. I will enjoy the pleasures you will give me.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Daniel choked out.

 

Apophis sat down. He gestured to Daniel. “Come, kneel by my feet.” Daniel crawled over on his knees. Unfortunately, he knew what was expected of him. He kept his gaze on the ground. There was no way he could meet his friend’s eyes. It was bad enough to know they’d witnessed Apophis use him when he was fighting back, but to know they’d witnessed him submit to the experience, was so much worse.

 

“And now I will keep my promise.” Apophis gestured to his guards. “Place them in the center of the rings.”

 

“Daniel!” Jack yelled, as he was being moved.

 

“Do you wish to say goodbye to your friends?” Apophis asked Daniel.

 

“No, my lord.” There wasn’t anything he could say that hadn’t already been said. He never raised his head until he heard the rings descend. He regretted doing so then, when he saw Jack’s face.

 

“Guards leave.” So ordered, the guards left the room and closed the door. Taking hold of Daniel’s leash, he said, “Now, I believe we shall take this to the bed. Rise and follow me.” Daniel resigned himself to his fate, and followed. “Lay down on your back.” Daniel did as ordered. Apophis took the chain and attached it to the head of the bed. He sat down on the bed beside Daniel. He stroked down Daniel’s chest with the tips of his hand device. “It’s about time I fully take advantage of all the pleasures you have to offer.” Daniel shuddered at the touch. It was all he could do not to strike out at the monster touching him. Getting beaten wouldn’t do him any good.

 

Apophis’ stroking soon became deeper, digging into Daniel’s skin and leaving red welts across his torso. Daniel couldn’t keep himself from groaning at the pain. “Never pleasure, without some pain, my pet,” Apophis sneered.

 

When Apophis’ touch reached Daniel’s groin, Daniel couldn’t stop himself. “No!” he yelled, shoving Apophis away.

 

Apophis backhanded him. “You will submit! But first, you must be punished for your actions.” Apophis grasped Daniel by the shoulders and flipped him over. Daniel was too stunned to fight back. Pulling Daniel’s hands up to the head of the bed, Apophis tied his wrists to each corner. Rubbing his hand across Daniel’s back, Apophis noticed previous scarring. “I see you are not unused to punishment, are you?” When Daniel didn’t answer, Apophis smacked his butt. “Are you?” he demanded.

 

“No, my lord,” Daniel finally answered. He was all too familiar with punishments of many kinds.

 

Apophis stood up to get something from a cupboard. “I believe it is time to reacquaint you with a cane.” Apophis held a long, thin cane in his hand. It would cause great pain, without too much permanent damage.

 

Daniel tried to steel himself against the onslaught. He could remember the pain he would suffer and attempted to shut himself down. It had been a long time since he’d had to do it.

 

Apophis brought down the first stroke, leaving a welt from shoulder to hip. Daniel barely managed not to scream. The pain was worse than he remembered. “Trust me, my pet,” Apophis snarled, “you will beg me to stop before I am through.”

 

Apophis brought the cane down over and over, criss-crossing previous welts with new ones. Daniel found he could not keep himself quiet as the whipping continued. His screams filled the air, but he would not beg Apophis. When Daniel’s back was red, raw, and bleeding, he passed out. The silence caused Apophis to stop. He wiped off the cane and put it away. Running his fingers through Daniel’s hair, he said to the unconscious man, “Don’t worry my pet. I shall take my pleasure from you when you awake.” He left Daniel tied to the bed and walked out of the room to take care of other business.

 

As far as Daniel was concerned, he could have remained unconscious forever. Unfortunately for him, he once again became aware of the pain in his body and soul. When he realized he was awake, he kept his eyes closed, hoping Apophis wouldn’t notice. After a short time of not hearing anything, he assumed Apophis was no longer in the room. Slowly opening his eyes, he searched the room for any sign of his tormentor. Finding none, Daniel tested his bonds. The agony from moving his back was his only reward. He was secured tightly. Groaning, he closed his eyes, hoping Apophis would be gone for a long time.

 

Becoming aware of someone massaging his backside, Daniel attempted to move away only to feel fingers digging into his hips. “Not so fast, my naughty little pet,” Apophis growled, “it’s time for you to pleasure me again.”

 

Daniel clenched his fists wondering which ‘pleasure’ Apophis would want this time. “Yes, my lord,” he forced himself to say.

 

Apophis restarted his massage. “Worry not. This time I will merely take what I want. You need only endure and enjoy.” Lifting Daniel’s hips, Apophis was nice enough to prepare him this time. Apophis oiled his fingers before penetrating Daniel.

 

Already sore from the previous rape, Daniel groaned in pain. Apophis was encouraged by evidence of Daniel’s distress. He readied himself to impale Daniel with his cock. Apophis lost himself in his thrusts, hearing nothing but Daniel’s moans of pain, and his own moans of pleasure.

 

As he reached climax, Apophis’ head was cracked to the side, his neck breaking instantly. Jack had returned to rescue Daniel, only to find Apophis in the midst of raping his best friend, again. His rage boiling over, he pulled Apophis from Daniel and threw the dead Goa’uld to the floor. He knelt down beside Daniel’s head to gain his attention. “Daniel. Daniel, it’s Jack. I’m here. You’re safe now.”

 

Daniel, not aware yet, pleaded, “Stop, please stop.”

 

Jack brushed the hair back from Daniel’s forehead. “It’s okay, Daniel. I stopped him. Apophis is dead.”

 

“Jack?” Daniel opened his eyes, finally realizing Jack was there and not Apophis. “Dead?”

 

Jack laughed with relief. He was worried Daniel might not fully come back. “Yes, Daniel. The snake is dead. I snapped his neck. Come on. We need to get you out of here.” Jack pulled at Daniel’s tethers.

 

“Keys. Table,” Daniel muttered.

 

Jack looked over at the table. Grabbing the keys lying on it, he quickly unlocked the chains. However, none of the keys seemed to work on the collar. Deciding to worry about that later, Jack helped Daniel to stand up, being careful of his back. “Daniel. Carter’s waiting for us. We need to get to the rings.”

 

“Okay, Jack.” With Jack’s help, Daniel managed to stumble to the center of the rings.

 

Jack spoke into the communication device. “We’re in place, Major. Ring us up.”

 

Upon transporting to the teltac, Daniel collapsed. “Get us out of here, Martouf.” Jack and Sam lifted Daniel and laid him on a mattress. “Where are the first aid supplies?” Jack yelled at Sam.

 

“I have it right here, Sir, but I need room to work.” Sam knew Jack was upset with the condition of Daniel, not with her.

 

Jack moved to Daniel’s head to let her work. “Sorry, Carter. Just help him.”

 

Sam winced at the damage to her friend’s back. “It looks like Apophis whipped him, Sir,” she commented as she began cleaning Daniel’s back.

 

“I know,” Jack sighed. “He was also raping Daniel again when I arrived. You’ll need to check that out, too.”

 

“Yes, Sir.” Sam was relieved to find out Daniel wasn’t bleeding again. However, there was damage done that would have to wait for Janet’s help. “We need to turn him over on his side, Colonel.”

 

Jack helped Sam roll him over so she could treat the scratches on Daniel’s torso.

 

Daniel began to regain consciousness as she worked on him. Sam hadn’t wanted to give him any drugs until she knew what Apophis had done to him.

 

Moaning, Daniel opened his eyes. “Sam? Where am I?”

 

“You’re on a teltac we stole from Sokar, Daniel. We’re heading to the nearest Stargate so we can get you home as fast as possible.”

 

“Good.” Daniel grimaced in pain. “Hurts, Sam.”

 

Sam asked, “I want to give you morphine, but I need to know if Apophis drugged you. Did he?”

 

“No, just hurt me.”

 

“Okay. You’ll feel better in a moment.” Sam injected the morphine into Daniel’s thigh. “There you go, Daniel. Just relax, we’ll be home soon, then Janet can poke you with her needles.”

 

Daniel gave her a weak smile. “Sounds good.” He closed his eyes, falling back to sleep.

 

“He’ll be fine, Sir. I’ve done all we can for him here. How much longer until we’re home?” Sam asked Jack.

 

“Martouf?” Jack yelled out.

 

“About another hour, Colonel. Then we’ll be on a planet with a Stargate,” Martouf answered.

 

“Good.” Jack leaned against the wall. His hand never left Daniel’s shoulder.

 

 

Part 2

 

 

The next thing Daniel was aware of was the noise and the smell of the infirmary. Also, he felt Jack’s hand on his arm. Opening his eyes, he muttered, “Jack?”

 

Jack stood up and leaned closer. “I’m here, Daniel. We’re back on the base. Doc’s taking good care of you.”

 

“Happy juice?” Daniel smiled, reaching up to feel his neck.

 

“Oh yeah,” Jack answered. “Um, Carter managed to get the collar off on the ship,” he said, figuring that was what Daniel was feeling for.

 

“Good,” he replied. “How long?”

 

“About twelve hours from when I found you.” Jack was relieved to hear Daniel talking normally.

 

“You found me?” Daniel looked confused. “I don’t remember.”

 

Janet walked in. Shining her pen light into his eyes, she asked, “What’s the last thing you do remember, Daniel?”

 

Daniel closed his eyes to think. “Um, oh, wish I didn’t remember that.” His whole body stiffened.

 

Jack became concerned. “What, Daniel? What are you remembering?”

 

“Apophis had returned after caning me. He was…you know.” Daniel didn’t want to talk anymore. “I’m tired, Janet. I need to sleep some more.” He grimaced as he moved to get comfortable.

 

“Okay, Daniel. I’ll check back with you later.” Janet nodded to Jack. “Colonel.”

 

Jack, knowing Janet wanted to talk to him, told Daniel, “You get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up again.”

 

Daniel didn’t respond.

 

Jack followed Janet into her office and closed the door. “Doc? Is Daniel going to be okay?”

 

“Physically, yes. He’ll need time to heal, but there was no permanent damage.” Janet watched Daniel through the window. “Psychologically, I’m worried about him. He was tortured and raped, Colonel. He has a lot to work through.”

 

“I know what he went through, Janet. I had to watch it all.” Jack closed his eyes trying to block the images. “He’ll bounce back. He’s done it before.”

 

“Maybe, Colonel, but he really should get counseling.”

 

“He won’t talk to the shrinks. You know that.” Jack remembered some of the comments Daniel had made. “I’ll work with him. He’ll be alright.” He vowed to help heal his friend.

 

“Fine, Colonel. However, if he seems to need more help, I’ll insist he gets it before I’ll clear him for duty.” Janet had every hope Jack could help Daniel, but it was a long shot.

 

Janet kept Daniel in the infirmary for three days. Sam had only been to visit with him once. Thinking Sam couldn’t stand to be around him after what she’d witnessed, Daniel felt even more ashamed. What Daniel didn’t know, was the real reason Sam avoided visiting Daniel was the guilt she was feeling over leaving him with Apophis to save her own skin.

 

Teal’c visited, filling him in on what had happened while they were prisoners, and how Jack managed to rescue him. When Teal’c returned to the Tok’ra, they refused to assist in a rescue attempt. Forced to return to earth, Teal’c tried to arrange a rescue, but none of their allies would transport them to Netu. Teal’c was required to wait and hope the rest of his team could help themselves.

 

The ring room was luckily empty when Apophis transported Jack, Sam, Jacob, and Martouf to Sokar’s planet. They managed to avoid detection until they commandeered a teltac. Managing to lift off without arousing suspicion, Martouf piloted the ship back to the moon and used the rings to transport Jack back to Apophis’ chambers. The rest of the rescue Daniel remembered on his own the next day.

 

Jack visited Daniel as much as possible during his stay. They discussed everything except what Apophis did to Daniel. Figuring Daniel wouldn’t talk to him on base, Jack chose to wait until he was sent home to recover. Finally, Daniel was released on the condition he would stay with Jack for another three days. Hating the thought of staying in the infirmary, more than his requirement to stay at Jack’s, Daniel agreed.

 

Daniel’s wounds were healing nicely and his bruises were changing colors. Jack drove Daniel to his place to pick up the clothes and toiletries he needed for the three day stay. Then they went to Jack’s house.

 

Avoiding Jack, Daniel entered the spare room to put away his things. Jack noticed Daniel was taking longer than he thought necessary. He knocked on the door, and not receiving answer, opened the door anyways. He found Daniel lying on the bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. “Hey, Daniel,” Jack said, trying to get his attention. When Daniel didn’t responded, Jack sat down on the chair next to the bed. “Daniel, you want to talk?” Jack tried again.

 

This time Daniel answered, “No, Jack. I don’t want to talk. I just want to lay here and stare at the ceiling for a while.”

 

Jack attempted to use his ace in the hole. “Daniel, Janet won’t clear you for active duty until you talk to someone.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“So you’ll talk to me?”

 

“No. I meant, ‘Fine, I won’t be cleared for active duty’. No problem then.” Daniel’s eyes never left the ceiling.

 

Jack sighed, “It’s not fine, Daniel. I want you back on the team. I need you back on the team. The only way that’ll happen is if you talk.”

 

“Later, Jack,” Daniel said dismissively.

 

“You already told me later on Netu, remember. It’s later now. Time to talk.” Jack insisted.

 

Daniel sat up in bed. Glaring at Jack, he said, “If you won’t leave me alone, I’m leaving.” He stood up and walked to the door.

 

Jack easily beat him there and blocked it.

 

“Jack, move out of the way.”

 

“No, I’m not losing you to that slimeball, snakehead Apophis. We are going to work through this.” He placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder, only to have it knocked away.

 

“I’m not interested, Jack. Move, or I’ll move you.” Jack could feel the anger radiating off Daniel. Anger was good, he could deal with that. The apathy was what he couldn’t handle.

 

“Then move me,” Jack challenged.

 

Daniel took a swing, which Jack easily caught. He pulled Daniel’s arm behind his back, pushing him against the door. “You’re not leaving, Daniel! We will talk about what happened.”

 

Daniel fought Jack as much as he could without breaking his own arm. “You know what happened, Jack! You witnessed all of it!” Daniel yelled, as best he could with his face against the wall.

 

Jack released him. “I know what I saw, I don’t know how you felt.”

 

Daniel slid down the door to sit on the floor. He hugged his knees. “How do you think I felt? I was humiliated in front of two of the people I treasure most in my life. You saw and heard things you never should have. I feel like scum.”

 

Jack sat down next to him. “You didn’t have a choice, Daniel. None of us think any worse of you. All we felt was anger at Apophis.”

 

“We all have choices, Jack. Apophis singled me out because I baited him,” Daniel said wearily.

 

“Apophis singled you out because he’s a sadistic bastard. It wasn’t your fault. It could have been any of us.”

 

“But it wasn’t any of you, it was me, again.”

 

Jack picked up on Daniel’s statement. “You mentioned that on Netu. What do you mean, again? When did this happen to you before?”

 

Daniel shook his head. “You don’t really want to know that, Jack. I don’t even want to remember it.”

 

Jack attempted to place his hand on Daniel’s shoulder again. This time Daniel let it stay. “I do want to know, Daniel. Maybe it will help you deal with this experience.”

 

“I buried it last time, I can bury it this time,” Daniel insisted. “Just leave me alone and I’ll be fine in a few days.”

 

“No, not this time.” Jack made Daniel look at him. “I don’t know what happened last time, but this time I’m here for you. You don’t have to bury it. These problems have a tendency to reemerge when you don’t deal with them.”

 

“And you always tell your darkest secrets?” Daniel asked, glaring at Jack.

 

Jack shook his head. “No, I don’t. Before, I never had anyone I could trust to tell. You can trust me, Daniel. Give it a shot. You have enough nightmare material already.”

 

Daniel put his forehead on his knees to think. Just when Jack thought he’d lost, Daniel lifted his head. “If I talk to you, I need three things.”

 

Happy Daniel seemed willing to discuss his issues, Jack would have agreed to anything. “Anything you want, Daniel. Just tell me.”

 

“I need to get my butt off the floor before I can’t feel it. I need a beer, and I need for you to not go postal over what I’m going to tell you.” Daniel glanced at Jack.

 

Jack stood up and held out his hand to assist Daniel. “I can help with the first two, but I can’t guarantee the last one without a little more information.”

 

Daniel accepted Jack’s help with standing. “You won’t like what I going to tell you. However, it’s over and done with. I don’t want you seeking retribution for me.”

 

Jack considered what he’d been told. “I’ll do my best. That’s all I can promise.”

 

“I guess it’ll have to be good enough.” Daniel opened the door. “Let’s go get those beers.”

 

Upon entering the living room, Daniel sat down in the chair while Jack grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. Popping the top off of one, he handed it to Daniel. Then he sat on the couch across from him.

 

Daniel took a long swallow. “Where to start?” he pondered aloud.

 

“Anywhere you want,” Jack offered.

 

“Okay,” Daniel said, beginning his story. “I was fifteen. I had just been placed in what would be my last foster placement. Mr. Sampson didn’t work, but his wife did, a lot. She wasn’t around much, and when she was there, she pretended not to notice what was going on. Anyway, I realized very quickly this was one of those foster homes where all they were interested in was the money you brought in, and how they could use you.

 

“A couple days after I’d arrived I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Mr. Sampson came in and sat down close to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and left it there for a few minutes. Then he turned his head towards me and kissed me on the forehead. After another few minutes he kissed me again, on the lips. I told him I didn’t want to do it, that I didn’t like it. He insisted it was how men show affection to each other, that there was nothing wrong with it. I wasn’t a child, Jack. I was fifteen. I knew what he wanted and I didn’t want to give it to him. When he tried it again, I slid off the couch and ran to my room. God, I was hoping he wouldn’t do it again. I’ve never been that lucky.

 

“He didn’t bother me for two more days. I had gone to bed like normal, when I awoke to his hands holding my shoulders down. I was scared to death. He snarled at me, ‘If you won’t give me what I want, I take it from you.’ When I tried to scream, he slapped me across the face. He told me he would teach me to serve him. That I would do whatever he wanted or he would kill me. I believed he would. His eyes were as cold as ice.” Daniel stopped for a minute to drink some more beer.

 

Jack had a hard time listening to Daniel’s story. He despised people who abused anyone, especially children. “Did you try telling anyone what was happening?” Jack asked.

 

Daniel looked at him in disbelief. “Who would I tell, Jack. I was a foster kid. Nobody ever believed us. I’d already been in a placement where I tried to tell my social worker about the foster dad hurting me. She didn’t believe me. He’d convinced her I was a troublemaker trying to get out of helping out. He was smart, too. He rarely caused physical damage, and when he did, he isolated me until it wasn’t visible. And don’t ask if I tried to run away. I’d done it before. That’s how I was labeled a troublemaker. When the police picked you up, they just returned you to your placement.” Daniel sighed. “Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?”

 

“Sorry, go on.” Jack leaned back against the couch to continue listening.

 

“Anyways, the first thing he taught me was how to give a blow job. I hated it, Jack. He always wanted me to do it a certain way. If I didn’t do it right, he’d hit me. Every night he’d come into my room to ‘teach’ me. Eventually, I learned. I learned well. He could have given Apophis lessons,” Daniel snickered. “About two weeks into my lessons, he started this whole submission thing. I was only allowed to respond with, ‘yes, sir’ or ‘no, sir’. If I forgot, I was punished. If I fought the lessons, I was tied to the bed the rest of the night.

 

“He started making me keep my head down. I was never allowed to make eye contact. It took a long time after I left the house to stop that habit. Then I’d have to kneel in front of him whenever he snapped his fingers at me. When I’d learned enough to satisfy him, I had to make sure I was available to service him at any time. I hated taking showers. That became his favorite place to nail me.” Daniel stopped again to drink some more. Realizing the bottle was empty, he stood. “Jack, do you need another one?” Jack shook his head. He hadn’t even touched the first one after Daniel began his story. “I’ll be back in a second then.”

 

Jack leaned his head on the back of the couch. God, he hadn’t expected this. He’d thought maybe something had happened to Daniel as an adult. That would have been bad enough, but to live through this at fifteen years old. It was unthinkable. Jack so wanted to slowly kill the man who’d done this to his friend.

 

Daniel walked back in and sat down. He looked at Jack, asking, “Are you okay, Jack?”

 

Jack startled upright. “Me? I’m fine. It’s just a lot to take in, Daniel.”

 

“Do you want me to stop?”

 

“No.” Jack would have loved to stop, but he was worried about how detached Daniel sounded while telling his story. The facts were being told, but most of the emotions were being held back. Jack hoped the emotions would show up later, otherwise Daniel would never heal. “Go on.”

 

“Where was I? Oh yeah, he had me trained the way he wanted. I’d almost begun to think it was normal, almost. After three months I found out his brother was coming to visit. I thought I’d get a break; surely he wouldn’t treat me as a slave in front of others. I was so wrong. His brother was into everything also. I was made to service him, too. He stayed for two very long weeks.

 

“Believe it or not, despite everything happening to me, I managed to excel in school. It was my escape. The one place I had control, although, I think that’s why nobody suspected anything. Troubled kids always acted up in school. I was the model student. I managed to graduate early because of all the advanced classes I took. I applied to the universities through my social worker, and was accepted for summer admission on full scholarship. I was able to keep what I was doing a secret from him. He never knew until I packed my bag and the social worker came to pick me up. He was none to happy about losing me.” Daniel finished his beer. “And that’s the story. I’d buried the memories as much as possible until Apophis dragged them to the surface.”

 

Jack had trouble believing Daniel had finished. “How long did you live with him?”

 

“Four months total. Four months, three days, and five hours.”

 

“Jeez, Daniel. I’m sorry.” Jack didn’t know what else to say. He knew what he wanted to do though. He wanted to hunt the bastard down and kill him like he’d killed Apophis.

 

“Don’t be sorry, Jack. You weren’t the one who did it.”

 

“I know, Daniel. Nobody should have done it. You shouldn’t have had to live through that.” Jack wanted to comfort his friend, but Daniel’s body language screamed, ‘don’t touch’.

 

“So, I told you the story,” Daniel said acerbically. “Will you recommend me for active duty?”

 

“Whoa, just wait a minute there. We still have things to work out.” As far as Jack was concerned, Daniel still hadn’t dealt with his emotions.

 

Daniel stood up and slammed his bottle on the coffee table. “Fuck you, Jack. You said talk, I talked. Live up to your end of the bargain!” Daniel moved to leave.

 

Knowing it wasn’t over yet, Jack grabbed Daniel’s arm. This time, Daniel’s fist connected with Jack’s jaw. Jack’s head swung round, but he didn’t lose his grip. “Daniel, stop it! We’re not done yet. Yes, you told me your story, but you held back.”

 

Daniel struggled against Jack’s grip. “I told you everything. I didn’t hold back!”

 

“You held back your feelings, Daniel. You never mentioned how you felt.”

 

Daniel sagged to the floor, tears coming to his eyes. “How the hell do you think I felt? I felt like a slut. I felt used. I felt like I should have been able to stop him. I should have run away, but I stayed. I was afraid. I didn’t want to die, and I knew he’d kill me if I didn’t do what he wanted.” Daniel buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

 

Jack sat down next to him. Then he pulled him into a hug. “It’s alright, Daniel. It wasn’t your fault. He threatened you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to survive.” He continued to rub Daniel’s back as his own tears were falling.

 

Daniel slowed his cries, his breathing hitched. “At least when I was with him, no one I cared about knew what he’d done to me. I never told anyone. I could have handled Apophis assaulting me in private, but he made you watch. You saw how I can be. You know what I’ve done. And I hate myself for it.”

 

Jack pulled back to look Daniel in the eye. “You have nothing to hate yourself for, so stop saying that. No one has lost any respect for you. When I look at you, all I see is a man, my best friend, who did what he had to, to save his friends. You are not to blame.”

 

Daniel dropped his head to his chest, hugging himself. “Sam blames me. I saw it in her eyes the one time she visited me.”

 

Jack lifted Daniel’s head again. “Daniel, Carter does not blame you,” he insisted. “I don’t know exactly what she’s feeling, but I know it is not blame. She probably feels guilty for leaving you with Apophis like I do.”

 

“Jack!” exclaimed Daniel. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you hadn’t left me, everyone would be dead now. There wasn’t a rescue coming. We were on our own.”

 

“You are my responsibility.” Jack lowered his eyes. “I should have found a better way.”

 

“Jack, I don’t blame you. You only did what I needed you to do. I just,” Daniel paused, “I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me, after what he’d done to me.”

 

“Daniel, there is nothing you could do, or nothing that could be done to you, that would keep me from being your friend.” Jack hugged him once more.

 

“You’re sure? Not even knowing about what I did in my past, bothers you?” Daniel needed reassurance he hadn’t revealed too much.

 

“Of course it bothers me.” Jack felt Daniel shrink into himself. “It bothers me because I care about you. It bothers me because I so want those sons-of-a-bitches to pay for what they did to you. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You are my best friend. Nothing will change that.”

 

Daniel pulled away, wiping at his eyes. He was exhausted. “What about Sam?”

 

“Talk to her. Tell her what’s bothering you. I’m sure she’s afraid you don’t want her around.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“I know so.” Jack stood up, his knees creaking. He reached out a hand to Daniel. “Come on. I think we’ve both had enough for one night. You need to sleep.”

 

Daniel grabbed Jack’s hand and stood up. “If I sleep, I dream,” Daniel stated simply.

 

“And if your dreams turn into nightmares,” Jack said, putting his arm around Daniel’s shoulders, “I’ll be there for you.”

 

“Thanks, Jack.”

 

“You’re welcome, friend.”

 

Daniel went to sleep, but Jack stayed up in case Daniel did have nightmares. He was watching Simpsons reruns, when he heard the screams. Running into the bedroom, he found Daniel fighting invisible demons. “Daniel, wake up!” he called loudly, knowing not touching Daniel would be better. “Daniel!” he yelled again.

 

This time Daniel came to awareness. “Jack? What’s wrong?”

 

Jack sat down on the bed next to him, helping Daniel sit up. “You were having a nightmare,” Jack told him. “Was it Apophis or your foster father?”

 

Daniel looked tormented. “Neither, Jack. It was a whole other nightmare.”

 

“Want to tell me about it?” Jack asked. Daniel looked incredulous. “Okay, let me restate that. Daniel, tell me about your nightmare.”

 

“Is that an order?” Daniel questioned.

 

“If it needs to be,” Jack answered. “I’d rather you tell me because you want to or need to.”

 

“Fine, Jack,” Daniel replied, “but not here. I’m hungry and thirsty. Let’s move this into the kitchen.” Daniel scooted off the bed and left the room, not caring if Jack followed or not.

 

Of course Jack did follow. Daniel made himself a sandwich and poured a glass of water. Then he sat at the table. Jack poured himself a glass of water, sitting down across from him. “Well?” Jack asked.

 

“You won’t let it go, will you?” Daniel asked.

 

“No, I can’t,” Jack answered. “You need to talk about it.”

 

“According to you,” Daniel said irritably.

 

Jack sighed. “Daniel, stop stalling and fighting me. Just get on with it.”

 

Daniel gave in. Maybe it would do him good to tell someone else what he had done. This time though, it had been his choice. He had not been forced and he was not sure Jack would either understand or accept him after he knew. “I was in grad school,” Daniel began. “I was twenty years old and had just finished my first year. I was out of money and had just been kicked out of my apartment. I was forced to live on the streets. I tried to find a job, but no one would hire me.” Daniel ate some of his sandwich, taking a break.

 

Jack didn’t say anything, so he continued. “I’d been living in this alley for a week. A fellow grad student, Henry, saw me and stopped to talk. I’d had one class with him, but had never really gotten to know him. He asked me what was going on, so I told him. Then he asked me if I’d ever had sex with guys. I was honest. I told him I had, but I wasn’t gay. He said he didn’t care. He liked sex, and he’d be willing to supply me with room and board if I would agree to have sex with him whenever he wanted. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he gave me his address and told me if I changed my mind to come by. I put the address in a safe place. After another three days of living in the alley and eating food out of dumpsters, I became desperate. I packed up the few belongings I still had and showed up on his doorstep. He let me in, showed me where the shower was and said we’d talk after I was clean. When I was done with my shower, we sat down in his living room and he explained what he wanted.”

 

Daniel stopped again. “Jack, I’m not sure I want to tell you anymore.”

 

“Why?” Jack asked.

 

“I did things I’m not proud of,” Daniel explained. “I-I don’t want to lose your respect,” he admitted. “That would hurt more than anything anyone did to me.”

 

“Daniel, you will not lose my respect,” Jack assured him. “It sounds as though you were just trying to survive.”

 

“Maybe,” Daniel agreed. “I don’t know. It seemed so at the time, but I always wondered if I could have done some thing different.”

 

“Why don’t you just continue your story,” Jack suggested.

 

“Okay.” Daniel started from where he left off. “Henry told me that he wasn’t interested in relationships, just sex. If I would be available to him when he wanted, I could live with him for free. If I could find a job, he would work around it. I asked him if was into any BDSM. ‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘but I play safe. I won’t do anything we both don’t agree on.’ I’d already been through enough, but I was tired of living on the streets. I agreed.”

 

“How long did you live with him?” Jack asked.

 

“For the summer, until school started in the fall,” Daniel answered. “Once I was clean and presentable, I was able to find a job. I saved all my money so I could get my own place.”

 

“How did you pay for school?”

 

“I had a scholarship. However, it only covered tuition, not living expenses,” replied Daniel. “I hadn’t adjusted to adulthood very well. I didn’t know how to deal with my own finances. Henry actually helped with that. Aside from everything he required of me, he taught me how to budget and keep track of everything I needed to.”

 

Jack wondered about something. “It doesn’t sound like it was a bad situation, Daniel. So, why were you having a nightmare?”

 

“It wasn’t that bad, until the last week. Henry expected me to do what he wanted, but he wasn’t sadistic. I had to do things I didn’t enjoy, but he didn’t hurt me. Then he threw a party. His friends knew why I was living with him, that I was at his beck and call. Two of them decided they wanted a piece of me, too. They managed to trap me in the back bedroom. Then they raped me. That was the nightmare,” Daniel said, finishing his story.

 

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Daniel.” Jack would support his friend, but he wondered what other secrets were hidden in Daniel’s past.

 

“It’s over now, Jack. It’s in the past,” Daniel insisted. “All that’s left are the nightmares.”

 

“Then it doesn’t seem like it’s over, does it?” Jack questioned.

 

“We both know nightmares are a part of both our lives, Jack,” Daniel pointed out. “If you’re going to make me continue to talk about my nightmares, I think it’s time you started talking about yours.”

 

“For crying out loud, Daniel. You’re the one who has to deal with his issues right now.”

 

“Well, I’m done. I’ve told you more than I’ve ever wanted you to know. Any more talking that’s done will be done by you.”

 

Jack wasn’t about to start talking about what fed his nightmares. “Fine, we’re done talking then.” He noticed Daniel had finished his late night snack. “You ready to try sleeping again?”

 

“Not that I think it will happen, but yeah,” Daniel replied. He stood up and placed his dishes in the sink. “Night, Jack.”

 

“Good night, Daniel.” This time Jack did go to bed, hoping his own nightmares would stay away.

 

Daniel was worried the next morning. Jack hadn’t said much during their middle of the night conversation. At least not enough so Daniel knew how Jack felt about him. He got out of bed, took a shower and went downstairs. Jack was sitting out on the back porch reading the paper. Daniel poured himself a cup of coffee and went outside. He leaned his arms on the railing and stared at the view. “It’s a beautiful morning, Jack,” he commented.

 

“Yes, it is,” Jack agreed.

 

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Jack became uneasy. “Daniel, is everything alright?” he asked.

 

“Sure, Jack,” Daniel answered. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

 

“You just seem awfully quiet,” Jack replied.

 

“No quieter than you,” Daniel pointed out.

 

Jack was appropriately stung by the comment and let it drop.

 

Daniel didn’t. Without turning around, he continued talking. “I’ve told you a whole lot about myself the last day and a half.”

 

Daniel didn’t continue, so Jack said, “Yes, you have.” Wondering where Daniel was going with this train of thought.

 

“You said your opinion of me wouldn’t change.” Daniel hesitated and then continued. “I find it hard to believe it hasn’t.”

 

“Why?” Jack asked. He walked over to Daniel, wanting to be able to see his face. “Why should my opinion of you change?”

 

“Why wouldn’t it, Jack,” Daniel said with resignation. “I sold myself. I allowed men to use me.”

 

“You survived, Daniel. That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Jack assured him.

 

“Then why do I still feel shame whenever I think about what I did?” Daniel stepped down the stairs and began walking across the yard.

 

Jack hurried to follow him. “Daniel, stop. You’re not alone.” Jack drew a deep breath, steeling himself.  Now, he knew had no choice.  He'd have to give Daniel a little of himself.

 

Daniel stopped and turned to face Jack. “What are you talking about?” he asked, arms tight across his chest.

 

“I’ve had a few things happen to me I’d rather no one knew about,” Jack replied.

 

“Yeah, well no one forced you to talk about it before they’d let you go back to work,” Daniel said bitterly.

 

“I’m military, Daniel. Of course they made me talk.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “I had to debrief after every mission. If they didn’t think I was handling it the way I should, they sent me to the shrink.”

 

“And I bet you got really good at telling them what they wanted to hear,” Daniel mumbled.

 

“I won’t deny that,” Jack agreed.

 

“Well, did I tell you what you wanted to hear?” Daniel asked sarcastically. “Am I going to be cleared for duty?”

 

“Daniel, that’s not my point,” Jack said.

 

Daniel didn’t give Jack time to think. “Then what is your point?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jack started pacing. “I was going to tell you about one of my missions, but now I don’t know.”

 

“What don’t you know?” Daniel was angry. He knew that. However, he wasn’t sure whom he was angry with. Unfortunately, he spoke before his brain could think. “Don’t know if you can top my story? Or don’t you know if you can trust a slut?”

 

“Daniel, shut up!” Jack yelled, grabbing Daniel’s shoulders. “Just shut up. I’m not trying to top you, and you are not a slut.”

 

“Top me,” Daniel said, pushing Jack away, too far gone to stop. “That’s a good one. Might as well top me, since I’ve only bottomed.” At that point Daniel broke. The tears started to flow. “God, Jack. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

 

Jack embraced his friend. “Daniel, it’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing Daniel’s back. “Let it go.” Realizing they were standing in the middle of his backyard, Jack said, “Come on. Let’s move into the house where it’s more comfortable.” Jack led Daniel across the yard, up the steps and set him down on the couch. He got them each a drink of water.

 

Daniel finished his all at once. He handed the glass back to Jack. “Thanks,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry I lost it.”

 

Jack sat on the coffee table. “You had every right to lose it, Daniel,” Jack insisted. “You’ve kept a whole lot of feelings bottled up inside you for years.” Jack knew the feeling. Maybe someday he would share them with Daniel.

 

“Yeah.” Daniel rubbed his forehead. “I never told anyone about either incident. Never wanted to. Still wish I hadn’t,” Daniel admitted.

 

“I’m glad you did,” Jack assured him. “You’re not a slut, you know. You’re a survivor.”

 

“Survived Hell, didn’t I?” Daniel said with more energy.

 

“We both did,” Jack insisted.

 

“And you’re okay with what you know I am?” Daniel asked, still needing reassurance.

 

“Of course I’m okay with who you are,” Jack agreed. “You are my best friend. You are one of the strongest men I know. You are a compassionate human being, more than I will ever be. And you are a survivor.”

 

Daniel reddened at Jack’s statement. “Thanks, Jack.”

 

“Do you believe me?” Jack questioned. He knew how hard it was for Daniel to forgive himself.

 

“I’m trying to, Jack,” Daniel admitted. “I’m trying to. It’s hard though.”

 

“Don’t give up until you do believe,” Jack said. “That’s an order.”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Daniel said, saluting.

 

Jack cuffed him across the head and gave him another hug.