Demons

By RPonda

 

They were back. Safe and sound from their mission where they’d been captured by the Unas masquerading as the Devil. However, Jack wasn’t a happy camper. They’d had the chance to leave, and Daniel stopped them. He decided he and Daniel needed to talk. He entered the locker room. “Daniel, my place 1900 hours.”

 

Daniel sighed. He understood the implications. He knew he had an agreement with Jack. There were times, however, he regretted making that agreement. This time was one of them. “Fine, Jack,” he agreed, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to refuse. When Jack made up his mind, he rarely changed it.

 

Daniel arrived at Jack’s house a little early and sat in his car, thinking. He knew what Jack was angry about. He just wasn’t sure he agreed. When it was 1900 hours exactly, he got out of his car, knocked and entered. Jack was stirring something in a pot on the stove. “What’s for dinner?” Daniel asked. Normally Jack or he brought take out.

 

“I thought soup would taste good tonight,” Jack told him. “If that’s okay with you.”

 

“That’s fine,” Daniel replied.

 

“It’s ready. Why don’t you grab two bowls out of the cabinet,” Jack suggested.

 

Daniel got the bowls the held them out while Jack spooned up the soup. Then he sat down at the table. Jack grabbed two beers and the spoons and also sat down. Daniel tasted the soup. It was good, but he had no appetite. He started off the conversation. “I’m here because I wanted to save Mary, aren’t I?”

 

Jack sat his spoon back in the bowl. He knew he should’ve eaten before Daniel came. “No, you’re here because you risked your life, and Sam’s, and mine, to save Mary,” he explained.

 

“I couldn’t let them drill a hole in her head, Jack,” Daniel said in his own defense. “And neither could you.”

 

“Well, you never gave me the chance to find out, did you?” Jack asked. “You split off from the team.”

 

“I would have caught up with you,” Daniel insisted.

 

“You knew there wasn’t a chance in Hell I would have left you in the village alone,” Jack said raising his voice.

 

“That’s your problem, not mine!” Daniel yelled back. He stood up and started pacing.

 

“Dammit, Daniel!” Jack yelled. Then he took a deep breath. Very calmly he said, “I’m not going to get into a screaming match with you. We need to discuss this like two adults.”

 

Daniel was already on a roll and couldn’t calm down. “Oh no, Jack. You’re not pulling that on me this time. I will discuss this issue any way I damn well please.”

 

Jack stood up, and Daniel backed away from him. “Daniel, either calm down, or go stand in the corner until you do calm down.”

 

“I am as calm as I’m going to get!” Daniel yelled. “And I’m not standing in any damn corner!”

 

“Fine,” Jack said, putting his hands up in surrender. “Do whatever you please. Kill yourself on the next mission. Why should I care? However, I don’t need to stay here and listen to you mouth off to me.” Jack walked out the back door and climbed to the roof. He listened to see if he could figure out what Daniel was going to do. He didn’t hear the car start, nor did he hear any doors open or close. At least Daniel hadn’t run off.

 

Jack sat down on the chair near the telescope. What did he care? He wasn’t Daniel’s father, or brother, or lover. He wasn’t his keeper. But his was his friend. He thought he was his best friend. When had he let this young man get under his skin? It was a lot easier before, when he didn’t care about anybody, not even himself. ‘Right,’ Jack thought. ‘If it wasn’t for Daniel I’d be dead right now.’ That’s why he cared. He’d already lost his son due to his carelessness. He’d almost lost himself to his depression. He wasn’t going to lose Daniel, if he had any say in the matter. That decided; he climbed back down the ladder.

 

Meanwhile, Daniel had left the kitchen and sat on the couch in the living room. He’d finally done it. He’d chased away everyone else in his life, now Jack had also left him. He didn’t even have the energy to leave. He just stared at the full beer bottle in his hands. Next thing he knew, Jack had him by the arm, made him rise from the couch, and propelled him into the corner. He was too stunned to resist, not that he even wanted to.

 

“I changed my mind, Daniel,” Jack informed him. “I do care. I need you and I need you alive. You’re in the corner for half an hour. If you’re ready then, we’ll talk. If not, you can stay in the corner until you are ready to talk. For we will talk.” Then Jack took the bottle from Daniel’s hand and sat down on the chair.

 

Daniel felt he should be angry, but he wasn’t. He hadn’t chased Jack away. That hadn’t happened before. Before when someone left, he or she stayed away and didn’t come back. He’d gladly stand in the corner for however long it took, as long as he didn’t lose his best friend. Half an hour later the buzzer went off. Daniel knew to wait for Jack though.

 

This time it was Jack who wasn’t ready. However, he knew Daniel expected something from him. “Not yet, Daniel,” Jack told him, hoping he wouldn’t get an argument. “Give me a little more time.”

 

“That’s fine, Jack,” Daniel replied. “Tell me when you’re ready.” Daniel would continue to stand in the corner until Jack told him otherwise.

 

Jack had been thinking about his reaction to Daniel’s behavior. What was he expecting, for Daniel to willingly admit he deserved a strapping. That only happened when Daniel was feeling guilty. Obviously, Daniel wasn’t feeling guilty this time. Was he guilty? Who was right? Jack needed to talk to Daniel to decide that. “Daniel?” Jack questioned.

 

“Yes, Jack,” Daniel answered from his corner.

 

“I’m ready to talk if you are,” Jack told him.

 

Daniel turned around. “I’m ready, Jack. And I’m sorry I was being so bullheaded.” He sat down on the couch opposite Jack.

 

“I wasn’t thinking too clearly either, Daniel,” Jack admitted.

 

“Jack, if we had left when you wanted to,” Daniel inquired, “what would have happened?”

 

“I would have asked Hammond for reinforcements, and returned for Teal’c,” Jack told him.

 

“And Mary would have already been dead by then,” Daniel explained unnecessarily.

 

“Probably,” Jack agreed, “but we would have been alive.”

 

“You would sacrifice a young girl for our lives?” Daniel asked incredulously.

 

“I’ve done it before,” Jack informed him, “and I’ll do it again. In my world, my team is more important. You’re more important. I wish you could understand that.”

 

“I’m trying to, Jack,” Daniel said sincerely. “I’m really trying to, but it’s just not the way I think.”

 

“I know, Daniel,” Jack said. “Can you understand that I’m going to do what I can to keep you alive?”

 

“That’s why we have our agreement,” Daniel replied quietly. “So I think, before I take risks.”

 

“I’m beginning to wonder if it makes any difference, Daniel,” Jack stated. “If it doesn’t, why are we still continuing with it?”

 

Daniel had to stop and think. Was their agreement making any difference in how he acted? Did he think about what would happen to him if he broke their agreement? To be honest with himself, he did. He knew when he walked away from Jack in the village square, what Jack would do if they made it back alive. At the time, he thought it was worth it. He then proceeded to tell Jack this.

 

“So you admit you deserve a strapping?” Jack asked to be sure.

 

“Yes,” Daniel admitted, “but there’s more I want to talk about first.”

 

“Okay,” Jack agreed. “What?”

 

“What should I have done? I know I shouldn’t have just walked off, but I didn’t think you’d listen to me,” Daniel admitted quietly.

 

“You should have asked,” Jack told him. “Let it be my responsibility. That’s why I’m the team leader. I may not have made the decision you wanted me to make, but I would have listened to you.”

 

“If I’d let you decide, and you’d decided to leave,” Daniel explained, not wanting to lie to Jack, “I still would have stayed to help her.”

 

“I know, Daniel,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck, “and I still would have stayed with you, and we’d still be here talking tonight. However, I would have had the chance to say yes. Anything else?”

 

“One more thing,” Daniel said, holding up his finger, “why didn’t you just order me to leave?”

 

“Would you have obeyed the order?” Jack asked.

 

“No,” Daniel answered honestly.

 

“That’s why I didn’t,” Jack replied. “If I’d ordered you to leave, and you’d refused, we’d be having this conversation in Hammond’s office, instead of here.”

 

“Ahh,” Daniel muttered. “So instead we deal with it our way.”

 

“Yep,” Jack agreed. “Are you ready now?”

 

Daniel stood up. “Yes, I’m ready. However, there is one more thing.”

 

“For crying out loud, Daniel!” Jack exclaimed, also standing up.

 

“Relax, Jack,” Daniel assured him. “I just don’t want to be in charge this time.”

 

“Why?” Jack questioned. Normally Daniel wanted to be in charge.

 

“I can’t explain it right now,” Daniel tried to explain. “I just need you in charge this time.”

 

Jack could accept that. “Okay,” he said, taking off his belt, “you know what to do.”

 

“Yes, I do,” Daniel agreed. He walked over to the chair, dropped his pants and boxers, and bent over the back. He hated the position, although he knew that was part of the punishment. The waiting didn’t help either.

 

Jack, a creature of habit, asked the expected question, “What are you being punished for?”

 

“For walking away without giving you a chance,” Daniel stated.

 

“A chance to do what, Daniel?” Jack questioned.

 

Daniel wasn’t expecting another question. “Uhm, your job, Jack. I didn’t give you a chance to do your job.”

 

The first stroke connected. Daniel knew he’d said the right thing. He gave a yelp, and then resigned himself to the rest of the strapping.

 

With every stroke, Jack watched Daniel carefully. He knew Daniel wouldn’t say anything during the strapping. He never did. Jack had learned to watch Daniel’s shoulders. When they dropped, he’d normally had enough. Jack placed his strokes randomly. Sometimes hitting his butt, sometimes the sit spot, and sometimes the thighs. There. Daniel’s shoulders dropped. Jack brought the belt down one more time and stopped. “It’s over Daniel,” he said. He put his belt back on to allow Daniel time to adjust his clothes.

 

Daniel slowly stood up and pulled his pants back up. Then he wiped his tears. Next thing he knew Jack was pulling him into a hug. Daniel responded to it.

 

“I forgive you, Daniel,” Jack said, rubbing Daniel’s head.

 

“Thanks, Jack,” Daniel replied. Then he pulled away. “I’m going to bed now.” He had some things he wanted to think about.

 

“Sure, Daniel,” Jack said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

Daniel got ready for the night and lay down on his stomach, hands folded under his head. Thinking about what had gone on tonight, he fell asleep.

 

Daniel woke up groggy the next morning. He threw on a pair of sweats, went to the bathroom, washed his face and headed into the kitchen. Jack was already there, drinking coffee and reading the paper. “Morning, Jack,” Daniel said, pouring his own mug and sitting down gingerly. Daniel would have let the strapping go on longer, but Jack had done a thorough enough job.

 

“Morning, Daniel,” Jack replied, putting down his paper. He looked at Daniel and said, “You look pensive.”

 

“Pensive?” Daniel queried, raising his brows.

 

“Hey. What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me,” Jack answered, smiling back at him.

 

“I have been thinking,” Daniel agreed.

 

“See,” Jack said, punching the table, “I knew that’s what it meant.”

 

Daniel couldn’t help laughing. “So, do you want to know what I’ve been thinking?”

 

“Yeahsureyebetcha,” Jack answered.

 

Daniel got a little more serious. “Why did you come back last night?”

 

Jack answered the question with another question, “Why did you stay?”

 

Daniel hadn’t expected that. “I don’t really know, Jack,” was all he could think of for an answer.

 

“When you can answer my question, Daniel,” Jack told him, “I can answer yours.” He got up to refill his coffee, and give Daniel some space.

 

Daniel looked down into his mug, thinking. Why did he stay? At the time he thought he was too worn out to leave, but he knew that wasn’t true. It wouldn’t have taken much energy to drive away. “I was hoping you’d come back, Jack,” Daniel admitted quietly.

 

“Why?” Jack asked. “You could have saved yourself a strapping.”

 

“The punishment didn’t matter,” Daniel answered, never meeting Jack’s eyes.

 

“What did matter, Daniel?” Jack knew what mattered to him; he just hoped it was the same for Daniel.

 

Daniel didn’t answer right away. He didn’t like admitting he needed someone. He’d learned to get by without it for most of his life. Finally he couldn’t deny it any longer. “You, Jack,” he said quietly. “You’re what mattered. I’ve driven everyone in my life away, and I couldn’t stand it if I’d done the same to you.”

 

“You answered your own question, Daniel,” Jack told him.

 

“What?” Daniel asked in confusion.

 

“I came back because I’ve run out on everyone in my life,” Jack explained. “I couldn’t do that to you. I realized you’re too important to me to run away from.” Jack turned around to face Daniel. “I also couldn’t stand the thought of you believing I’d abandoned you. I’ll never do that, Daniel, ever again.”

 

Daniel had tears in his eyes. He couldn’t say anything.

 

Jack was worried by Daniel’s silence. “Are you okay, Daniel?” he asked in concern.

 

“I’m fine,” Daniel said shakily. He tried to wipe a tear away without Jack noticing. He failed.

 

“Why are you crying then?” Jack questioned. He sat down across from Daniel again.

 

Daniel tried to shrug him off, and then he decided he might as well tell him. “You’re the first one to come back, Jack. I’m a little overwhelmed,” he admitted.

 

Jack realized Daniel hadn’t looked up since he’d started talking. He said firmly, “Daniel, look at me.” Daniel looked up. “I’m sorry for what other people have done to you. I’m sorry for what I almost did to you. However, I promise I won’t ever do it again. We’re in this together, from here on out.”

 

Daniel couldn’t handle it. He stood up quickly and walked out onto the back patio.

 

Jack followed. He put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel let it stay. “Daniel, what’s going on?”

 

“Nothing,” Daniel answered dismissively.

 

Jack was concerned but also becoming irritated. “Daniel, I was honest with you, at least be honest with me.”

 

“Okay. You’re right. You deserve that much.” Daniel took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can handle it. I want it, but I can’t take the chance.”

 

“Handle what?” Jack asked in confusion. “Chance what?”

 

“I know what you’ve promised. And I believe you mean to keep your promise.” Daniel trailed off, not finishing.

 

“But what, Daniel?” Jack pushed.

 

“But…” Daniel wasn’t sure how to say what he felt. “…if you do keep your promise, you’ll be the first.”

 

“Oh,” Jack said. He knew how hard it was to trust someone. There weren’t many people he’d ever trusted himself. However, he had a feeling with everything that had happened in Daniel’s life, his trust was even harder to come by. “Then I won’t promise you.” He hoped he was using the right tactic.

 

“What?” Daniel asked incredulously. Jack had just taken back his promise. It didn’t make sense.

 

“I understand you’ve had too many promises broken in your life. So I’m not going to make a promise. I’m only going to tell you that I’ll do the best I possibly can, not to turn my back on you,” Jack explained. “And if I’m stupid enough to do that, I hope you will tell me, and forgive me.”

 

Daniel was speechless. Jack did understand. No one else ever had. Finally he said the only thing he could, “I’ll accept that.” Then he did something he had not done since he was with his parents, he initiated a hug.

 

Jack hugged him back. “Good,” he said into Daniel’s ear.

 

“Will you accept the same from me?” Daniel asked.

 

“Of course,” Jack replied. When Daniel pulled away from the hug, he asked, “Are you hungry?”

 

“Starving,” Daniel answered. “Is there some of that soup left?”

 

“For breakfast?” Jack asked in surprise.

 

“It was good,” Daniel answered. “Even if I didn’t eat much last night.”

 

“Sure,” Jack agreed, gently cuffing Daniel across the back of the head. “I’ll join you.”