MARIA: Michael, I've been thinking. If you want to be in a relationship with me, I need to see you in a thong.

MICHAEL: But I can't afford one! I'm the *poor* alien!

MARIA: Don't worry, I'll help you raise the money. I'll do anything. I'll sing!
MICHAEL: Please don't.

MARIA: I'll- I'll strip!

MICHAEL: Ooh! With Liz? Like a 'sweet & spicy' thing?

MARIA: Yeeeah. Like Liz would ever-

LIZ: Shut up! For Michael, of course I would.

That night at the Crashdown
DEPUTY: Hang on a second, kids. I've heard there's some risque stuff going on in there, and I can only let you in if you're of legal age.

MAX: Actually we're just sophomores in high school.

ISABEL: I'm 16 years old.

DEPUTY: Heh. Yeah right. Okay, go on in.

Behind the scenes
LIZ: Oh my God! I'm so excited!
MARIA: Liz, you're kinda scaring me.

MAX: I can't look, I can't look.

MAX: Yes I can look, yes I can look.

MICHAEL: Would anyone like to buy some candy? All profits go to the Buy Michael Guerin A Thong Foundation.

DEPUTY OWEN: I'll take some.

DEPUTY OWEN: That's some nice dancing, ladies.