Plagued
Author: Rose [rosiethebug@yahoo.com]

Disclaimer: They're not mine, which is a good thing
because I never would have been able to write an
episode as amazingly brilliant as The War at Home. Who
here thinks Leo kicks ass? ME!

Summary: Josh jumps to conclusions. Sequel to
'Vacationing in the Dairy State'.

**************
Donna and Sam. Sam and Donna. Dating. In love. Lying
to me.

I am plagued by this nonsense, this utterly ridiculous
excuse for life. Donna’s in love with Sam. Fine. Who
gives a damn? Let them be in love. I don’t care.

No, I do care. They’re my friends, and if they want to
date I’m happy for them. She’ll just break his heart
and destroy what little bit of sanity he has left,
while he sends her into the deep depression that
inevitably follows one of her painful breakups. I’m
happy for them, I really am.

But why the hell did they have to lie about it? Did
they think I wouldn’t figure it out eventually? Were
they just not going to invite me to the wedding?

I can hear Sam now, “Well, we were going to tell you
after the fifth kid, but you were so busy with the new
gun legislation…”

Ugh. I can’t believe this. Donna is in love with Sam.
This is wrong on so many levels. All those times I
just thought they were goofing off in my office to bug
me they were…flirting. Oh God. This is my own little
personal hell. Little demons spookily resembling Sam
with a pitchfork flit about my tortured mind.

Why didn’t they tell me? Did they think I’d be
jealous? Jealous of Sam? Ridiculous. I’m not jealous.
Why the hell would I be jealous?

I’m *not* jealous. I’m pissed off. They should have
damn well told me.

And now Donna’s stranded in Wisconsin for God knows
how long. I acted like an ass and she’s probably mad
at me. Which is fine, because I’m pissed at her.

Okay, it’s not fine. It should be fine, but it’s not.
This is a mess, and I haven’t the slightest idea how
to deal with it.

They will never work. Sam is not Donna's type. Donna
falls in love with assholes. Sam, no matter how
clueless he may be, is no asshole.

I suppose I should be glad Donna finally found a guy
who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
But Donna and Sam? It just doesn't make any sense.
It's fundamentally wrong in a cosmic, fundamental way.
Inherent wrongness. Just really, really wrong.

Donna is in love with Sam.

Plagued, I tell you.

******************************************************
That ass. That unmitigated horse’s ass.

He thinks I’m dating Sam. Incredible. Has he gone
absolutely insane?

Don’t get me wrong, Sam is a very sweet, attractive
man. I just have no romantic interest in him
whatsoever. He’s a friend. A little buddy.

I just compared the man to Gilligan, for Pete’s sake.
How can Josh possibly think I’m in love with him? So
he overheard something I said to my mother and walked
in on a telephone conversation. That’s hardly
conclusive evidence.

And even if I was dating Sam, why should he care? I
understand his being protective when I go out with
guys he doesn’t know, but Sam’s his best friend. I
would think this would be a great thing for him. He’d
get both of us out of his hair.

So what’s the deal? Any complaints he might have about
dating in the work place are unfounded after his
relationship with Mega-Bitch Mandy. If I sound a bit
catty, that’s just because I am. Now that I have
acknowledged my feelings for Josh I don’t have to hide
my jealous loathing of Mandy Hampton. But I digress.

Let's review the facts. He was furious when he
realized I was on the phone with Sam. He was dejected
when he heard I was dating someone. In any other man
this would lead me to the conclusion of passionate
jealousy, but this is Josh we’re talking about here.

Still...I suppose he may be a little jealous. That
certainly would explain his reaction to any attempt I
make at having a social life. But what if I’m reading
too much into it? There’s simply too good a chance
that I’m misinterpreting all this. I couldn’t bear to
come forward with my feelings, only to ruin our
friendship when he doesn’t reciprocate.

I sit in my room staring out the window pondering all
this while the snow continues to fall. After nearly
three days of deliberation, the ice has begun to melt
and I have yet to make a decision.

The End
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