This is really cool, a girl named Laura e-mailed me this story. She wrote it herself. It contains all the Green Day song titles! It's really cool, so enjoy!

The Ballad of Wilhelm Fink - I Don't Want to Fall in Love this is one for the razorbacks, by who wrote holden caulfield?

Walking alone down Christie Road, I want to be alone. I'm tired of Hitchin a  ride, and my last ride in was 1,000 hours ago, I?m known now as the  disappearing boy. I was so tired of waiting for you All the time, and so sick  of walking the road to acceptance with you, the judge's daughter, that i turned you in for my westbound sign.

You were a redundant brat, and me,i was  a jaded android. But you were stuck with me, and i was your dominatedlove slave. We were the best thing in town, no one knows it, but it ended at the library.

Why do you want him? Jason Andrew Relva, the worry rock with no pride, who needs to fuck off and die. my thoughts are only of you, and you know how uptight i get. We would've had such sweet children, we were  even going to live in strangeland.

Haushinka, your friend, she was sucha  grouch. You lied about her, saying she was going to pasalacqua for the  summer. but I was there, and I was having a blast. 'Welcome toparadise' was  our motto there, green day was every day, we would suffocate in the smoke.  But you were with that reject then.

Even though you are 16, and it is my  generation, your generation, our generation, you were so desensitized about  it. I begged, don?t leave me, i'll take back everything, you?re the one i want. but no, you were like dry ice, such a prosthetic head. So now i?m a  jinx on tight wad hill, my brainstew, my thoughts scattered everywhere, the pain like a dentist pulling teeth.

In the longview, i've become a burnout of a basketcase. I have 4 friends now, the chump, emenius sleepus, the platypus, and my sassafras roots. I hate you so much now, I want to be on tv and tell the world how much  you suck. Wheni  come around to Stuart and the Ave again, me, the walking contradiction,  will be king for a day. With my geek stink breath and private ale.While  youre off dancing away your panic song of a life, i'm 2,000 light years away,  in a deep rest with rotting knowledge for one of my lies. They could've been words i might haveate, but  i'm coming clean. 

Aramatage shanks, the world isn?t fair, and there is always some 409 in your coffeemaker. The paper lanterns illuminating your  life are burning away, you soon will need bab's uvula. Who? you mightsay?  she's now my lover, a top secret, superb espionage.

So do da da, in the end,  when you're 80 and i'm 86,  good riddance. I hope you had the time of your  life, while i was all by myself. this proves that nice guys finish last

All credit goes to Laura who was kind enough to send this to me!