Testimony
(from my Nephew as he accepted Christ
as His Lord and Savior while writing
a letter to a friend.)
 

The thing I have with www.thirdgen.org is that I get to help so many people, I have actually inspired people to write good things, not about me, but good side articles.  I really get a great feeling when I get "fan" mail :)  It's not just the editorial either, for example, yesterday, a guy I know from New Jersey called, a thirdgen guy, I told him how to fix something on his car, it felt so good to help someone with my knowledge.  The more I think about it, the more I REALLY want to go to the Hussons Church, it really did have an impact on me, I honestly felt like family, .........................oh my God!  I just started crying when I said that!  ................WOW!..........  I'm not joking one bit .........................When I said that, I had the most incredible feeling of love and peace flow through me...............  You can't see this becasue i'm typing, but I am at a loss for words.  The only thing I can think to say is Oh My God!...................  I have NEVER felt anything like that.  It has passed, but I didn't want it too, I don't want it too.  It has taken me literally minutes to type the last 2 sentences.  Wow!  Is this what you feel every time you think about God?  I am at a total loss for words, utterly speechless.  It was the absolute best I have ever felt, ever.  Oh my God, it has been about 5 minutes since I felt it, right now, 3:38 am 5-6-99, I am crying again just thinking about it.  It literally felt as if something came down upon me and filled my body with pure love, love for everything.  I'm still in shock.  And in the the previous sentence, I cannot emphasize the word "love"  enough to do it justice, no-one could.  Oh my God, I wish you were here to share this with me, and I don't even mean as a girlfreind, as a person that I belive knows what I am feeling.  I also previously said it has passed, it still has, but I can still feel it somewhat, hehe, I wish you could see my bewildered face.  Have you ever felt anything like this?  It's not as clear now, but I saw what I belive is what you see, about this whole thing, about life, about everything.  I wish I was saying this and not typing it, but I said "I love God"  in my head, and almost stared crying again.  I just changed the title of this letter, it did say something to the effect of "I was thinking..."  I was thinking, but not now, I'm feeling.  The moment passed so quickly that I'm afraid I am embellishing it or forgetting it.  I think I know what triggered it, you can't tell, but when I typed the line "the more I REALLY want to go to the Hussons Church, it really did have an impact on me, I honestly felt like family,"  I just became swept up with enthusiasm, I honestly meant every single word.  When I said "family"  I felt it.  I think I just let God or Jesus, or some higher divine power into my heart.  I keep wanting to say Jesus though, I can't explain it, but it just FELT like Jesus, like I KNEW it was Jesus, even without having prior knowledge of him, I KNOW it was Jesus.  I can't belive I am typing this.  But I am, and I can't stop talking about it.  I never finished my sentence, after "family"  I was going to say how much fun it would be to have a fund raiser car show at the church.  You have to understand one thing, everything I just typed just came out of me, it would make much more sense to say it.  But to go back and change some of it to make more sense doesn't seem right.  I have to keep it like it is.  It is the most important thing I ever wrote, it seems sacreligious to change it, even one word.  The moment has completely passed now, I'm scared that I will never feel it again.  I don't want to lose what I just felt, but my old self is fighting it, I don't want it to.  I can't belive I just said "my old self."  I guess that means I have actually changed.  It's 4:02 am now.  almost a half hour since I felt him, and yes I said him, that's what felt right, it's not "it" anymore.  I felt Jesus.  I don't ever want to lose that, I'm worried I will.  The reason I said it was 4:02 is that it felt like 2 minutes ago that it happened.  I din't even realize that I have been sitting here a half hour.  This is all such a strange wonderful blur for me.  I was just now thinking of how I was going to end this letter, when I thought of "Love Shane"  I realized how much more powerful God's love is.  Not that when I say Love Shane doesn't mean anything, it does, it means ALOT, but the love I just felt really put it to shame.  No comparison whatsoever.  I am still in a daze.  When I just wrote the previous Love sentence, The love for you meant more, alot more.  I am not feeling the immense love of the breif moment, but I am still feeling the aftershocks, now this is going to sound crazy, but Big Kitty is right near me, and I look at her totally different, even though she is licking herself, I look at her and feel immense love.  And while I was writing that sentence, I was thinking of my mom and sister asleep in their beds, and it was the same with them, my dad too.  I am writing this as I feel it, just putting ALL of my thoughts into words.  I hope it never ends.  I wasn't to do things differently now, to continue this love feeling, and to avoid losing it, I don't even want to lay in my bed and mindlessly watch TV, out of fear of losing it.  I'm not just talking about doing thins differently with us, that's a part of it, but I'm talking about my whole life, I don't want to go to work and be lulled into feeling mad at other drivers, or feeling depressed about delivering Pizzas like everyone else there.  I feel so bad for people that don't feel this, now I know why churchgoers always want you to go with them, and can't speak enough about the love of God and Jesus, and fellowship.  Boy was I wrong :)  You think I really wanted to go to church before, watch out!  I REALLY want to go now.  A much as I hope this helps us get back together, I KNOW we will be awesome friends now.  I am crying now, I actually see what you see, and it feels sooo good.  When I look back to how I was, I don't like me. I feel so pure and healthy, cleansed of everything bad.  I can't belive it, I feel so much love for everyone I know, EVERYONE.  Everything looks so new and wonderful, everything feels so good.  Everything looks different to me now, I also realize the feeling isn't going to go away.  I feel so much love from everyone and everything now.  It's so powerful that even thinking of anyone almost brings me to tears, it's the same when I think about God.  I want you to know, that every word I have written in this letter is 100% the absolute truth.  I would want to die if I knew I was just doing it to get you back, because I couldn't live with myself knowing I used God for my own personal gains.  When I picture the old me, I see a dark, brooding kid with dark circle under his eyes, and fear and hate in his heart.  That's what I was.   I didn't have his love in my soul, and I don't see how I ever loved anything before tonight.  I guess it was God trying to help me, I wouldn't let him.  hehe, it's 4:47 am, I can hear birds outside.  They seem more musical and beautiful now than before.  Everything does.  I have felt the love, and I have learned more in these last few hours than I ever thought I could.  Life is beautiful and wonderful and great, I feel love like it is supposed to be felt, and I didn't even realize that I can't truly love anyone without the love of God.  And now everything has changed.