Brian and AJ Spend A Day Together... Cause we all want to know how that would turn out. Brian: Alright, AJ are you ready? AJ: Will you hold on! I have to decide which hat to wear - should I wear the leopard print, the scarlet red, or the zebra print? Man, I don't know, what do you think? *holds up hats for Brian's view* Brian: Um, uh...maybe you should wear...that solid black one. AJ: What?! Brian: Well, I don't know... AJ: That wasn't one of your choices. Brian: Well, what difference does it make, hat or no hat? Let's just leave. AJ: What do you mean, hat or no hat - of course it matters! *frustrated, AJ grabs the leopard print hat* ***Brian and AJ both get into the car*** Brian: Ok, I'm driving. AJ; Why? Let ME drive. Brian: No, that's ok, I'll drive. AJ: Well, why can't I drive? Brian: Um...No, that's ok, I'LL drive. AJ: Damn it, Brian! Just cuz I don't have my driver's license and I'm a reckless driver and I get drunk once in awhile and I drank a beer before we left and I smoked and did some crack - doesn't mean you can't let me DRIVE! Brian: And not to mention that you always eat Tic-Tacs, and that you cuss and you always get those tacky tattoos and *shocked voice* you don't even go to church! AJ: What! What does THAT have to do with anything?!! Brian: Listen, I don't want to argue or get into a fight, can't we just get along? I mean, it's only for one day, and plus, in the Bible it says in chap- AJ: Ok, ok, I don't want to here one of your long lectures again, man! They're so long, you take longer than Kevin! Brian: Ok, good...now, where do you want to go? AJ: Hmmmm...*thinking* Let's see... ***The silence is broken by a loud yell*** Nick: *pops up from the backseat* I KNOW! I know where to go! AJ: NICK! What the hell are YOU doing here?!!! Nick: Scared ya huh? I've been waiting for you guys to come. Brian: Have you been waiting ALL day? Nick: Well, yeah. AJ: Get out of the car, Nick! Nick: *whiny voice* But I wanna go too! AJ: You don't even know where we're going! Nick: So? AJ: Get out. Nick: *whinier voice* But I wanna go! I never get to go anywhere! I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go! AJ: Shut the hell up! Brian: AJ! AJ: What? Man he's being like a loud-mouthed whiner again! Brian: That's no way to talk to people, in the Bible- Nick: I WANNA GO! Brian: Ok Nick, you can come! Nick: *happy and excited* Yipppeeee!!! AJ: What?!?!!! Are you crazy! Brian: AJ, what's wrong with you? You know, I don't like your attitude, you should- AJ: Shut up! Brian: AJ! Nick: Yeah, AJ! AJ: SHUT UP! Brian: Stop yelling! Ok let's leave already, we're not even off the driveway yet. ***They pull out of the driveway (finally) and start driving*** Nick: So, where are we going anyways? AJ: With you here, of course, we might as well be in hell. Brian: *warningly* AJ... Nick: What if you don't want to go there? I'd rather go to Chuck-E-Cheese! Oh! look, I found some bubblegum! AJ: Brian, do you have anything to drink? Brian: No, you know I don't keep any beer in the car, I'm against beer in the first place. AJ: Not for me, not beer either, it's for Nick. Brian: Oh, that's nice of you AJ. The only thing I have is water though. AJ: Well that's fine. ***Brian hands a bottled water to AJ*** AJ: Hey, Nick, do you want some water? Nick: *chewing his gum* Why? *chew chew* I'm not thirsty *chew chew* and I don't like water that much. AJ: Well *dropping in a white tablet into the water* this is SPECIAL water, I put some candy in it! Nick: Really? Oh, goody! Give me some! AJ: *hands Nick the water with a grin on his face* Here you go. Nick: *chugs down the water* Hey! That water tastes good! I've never had water that tasted like tha- *falls right over* Brian: *abruptly stops the car* Oh my gosh! AJ, what did you do?!!!?! AJ: Oh, nothing really. Brian: Is he alive?! *angrily looks at AJ* What happened? I know you know AJ. AJ: Oh, to shut him up for a while, I just put a sleeping pill in the water. That way, I won't have to see or hear from him today. Brian: AJ! I can't believe you would do such a thing! AJ: I know, that was a little childish. I WAS gonna put some coke in it, but I didn't think that Nick could handle it. Brian: What do you mean? Nick drinks that all the time. AJ: No, coke as in the DRUG. Brian: What??! AJ: What? Now we can really enjoy the day. ***After some silence*** Brian: AJ, what you did was really mean...see, that's why I don't let you drive. AJ: What? Brian: Well, anyway...where do you want to go? AJ: How bout a strip club? Brian: NO!! AJ: What? Brian: Somewhere else please. AJ: Night club? Brian: AJ... AJ: Ok, ok, ok...a bar? Brian: AJ! AJ: What? Brian: Something else... AJ: Ok...I got it! A tattoo parlor. Brian: Ok, that's it, I'm not going to ask you anymore. AJ: What? Did I say something wrong? Brian: We're going to go where I say we are...and that place is...an art museum! AJ: What?! Brian: Yes, somewhere that's good with a friendly environment. AJ: What's wrong wih a strip club? I think the environment is friendly enough. Brian: *gaping* AJ: What? Brian; Now, what are we going to do with Nick? AJ: Duh, just leave him in the backseat of course. Brian: AJ, you can't do that, maybe we should take him back home. AJ: Good! Take him home and leave him there...with no food...and no soft drinks...and none of his stupid Nintendo...and no gum...let's make him suffer! *evil, malicious laugh* Brian: Uh...no, AJ. AJ: Ok, fine, how bout with no water and food there...I'm being lenient now, which I'm usually not. Brian: AJ, please. AJ: What? ***Brian and AJ get Nick to the house, and Brian makes sure he is supervised by Kevin (being the way Nick is, he might hurt himself)*** Brian: Ok, now that we got that taken care of, let's go! AJ: To the museum? Brian: Of course. AJ: Awww man! We're still gonna go to that? Brian: Fine, I'm going to ask you one last time where YOU want to go, now, here are the rules...your choice or suggestion cannot be illegal, cannot cause harm in any way, it cannot be morally and ethically violating in any way, and also, it cannot involve the piercing and tattooing of any part of the body...GOT IT? AJ: What? I might as well just enroll into a monastery to meet those requirements. Brian: You know...that seems like a good idea... AJ: Don't you even... Brian: So now, where do you want to go? AJ: *thinking* Ummm...uh...Hey! I know! Let's go to McDONALD'S! Brian: What? AJ: Yeah, let's go! Brian: Well, you know...it would be kind of better if we went to Burger King...because you know they're sponsoring us and everything...and- AJ: What?! Screw them! I'm gonna go to McDONALD's! Brian: Ok, fine... ***After Brian and AJ went to McDONALD's, they tried to decide where to go next. They disagreed on everything, so after much time wasted by arguing, they just returned home*** Brian: So, were there any problems while we were gone? Kevin: Well...um...uh...sor...ry...to...say...but...yeah. Brian: What? AJ: Probably something Nick did. Kevin: Yeah...it...was... Brian: What?! What he do now? Kevin: Well... AJ: Probably flushed his foot down the toilet and got his foot stuck again. Kevin: No...it's...not...that... Brian: Then what?! Kevin: Nick...he... AJ: Did he get his hand stuck in the cup holder again? Or did he drown in a puddle? Kevin: No...he... AJ: I know, his brain almost exploded trying to count to ten. Man, he's SUCH an idiot! Brian: AJ, will you let Kevin finish! AJ: Oh yeah, like that's gonna happen, he takes so long, we'll be dead by the time he finishes. Brian: Kevin, tell me what happened. Kevin: Well...he...choked...on...a...pen...ny. Brian: What? Kevin: Yeah...but...Howie...saved...him...just...in...time...with...stom...ach...thrusts. Brian: Why was a penny in his mouth in the first place? Kevin: Well...he...said...he...was...a...bank...he was...try...ing...to...imitate...a...bank. AJ: Oh my god! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! Brian: Is he alright? Kevin: Uh...yeah...he's...rest...ing. Brian: Good, next time, make sure he doesn't have ANY small objects. Kevin: ...O...K... From that day forth, I don't think Brian and AJ spent a whole lot of time together. THE END