BSB in Grease -------------------------------------------------------- This is a story based on the movie Grease. It is meant to be extremely hilarious and evehn a bit rude, but I hope you are at ease with those types of jokes. Anyway, I made this story up, with the help of the idea from my friend, Jori Widen. Enjoy! -------------------------------------------------------- ***BSB are starting their senior year of high school at Rydell High. AJ, Kevin, and Howie are standing around, discussing the new girl. Her name is Nicole (Nick) Carter, also called Sandy because of her blond hair.*** AJ: Damn, Sandy is hot! Howie: Dude, you'll never get her. She's dating some jock. Kevin: Yeah, and I heard that jock may be my cousin Brian. Howie: Kev, it wouldn't be Brian! He's one of us! AJ: What do you mean, one of us????? Howie: Oh, sorry. I forgot about me and Kev being T-Birds, and everyone calls you Kenickie for some reason, and Brian is called Danny for some reason too. Kevin: Oh yeah, and everybody calls me Sonny. Howie: Everybody calls me Putzie. AJ: That's right, you losers! Kevin: Hey, if we're losers, then why do you hang out with us? Howie: Yeah, why do you hang out with us then? AJ: Umm...because you guys are part of the T-Bird clan, but Brian and I are higher level T-Birds, so there! Kevin: Oh ok. AJ: Got it boys? Howie and Kevin: Yeah. AJ: Good, now shut up before I beat the fucking shit out of you two! ***Howie and Kevin zip their lips.*** AJ: Hehehe, I love being the leader when Brian's not around. ***Suddenly Brian walks towards them.*** Howie and Kevin: Hey Danny! Brian: What the fuck? I thought we were over that deal of me being called Danny? AJ: Well, they still call me Kenickie for some reason. Kevin: It's our names, Danny. Brian: Shut up jackass! Kevin: Meow, sorry! Howie: The author gave us these gay names. Kevin: Isn't her name Rimma or something? AJ: Yeah, I think so. Brian: Rimma came up with really lame names for us. ***I give Brian a tremendous thrashing for saying that about me.*** Brian: Oww! I'm sorry, Rimma. Me: You're forgiven. Now let me go on with the story yuo assholes! All: Ok, you're the boss. ***I give them all a devilish grin and then continue writing.*** Brian: Ok back to Rimma's wonderful, magnificent, astounding, marvelous, creative, stupendous story. ***I roll my eyes at how much Brian's being a suck-up. Now we zoom in on the girls sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch.*** Frenchy: Hey girls, this is Nick Carter, but everybody calls her Sandy because of her blond hair that looks exactly like Leo DiCaprio's hair. Jan: She came all the way from Tampa, Florida! Rizzo: Wow! How are things down under, Sandy? Nick: Oh, fine, thanks. Marty: So what did you do this summer, Sandy? Nick: I was at the beach. I met a boy there. Jan: What kind of boy? Nick: A Backstreet boy. All: Wow!!! You were dating a Backstreet Boy? Which one? Which one? Nick: Brian. Brian Littrell. ***All the girls start laughing.*** Rizzo: Well, Brian sounds peechy keen, and someday he might show up again unexpectedly. ***Nick gives Rizzo a puzzled look.*** Rizzo: It means that he goes to this school, dumbass! Nick: Oh, really? Rizzo: Yeah, it's true. Nick: Wow. I gotta find him. Rizzo: That won't happen, girl, there's more kids here than Stevenson. Nick: Oh my god, then there must be millions here! Rizzo: Exactly. This is Los Angeles, what do you think? Nick: Right, Los Angeles has a lot of kids in their schools. Rizzo: See? You've been doing your geography homework. Nick: Yes I have. Rizzo: Good girl. ***Now we zoom in on the boys, who are sitting on the bleachers in the football field.*** All: Come on, Danny, tell us what happened this summer! Brian: For the last fucking time, will you just call me Brian? All: Sure, Danny. Brian: ..... AJ: So how was the action down at the beach? *winks* Brian: Oh, it was slammin'. I had the greatest time! AJ: How about the chicks? Brian: Yeah, there was one really cool chick. Her name was Nick Carter, but I called her Sandy because her hair looks like Leo DiCaprio's. All: Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! ***The boys corner Brian.*** Brian: All right, I'll tell you! ***Everyone breaks into song and dance.*** Summer lovin, had me a blast Summer lovin, happened so fast I met a girl, crazy for me I met a Backstreet boy, cute as can be Summer days drifting away To those summer nights Tell me more, tell me more Did you take her to a concert? Tell me more, tell me more Like did you have a backstage pass? She stood by me, she got an earache I stood by him, he was singing so loud I saved her life, I turned down the volume of my microphone He showed off, dancing around Summer concerts, the tour's begun But those summer nights Tell me more, tell me more Sounds like you got yourself a lass Tell me more, tell me more 'Cause he sounds like an ass He got friendly, singing to me She got friendly, grabbing my thingie He was sweet, just turned 23 Yeah she was a slut, you know what I mean *winks* Summer heat, boy and girl meet But those summer nights Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did the tickets cost? Tell me more, tell me more Could she get me a backstage pass? It turned colder, that's where it ends So I told her, we'd still be friends Then we made our true love vow I wonder WHO she's doing now Nick's clothes, ripped at the seams, But those summer nights ***They immediately go back to the story*** ***We zoom in on the boys working on the car in the garage.*** Howie: What a hunk of junk. AJ: Hey, Putzie, you're cruising for a bruising. Brian: Will you guys please stop rhyming? Kevin: No way, Jose! Brian: .... Howie: Well, this car DOES need a little work. AJ: And what is your definition of a little work? Howie: Huh? Kevin: AJ, Howie's an illiterate, uneducated psychopath? AJ: Oh yeah, I forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Kev. Kevin: No prob. Brian: Why this car could be systemic ***Drum beat*** Brian: Hydromatic... ***Drum beat*** Brian: Ultramatic... ***Drum beat*** Brian: Why it could be grease lightning! ***Everybody breaks into song and dance*** Get me some Double Quarter Pounders with extra cheese, oh yeah Keep talking, yeah keep talking Don't be a wimp, just pull up to the drive-through window, oh yeah I'll do it captain, yeah I'll do it captain With some money in my pocket, I can get whatever I want You know that ain't bullshit, because I stole it from the bank Grease lightning! Go go go go go go go go go go Go grease lightning, you're clogging up my arteries, yeah Grease lightning, go grease lightning Go grease lightning, I'll have to have bypass surgery, oh yeah Grease lightning, go grease lightning You are supreme, uh huh I always dream, uh huh Of getting fat on grease lightning Go go go go go go go go go go I need some Chicken McNuggets and Large French Fries, oh yeah An extra-large Coke and a beefy Big Mac, oh yeah With these foods in my diet I'm sure to put my stomach in a riot Grease lightning Go go go go go go go go go go Go grease lightning, you're clogging up my arteries, yeah Grease lightning, go grease lightning Go grease lightning, I'll have to have bypass surgery, oh yeah Grease lightning, go grease lightning You are supreme, uh huh I always dream, uh huh Of getting fat on grease lightning Lightning lightning lightning lightning Lightning lightning lightning lightning Yeah ***They immediately go back to the story*** ***At the school dance*** Brian: Hey, Sandy! how are you? Nick: Brian? It's you? Brian: No, it's Bill Clinton. Nick: Oh, sorry then, wrong guy. Brian: Sandy, it's me Brian. Nick: But you just said- Brian: I was joking! Nick: *light bulb dings in her head* Oh I get it now! Brian: *rolls his eyes* Nick: Do you have a date for the dance? Brian: No, do you? Nick: Nope. Brian: Then do you wanna be my date? Nick: Sure! You're so sweet! Brian: No, i'm not sweet. Howie is sweet - why do you think we call him Sweet D? Nick: Yeah, I guess not. But if you're not sweet, then what are you? Brian: I'm a joker. Nick: Oh yeah. You are sooo funny! Brian: *blushes* Thank you, Sandy. Nick: Ok, let's stop the chit-chat and start dancing! Brian: All right. ***Brian and Nick advance towards the dance floor. They notice AJ asking a girl to dance.*** AJ: Hey baby, wanna dance? Girl: Hell no! You're a freak! AJ: What? How am I a freak? Girl: Well, let's see. You have your ears double-pierced with enormous hopp earrings in each hole! AJ: But- Girl: And you have blue hair. AJ: Well- Girl: And you have a tattoo on each arm. Gross! AJ: Umm- Girl: And you are so skinny! Now I see why they call you Bone! Buh Bye! AJ: Wait! ***The girl storms off.*** AJ: So what if I wear gigantic hoop earrings? So what if I dye my hair all the time? So what if I have tattoos? So what if I'm skinny? Brian: Maybe if you changed your image, girls would actually like you. AJ: What do you mean, change my image? Brian: Girls don't exactly like guys who look like they've just come off of 110th Street, you idiot! AJ: What the hell is 110th Street? Brian: Some bad neighborhood in the south side of Chicago. AJ: Oh, well screw them, they're all the way in Chicago. Brian: AJ, I'm not gonna screw them. AJ: But you love screwing people! Brian: Only my one true love. *looks over at Nick and sighs* AJ: *rolls his eyes* Oh, gimme a break! ***Brian walks over to Nick to dance. AJ keeps walking around asking girls to dance.*** ***After the dance, they all go home, but Nick is offended by Brian somehow and she joins the other girls at Frenchy's sleepover party.*** Rizzo: Hey Sandy, how are ya? Nick: Oh, fine, thanks. Jan: Will you please stop saying that for the love of God?! Nick: *growls* Jan: Oh sorry. Marty: Not you too! Nick: Huh? Marty: The guy I'm dating, Kevin, keeps on saying that whenever somebody says God's name. Nick: Oh, I see. I growl because I'm religious and I was brought up to believe that you shouldn't say the Lord's name in vain. Rizzo: Oh, put a sock in it! ***Nick pulls off her sock and shoves it in her mouth.*** Rizzo: That was a metaphor you idiot! Nick: Huh? The other girls: Oy vey. Rizzo: Nevermind, your mind is too feeble to take in this information. ***Nick looks puzzled.*** Rizzo: My point exactly. Frenchy: Ok, let's change the subject. Sandy, do you want me to pierce your ears for you? Nick: What? No way! Frenchy: Come on, it'll be easy. Nick: No, I don't wanna! Frenchy: Now, come with me, Sandy. Nick: I don't wanna! Frenchy: Sandy... Nick: GET AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILL YOU, SO HELP ME GOD! ***Frenchy backs off immediately.*** Jan: Hey, guys, how about I sing for y'all? The girls: Ok go ahead Jan. Jan: *clears her throat, starts singing WAY off-key* I'll never *with esxtreme force* BREAK YOUR HEART... Frenchy: Um, stop please, Jan. Jan: I'll never *with extreme force* MAKE YOU CRY... Rizzo: Ah, stop it Jan! Jan: I'd rather die *with extreme force* THAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU... Marty: Oh my god Jan, you're killing all the small dogs in the neighborhood! ***Jan keeps singing terribly. Suddenly, the guys pull up to Frenchy's driveway in AJ's car. They cover their ears when they hear a horrible shrieking sound coming from inside the house.*** Kevin: AHHHHH!!! Jan's singing again! AJ: Oh my god, she's back again! Howie: Brothers, sisters, everybody run! ***The guys all laugh hysterically*** Brian: Guys, I have to tell Sandy how much I feel about her. I don't want her to be mad at me. I love her. Kevin: Ok we'll help you Brian. Howie: *gets up in the car on one knee* Oh Sandy, wherefore art thou Sandy? ***The guys pull Howie back in the car, all hollering with laughter. The girls hear them laughing and they look out the window.*** Frenchy: Oh my god, what are the guys doing here? Rizzo: I don't know, but I think I have just found myself a sexy stud out there. *licks her lips* Marty: Who? Rizzo: That one over there with the sunglasses and goatee. (Rizzo obviously has good taste, hehe) Nick: Ew, that guy is WEIRD! Frenchy: Tell me about it. What's even worse is that he's still a virgin! ***Marty and Nick gasp frightfully*** Rizzo: So he's a virgin, huh? Well, it's about time I took his virginity! ***Rizzo opens the window and climbs down off the roof*** Frenchy: Rizzo, what are you doing? Rizzo: I'm gonna show that hot guy a good time. Marty: Are you out of your mind Rizzo? Rizzo: Yes, totally out of it. Marty: Oh, ok, that's what I thought. ***Rizzo jumps down onto the driveway and strolls over to the guys.*** Rizzo: Nice bunch you are, rustling to help a lady. Brian: Lady? I don't see no lady. *the guys laugh* Howie: Guys, shut up! That was mean! Rizzo: So this is why they call you Sweet D... Howie: Yep, that's me. *flashes Rizzo a huge smile* Rizzo: Ew, you have buck teeth! Get away from me! ***Howie is ashamed and immediately closes his mouth*** Rizzo: Now, you are fine! AJ: Who, me? Rizzo: No, Al Gore. Of course you! AJ: *blushes* Well, you ain't so bad yourself. ***Rizzo smiles at AJ and instantly inches towards him*** AJ: Come here, baby, I'll give you what you need! ***Rizzo and AJ drive off in his car, leaving the other guys behind on Frenchy's driveway.*** Kevin: Well, that was certainly rude. Howie: Tell me about it. Brian: I'm going home. Howie: Ok bye Brian. Kevin and I are gonna go for a slice of pizza. Kevin: Hell yeah! *starts chanting* Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza... ***Brian walks away, and Howie and Kevin go to the pizza parlor.*** ***Now we're gonna skip right to the part where they graduate and are at the school carnival, because the parts inbetween are really boring.*** ***Brian and the guys look around for Sandy, because Brian wants one last chance with her. Suddenly Howie spots someone walking towards them, but they don't recognize the guy.*** Strange guy: Yo guys, wut up? The others: AJ?????????????????? AJ: Duh, it's me! Howie: What the fuck have you done to yourself?? AJ: I took Brian's advice, and I changed my image. Kevin: Damn, you are REALLY good-looking now! You're gonna attract all the girls man, I'm talking about ALL the girls! ***AJ grins widely*** Brian: Your hair is brown, like it should be. You got rid of your tattoos with laser surgery. You shaved off your goatee. You're wearing normal clothes. But what shocks me the most is, YOU AREN'T WEARING ANY SUNGLASSES! AJ: Damn right. I'm losing the sunglasses for one reason only: That Rizzo says I have beautiful eyes. Howie: That's because you do. Kevin: Yeah, your eyes are cool, man, even if they ARE brown. AJ: Well, yeah, I think the girls are gonna like me now that I'm a presentable human being! Howie: You're a human???? I always took you for a space alien, because you always looked so weird. ***The guys howl with laughter*** ***Suddenly, the girls and Sandy walk towards them with Sandy's new look.*** Brian: Sandy! Nick: No, my name is Nick. Brian: What??????? Nick: I was pretending to be a girl for the fun of it, Brian. Brian: But....but....b..b..b..but- Nick: Save it, man. I am Nicholas Gene Carter, an 18-year-old guy from Ruskin, Florida. I'm not a freak girl named Sandy. Brian: Sandy...Nick....whatever your name is.... Nick: Yes Brian? Brian: I love you. Nick: That is just what I was about to say! When I was Sandy, I grew to really love Brian as a boyfriend and a lover. ***Everyone gasps*** Marty: You.... Nick: Yes, it is true. I am bisexual. ***Everyone gasps, Jan faints*** Nick: ALl the rumors you've heard about me are completely true. I am gay. I am bisexual. But most importantly, I love Brian Littrell! Brian: Oh I love you Nick Carter! Nick: I love you Frick. Brian: I love you Frack. AJ: OH WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?!?!?!?! Kevin: *growls* AJ: Oh, sorry dude. Kevin: You're forgiven. AJ: Yay! ***They all break out into song and dance.*** We go together like BSB BSB BSB BSB Remembered forever as BSB BSB BSB BSB Chang chang BSB BSB We'll always be together BSB yeah We're one of a kind, like BSB BSB BSB BSB Because we're Backstreet Boys BSB BSB BSB BSB We'll always be together! For years to come! ***They all go back to the story.*** Howie: What the hell was that piece of shit? Kevin: It was another gay song from the original Grease. Brian: Oh my god! Marty: Ew, let's sing a better song! Jan: Ok. *starts singing off-key* I'll never *with extreme force* BREAK YOUR HEART... ALL: JAN STOP SINGING! Jan: Ok ok now you tell me! Girls: Oy vey! Brian: How about me and the guys sing a better song? Guys: Yeah! ***The guys break into song and dance.*** Nick: *in a beautiful, harmonious voice* I don't know what he does to make you cry but I'll be there to make you smile. I don't have a fancy car, to get to you I'd walk a thousand miles. Brian: I don't care if he buys you nice things. Does his gifts come from the heart? I don't know, but if you were my girl, I'd make it so we'd never be apart. All: But my love is all I have to give. Without you I don't think I can live, Brian: I wish I could give the world to you. All: But love is all I have to give. ***Rimma wipes a tear from her eye*** Rimma: Oh, that's so beautiful, guys, I loved it! Guys: *all bow* Thank you almighty one! Rimma: *devilish grin* So Nick's secret is revealed. AJ changed his identity. Brian and Nick found their true love for each other. Basically another happy ending. ***THE END***