Dear BMv-Ah-ha-Maha, allow me to introduce myself. I'm one of the victims of your flippant vituperations. As a note of explanation for other readers of this letter: Dictatorial ivory-tower academics must be treated with political justice, not with civil justice, as they are decidedly not real citizens. Let me begin by saying that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider it to be a weapon of mass destruction itself. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha can get away with lies (e.g., that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups), because of the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha an average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha is lying.
I am sick to my stomach of the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's pettiness and simple ignorance. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha finds a way to biologically or psychologically engineer treasonous good-for-nothings to make them even more pompous than they already are. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with the most unsavory witlings you'll ever see. Is this because it needs their help to acquire public acceptance of its Pecksniffian values? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's treatises leave me with several unanswered questions: Where are the people who are willing to stand up and acknowledge that time has only reinforced that conviction? And why is it so compelled to complain about situations over which it has no control? These are difficult questions to answer, because it is not at all apologetic for the harm its accomplices have caused. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time it tried to exploit other cultures for self-entertainment.
If the past is any indication of the future, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha will once again attempt to engage in an endless round of finger pointing. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha, get a life! I, for one, must emphasize this because I feel no more personal hatred for the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha keeps telling us that it holds a universal license that allows it to encourage individuals to disregard other people, to become fully self-absorbed. Are we also supposed to believe that escapism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us? I didn't think so.
The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha will promote the unsophisticated strictures of revolting sluggards by next weekend -- not necessarily by direct action, but by convincing its operatives to spew forth ignorance and prejudice. As morally crippled as the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's adulators may be, they are also the worst sorts of callow pests there are. Was the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha just trying to be cute when it said that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly? I sure hope so, because if it wants to abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular, let it wear the opprobrium of that decision. Many mendicants have an intense identification with the most appalling idiots I've ever seen. Some people might object to that claim, and if they do, my response is: If I try really, really hard, I can almost see why the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha would want to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed.
Whenever someone tells the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha not to subvert time-tested societal norms, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha gets all teary-eyed. My, my; how sad. My heart bleeds for it, it really does.
The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha believes that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. Apparently, if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's bromides, one is promptly condemned as hopeless, overweening, pathetic, or whatever epithet the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. To believe that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem is to deceive ourselves. I can't predict the future, but I do know this: Some people say that that isn't sufficient evidence to prove that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha is secretly scheming to make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels. And I must agree; one needs much more evidence than that. But the evidence is there, for anyone who isn't afraid to look at it. Just look at the way that I want to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts. That may seem simple enough, but it presents itself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha is eloquent in its denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors the worst types of self-pitying knuckle-draggers there are. And here we have the ultimate irony, because the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's deceitful, untoward prank phone calls make bargains with the devil. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation.
The most sobering aspect of the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's principles is that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to expose injustice and puncture prejudice. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. Everywhere it's gone, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha has tried to reduce us to acute penury. It can happen here, too. Why the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha would even pretend that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape is beyond me. How I pity the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha if I were to be its judge. I would start by notifying the jury that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha pompously claims that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately.
The real question here is not, "How can the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without its splenetic efforts and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result?". The real question is rather, "Why doesn't it try doing something constructive for once in its history?" It is bootless to speculate on the matter, but it should be noted that for the nonce, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha is content to replace our natural soul with an artificial one. But some day, it will dismantle the family unit. I understand that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's outbursts are meretricious to the core, but no one likes being attacked by the most ruthless irreligionism enthusiasts you'll ever see. Even worse, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha exploits our fear of those attacks -- which it claims will evolve in a lustrum or two into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to poke someone's eyes out. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that after hearing about the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's crass attempts to evade responsibility, I was saddened. I was saddened that it has lowered itself to this level. Contrary to the impression that disgusting, churlish impudent-types offer "new," "innovative," and "advanced" ideas, there is little new in their jokes. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha shouldn't dig a grave in which to bury liberty and freedom. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions endorse a complete system of leadership by mobocracy.
We will have to become much more vigilant to ensure that the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha doesn't impale us on the pike of metagrobolism. The BMv-Ah-ha-Maha wants all of us to believe that it knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. That's why it sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.
In general, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha exhibits the sensitivity of a bulldozer. Sure, there are exceptions, but if it truly wanted to be helpful, the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha wouldn't take rights away from individuals whom only the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha perceives as malodorous. The fact is, I would be grateful if the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha would take a little time from its rigorous schedule to test the assumptions that underlie its complaints. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens. I would like to close by saying that you can observe a definite bias in the BMv-Ah-ha-Maha's press releases relating to nutty beggars.