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Traitorous Bastard Poet

By Patrick Fairchild
Sing to "The Minstrel Boy"
Lord Roadapple Has gone to war 
A legend in the making 
His sword and musket He has girded on 
Our land to save from taking. 
"Majesty! Please so not lose hope!" 
He cried while buttering His corn with soap "
The Yanks in me Shall find no average dope 
As the bullet's 'Round me are snaking."

As water boy At fortress Ty 
He followed safely at a distance 
He took a flag At Freeman's Farm
Long after any armed resistance 
At Stanwix Fort He swung hard and free 
Dismenb'ring slowly That Fort's Christmas tree 
And on Newtown's land with ice cream in hand 
He ran off And has not been seen since.

Lord Roadapple He is not around
No longer with the Yankees fighting
His sword and musket Have been thrown to ground 
The great wrongs No longer felt like righting 
"Sorry King 'Twas not my thing" 
He said as Snowy winter turned to spring 
"I thought it best To just let Freedom ring 
So that I could Get on with my writing."

(c) 1998-2002 Doxstader's Co. of Loyalists 1