Dating Sites.

Why Do I Use Dating Sites?

Dating sites used to be the preserve of the "Sad and Separated", or the "Divorced and Desperate." Anorak geek has now become the new chic. Anyone who's anyone appears to have at least one dating site profile.

To me, even if I had the time and inclination to go out every night of the week, how many different women could I talk to in an evening? Well, one at least, you'd hope, four or five maybe? How many blow you out? Most of them, most of the time? Always searching and hoping for that elusive Mr Right.

At least this way, I can narrow it down, females in my area, that are in my age group, who at least say they are single and that I like the look and/or sound of. I can click through hundreds, nay, thousands of profiles and whittle it down to the ones I like.

I can then begin to initiate contact with these lucky women. Some of them seem to take offence that you sent a message to another woman, but hold on there just a minute, you don't join a dating site to contact just one person. Even if you had decided that this was the one and only woman for you, the chances are, that someone she perceives as any combination of: better looking, hunkier, funnier, sexier or just more compatible has beat you to it. Indeed, you too may be at the end of a very long list, or maybe she had so many messages, that she didn't even feel the need to put you on the aforementioned said list in the first place.

So, in my (humble) opinion, if I send a woman a message, it's because I think that she's at least half decent enough to warrant further investigation and hope that she feels the same way. Online conversation is all very well, but it soon dries up if you have no common ground. For me, the ultimate goal is to meet someone.

Now some women seem to be terrified of this prospect. It seems to me that they think everyone they are going to meet on the internet is going to be a psychotic, bunny boiling, axe murderer. if they feel that way, then maybe they're looking in the wrong place? How many of them have had a drunken fumble with a stranger in a pub or club and have then gone off with them? This is without any checks or precautions.

Now compare online dating. You have maybe talked for a long while, perhaps by messages on the dating site, then email, perhaps then some instant messaging. You may then progress to telephone calls. If you arrange to meet, you can make it somewhere public (bring a chaperone, if you're nervous), tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to be back. Arrange that all important escape phone call, whereby a friend phones to see if all is okay and if it's going terribley, you can make your excuses about some emergency, or what ever and leave.

Fear of rejection is also a big deterrent to people wanting to meet. Either they don't want to be rejected or are worried about the other person's reaction if they subsequently become the rejectee.

The best way to avoid this is to keep it light. A good maxim is, "It is better to thave a good friend, rather than a bad lover." Keep this in mind, you're just meeting an acquaintance for coffee, or a drink. I wouldn't plan a meal for a first date. Not withstanding the expense, do you really want to spend that long with someone if you can't stand each other, or have no spark, chemistry, or X-Factor with them? If you do have that, you'll soon know and you can then progress to the next date, or what ever?

People seem to have far too unrealistic expectations in general with regards to on-line dating. They should NEVER expect too much, in my experience. At least then, they might actually be rather quite pleasantly surprised. A lot of people actually tend to end up with people they have known for years. Another reason for keeping things light and friendly. You might not fancy the person you meet, initially, but could build up a great friendship. Even if you don't end up together, you are widening your potential circle of matches through associations in the real world. So it could be a friend or relative of someone you met online.

What Annoys Me About Dating Sites?

Certain things annoy me about dating sites:

These are:

• Gay men trying to clearly hit on a straight guy - This is a rare occurrence, but why do some idiots bother?
• Transvestites listing themselves as straight women - SORRY GUYS! YOU'RE BLOKES! List yourselves as gay men or even lesbians if you want women and incur their wrath instead, for a change? These don't bother me either, but slow down the search results when I am looking for straight women.
• The same can be said for transexuals. Now some people will berate me here, but again, I think they need separate categories on sites.
• Prostitutes - some of these are more obvious than others and often just try to get you on web cam to steal your credit card details. Again, there are specific sites for this, please stick to them and we will all be happier as you will be contacting and contacted by people looking for you and your services.
• Con merchants trying to get you to give them credit for their mobile phone (E-Top Up Codes) or buying them something from their Amazon wishlist (probably so they can get a refund), in exchange for pornographic images of themselves.
• Foreign Nationals seeking marriage. They usually reside in Africa (and don't like to admit it) or Eastern Europe. Why would they want to marry someone they hadn't even met? Again, these are all well know cons, "please send me money", " I used to live in your country, but came home to care for a sick relative." I think if that's true, they should concentrate on that, rather than dating sites. If they do marry you, they will usually try and take your money and property through the courts. If you follow the majority (not all) of these marriages for 2 or 3 years.

I'm really NOT trying to be offensive with my comments above! Honestly I'm not! I do realise that these are a very small minority of cases. In some cases, as with the transexuals, etc., it may be a mistake or just not knowing where to classify themselves and it could be as frustrating for them as it is for us. Hence, the need for better classifications on dating sites.

What Dating Sites Do I Use?

I think most dating sites are a con. Some sites have the same owners. If you join one of the following:

2CR FM's Graham Torrington From Late Night Love.