Part 9
Spike patrolled alone the next night. It was clear that Buffy needed more training and she didn't want to go just as much as he didn't want her to come. He hated the idea of her being in danger. He'd promised her he couldn't be out long, she was alone in the house and they'd agreed to get a video or something when he got back. She was desperately trying to get some sort of normality in her life and he was doing his best to help, even though living with a vampire and a mystical Key was hardly normal.
He staked a couple of vampires and after scouting the perimeter of the cemetery he decided it was enough and began to walk back towards the gate. He stopped when a figure moved out from the bushes. He raised his stake and lowered it again when he saw who it was.
"Well, well, well. Look who's back from the deepest beyond." he smirked.
"Shut up, Spike." Riley spat. "What the hell have you done to Buffy?"
"Nothing."
"Don't pull that crap with me. I saw you with her last night, in the cemetery. She kissed you!"
Spike resisted the urge to grin as he remembered the kiss. "And? You've been gone six months, soldier-boy. Did you really expect Buffy to sit around and brood over you? She's not Angel, she moved on."
Riley snorted. "To you? I don't think so, there's no way it would ever be you. You're beneath her."
Trying not to flinch at the words, Spike raised his head. "If I'm so 'beneath her' then maybe you'd like to explain why I moved in with her and Dawn over a month ago."
Riley glared at him. "You've done something to her, I know it. A spell. A curse. I'm going to find out what it is. You just stay away from her and Dawn from now on
Spike took a step forward. "What are you going to do? Stake me with one of your little toy stakes again?"
"Thought I'd try the real thing this time." Riley pulled a wooden stake out of his pocket and lunged at Spike who dodged the blow quickly and wrenched his wrist to let go of the stake, which cluttered to the ground. The chip throbbed slightly but as soon as Spike let go Riley's wrist he was fine.
"Tsk, tsk Riley, once bitten twice…" A swift uppercut sent Spike back. He flew into the gate, denting it. Spike looked up at Riley in pure shock.
"I can see someone's been taking their vitamins again." Spike stood up, his back silently screaming. He had two options: run or run faster. Spike shook that thought out of his head just before Riley tackled him. They rolled on the grass wrestling for dominance and Spike threw Riley off of him.
"Give me a bloody break! You've been gone for months and now you want to step back into her life like nothing ever happened? Like stuff hasn't happened? I was here when she needed someone and you weren't and it eats you alive that she'd turn to me before you. But the matter of fact is, Charlie; you don't fit in around here anymore. You are out of the picture, Riley. Hell, you aren't even in the same album. So, take some advice from me and piss off. You have no idea what's happened over the last couple of months with Buffy."
"There is one thing I do know. I know that she'd never want you. Not in her right mind, anyway. You did something to her and now I'm going to do something to you," Riley said, a sudden click in the air stopped all logic that Spike could have talked to him about. Spike stared at the barrel of the gun, well, actually the silencer at the end of the gun. Riley smiled. "You can't mess with Buffy like this. I know that you did something to her. She'd never touch you with a ten-foot pole. So, you are going to pay."
"For the love of God, man, you…" was all Spike could get out
before the first bullet tore through his shoulder.
Spike looked down at the gaping wound as his blood trickled out of it. "Bloody
hell."
Before Spike could even recover from the shock, another bullet tore into his abdomen. The third shot hit his upper right arm effectively immobilising it and the fourth hit his inner thigh.
"Gosh, I'm getting rusty. That wasn't where I was aiming for." Riley looked at the gun and decided fists equal fun. He tossed the piece of metal near the bag he brought and tackled the weakened vampire.
They rolled onto the paved path of the cemetery. Spike got the upper hand with his good arm and punched Riley back, sending rippling waves of pain through his brain. Spike staggered backwards. Riley was on top of him in a second and Spike's skull hit the concrete hard, putting the vampire in a daze. Riley straddled him and rained punches to Spike's face. Spike tried to push off Riley but he was like a wild man and Spike's body throbbed in pain. Riley stopped his assault when he was sure that Spike's pretty little face wasn't so pretty.
Then he felt the rage build in him again as images of Spike and Buffy in bed together rolled into his mind. He palmed Spike's mushy face with one hand and started to bang his head into the concrete. He didn't care the vampire was already unconscious he just wanted the image to stop. And only when it did, did he stop.
Riley looked at the blood on his hands and then gazed down at the bloody pulp on the floor. And gave the limp figure a kick to the ribs.
Despite the thrill it would give him to stake Spike right there, he'd lost the wooden weapon somewhere in the scuffle. He glanced at his watch. The sun would be up in a couple of hours, might as well let nature do its job. He dealt Spike another kick to the ribs, almost relishing in the sound of them breaking. He then turned and headed home. As soon as morning came he was going to the magic shop, at least now Sunnydale had one less vampire to worry about.
* * *
Pain. That was the first thing Spike was aware of as he slowly drifted back to consciousness. There wasn't one part of his body that didn't hurt in some way. After lying still for a few minutes, he decided that opening his eyes might be a good idea. Unfortunately, Riley had done a good job and he could barely open them into thin slits. Still, it was enough for him to be able to see that the sky was starting to lighten. Dawn was approaching. He had to get out of there, but he wasn't sure he could move. Several bones at least were broken and if that included his legs, he was as good as dust.
He slowly sat up, clenching his teeth as the pain of his broken ribs knifed him. It was all he could do to stop himself from screaming. Once the pain had eased a little, he tried to move his legs. They hurt, but he didn't think they were broken. Now, all he had to do was stand. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. Somehow he managed to push himself onto his feet and immediately stumbled as the leg Riley had shot gave way. He caught himself on a headstone and waited for a moment before trying to stand again. He staggered towards the gate; he had to make it out of here. For Buffy's sake.
* * *
He'd made it onto Buffy's street, falling only a couple of times. Despite the fact that what little strength he had was fading fast, he forced himself to smile through the pain. Not far to go, he was going to make it. The sky was a light shade of pink now; there wasn't much time. He tried to quicken his pace a little but that only caused him to stumble and drop to his knees. He picked himself up and carried on. He could see her house now, not far to go. He forced himself to continue despite the fact his body was calling out for rest.
He was in the garden, and his vision was fading. No! Not now, not when I'm so close. Just a few more steps, please. If I can just call out to Buffy. His legs gave way and he was unconscious before he could even open his mouth.
* * *
Although it was early, Buffy was sitting downstairs reading her diaries. She'd found them when she'd been exploring her room, trying to figure out where everything was kept. Reading them was weird. Almost as though she was reading about someone else's life and not her own. Still, it was reassuring to see that what she read had backed up what Spike had told her. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was just nice to have further proof of his story. It was more detailed too; she was able to see how she had been feeling in all the events that had taken place. The diaries also filled the gaps that Spike had been unable to. She still remembered nothing though, and that was the frustrating thing.
She was distracted from her reading by the sound of a crash coming from outside. She put down the diary and picked up a stake. The sun was almost up, but it was better to be safe. She opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, the stake dropped from her hand. Spike was lying face down on the lawn, just a few feet from the house. For a split second she prayed that he was drunk and had just passed out, but she knew it was something much worse. She ran over to him and rolled him onto his back.
"Oh my God." she whispered in horror. His face was barely recognisable, just one big mass of cuts and bruises. She was pretty sure his nose was broken and he was bleeding from several chest wounds as well as one on his arm and one on his leg. Ignoring the tears pouring down her face, she lifted Spike into her arms and carried him into the house.
* * *
Part 10
Carrying Spike up the stairs, she placed him gently on her bed before running into the bathroom and pulling out every single medical item she could find. She then ran back into her room and sat at Spike's side. With trembling hands she opened the first aid kit and glanced back down at Spike. She had no idea where to start, he'd taught her some basic first aid, but nothing that would deal with wounds this serious. Still, she had to do something.
As carefully as she could, she lifted him into a sitting position and eased his duster off. Placing it on the chair beside the bed, she realised that that had been the easy part. Getting his shirt off was going to be a completely different matter. In the end she decided to solve the matter simply. She pulled a small pair of scissors out of her drawer and cut the shirt off.
The sight she was presented with made her feel nauseous. He chest was literally drenched in blood, pouring from the wounds, which were still bleeding. She put her hand to her mouth and swallowed back the taste of bile. What kind of demon could have done this to him? She ran into the bathroom once more and filled a bowl with warm water and a cloth. She carried it back in and began to gently clean the blood from him. She grimaced as the white cloth quickly turned red, as did the water, but she didn't stop until he was clean. She quickly placed some gauze pads over the holes and taped them in place. She just hoped it would be enough.
She then turned her attention to his arm; she cleaned up the blood and wrapped a bandage tightly around it. Finally she moved onto his leg. Her face flushed red as she unbuckled his jeans and slid them off his legs as carefully as she could. She was too sick with worry to even think about being relieved that he wasn't going completely au naturale. She just wanted him to wake up and be ok.
Once she'd bandaged his leg wound and cleaned up his face as best she could, she took the bowl and the medical supplies back into the bathroom. It was then that she heard him groan. She quickly hurried back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed beside him.
"Spike?"
He opened his eyes as much as he could and saw Buffy gazing worriedly down at him. He wanted to tell her that he was ok, but instead he began to cough harshly, his whole chest feeling as though it was on fire. Buffy stared in alarm as a small trickle of blood ran down his chin. He was obviously hurt even worse than she had first thought. Once the coughing had stopped, she wiped the blood from his chin. Then she began to cry, it was all too much. She didn't know what to do. She wanted so desperately to make him better but she didn't know how. Spike reached out took her hand in his, squeezing it weakly.
"Blood." he whispered, so quietly she barely heard him.
Of course. Why hadn't she thought of that? Blood would help him heal. She jumped to her feet, ran downstairs, and quickly heated some blood in the microwave. Not even bothering with a mug she took the three bags upstairs and used the scissors to cut them open. She then used one hand to raise his head and the other to hold the bag to his lips. She didn't let go until he'd drained all three bags, then she lowered his head back to the pillow.
"Thanks." he whispered, before closing his eyes and falling asleep. Buffy sat beside him for a while, gently stroking his hair and praying that the blood would be enough to heal him. She felt drained and exhausted, and after a while she climbed into bed beside him. She was careful not to touch him for fear of hurting him but she stayed close in case he needed her. Closing her eyes, she soon drifted off to sleep.
Part 11
Dawn got up early the next morning; Giles had asked for some help in the shop and had even offered to pay her, much to Anya's dismay. She'd agreed of course; extra money was always a good thing. She passed Buffy's closed door and assumed her sister was still asleep. She decided not to disturb her. She made herself some toast for breakfast and then headed out.
Arriving at the shop, she discovered that Giles and Anya weren't the only ones there. Xander had decided to spend the day with Anya, and Willow and Tara were picking up ingredients for a spell.
"I just don't get why he's still there," Xander argued, not hearing
Dawn come in. "It's not like he's
needed anymore."
"Agreed," replied Giles. "She seems to be spending an awful lot of time with him. We've barely seen her since…it happened."
"Come on, guys," said Willow. "You saw how devastated Spike was when we lost Buffy. He really does love her."
"That's what concerns me," said Giles dryly. "With all this time she's spending with him, we could very well end up with another Angel situation on our hands. I don't think that would be good for her."
"And I suppose we don't get a say in this?" Dawn asked with annoyance. "Perhaps me and Buffy like having Spike in the house. I can't believe you guys want him out after everything he's done for me, for all of us. No one asked him to patrol while Buffy was asleep; he just did it. No one asked him to look after me either. I know he's a vampire but he's always looked out for me, even when it had nothing to do with Buffy."
Giles took on his fatherly tone, which she hated. "Dawn, I realise that you're fond of Spike, and we do appreciate everything he's done, but we just feel that perhaps a little distance is needed. We're not asking him to leave town or anything like that, just to move back into his crypt."
"He can't live there!" Dawn exclaimed. "It's cold, has no electricity and it hasn't even got a bed."
"Come on, Dawnster," Xander tried to reason. "Spike lived in that crypt for two years; I think he can cope."
Dawn opened her mouth to argue back when she saw the door open. Her jaw dropped. Everyone else looked over to where she was staring and their expressions soon matched her own.
Riley stood uncomfortably. He'd wanted to talk to Giles in private and hadn't expected to see the whole gang here. After a minute Xander stepped forward.
"Riley! It's good to see you. When did you get back?"
"A few days ago." He replied.
"That's great! Have you seen Buffy? Does she know you're here?"
Riley shook his head. "That's why I came here. I think there's something wrong with Buffy. I think Spike did something to her."
Everyone immediately looked concerned with the exception of Dawn who just stared at him in disbelief.
"Spike would never hurt Buffy!" she exclaimed.
Giles stepped forward, eyeing the young soldier coldly. "Perhaps you should explain exactly what you mean. I find it hard to believe that Spike would harm Buffy. Your government chip sees to that." Dear God! He thought to himself. I'm defending Spike here.
"I don't mean he's hurt her physically." he explained. "But he's done something to her. I saw them together in the cemetery the other night. She kissed him."
"Are you sure?" Giles asked with disbelief.
"I know what I saw." Riley replied firmly.
Dawn smiled to herself. It was about time Buffy realised how perfect Spike was for her.
"I think Spike must have cast some sort of spell on her. There's no way she'd go near him."
Willow stepped forward. "Riley, a lot has happened since you left. It might not be a spell you know. Things have changed."
"I agree." said Giles. "But we have noticed some unusual behaviour in Buffy. Perhaps we should talk to Spike about this."
"It's too late for that." Riley said quietly.
Everyone looked puzzled.
"What do you mean?" asked Anya.
Dawn was the first to realise what Riley was implying. She grabbed hold of his arm.
"What did you do to him?" she asked dangerously.
When Riley didn't answer, she let go of his arm and ran out of the door, heading for home. When she was gone Riley looked back at the others.
"Would someone mind telling me what happened while I was gone?"
* * *
Dawn threw open the front door to the house, not caring how loudly it banged.
"SPIKE?" she screamed frantically.
Nothing.
She ran down into the basement and saw that his bed was empty. Tears began to burn in her eyes as she ran back up the stairs and up to Buffy's room. She threw open the door and ran in.
"Buffy, Spike's--"
She stopped and her eyes widened when she saw the bruised and bloodied vampire lying in Buffy's bed. Buffy was sitting beside him, holding a mug of blood to his lips.
"Oh, Spike." Dawn whispered as she walked over to the bed and knelt at his side. Spike finished drinking and gave her a weak smile.
"Hey Little Bit." he croaked
His chest, arm and leg were bandaged and his face was badly swollen. He looked worse than he had when Glory had tortured him. She began to cry. Spike brushed the tears away from her eyes.
"Come on, now, we'll have none of that."
Buffy moved up on the bed, allowing Dawn to sit beside Spike. She reached out and stroked his hair.
"I can't believe he did this to you." she said softly.
Buffy's head snapped up. "You know who did this?"
Dawn nodded. "Riley showed up at the shop. He didn't say what he'd done, just that it was too late for us to talk to Spike. I figured he must have done something, that's why I came home."
Buffy stood up, her voice deadly cold. "Is he still there?"
Dawn nodded.
"I'm going over there." Buffy continued in her icy tone. "Keep an eye on Spike till I get back. There's blood in the fridge but he should try and sleep."
Before either of them could utter another word she strode out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
* * *
Part 12
Riley listened intently as the gang filled him in the past event of the last six months and couldn't believe what he was hearing. Xander and Giles told him everything and Willow added in her comments here and there.
"Joyce is dead? I can't believe it?" Riley gasped and then felt completely guilty because he wasn't there for Buffy.
"Yup, and everything began to fall apart after that. Glory tortured Spike; almost killed him. But he didn't squeal about Dawn for Buffy's and Dawn's sake." Riley's head snapped up at the mention of Spike's name, Xander continued. " Tara got brain-sucked by Glory."
Tara cringed at the thought and Willow grabbed her hand re-assuredly.
"And then Glory found out that Dawn was the key and then we were on the run."
"And Spike helped us out a lot," Willow inserted, getting a glare from Riley. Willow was getting tired of Riley fast. "What the hell do you know? I lost my best friend a month ago only to have her come back as a vegetable for weeks. We had no clue whether she'd wake up or not." Looking at Riley's statement of shook she continued, getting angrier by the second. "Yes, Buffy died. She closed the portal after a Doc cut Dawn open and bled her into the sky so I'm so sorry, Riley, that you don't have the same old Buffy. Shit happens. She died, monks brought her back to life and Spike has been helping her out ever since. And even if Buffy did kiss Spike so what?"
"Something is wrong with her, that's what."
"I think Riley maybe right. If Buffy kissed Spike, no matter what has happened I don't think that she would have feelings for him she has made it very clear." Giles said concerned.
"Hello? Two people…"
"He's not a person." Riley corrected Willow. She sighed, throwing her hands in the air and sat down in a chair.
"Come on, Will; he's right." Xander agreed. "She's been acting weird lately. Ever since…"
"Her rebirth." Anya finished.
"Yes, Anya. Her rebirth." Xander held Anya close to him and kissed her cheek. "Willow she's been avoiding us and when we see her, she barely says a word unless it's about Spike or Dawn. Remember when Angel called you. He said that she was kind of edgy when he talked to her. And Giles and her training. She has been avoiding that like the plague. She barely patrols anymore and when she does Spike seems to be by her side constantly. I think Riley could be right."
Suddenly the Magic shop door burst open as Buffy stormed into the store. Riley's statement softened as he watched her flowing blond hair flutter around her shoulders, her small frame exuding energy and power.
Buffy smiled as she approached Riley who immediately brought down his guard, he thought he was the biggest idiot not trying to work it out with her and for leaving so soon.
"Riley?" Buffy asked as she looked at the hulking figure in front of her.
"Buffy!" Riley smiled as he looked down at his first love. Her hazel eyes looked back up at him. She looked up at him lovingly and he nearly melted. Then the surprise and warmth in her eyes turned to sudden hatred. And before he knew what happened he was reeling from the hardest slap to the face that he ever felt. His head snapped back with such force that his neck cracked. He brought his hand to his face and realised that his nose was bleeding.
"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed as the Scoobies watched in shock.
"What, Giles? That's just the start." Buffy reeled back her hand for another blow but Riley saw that coming and Buffy knew that he'd counter this and that he would leave open a vulnerable spot instead. She kneed him in the groin and punched him hard in the face. Riley went down like a sack of potatoes. Xander grabbed Buffy's hand before she could land another blow to Riley. Giles rushed to Riley's side and Willow rushed to Buffy's.
"What is going on?" Giles asked Buffy angrily.
"Why don't you ask him? Ask him what he did to Spike. Ask him what he did to someone who was unable to protect himself against him. He's an animal. I can't believe I used to go out with you." Buffy shrieked her hands shaking with rage.
"Buffy…" Riley sputtered out a trail of blood leaving his split lip. "He's done something to you…a spell. Something."
"Spike has done nothing to me." Buffy yelled, lunging for the soldier again but Xander grabbed her waist, dragging her back toward the table. Tara and Anya stared at the Slayer in disbelief.
"Riley, what happened to Spike?" Willow asked.
"I-I…" Riley searched Buffy's face and saw the loathing in her eyes.
"He beat him senseless, shot him even though he knew it wouldn't kill him and then left him for the sun. If I hadn't found him lying unconscious on our lawn he'd be dust right now."
"He's done something to you; I saw you kissing him."
"So what? You don't have a claim on me." Buffy stated the obvious.
"Buffster, what is going on with you and Spike?" Buffy spun around to face Xander who had let her go finally.
"Nothing is going on with me and Spike. He's not my enemy or yours." The Slayer looked at the gang.
"Buffy, you've been acting weird ever since…" Xander never knew the right word to say and Anya always had to say something.
"Your awakening," Anya said and then whispered to Tara. "He has issues."
Tara looked at Anya strangely, and nodded in agreement.
"Weird? I have not," Buffy began to feel a little panicky at this point; they had been talking about her. "I'm the same old Buffy."
"You are but…" Willow whispered. Buffy looked at her best friend. "We don't do 'Espresso Wednesdays' anymore when you and I talk about everything. You are rarely at the shop. I mean, Buffy, you just kind of left us high and dry and I understand that things have changed since…but you used to talk to me about everything, and now you don't. Even after your…" Willow, like Xander, choked on those words every time they were supposed to some out. "You never came and talked to me about it."
"Willow there was nothing to talk about. It was something that happened." Buffy tried to assure, but the tears in Willow's eyes brought tears to her own.
"I'm sorry, but after what you said to Dawn on the tower I thought…" Willow looked at Buffy's face. She observed the Slayer's searching glance as if trying to recall the event and she instantly knew. Giles also looked up at Buffy and could see the confusion marring the Slayer's face.
Buffy's breathing began to quicken and Willow watched as her chest heaved up and down in panic, and Willow knew it was much deeper. "What do you remember, Buffy? About everything? About all of us? About your life?"
"I know that you are my best friend, Giles is my Watcher, all the rest, Willow." Buffy replied.
"Fine, what's Xander's middle name?
Buffy stared blankly for a sec and Willow continued.
"What does Faith look like? Who is Kendra? Kakistos? Sid? Nancy? Jonathan? Sunday? Kathy?"
Some of the names seemed vaguely familiar but she couldn't think of all of the people whose names were shooting at her.
"Buffy?" Giles asked as Riley sat down in the chair with a towel that Anya had brought holding it to his lips. "Buffy what do you remember?"
"I…I remember everything. What kind of question is that?" Buffy laughed nervously, looking at the accusing eyes that stared at her.
"Fine." Xander said. "What did I tell you the night Riley left?"
Buffy was a complete blank for the last question. And now they all knew.
"Buffy?" Willow stepped in front of her best friend and held her shoulders. Buffy continued to stare at the ground. And then finally drew her eyes up to Willow. Tears threatened to spill from the brims as she looked sadly into her best friend's eyes.
"Willow, I…" Buffy choked on the words as her best friend hugged her tightly. "I don't remember anything. When I woke up I didn't know who any of you were and I was scared. An-and Spike knew as soon as he saw me that something was wrong and I begged him to help me. I didn't want you know. I wanted to remember on my own and I trusted him."
"You should have come to us, Buffy." Willow whispered in her ear.
"But I trusted Spike and he told me to tell you guys, but the looks on your faces when I first saw you…I didn't want to disappoint you. I just couldn't…" Buffy cried on Willow's shoulder.
Riley got up painfully and walked over to Buffy and gently put his hand on her shaking shoulder. Willow quickly let go of her friend. Buffy turned expecting to see Giles or Xander but instead she saw Riley and her face instantly went cold. Riley flinched before he started. "Buffy, we can help you remember things that Spike doesn't know about. He probably only told you stuff that he thought you should know and he probably tainted a lot of it."
"Spike told me everything he knows about me and that he did." Giles and Xander both looked sceptical at her about that. "He told me about Angel and you. And the reason we broke up" She looked at Riley. "About the Buffy-bot, about parent-teacher night, him kidnapping Xander and Willow, him trying to kill me a couple dozen times, Adam, his chip, Glory, and everything that he could. The good, the bad and the uglies…and, yes, I know he loves me."
"No! He thinks he's in love with you." Riley corrected.
Buffy looked at him and then smiled slightly through her tears. "He is."
"Buffy, we are just very concerned that you didn't come to us but we understand." Giles assured stepping toward the Slayer. Riley moved, giving the Watcher and Slayer a bit of room. Giles pulled Buffy into a warm embrace. "I should have known. I should have realised. But, Buffy, we are here for you now and anything that you need you can come to us for help. We are your family. And we will be there for you." Giles' father like toned continued on. "We need to find out exactly how much you know and what exactly Spike has filled you in on."
* * *
Buffy stayed at the shop for the next three hours, answering questions and finding out a lot of stuff that Spike didn't know. Riley added his two cents every time he could, but he seemed to be getting dirty looks from everyone by the end of the session. Buffy called home every half an hour to check up on Dawn and Spike. Dawn relayed that he hadn't woken up and Buffy was getting worried. Giles reassured her that Spike would be fine and they continued to tell her stories about her life in Sunnydale. Most of the stuff she didn't believe, and a lot of it was laughable and tragic.
Xander ordered pizza, putting all of Buffy's favourite toppings on it. They laughed and drank cherry cokes and caught up. She finally felt like they were family. These people whom she had avoided for the last couple of weeks were funny and interesting and fallible. But most of all they cared.
Buff went in the training room and looked at the array of weapons and the locker that she kept a lot of her stuff in. She knew that he had followed her in there but she didn't want to acknowledge him.
"Buffy, we need to talk." he said softly.
"About what, Riley?"
"About us. We had something good for a while, Buffy, and I came here to get it back. I was hurting and I couldn't deal with it and I went about it the wrong way. I thought that we could go back to the way things were but I see that we can't. And I have a feeling that we just weren't meant to be."
Buffy finally turned to face him. "I don't think so either, Riley. A lot of things I remember were from my diary. I wrote down the way you made me feel and the way that you hurt me and I don't think that I want to go there with you again."
"But it won't be. It'll be a clean slate."
"I think that that slate is already dirty. You jumped to conclusions and you went after someone that I care about because you thought it was what you should do. You think you know me so well and that the good old Buffy wouldn't kiss Spike of her own free will. But she did. I did. When he saved my sister and I. When he didn't tell Glory about Dawn. Spike, even though the gang doesn't believe it, loves Dawn and I. I trust Spike when he says that he won't hurt me. He's that honest. I see it in his eyes. I trust him and he trusts me, which is more then I can say for you. I think that you should leave, Riley. I think that you should go and find a woman that is perfect for you and that will make you happy. Because if the Buffy before didn't, I certainly won't. I'm in love with Spike and I can't believe that it was you who made me realise that." Buffy walked out of the training room, leaving the soldier staring at the blank space before him.
* * *
Buffy walked home feeling happy, she walked home to be greeted by Dagon; that's what they named Dawn's kitten, after the Dagon Sphere. As Dagon rubbed herself against Buffy's legs, Dawn hurried down the stairs, picked up the kitten, and filled Buffy in on Spike's progress.
"Dawn, we need to talk."
"Yes, Buffy?" Dawn cradled the green-eyed kitten in her arms.
"There's some stuff going on that you need to know about. Some stuff about me."
Dawn looked nervously at her sister; usually these talks meant only bad things happened or were about to.
Buffy continued. "When I woke up I…I sort of didn't recognise any of you guys."
Dawn looked confused. "But you did eventually. I mean you knew our names and stuff and that I was your sister and stuff."
"No, I didn't."
"Then how did you…Spike. That's why he was all silent at my party." Dawn realised. "But you didn't want to tell me. You didn't know me. You didn't remember me. But you did…it came back to you right? Your memory and stuff came back? Buffy?"
"Dawn, my memory hasn't come back and I don't know if it will. I just know that I have a sister and friends that love me and care for me, and that want to help me." Buffy brushed a strand of hair away from Dawn's face.
"But you don't remember me or Mom?" Dawn choked out.
"Dawnie, I realise that I need you to help me remember everything. There is so much that Spike can't tell me but you can. And the gang helped me out a lot and now I need my sister. I need you to guide me."
Dawn gave her sister a big hug. "Why didn't you say something before? Actually wait. I can finish that one. You didn't want to worry us, and you didn't want us to be hovering." Buffy smiled at her sister. "You sure still do Buffy things."
Dagon chased after a rubber ball and the two girls, suddenly distracted, laughed as the kitten skidded across the parquet floor.
"We can start 'Buffy 101' tomorrow. Tonight I think that you should help Spike; he's really hurt." Dawn paused, picking up Dagon. "Buffy, what exactly did you and Spike do that made Riley that angry?"
Buffy stared blankly, trying to think of a lie.
"And don't tell me 'playing checkers'. I've heard that before and I didn't believe it then."
Buffy laughed and Dawn hurried up the stairs giggling.
* * *
When Buffy reached her room, Spike was still sleeping. Dawn had redressed his wounds, which were healing quickly although his face was a mass of cuts and bruises. She sat on the bed and watched him for a while. She couldn't help thinking that he was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. He was a survivor; a champion in his own right but definitely not conventional. She grabbed some clothes and went to have a shower.
* * *
Buffy grabbed a bag of blood from the fridge, warmed it in the microwave, and went up stairs with it. She quickly went to her room with the warm liquid and propped Spike up gently, putting the mug to his mouth. His vampire instinct kicked in and woke him up. He drank it quickly, still in a sleepy haze, opening his eyes when he had finished. Buffy smiled at him and gave him a gentle kiss. His eyes closed and he fell asleep, a small contented smile on his face. She stroked his hair for a few minutes, just thanking whoever could hear that he was ok. Finally she pulled the covers back over him and curled up beside him. She was soon sound asleep.
* * *
"I'm sorry, Buffy." Kendra smiled slightly.
"About my mind? My memories? S'ok." Buffy shrugged as they watched the sleeping vampire, his face healed, and his form peaceful and still "Can I have a lifetime to make new ones?"
"Not a lifetime. But make every new one count. Make every moment seem like it's your last. And, Buffy?"
"Yes, Kendra?"
"Always remember who loves you. And no regrets."
Buffy smiled at the fading vision before her. "No regrets."
* * *
Part 13
Things had definitely changed after Riley left. Buffy went to visit Angel and Faith. She need to know things that the others couldn't tell her and after her conversation with Faith, Buffy realised that Kendra was right live every moment like it's your last. Buffy was tired of trying to search for memories. What she really needed to do was make some of her own.
* * *
Spike couldn't believe that he was actually happy to patrol. It had been nearly three weeks since he took his beating at the hands of Captain Cardboard and was definitely looking for some demon payback. Tonight was basically uneventful. So he decided to head home. Home. He thought, nearly tripping over the curb. He laughed as he walked down the cemetery pathway.
* * *
"Well, are Dagon and Miss Kitty getting along?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, Buffy. Thanks for letting me sleep over at Willow and Tara's. Dagon says thanks too. Hey she's beating up Miss Kitty for the fuzzy mouse. I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy." With that Dawn hung up the phone.
Buffy looked at the room a total glow as the soft lights flickered magically. She sighed as she looked at the whole room. She hoped that everything was right and perfect as she quickly dashed up stairs.
Spike had no clue what was happening when he walked into the house. The soft glow and smell of scented candles were spread throughout the house. Spike was about to call to Buffy when he saw the white rose petals leading a trail up the stairs. He followed, a smile creeping over his face. He felt like he was about to burst and he definitely didn't know what to expect. Especially when the trail led to the bathroom. Now he was confused.
The shower was running and there was a pile of folded clothes on the chair. Spike frowned in confusion and walked over. There was a note on top of the clothes.
Spike
Have a shower, get changed and come downstairs.
Buffy.
He shrugged and decided to play along, stripping out of his clothes and stepping under the warm water of the shower. Once he was done, he dried himself and put on the clothes Buffy had left for him, a black silk shirt and a pair of black trousers. He had no idea where she'd gotten them from, or how she'd known his size, but they fitted perfectly. Now that he was ready, he opened the bathroom door and went downstairs.
The room was the same as it had been when he'd first gotten home, only now there was music playing softly in the background and the table had been set. He walked over and smiled. There was a rose and some candles in the centre of the table and two large dishes, one containing Spicy Buffalo Wings and the other containing Flowering Onions; his two favourite dishes.
Buffy stepped out from the kitchen and Spike's jaw dropped slightly. She was wearing a deep red, floor length, evening dress and her hair was piled up on her head with a few loose tendrils hanging down. She looked stunning.
"Are you going to sit down?" she asked softly.
Not taking his eyes off of her, Spike dropped down onto the chair and watched as she took a seat opposite him.
"Um…what's all this?" he asked when he finally found his voice.
"Just my way of saying 'thank you'." she replied, pouring some wine into his glass and then hers.
Spike gave a small smile. This was possibly the happiest night of his life. "You didn't have to do this you know."
"I wanted to."
They ate in silence and when they had finished, Buffy stood up and walked around the table so she was stood beside him. She held out her hand.
"Dance with me?"
Spike smiled, took her hand, and stood up. As if on cue, a new song began to play.
Buffy guided Spike into the centre of the room and rested her head on his chest. Spike flinched and took a small breath. Buffy looked up at him questioningly.
"Still a bit tender." He explained.
Buffy bit her lip and reached up to brush her fingers over the faint marks that still marred his face. She had come so close to losing him that night, but it had also made her realise something.
"I love you." she whispered.
Spike felt as though his heart would burst. He never dreamed he'd hear those words come from her lips; the same lips that were now pressed against his own. He returned her kiss with the fire, passion and love, in which it was given.
Finally they parted.
"I love you, too."
The song ended and Buffy took his hand and lead him upstairs with Kendra's words still ringing in her ears.
No regrets
The End