My wife is like an Angel, always in the air and forever harping on about things.My husband is a very versatile man. He can do anything wrong.
A boss is a man who's early when you're late and late when you're early.
Doing a really good job on something is like wetting yourself on dark trousers -- You get a warm feeling where it counts but no one else notices.
Nothing is impossible for people who don't have to do it themselves.
A board meeting is something that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
A committee is a group of men who, individually, can do nothing, but collectively can meet to decide that nothing can be done.
Overheard in church, a young lady praising the new vicar:
"I know very little about sin until he came -- and he does make it so enjoyable..."You can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.
War does not determine who's right, war determines who's left.