Ever seen any of these in your performance review? Now you know what they really mean:
Term - GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Meaning - Spends a lot of time on the phone.
Term - AVERAGE EMPLOYEE
Meaning - Not too bright.
Term - EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED
Meaning - Made no major blunders yet.
Term - WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY
Meaning - Too ugly to get a date.
Term - ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Meaning - Drinks a lot.
Term - FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Meaning - Spouse drinks, too.
Term - INDEPENDENT WORKER
Meaning - Nobody really knows what he/she does.
Term - QUICK THINKING
Meaning - Offers plausible excuses.
Term - CAREFUL THINKER
Meaning - Won't make a decision.
Term - AGGRESSIVE
Meaning - Obnoxious.
Term - USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS
Meaning - Gets someone else to do it.
Term - EXPRESSES HIMSELF WELL
Meaning - Speaks some English.
Term - METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL
Meaning - A nit picking nut.
Term - HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES
Meaning - Is tall and has a deep voice.
Term - EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGMENT
Meaning - Lucky.
Term - CAREER MINDED
Meaning - Back-stabber.
Term - LOYAL
Meaning - Can't get a job anywhere else.
Term - KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR
Meaning - Knows a lot of dirty jokes.
Term - HAS AN EXTENSIVE PERSONAL LIBRARY
Meaning - Likes to copy rented porno movies.