"As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no
different to any other."
(John Sleightholme - BBC1)
"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a
goal."
(Jimmy Hill - BBC)
"Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names."
(Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)
"Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but
if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting
cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily."
(Louise Wener in Q Magazine)
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the
field."
(Metro Radio Sports Commentary)
Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off
at the altar on my wedding day."
Simon Fanshawe: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
(Talk Radio)
Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?"
15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."
(BBC Radio 4)
Presenter: "So what would happen if you mated the
woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
Palaeontologist: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule,
we'd
get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Palaeontologist: "Er, well yes, but elephant-shaped, and with tusks."
(GLR)
Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax after
that!"
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone saw
that."
(BBC)