Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.
Good: Your wife bought you a porn movie.
Bad: It's over five years old.
Worse: Your daughter's the star.
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse: So are you.
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.
Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.
Good: Your wife says you can go golfing all you want.
Bad: Because she's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.
Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47.
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year.
Good: The Teacher Likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The teacher is a man.
Good: You finally get a night out.
Bad: You're seen by the town gossip going into a strip show.
Worse: Your daughter is the headliner.