Monty Python: And God ascended from the heavens, and sayeth unto the
Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the
road, and
there
was much rejoicing. Yaaay.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken
did not cross the road.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone
ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around
all
over the place anyway?"
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office97, which will
not
only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file your important documents
AND
balance your checkbook. Unfortunately, when it divides 3 by 2 it gets
1.4999999999.
Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" But
is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected
in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross
roads.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him
down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will
be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone
told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good
enough for
us.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road. It
transcended
it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Colonel Harlan Sanders: I missed one?