We have to learn how to express love in the way the child/partner can "Feel" loved.
Each child (and Adult) has a PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE. We have to learn how to express love, and learn to speak the child/partner's primary love language. It takes effort and thought. It is like learning to speak a second language.
We all need love and appreciation. It is a deep human need to feel loved.
Teen-agers, run away from home to find love. Parents are often flabbergasted when they fetch their run-away and hear them say: "I don't feel loved at home." The parents, respond with "What do you mean, we don't love you?" We are working our butts off to give you a decent home, education etc.,
The 5 love languages are:
Don't try to push the child to 'perfection' or 'excellence' You are NOT helping the child - and the child will feel "I can never do anything right!" or "Nothing I do, is ever good enough for them!"
Tell your child: I love you. I thought of you. I wanted to give you a surprise. I wanted to see your excitement. I wanted to give you joy. I love to see you happy. I care about you. I love to see your eyes light up! - whatever! It will encourage the child to want to be kind and giving to you and others as well. We teach by example.
We all know how important "touching" is to the growth and developement of babies. We never outgrow that "need to be touched." Without being touched - we feel unloved and often "un-lovable."
When you FEEL loved - the whole world looks RIGHT.
If you enjoyed the article - the book is available from Joyce Meyer's web site for fifteen dollars. It is well worth the money and might help save your marriage!
HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHILD/PARTNER/FRIEND "FEEL" LOVED.
We wish that we knew this when we were bringing up our own children. We did not have any of the books available to today's parents - and simply went by instinct, and made a lot of mistakes.
Reshaan and Isaiah
Victoria and Jamey Scott
Children grow up normally when they feel loved.
They will feel VALUED, SECURE and APPRECIATED.
Jordan Davis
Jazzmyn, Jordan and Jade - Jodi&Brendon's
1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
You did a good job! I'm proud of your effort! You look good! Your hair looks pretty! I appreciate that! You did a great job, honey! You really tried your best! I am so proud of you! You remembered to.... I am so lucky to have such a wonderful child! I appreciate your thoughtfulness/help/kindness etc.,
Remember to praise for the "effort" and not for "perfection."
Jazzmyn, Jordan and Carreem
My great-grand-children.
PRAISE! APPLAUDE!! WELL DONE!! - Good Affirmations.
AFFIRM the EFFORT and do NOT "correct" or offer "suggestions" to the child. The child will TRY to do better the next time.
Granny and Isaiah2. ACTS OF SERVICE.
When they are babies, we do everything for them. As they get older, it takes much more effort and patience to teach them to do things for themselves. Doing something nice together. Teaching them to make their favourite snacks/meals. Showing them how to do the laundry. etc., Otherwise you have 18 year-olds, not being able to take care of themselves.
My son - Trevor3. GIVING GIFTS - an act of love and loving.
Giving gifts is a fundamental expression of love in all cultures. It does not have to be big or expensive. It can be something very small or hand-made. Book. Comic. Magazine. Crayons. Pencil. Cards. Game. Trinkets. Beads. (Lots of cheap gifts at the Dollar Stores)
My son-Howard,
Victoria and Granny4. UNDIVIDED ATTENTION - QUALITY TIME.
No multi-tasking! Don't answer the phone! Spending quality time with each child. TALKING and REALLY LISTENING. Don't always be "too busy working or watching TV!" Playing a game. Going for a walk. Reading a book. Going to the park. Playing in the snow. Building a snowman. Going for a picnic. Going fishing. Going on vacation. Watching a game. Doing crafts. Coloring a picture. Flying a kite. Doing something SPECIAL with the child - that the child enjoys and chooses.
Mom and Tracey5. PHYSICAL TOUCHING.
Judy, Tracey and me
Hugging, kissing, cuddling, stroking, patting, tickling, wrestling, holding hands, sitting on laps, piggy-back rides, dancing, cuddling watching TV. Walking arm-in-arm. etc.,
We should, however, not force kids to hug/kiss others when they show reluctance/ resistance to do so.
Jacqui, Glynis and Desiree
Reshaan
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