I started this site to help in any way I could with various information and resources for those who may one day need a place to go if only for a brief moment.
I am not a counselor and it is not my intent to criticize, condemn, or pass judgement.
I want to offer whatever solace possible for those of you who need it.
So, please feel free to come back often. If you have any suggestions, requests, poems, poetry or advice on ways to improve my site do not hesitate to let me know I would really enjoy hearing from you.
As many of you know Domestic Violence does not discriminate. It does not matter how old or young you are. Chances are if you are in a relationship you have or will be exposed to Domestic Violence. The first time it happen to me I was sixteen years old. I remember going to High School with black eyes, busted lips and getting strange looks from some of my teachers. But, no one bothered to ask and I definitely wasn't going to volunteer any information.
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Thinking back on it, I guess even then people closed their eyes to what was going on. For me this type of violence was a way of life, so it would be years before I questioned what was happening to me. I thought it was okay, that men had the right to do this to women. Things started to change for me after about two years of this treatment. Not saying that the abuse stopped at this point, because it didn't.
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This went on for about five or six years, then one day I woke up and had this deep urge to leave and I did. By this time I was one month short of my Twenty-second Birthday. We had not argued and there had been no fight earlier that day. I think he knew something was up because he started to follow me in his car and I remember trying to get away from him. I must say he taught me to drive very well, because I managed to get away from him and never went back.
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It has been Twenty plus years now. The sad part about this whole thing is he still holds it against me for leaving. My family [mainly my adult children] still have to put up with all the negative remarks made my their father even to this day about me. He can't seem to let go of the past, nor can he seem to move on.
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Even now I will not stay in the same room with him. I still fear for my life and continue to have flash backs every now and then of the beatings and having his 357 Magnum placed to my head. You see, he has not changed. He is still just as abusive [verbally] and has been abusive physically with others who have been in a relationship with him. It took a while to realize that it wasn't me. That I hadn't done anything wrong.
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The last time I was physically abused by him was the day I lost my baby girl, Nashara Leann Hayes. This happened after I had moved away and begun my life over with someone else. He thought it funny that I lost my baby, even now he laughts about it. I am however thankful to God that I was finally able to remove myself and my two surviving children away from the violence.
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It helps to write about it and maybe one day I will be able to live my life totally free from the fear of him.
I hope that something on this site can and will be of use to those of you who may be seeking help. I understand that it is a decision that only you the "abused" can make, it has to be that way as with most things. It has to be when we are open to it and ready for it. So... if and when you are ready, please know that you are not alone and help is available. Please take care and may God Bless and keep you strong.
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A Former Victim...now Survivor ~ Raye*
by...Raye*
The Purple Ribbon is in support of Domestic Violence Awareness...
The Black Ribbon is for the victims who did not make it...
The Green Ribbon is also for the Awareness of Domestic Violence...
------ Remember ------
October is Domestic Violence Awareness. Won't you please help end Domestic Violence...
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