Hallow

You really want to know me?.....

Have you ever felt,
the cold and lifeless hand of an infant,
gazed into their unblinking eyes,
and observed the face of death,
when masked in bittersweet innocence?

Have you ever touched your dreams,
and felt the simplistic joy,
of feeling them become reality,
only to abandon them,
for reasons you cannot explain?

Have you ever watched your family,
who once shared the greatest of loves,
suffer an unforgettable and unforgivable tragedy,
that will slowly, painfully, and inevitably,
tear them all apart?

Do you know, firsthand,
the evil that resides deep within the heart of every man,
every woman, and every child?
Have you seen its face as it randomly seeks,
a soul to torment and destroy?

Do you know the darker side of life,
the one that awakens you,
in the still of the night,
crying to the unknowable God's,
‘Save me from myself. '?

Does your heart constantly question,
whether humanity is obtainable,
in a world corrupted with suffering,
and where war,
is the favoured solution for peace?

If you really want to know me,
and understand the forces that compel me to move on,
then take these questions,
and take this pain,
for this who I am.

Black, that is all that I see,
because I close my eyes.
Pain, unlike any other, is all that I feel,
that is all that I want to feel.
He said that he loves me, if this is love then I wish,
with all of my heart for him to hate me.
He said that he lust for me,
how can a man like that lust for a child, like me.
He said he longs for me when we are apart,
why me? I didn't ask him to.
He comes and does his business to a little girl,
a little girl like me. I use to cry and wonder why.
I can't cry anymore, all that I do is wonder,
where does it stop, when does it end,
where does it stop, when does it end,
where does it stop, when does it end?

Circus Clown

I have no real purpose. I am just here for the circus.

Here to play the game but to twist the rules. No, I am not a fool. Can't you see i need a friend.

To lend a shoulder, to spare a moment, to listen to my cry, to hear and believ the truth at hand.

to see the depression, to find the deseption, to understand my pain behind the smile.

Virgins we were not...

Look into my eyes we become entwined as one. Virgins of the flesh we were not, but we had not been touched on our hearts or our souls. I touch your skin and I feel more than what you are, I also feel everything that you have within. When you caught my attention you captured my heart and my soul you have won. Forever and a day shall I love you, I know that you feel the same way. In this world of lies and deceit, I have found you, something pure and true. We are more than just a good thing, we are everything to each other. Everyday I picture us together forever, everyday I realize we are one day closer to fulfilling our dreams.

HER!

When you think of her do you feel alone?
Do you think of me when you are with her?
Do you wonder if you made the right decision,
leaving me for her?
All of those days we spent together,
those nights we spent holding each other.
Do you wonder if things would have been different,
I am not saying anything ever stays the same.
I really do not even want you any more,
even though I still love you,
I always will.
It is just we can not ignore what there was,
in OUR hearts in our minds.

Druken Driver

Last night I was a lonely innocent girl.
I just wanted to have a little fun,
flattered when another man asked me to dance,
to a song that will never mean the same to me,
kind of makes me feel not so proud to be an American.
It didn't really mean anything,
just someone being nice to a girl that was all alone.
After a nice dance and a kiss on the cheek,
we returned to the tables were we had sat before.
A little chatting, an offered beer,
and he lit my cigarettes.
Just little things, that ended up costing so much.
Innocently I offered a ride back home,
to keep a drunken driver off the rode.
In the hazy mist of a few seconds,
I lost what no man can replace,
the sactity of being just an innocent girl last night.
All I could feel was a strangers hands upon me,
smell the alcohol stained into his breath,
and the pounding of fleash into my body.
Last night there were unheard screams,
and it is funny that they came from across the street
of the local the Police department.
I flew home to be in the arms of one I loved,
I had longed to be there from the start of the night,
to make me feel warm, to make me feel safe,
to make me feel like an innocent little girl.

Pain

You can't feel my pain.
You can't understand my crimes.
How many times do i have to cry,
before I realize that the tears will not wash away,
my hate, rage, and my sorrow.
How could I have been so foolish to believe
that you would always be there?
You would have had to
obviously change!?
Nothing is left here for me except
your sincerist unsincerities.
I wanted to believe
that you and I
felt the same.
Nearly oh so nearly
did I love you.
I felt warm and comfortable
when you would touch me.
All that you were feeling was
tits, crotch and a cute little ass that you always said I had!

RAPE!

I hear the doorbell ring. I go and see a tender and familiar face. I welcome you in, we chat and have a little coffee. I get up to turn away as I suffer a painful blow, I fall to my knees, what are you doing, let me go! get off of me, I began to pray to god. You cover my mouth and scratch my skin. No!!! Stop it, STOP!!!! You rip off my shirt, pull off my pants, and cut my panties away, WHY?? Why do you do this to me? NO!!! Stop it, Stop!!! As my my soul fills with fear, my eyes begin to drowned in tears, my body becomes filled with you. DAMN IT STOP, PlEASE STOP!!! Your hurting me STOP!!! As I fight to try and stop you I fill a slight stinging pain. In my home so full of comfort I now feel homeless and unsafe. I feel your hands upon my body, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, GO, STOP IT, GO AWAY, I WILL NOT TELL ANY ONE I PROMISE!!!! Your hands are cold, cold as ice, colder than your eyes that stare through me, that show no compassion for what you are doing to me. YouR hands move from upon my thighs, around my waist, up on my torso, across my chest on to my breast. DON"T TOUCH ME THERE, LEAVE ME ALONE, LEAVE!!! As I scream you move your hands around my throat. My breathes are farther and farther apart. I still try to fight you, Your hands slash and I feel an even more intense stinging pain, my breathes are no longer coming. You get off and then you get up. I watch you as you dress and leave my room. I feel as if I have just died. Finally, this is over, and you are gone!! You spoke no words, what was the compulsion, was it you or was it I that drove you to this. What will I say to my self, will I tell my therapist? I thought you were a good friend, was that one of your sexual fantasies? Will my mom find out, what will I tell my family, my friends, my boyfriend?!?! I see blood on the floor, I must have been cut, but I feel no lacerations. Blood is all over me though, so I go to take a bath, I must be in shock!! My bath turns from warm to red, is it bad to lose this much blood? I get out and grab a towel to dry off. All alone I go back to my room where all of this began, with my towel that has turned red. I trip over a body that is lying on the floor. OH MY GOD, I am DEAD!! DO You Know what you did?!! Is that why you did not speak a word? Everyone I know is going to miss me, do you care?? Did you mean to take it this far?? I died, I drowned in a pool of blood, blood from my own body, blood that YOU made me bleed!!!! You have now been gone awhile. I would really like a warm cup of tea, but you have taken that from me. The phone has rung on and off, I don't think that I can answer it, even if I could I wouldn't answer it, the caller id says that it has been my mother, I wouldn't want to let her know that this happened to her only baby girl. My boyfriend came over but he couldn't open the door. I think he went to get you, since you are such a good friend he knew you would have a key to my house, in case there is ever an emergency. WHY WILL I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS, THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE, I NEVER HURT ANYBODY!!!! I sit staring down at the street below me, I see you walking with my friends to cafe at the end of the street where we first met. You know it is amazing how you seem so non-chalant?!?!?!