I
sat looking out at the group of second year nursing students before me, with a
smile on my face. They were the graduating class of 1982. I hoped they realized
what a bright and rewarding future their careers had in store for them. I
remember the day I graduated from my nursing course with such fondness. As I
accepted my diploma from my own dean, I couldn’t have wiped the smile off my
face had I had a clean cloth and a bottle of Windex in hand. I knew my chosen
profession would be rewarding, but had no idea how much.
I’d
been invited to talk with these kids about my experiences and my thoughts about
the career they had chosen. I had also taken it upon myself to include some of
the concerns I have for the future of nursing, but I won’t get into that right
now.
We
were winding down the day with a question and answer session and I’ll admit I
was enjoying this part immensely. These young people had well informed and
educated queries. But what shone through the most and warmed my heart the most
was their obvious enthusiasm. They were chomping at the bit to start their
lives, and I couldn’t blame them. They had so much to look forward to. They
were young and educated. So despite those concerns I promised I wouldn’t get
into right now, I’m convinced the state of nursing will be passed on into
capable hands.
I
had just answered a question about the direction the medical field was heading
and what changes would be brought about in the near future, when a young woman
stood before the microphone in the auditorium aisle and smiled up at me.
“Hi,
Ms. McCall. My name’s Judy Smith. I was just wondering if you’ve worked a shift
that sticks out in you’re mind as the most memorable? Either for it’s humor or
maybe it’s difficult nature.”
Though
the personal nature of the question took me by surprise, I didn’t have to think
long or hard for the answer. “Oh, yes. As you are all well aware, Rampart
General is one of the hospitals lucky enough to have paramedics assigned to it.
During the first few years of the paramedic program I became quite friendly
with many of the firemen performing the job. But two of them, I’m not
embarrassed to admit, were more special to me than any of the others.”
“Roy
DeSoto and John Gage were graduates of the first two paramedic classes
respectively. They had such a wonderful working relationship, not only with one
another, but with us at the hospital as well.”
“One
day I was working what was turning into a typical day in the emergency room. A
child bit by a dog, a man who had hammered his finger, a teenage overdose, that
sort of thing. But, the day quickly changed from ordinary to frightful with one
transmission from Squad 51. That was the station Roy and Johnny worked out of
at the time, Station 51. They’re both captains now.” I smiled at the thought.
“Roy
had transmitted he was on his way with some victims via air ambulance. A few
minutes later a terrifying call came from his partner, Johnny. He’d been bit by
a rattlesnake.”
“I’ll
never forget the feeling of my stomach dropping to the soles of my shoes.”
“Next
thing I remember was Johnny calling in his vital signs, I have no idea why, but
to this day I remember them, after all these years. His pulse was 95,
respiration’s were 18 and his BP was 120 over 65. I remember writing them on my
pad and watching as Kelly Brackett, he was head of Emergency Services, ordered
an IV with ringers lactate.”
“I’d
never felt so scared as a nurse, as I did on that day. Especially when Kel
asked for another set of vitals and Captain Stanley’s voice responded and not
Johnny’s. Stanley informed us our patient, that’s what he’d said, honest. That
made me nervous. It was like Hank was detaching himself from the personal
implications of this run. The knot in my stomach just kept getting tighter and
tighter and there was nothing I could do about it.”
“Back
to Johnny, Captain Stanley said the patient was experiencing numbness around
the mouth as well as being drowsy. Kel didn’t like this response. He explained
it sounded like some of the snake venom had gotten into Johnny’s vein, which
I’m sure I don’t have to explain to you how dangerous that is. He told me time
is of the essence now, we’d just been informed the crew's ETA was ten minutes.
I told him examination room three was all set up.”
“The
next thing I remember is waiting at the emergency room doors for the fire
engine. It seemed to take forever. I remember pacing for a bit, there was just
nothing I could do but think of my dear sweet friend and wondering how he was
doing. When I saw that big red fire engine pull into the parking lot my heart
actually skipped a beat. He was so close now and yet so far away. After all,
time was of the essence here. Mike Stoker, he was the engineer of crew 51; he
backed that massive machine into the ambulance bay like he’d done it a thousand
times before. I don’t know why, but I felt a special fondness for him at that
moment. It couldn’t have been easy for him, to drive that engine as if it were
an ambulance, with a close friend and colleague on top.”
“The
guys lowered Johnny down from the engine and that’s when I realized he was now
unconscious. He lay so still, I’ll admit I feared the worst. You’d understand
better if you knew Johnny. He’s usually so full of life, energetic, a ball of
fire so to speak. Chatters on endlessly. So, to see him lying there, so
lifeless…” I couldn’t finish my thought. I choked up and it embarrassed me
slightly. I’ve always been driven by emotions. Actually, I hope the future
nurses understand that sometimes it’s okay to become emotionally involved. It
reminds us that our patients are not just a stack of files. I do hope however,
that they never have to deal with a day like the one I was describing.
Although, if any of them end up at a hospital with paramedics, it’s bound to
happen, it’s inevitable, so I guess my hope is pointless.
“We
got Johnny into a the examination room, with one of his crewmates, Chet Kelly,
still hanging onto the IV bag. Kel did a quick examination and he administered
the anti-venom test. I remember him explaining the test to Chet ending with the
words, we’ll know in twenty minutes. That’s when I heard Roy repeating those
very words. Twenty minutes.”
“Up
until that point, I hate to admit, I’d forgotten about Roy. I turned to look at
him and saw the anguish on his face. I knew Roy well enough to know he was
feeling guilty because he hadn’t been present to assist Johnny at the time of
the bite. Knowing there wasn’t much more I could do for Johnny at that moment,
I turned my attention to Roy. He needed reassurance. We all did I guess. This
is a part of the job that won’t take long for you to develop. Most of your
patients are going to have at least one loved one waiting word on them, and
it’ll probably fall on your shoulders to give them their initial progress report.”
“I
suggested to Roy that we go outside for a minute. I shouldn’t have been
surprised when we walked out into the hallway and found the rest of the engine
crew, Hank Stanley, Marco Lopez, and Mike Stoker, all waiting out there.
Captain Stanley asked me how he was doing, I told him we’d know soon. I then
told them; maybe they should go get a coffee or something and was happy they
took me up on the suggestion. I wanted to talk to Roy alone. I told him that
Johnny had everything going for him. I told him he couldn’t have done anything
for Johnny that he hadn’t done for himself. Roy was just so lost. He couldn’t
respond. I suggested we go get a cup of coffee, too, and was pleased when he
followed along behind me.”
“Once
we got back from the cafeteria and were back in the examination room, we got
the news. Johnny was going to be okay. Chet Kelly was still in the room and
left to say he was going to go tell the rest of the guys the good news. I
turned to Roy and said I hadn’t realized Chet was so fond of Johnny. That’s
something else you’d understand better if you knew these guys. Chet and Johnny
were always going at one another. Usually they were involved in some sort of
prank war. Johnny was always complaining about something his nemesis had done
at the station. I realized that day that their relationship was the same as
siblings. They could needle and tease one another all they wanted, but once one
of them was in trouble, the other would be the first one to offer assistance.”
“As
I said, I’d turned to Roy and said, I didn’t realized how fond he was of
Johnny, and it was at that moment I truly knew Johnny was going to be okay. I
was rewarded with a Roy DeSoto smile as he replied, I don’t think Chet did
either. And he let out a small laugh. It was the best sound I’d heard in a long
time. To this day, when I receive good news, I can hear Roy’s laughter in my
head. It a nice sound.”
“I
hope I answered your question to your satisfaction. It’s a hard day or shift to
try and describe to people. Unless you’ve been through such an ordeal, you’ll
never quite appreciate how your patients loved ones feel, but it would be a
very good lesson to learn, with positive results hopefully.”
The
Dean wrapped up the question and answer session and thanked me for my time. I
said a final few words, wishing this group all the best in their endeavors and
mingled for about half an hour. When I finally managed to retrieve my coat, I
walked down the corridor listening to the excited chatter getting softer and
softer behind me. I spotted a telephone to the right of the doorway and fished
a dime out of my purse. I slipped it into the tiny slot and dialed the number I
was surprised I knew off the top of my head.
“Station
86, Fireman Jones speaking.”
“May
I speak to Captain Gage please.”
“Sure.”
I
couldn’t help but smile while I was waiting, hearing Mr. Jones holler at his
captain that some chick was on the phone for him.
“Hello,
Captain Gage here.” Hearing his voice made my smile widen.
“Hi,
Johnny.”
“Hey,
Dix! What’s up?”
“Nothing,
I was just thinking about you so I thought I’d give you a call.”
“Oh
yeah. That’s great. You at work?”
“No.
I was giving a speech at the nurses’ college. I should have brought you along,
Johnny. You would have loved telling tales to this group.” I could picture him
leaning against the wall cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder with a
crooked grin on his face.
“Next
time, Dix. We could bring a paramedics point of view to the discussion….”
I
knew there was a chance of us being cut off so I wasn’t too disappointed when I
heard the tones in the background.
“Gotta
go, Dix. Thanks for calling.”
And
with those words, the phone went dead. I replaced the receiver, walked out to
my car and drove home. I quickly set about making myself a cup of tea and pulled
out my photo albums. There’s something to be said about the human spirit. When
you can watch death and destruction practically everyday on the job, and yet
look so forward to a new set of graduates joining the medical field with you.
But for now, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to indulge myself. I smiled as
I looked at the pictures before me. It may seem weird that I’m feeling
nostalgic. I mean, I still work with all those same people. I guess I miss the
days of paramedics Gage and DeSoto. It’s not the same at the hospital without
them walking through the corridors. I miss the stories, the banter and the
compassion these two so readily shared with me over a leisurely cup of coffee.
Looking
at a picture from the second graduating paramedic class I laughed out loud.
Johnny was in that class. He looked so young. And there was Roy standing behind
him, next to Kel. It made me wonder if the paramedics had the same thoughts
about their professions future as I did. I imagine so. The sad part about theirs
however is the natural state of moving on and getting promoted. Johnny and Roy,
and many skilled men just like them, could no longer be active paramedics
because of some silly rule about ranks in the firefighter higher archy. I’ve
never understood it. Oh well, maybe one day they’ll change their rules and
Johnny and Roy will rejoin us at the hospital. Until then, I have my pictures
and memories.
The
end