Lies

"Oh, that thing? It's old. I found it under the seat when I cleaned out the truck."

This from a man I met on the internet who lived with me for 2 years, referring to a condom I found in the console of his truck, a couple of days after he returned from a 2-week trip back home. He went by bus and left the truck sitting in my driveway. I knew exactly what was and was not under the seats. There was no condom. The most interesting thing was a ladies' black half slip, Vanity Fair, size XL, cut to a length of about 12 inches. I already suspected him of fooling around with men, but couldn't prove it. It was hard to imagine because he was the biggest, baddest, most homophobic man on the planet. Well, you know what they say about the most homophobic men. Come to think of it, he was exceptionally well versed on what goes on in prisons and public parks and bathrooms. I never did ask him about the slip. Bet he looked cute in it, at 6'6" and 350 pounds. Or maybe it was for the other guy. After I found the condom in truck, I remembered a box of a dozen condoms that I'd had for years. I'd carried one around in my purse until it disintegrated, then kept the rest in my bathroom cabinet. When I checked the cabinet, the box was empty. Of course, he denied having taken them. That was when I knew I was going to have to throw him out.