"This sucks. What other games do you have?"
"This is it. I think my brother may have some games up in the attic that he left when he moved out."
"Oh yeah, he lives with that old guy, right? Daphne says he's like a God or something."
"Brian is a total babe. He's a sucker for me--I play him like a fiddle."
"You got any movies?"
"Just stupid PG stuff my mom buys."
"Well, want to go to Tower Records by the mall?"
"I know where we can go. Come on."
"Where?"
"You'll see."
Meanwhile, at the loft
"When are you coming back?"
"In an hour or so. Hey, I forgot my key, so can you leave the door unlocked?"
"No."
"Well, then you're gonna have to let me in."
"What else is new Forgets Alot?"
"Broke ass."
"Fat ass."
" I can remember lots of things. Like, any idea what next week is?"
"Oh, thanks for reminding me. My subscription to Twinks R Us is due."
"As charming as this little tete a tete is, I gotta get back to work. I'll bring us home something to eat."
"Whatever, tubby."
"Yeah, love you too."
Knock Knock. Bang Bang.
"I heard you the first five times you little brat!" Pulling the door backwards on its track Brian stands there, bewildered in his nakedness, in front of two bug-eyed little girls.
"Nice package."
"Molly?! Jesus!"
"Expecting someone?" she snickers and rolls her eyes at the eye roll sent to her.
As Brian turns around quickly and moves hurridly away from the door, hands covering said package, he silently curses and vows to kill his boyfriend.
"Nice ass."
"See, I told you."
"That him?"
"Yep. Mya, that's Brian. My other brother."
Calling from the bedroom as he hastily pulls on some jeans and a tshirt, "For the ten thousandth time, I'm not your brother Molly."
"Oh right. I keep forgetting. Mya, that's Brian, my brother-in-law."
Coming back into view, fully clothed and kerfluffled beyond belief. First Jennifer and now Molly. Least we're keeping it all in the family. Who's next? "What. The. FU...what the hell are you doing here Molly?"
"We were bored, so we cruised over here. Is Justin home?"
"Bored so you decided to come over here? This isn't show and tell! Who is this?"
"I'm Mya Chanders."
"Chanders? As in Daphne?"
"Wow, you're quick."
"You've got to be shitting me. Justin's little bratty sister and now Daphne's cousin?"
"It appears that way."
"Did Justin know you were coming over here?"
"Nope. It was a surprise. Surprised?"
"Oh, I'm surprised. And, your brother's gonna be surprised at the ass whooping he gets."
"Hey, little pitchers have big ears!"
"I'm going to kill Justin."
Whatever. You guys will just start making out the minute you see each other. Full on make out session. You should see them Mya. My god, it's gross."
"Seriously, what do you want?"
"God Brian! Quit being such a butthole. We were bored and I just thought we'd cruise by to say hello. Mom's not home, she's out with whatshisname for this week. Got anything to eat?"
Resigned to the present hell in his living room, "Help yourself."
"This is a nice place. Kinda sparse, but whatever."
"How exactly did you two get here? And, please don't tell me you hitchhiked."
"I wanted to but Molly said her mom would kill us if the person that picked us up didn't."
"Funny."
"Yeah, I crack myself up."
"Well?"
"We hung out at the corner store on Medina until some bikers came and offered us a ride, so it wasn't technically hitchhiking."
"Christ. Are you serious?"
"We rode the bus you tool."
Continually shown up by the two 13 year olds, "Is Daph really your cousin?"
"Yep. Why?"
"There's no resemblance at all. Daphne is a nice girl, never gives me the shit you're shoveling. Why am I just now meeting you, have they been hiding you in an attic or something?"
"I'm gonna go look around while you get over yourself."
"Hey, what? Stay right there. There's nothing for you to go looking around at."
From the kitchen,"No kidding."
"Molly said there's this huge picture of this guy. He's naked. Where's that at?"
"God, help me."
"Brian? Help myself to what? All you've got is some peanut butter,avocados and some stale-ass bread."
"Hey, watch your mouth."
"Why, it's only gonna keep talking. Dork, is that the best you've got?"
"Mya, I said stay here. You don't need to go rooting around in here. Nothing you'd find interesting, I promise."
"Oh, what are you gonna do?"
"Hey, I flushed my nephew's head down the toilet and I'm not above flushing your bereted and tartaned ass too. I'm crazy...you don't know what I'll do."
"Didn't Molly's dad like kick your ass? Twice, I think it was."
"Yeah, my dad's not too fond of Brian. But, he's an asshole, so I don't care."
"He sucker punched me and then rammed my Jeep. Turned tail the coward that he is...hardly call that kicking my ass."
Both girls giggling at Brian's perceived tough guy act, "Crazy? Crazy in love with my brother."
Pinching the bridge of his nose to quell the migraine quickly brimming, talking more to himself, "Where is your brother?"
"Yeah, where is he? I thought he only worked until 2 on Saturdays. He should be here by now."
"Yes, he should."
"Oh hey...while I'm here, do you want to buy some of this stuff that my school is selling?"
"No."
"Brian, come on. Look, there's wrapping paper, candle holders, Penn State Mugs and then there's the cookies and candy in the back."
"Molly, no offense, but do I look like I need that kind of kitschy shit?"
"Looks like you need something. This place is empty. Hey Mya, listen. Hello!?" and they both giggled while Molly's voice reverberated through the empty loft.
"Well, I'm into minimalism."
"More like nothingism. Brian, where is all your stuff?"
"We pared down."
"Mom said you were broke, but this isn't broke. This is just, uh, you don't have anything!"
"Again, heard you the first time."
"Do you need some money? I'm up to $20 a week from my mom. I could lend you some."
"Please, someone shoot me. Right now. Please."
"You're such a retard, who are you talking to? I knew you were old, but you may be too old if you're talking to yourself now. Does Justin know about this?"
"Ha ha. Please, go away."
"Hey Mya, want something to drink? They at least have some soda."
"I'm okay."
"So, where's Cousin Daphne today?"
"Out with some guy, I guess."
"Daph's got a man? What's his deal?"
"He goes to CM with her I think. He's okay, I guess. Not very bright if you ask me."
Calling from the kitchen area, standing with the door to the refrigerator wide open, "Brian, will you take us to the mall?"
"Should you be hanging out at the mall? What are you gonna do?"
"I don't know, shoplift? Hang at the foodcourt with the freaks and get pierced?"
"That's what I thought."
"Hello Clue Train, we're like, 13. Besides, that is so 1980s Brian."
"Whatever, anything to get you Lolitas outta here. Molly, call your mother and tell her first."
As Brian went into his bedroom to grab his jacket and shoes, the girls talked amongst themselves.
"See? He's a total babe isn't he?"
"I guess, if you say so."
"He's gorgeous. A little rude, but Justin says he's a real softie and he's always nice to me. He's just being a dick 'cause you're here. Me and Brian are like this."
"He's too skinny. Plus, he needs to fix his hair its sticking up everywhere...one too many cowlicks. I don't really care for white boys anyways."
"Then what was your tongue fest with Jerrod Mahan last week at Tiffany's party?"
"A phase?"
"Whatever. Brian's totally cool. He used to drive a Jeep but now he drives this kick ass Corvette."
"Let's go you two psychos."
As they all reached the door, it was promptly pulled back and Justin stood there, shocked...amused...speechless.
"Hey Justin."
"Hey Justin."
"Hey Justin."
"Uh, what's going on here? Molly what the hell are you... Mya? What are you guys doing here?"
"Don't look at me. Look to your soured bloodline. And, we're so having a conversation when I get back."
"Molly?" Nothing forthcoming.
"They apparently were bored and cruised over here to not be bored, Sunshine."
"Well, where are you going now?"
"Taking them to the godforsaken mall. I'll be back in a few...to kick your ass."
"Molly, did you call Mom?"
"I left a message."
"Hang on, you guys go on down, I want to talk to Molly."
"What?"
"Is everything alright?"
"Why wouldn't it be? I can't come visit my brother?"
"Of course you can, but you've never just showed up here on a Saturday bringing a friend."
"You know Mya!"
" I do, but Brian doesn't. By the way, What did Brian say? Did you terrorize him?"
"Not much. Maybe a little, but he was okay."
"Great. I'm so gonna pay. Well, don't do this again. Call me before you just show up, okay? I live here with Brian, but this is his house, our house. Okay Mol?"
"Fine. I'll call next time so he won't flash us at the door again. Later!"
"Oh Jesus."