Reclaiming


Brian got out of his Jeep and was coming into the building. He decided to take the stairs instead of the freight elevator. As he was coming up, he heard voices coming from the loft.

"Okay, well, you better go." That was Justin's voice.

"When can I see you again? I had a great time, you were amazing," said the unknown, male voice.

Brian stopped in his tracks, walked back down, very curious to see who the fuck was coming out of his loft, coming out of what was definitely a fuck fest with Justin. He turned to and walked back out the door of the building, actually trying to be quiet, so as not to alert them to his presence.

Who the fuck! What the fuck...why is Justin not at work...why is he `entertaining' a fucking trick in my house? Our house. Fuck that, my fucking house! These thoughts were running through Brian's mind.

The guy then walked out the door, Brian was leaning against his Jeep, wanting to get a front and center view of this guy. The guy, light brown hair, about 6 ft, dark complected. Probably Greek or something…was beautiful. Brian had actually recognized the guy from Babylon and Woody's. He had approached Brian on numerous occasions, but he thought him too young. He looked to be about 20.
When the pickings were slim, Brian had thought about fucking him in the backroom a couple of times, but thought better of it. The last thing Brian needed was another `latchkey kid'. One ‘hanger on’ was enough. Although they both new that Justin wasn't a `hanger on' or a `never leaver', they had a relationship now. At least some semblance of one.

The guy had a smile on his face. That `just been fucked' glow and didn't even notice Brian or refused to acknowledge, Brian couldn't tell.

Hm, well, guess I don't have to worry about that one now. Cross another one off the list. Brian thought as he started back in the building. It was funny, it seemed that alot of the guys that Justin had been fucking were either rejects of Brian's or were being recycled through Justin.

Up the stairs in the loft, Brian placed his keys and wallet on the counter and called out, "Justin, are you here?"

"Uh, yea. I’m getting in the shower." Justin was startled by hearing Brian. That was pretty close, I hope they didn't pass each other on the way up or outside, thinking to himself. Justin moved under the spray.

At least he is showering him off. I’m getting tired of smelling other guys on him. Sometimes he didn't even try to hide it, Brian thought to himself.

Brian started into the bedroom to take off his clothes and join Justin in the shower. It was one thing to fuck someone or get a blowjob at Babylon, but to actually bring someone to the loft…their
home…that was totally different. A quick glance to the bed, still made from this morning, at least he didn't fuck him in here. Even when Brian fucked the `zucchini man', he made sure to do it on the
couch. Brian wanted to see if Justin would mention that he just fucked someone, somewhere in the loft.

Let's see, if I was fucking someone here, but not on the bed, where oh where would I do it? With that, Brian began to walk around, stark naked, looking for clues.

The couch… nope. The floor, the rug…nope. He walked to the trash can and looked in. Well, there was a used condom there, sans wrapper. Back to the living room.  As he walked over to the
computer desk, his peripheral caught the chaise. It was about 3 feet from where it should be, slightly cocked to the side. He looked over to the chaise, remembrance of all the times fucking Justin on the Chaise flooded through. He fucked him in our chair.

A little twinge of jealousy. The chaise and the bed were off limits to the tricks Brian brought home, albeit, the rapidly dwindling number of tricks he was bringing home. He liked to reserve those two places for he and Justin. So much enjoyment had come from them, he didn't want to admit it. But he wouldn't fuck anyone else those two places.

Walking back to the bedroom, Brian was shaking it off, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible, which, for Brian Kinney, was unbelievably easy. That was the one trait, his seemingly uncaring attitude, fiery retorts, his utter lack of concern. That would not be worked on. That wasn't up for discussion.

Justin was standing under the spray, the water running off of him, as Brian leaned against the wall right inside the bathroom, watching. It reminded him of the `morning after'. Ready to kick this kid out, but just mesmerized by the sight of him, the nagging pull in his groin, readying him for another bout of ecstasy with his beautiful, youthful body. These thoughts, brought to present, as Brian is watching, Justin unaware, he brings his hand down to touch his cock. Hot to the touch. Just watching Justin shampoo his hair, lather his body, rubbing the cloth over his cock and buttocks, oblivious to his audience, turned Brian on.

Suddenly aware of Brian, "Do you like the show?" Justin coyly asked

Brian, trying to turn on the charm, "Why don't you bring yourself off. I want to watch you,"  shifting his stance, his cock growing harder by the second.

Justin just replies, smiling, "How about you come in here with me and I suck you off? You can watch me do that."

Opening the shower door, Brian stepped in, closing his arms around Justin. Arms reaching from behind him around his chest, Justin was pulled into Brian. Brian's cock pressed into Justin's back, fully erect and needing serious attention. All of a sudden, Justin broke out of the grasp, and turned around to face Brian. Getting on his knees, Justin asked, "So, you are home early, how was your day?"

"Fuck the chit chat. I want to fuck. Get back up here," Brian retorted. Then pulling Justin back up from his knees, he pushed him against the glass. One hand on Justin's hip, one hand pressing his
shoulder up against the glass, looking into his eyes, he leaned down and snaked his tongue up his neck, running it along his chin, coming to his lips.

"My day sucked, I work with idiots. I’m horny as hell and I want you," Brian breathed into Justin's ear.

Pushing his tongue into Justin's mouth, hoping that Justin brushed his teeth, not wanting to taste another man's tongue or cum in his mouth, Brian opened his eyes and watched Justin. Looking for
him to display some kind of sign. Not receiving one, tongues dueling, teeth nipping, Brian forcefully turned Justin around, facing the glass.

"Brian..." Justin stammered, "Let me just blow you. I don't know if I feel up to it or not."

"What? What do you mean you don't know if you feel up to it or not? Since when are you not UP?" Brian laughed, he thought Justin was kidding.  Not apropos. Sex was something Brian definitely didn't kid about.

"You can blow me after we fuck and shower. That is, if you feel up to it," Brian chuckled again, trying to gauge a response.

As Brian reached up for the lube, his hand that was holding Justin's hip, came down on his buttocks. Spreading his cheeks with one hand, Brian was just about to insert his finger, to stretch Justin out with the water providing the little lube he needed, before he fully greased up. As he stuck his finger in Justin... it slid in surprisingly easy...he didn't have to work it or slowly push it in. Justin was already ready for him.

As Brian pushed his finger into Justin, getting ready to put a second in, it dawned on him how relaxed Justin's hole was. No matter how much they fucked, Justin was always tight. Brian loved that about Justin. His body molded itself to Brian when they were together, but shrank back when they were apart. The tightness of his hole excited Brian even more whenever he entered him, like it was the first time. Every time. It was never that stretched unless Brian had just fucked him.

He closed his eyes, it was all coming to him. Justin hadn't fucked that guy…that guy had fucked Justin...

Holding Justin in place, Brian thought to himself, he told me that I no matter what, I was the only one who fucked him, that was saved for me. That was my only reassurance that he was mine, at least that is what I try to tell myself. Justin would top the random tricks, but that was my place, only I belonged there. He said he would never let anyone fuck him, but me.

Justin then squirmed under Brian's intrusion. "Brian, I said no. I don't feel like fucking right now. I’m tired. Gimme a couple of hours, then we will tonight," Justin said, voice slightly raised. Feeling very ashamed at this situation, not wanting him to know that someone else had taken his place for that short time.

"What the fuck is the matter with you? You never complain when I want to...and you never complain when I fuck you." Brian stood back, waiting for an explanation, knowing that Justin would try to lie to him, trying to cover.

"Look, I saw the guy coming out. I know you just fucked him before I got home. We’ll talk about that later. Like why you came home early to fuck someone. Like why you fucked him in the chaise. Like why.."

Justin cut Brian off. Not knowing that Brian knew. "So...you are mad because I had sex with someone? I thought we covered this already, are you jealous Brian?"

Brian decided to play along for a little longer, wanting to watch Justin dig himself deeper and be so indignant about it, "No, I’m not jealous Justin. I can fuck a hundred guys and still want to fuck you, but you obviously, are too good for me now. Now that you’re running the gamut of tricks at Babylon. I just didn't think you would bring anybody home and do it." He paused, bringing his head to his temple, feigning a headache, "If I wanted to have a meaningless, boring conversation right now, I can get out, get dressed and call Ted. I want to fuck you Justin... now are we or aren't we, going to fuck?"

Justin replied, "I told you I would blow you, but I don't feel like fucking right now. Sorry if you cannot comprehend that! Sorry if you cannot grasp that someone doesn't want what you want.  It’s about time you start considering other people and not just your own needs, Brian!"

Justin was grasping, trying to turn this around on Brian, knowing what he had done. Not wanting to hurt Brian. He was actually ashamed that he let that guy fuck him. He had told Brian that no one would have him that way. And now, he let his stupid pride and arrogance cloud his judgement and promise.

Tired of this game, Justin was obviously not going to admit his deed. "I know you let him fuck you Justin...I can feel you. Do you think I’m an idiot or something? Why did you do that?" Brian stood back, angrily waiting for an answer- an answer that would not matter.

Struggling, Justin just blurted out, "Brian, I...I don't know. I just wanted it. I wanted to be fucked, that guy was beautiful."

That last comment stung. Justin would say that ‘so and so’ was hot, ‘so and so’ was cute or alright, ‘so and so’ was fuckable...but never beautiful. Beautiful was reserved for Brian.

"Be careful what you wish for. You got it...feel better? Feel good, Justin? This is bullshit. I won't do this anymore. Why am I wasting my time on you? A fucking 19 year old! I’m leaving. Don't
be here when I get back," Brian spat back to him.

Brian pushed past Justin, threw the shower door open, grabbed a towel and walked to the bedroom. Justin followed, pleas of "Wait, Brian!” “I'm sorry”, and  “Don't leave", fell on deaf ears. Brian had to get out of there. He had already made a fool of himself he felt. Exactly why he didn't do relationships...they fail.

The fact that Justin had chosen to be with other men, just like Brian continued to do so, was the least of his worry. The fact that he was starting to let other men fuck him...well, that wasn't part of the arrangement; no matter what was actually said. It was how it was. Justin belonged to Brian... Brian was his lover. If Justin wanted to let other men fuck him, how was Brian going to compete with that?

Jeans pulled on, wife beater and over shirt on. He slid on some loafers and reached to grab his leather. Justin grabbed his arm, trying to pull him to him.

"Please... don't leave Brian. I love you."

"No you don't...you say you do, but you don't. I can't believe a word out of that mouth. I don't want to deal with this right now. Don't be here when I get back.  I can't even look at your face!" Brian huffed, and refused to look at Justin.

"Wait Brian. Pease!"

Brian jerked his arm back, "At least I never lied to you. I gave you what I was capable of... everything I had. You may not like or be satisfied with what you got, but I trusted you."

"You think you know everything Brian? That I should bow down because you trusted me? Is that some fucking honor here in gorious Pittsburgh? That I should be thankful you gave this a shot?
Well, fuck you! I cannot be everything to you, just as you are definitely not everything to me.You barely measure up!" Justin spat, so angry, unable to control what was coming out of his mouth;
knowing he would deeply regret it...and not meaning it.

Justin fell back on the bed, tears starting to form. He had really hurt Brian. Not just his pride as before, but he could tell by what Brian just admitted to him, his feelings were much deeper. Brian
measured up to everything Justin wanted. Though a few things here and there, were workable, Brian was a work in progress. He had proven that given time, Brian would give in to him. Brian would admit his love. But now, all the walls had come back up.

Driving to Woody's, he replayed the scene in his mind. ‘You barely measure up’, that had hurt. Brian had given all he could and that still wasn't enough. He tried to love Justin in his way...
bastardized at that…but he tried. He wondered how long Justin had been letting other guys fuck him. He trusted Justin at his word, had never given him any reason to doubt him.  Now, he’d lied.
An enormous lie at that.

"Give me a shot of Jack, a Jager and a Heineken... now." The drinks laid out before him, cigarette lit, he brought his hand to his temple.

The biggest fucking headache of my life...after all I’ve done for him. How I accomodated him... he’s run roughshod over my life... for nothing, he muttered to himself. Expelling the smoke, Brian took the Jager and downed it.

Vic warned me. Michael warned me. Everyone else, they stood firmly by Justin; money placed on the wrong horse! Yeah, well, at least I have my life back! No more bullshit...no more worries...no more Justin. Brian took the shot of Jack and downed it.

No more Justin. Thank God...everything can go back to normal...my normal. Fuck everyone else! Brian took the beer. Guzzling it, not putting it down until he finished. Reaching into his pocket for
his lighter again, he felt the bump he had in there... he had forgot about that one.

My lucky day!

Just then, Emmett and Ted walked into Woody's. Fuck, can it get worse? Looking towards the ceiling.

"Hello Brian. Mind if we join you?" Ted and Emmett sat next to him at the bar.

"Can someone help me here? Please God,"again looking upwards toward the ceiling.

"What? Emmett turned to Brian "Honey you’re gonna have to speak up."

"Uh, nothing. Save my place...I gotta go piss," and with that Brian got up and walked to the restroom to do the bump he so needed.

"What's with him?” Ted asked.

"Probably had another fight about Justin leaving his clothes all over the floor. Or there's always the "He is fucking me to death" one, which obviously isn't working. I’ll tell Justin to keep at it!" Emmett responded and they both laughed.

As Brian brought the bump to his nose, he leaned against the wall inside the stall. I wonder if any of them were better than me? Nope, that isn't possible. Brian quickly shook that off. Did he get
into it as much as he does with me?

Brian always loved that Justin was so into their fucking sessions. The admissions, the moans, the screaming. Hearing him scream, "Briiiiiannnnnnn..." Whose name was he going to be screaming now?

Who was going to wake him in the morning? Who was going to kiss him? Would he replace me quickly? Would he get over me?

Brian hadn't even bumped yet, just standing there with these thoughts going through his mind. Of all the tricks...the countless men, shit, he couldn't even remember 2 weeks ago. He knew there hadn't been that many lately. But there were some nonetheless. Why couldn't he see their faces? Why was the only face he saw Justin's?

"Hey you guys, is Brian here?" Justin had come in, looking for Brian. Seeing Ted and Emmett at the bar, relieved somewhat that he wouldn't have to face Brian alone.

"Yea sweetie, he went to the bathroom. He should be back any minute. How are you? Tell us, we have been discussing what caused Brian to be in such a funk. Did you leave your clothes lying around or have you been fucking him to death? My money is on the clothes," Emmett asked Justin, hugging him.

"Why, what did Brian say? How was he acting?" Justin asked.

"Like usual...a big dick," quipped Ted

"King dick with the King of all dicks, so I have heard..." Emmett replied.

"I’m going to go get him. I need to talk to him," Justin responded.

"Oh, okay honey," Emmett replied.

As Justin walked toward the bathroom, Emmett and Ted knocked their beers together, like they always did when the great drama was approaching.

"Gay As Blazes my ass...I would pay for the Brian and Justin show!" Ted said, raising and knocking his beer.

Justin came into the bathroom and shyly asked, "Brian, are you in here?"

What the fuck does he want? Brian heard Justin, and just did the bump quickly...if he was waiting for a reason, one just walked in the door.

"Brian I know you’re in here. I need to talk to you," Justin continued.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to see your fucking face Justin! It’s bad enough that you were there all the time. Everywhere I went…now you’ve gone back to stalking. How we seem to repeat
ourselves," Brian drawled out the last comment, throwing the stall door open, pausing before launching again.

"What the fuck do you want? Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone. Oh wait, are you cruising? Of course you are! Yeah, there are some guys out there that you haven't fucked yet. Coming in to survey, no doubt. I’m sure that there are plenty of guys who will fuck you. Although, I prefer you fucking them, just like you fucked me."

"That’s not how it is or was Brian. I am sorry. I said things I didn't mean. I love you... I need you," Justin replied, shaking.

Disgusted, Brian replied, "You don't need me...anymore. You need someone who will be taken in by your charms and your bullshit. Who will buy you what you want. Take you where you want to go. So, why don't you go find yourself a daddy. Hey, I can give Ted my blessing.  Wait, you and he probably already are intimately acquainted with each other. Figures."

Justin pleaded, "Don't do this. I promise, I’ll never do it again, if it means losing you. I didn't mean to hurt you Brian."

"Hurt me? Why would you think you would hurt me? I’m a selfish prick. Who fucks who he wants, when he wants, right? I mean, you can't lose what you never had. Right?" Brian spat in return.

Brian pushed past him and Justin cried out, "Please Brian! Just come back to the loft with me. Can we please talk about this?"

Stopping and turning around, "The only time you and I are going to be in the loft together is when I’m helping you throw all your shit out. And don't even think about taking the clothes and other things I bought for you. I’ll fucking burn it all before you take it."

Emmett and Ted had seen them in the hallway outside the men's room. It seemed to them to be serious...Brian didn’t look happy and he was pulling out of Justin's grasp.

"Good Lord! What’s going on? It looks bad Teddy," Emmett said, reaching for Ted's arm.

"What the hell has Brian done now? God, he must have really hurt him this time. Look at Justin!"
Emmett added, "Leave it to Brian, give him some rope. He hangs himself every time."

"Yeah, and he would even bitch about it being a new rope probably." Ted quipped back too quickly.

Justin was crying. "Don't fucking cry Justin.  Save it!  You want to fuck like a man...be fucked by other men... be a fucking man! Now that you are on your own, you should act accordingly. Hopefully if I have taught you anything, it’s to buck up and step up. You did this, own up to it," Brian yelled.

Brian walked out, leaving Ted and Emmett dumbstuck.  It was over...

Justin, head down, leaned against the doorway, looked up to see Brian walking out.  Brian turned to look at him, one last time. Their eyes met. Justin could see Brian, he was hurt. Brian could see Justin. He looked ashamed...he shook it off once again.

Brian thought about going to Babylon, but went back to the loft instead. He would drink some more, think some more and if he wanted, he would go online and pick a fuck for tonight.

As he poured himself a drink, he reached into the freezer to get some ice. Remnants of his presence were everywhere. If it wasn't his favorite ice cream, it was his favorite chips.  Hell, the "Joy Jelly", strawberry flavored…Justin's favorite, was cooling in the vegetable tray of the Sub Zero. He looked around the loft. The computer, that fucking computer he shelled out mad money for. The sketch pads, the extra canvas, the paints and pallet. Underwear, socks, shirts, jeans, cologne, hair care products, toothbrush...it was everywhere. He just wanted to be alone. To be away from Justin... but that was not possible.

He had told Justin that he thought that it would never be over with him or between them. And he meant that. That boy had a way of pulling Brian in, no matter what. Brian knew that this was the
worst part; he would have to resolve himself not be pulled back into Justin. He knew that Justin did love him, as much as anyone at 19 did. But, it’s just a fleeting moment in someone's life. He
thought about how hard he had resisted a relationship with Justin, only to be sucked in. Not willing to let Justin go completely, always keeping him at arms length. Until gradually, he grew to need
Justin and care for him as deeply as he could have. For anyone.

As he sat on the couch, his head getting cloudy from the 3 or 4 drinks he had had in the last 45 minutes since being home, he looked over to the chaise. Just yesterday they had been there...
just yesterday they had been one. He thought about Justin's eyes... the brightness in them, contrasted to his hazel eyes. His beautiful face, his milky white skin, his cock. He thought over the thousands, it would seem, of times they had fucked, been together, made love, he wasn't sure what it was. Now, he felt empty. He hated that he cared, he hated that he needed Justin, he went back and forth...the pros and cons- all the cons got crossed out by Justin's face.

He reached for the phone, dialed the number, "Get over here. Now." Click, hung up.

He didn't know why he called him. He just had to.

For what seemed like an eternity... was actually 10 minutes. He had probably been close by. That would explain it.

Sliding the loft door open and shutting it, coming in, his footsteps heavy, "Brian! If you want me to get my stuff now… I’ll get it tomorrow. When you’re at work," Justin started in telling Brian what he knew he wanted to hear.

"Well, come on in. Should have figured. Barged in my life, barge in my loft! What did I tell you about manners," Brian said, trying to sound as unconcerned as possible.

"You called. It didn't seem like a request...just another demand. So, like I said, I will get my stuff tomorrow," Justin replied.

"Justin. Sit," Brian replied, monotone.

Huffing, Justin said, "Look Brian, I know what I did, okay. I didn't come over here to listen to you bitch at me and tell me how fucking stupid I am. I just want to know what I can do to make it up to you. I love you...I’m sorry."

Looking at him, Brian replied, "Oh, you are going to listen to that and more. And you’re going to be honest for once.  What you say now...so we are perfectly clear...in case you forget for future references..."

"Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Are you going to give us another chance?" Justin smiled.

With a look of total nothingness, Brian replied, "I’m going to give you another chance Justin. One person fucked up here and for once, it isn't me.  Be sure to spread that one around. I sure am."

"Do you want to be with me?" Brian asked, getting ready with a barrage of questions for Justin.

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with other men?"

"Not if it means not having you..."

"Yes or No.  We are way past capitulations Justin."

"What do you mean? I thought we were going to go back to how it was...before today."

"No turning back. No going back. I’ve made a decision."

"Are you going to be with other men?" Justin shot back.

"This isn't about me...not right now. This is about you. Now, answer the question."

"Is it over if I am?"

"Like I said, answer the question. Be honest. That is all you can do."

"I want to be with you Brian. If I could have only you...that, is all I need. But, you’ve said that I’m not enough for you; that you will continue to be with other men. What’s the point?" Justin got up to leave.

"Where are you going? Who told you to leave?"

"For once, be human Brian. This isn't about me Brian. This is about you. About your fear of losing me to someone else. It has nothing to do with us. I’m playing the game. You started it, we made
up the rules. You can't change it when you feel you have been fouled."

Now for some admissions from Brian's side.

"I told you that when this started, I would continue to fuck other guys, but I would come home to you. I haven't changed. I made it clear that it was you, who meant something. Those other guys
don't mean a fucking thing to me. I fuck them...it brings me pleasure, remember? It brings them pleasure and it sure as fuck has brought you pleasure." Brian responded, drink in hand, looking at
Justin from the couch.

"Now, sit back down...please."

Justin sat back down, sighing heavily.

"Are you going to be with other men? I mean, are you going to let other men fuck you?"

"No."

"Why is that? I thought you liked it? Needed it. I mean, who can pass up something beautiful right? Justin, my problem is this...you’ve changed. I’ve stayed the same. It’s not like this, fucking relationship…is changing us together.  You are the one who is changing.  And I don't like it."

"What do you mean I'm changing? I haven't changed Brian."

"So, you think that tricking all the time, being an asshole, and bottoming out for anyone isn't changing?"

"Seems that it all hits a little too close to home to me. Of course, without the bottoming. Huh Brian?"

"I need you to stay innocent Justin. I need you to stay the way you were. Now you’re just as jaded as me. There isn’t enough room in Pittsburgh for two of us!"

"Do you love me Brian? I mean, do you? I know you say that you trusted me. Is there more? Do you love me?"

"I don't know what that is Justin, but if love can be called what I feel for you...then I guess I do. Are you happy now? Does that make you feel better?"

"I want what I can get from you Brian, I never made that a secret. I’ve taken what I’ve received and run as far as I could with it."

"Now we are at the dreaded crossroads, it seems..."

"No one compares with you Brian. I know that’s what you are most afraid of...that someone could be better than you. In bed. Better looking...at whatever it is, you pride yourself in. That's what scares you. Not that you love me and are afraid of losing me, but losing me to someone who gives me more and better than you could."

"I know that you deserve better than what I give, but I honestly have nothing more in here to give you." Brian noted that Justin did indeed know him too well. He didn't want to lose him...but didn't want to give too much of himself, he knew that someone somewhere could deal Justin a better hand.

"Okay, I accept that. I always have. Only, let's stop making it more than it is. Yes, that came outta my mouth. I’ll take what I can get and it will be nothing more than that."

"Come here," Brian said and held out his hand to Justin.

"Are you sure that you can look at me now, I mean, up close?" Justin kinda laughed to himself.

"I could look at you forever Justin and still not have enough of you."

Justin got up and walked to the couch…slowly, unsure of himself. He stood in front of Brian. Brian pulled him onto his lap. Justin laid his head against Brian's shoulder.

"I’m sorry Brian, I don't want to lose you.  You mean everything to me."

"Let's not say things that could complicate matters in the future. I know that you are 19 Justin. There is a whole world outside, but I want to enjoy you while I can. I know that soon enough, I will be betrayed by youth and lose the only thing I have."

"Brian, you are beautiful. But that’s not all you are. You have taught me so much about myself and life."

"Oh, so now it’s my fault..." Brian tried to laugh, but inside he knew it was.

"No, it’s not your fault. I’m trying to get on with it...but I’m struggling."

"It is my fault. I know that you’re doing this because of me...that is why it hurts me so much. I don't want to turn you into what you aren't. That’s why I told you to be you. Don't change for
anything. Don't fucking change for me.  But Justin, that’s so not who you are."

Brian's hand cupped the back of Justin's head, fingers running through the soft blond hair. His other hand reached up to turn his face to his. Eyes meeting, they stared at each other.

Brian leaned in to kiss Justin...sucking on his lips, wanting to taste what he thought was gone. Justin leaned into the kiss, letting Brian take control over him. The hand on Justin's head came down onto his shoulder, turning him into Brian's embrace. The kisses becoming more feverish and lips swelling. Tongues snaking in and out. Soft moans coming from both of them.

There was no rush this time, just a slow savoring of each other. Working up to a feverish pitch, but slow for now.

Justin leaned closer into Brian, taking his hand and running it up the front of his chest...through the shirt, moving to his shoulder, wanting to touch Brian's skin. Moving and kneading his hand slowly,
touching his chest and moving downward to the waist of Brian's jeans. His legs were across Brian's lap, feet on the arm of the couch. Brian leaned to the right, laying them both on the couch...Brian on top. As Justin was pinned under him, he reached his hand up to pull Brian tighter to him, deeply kissing him.

Brian moved his hand down Justin's shirt front, fingers quickly and expertly unbottoning and moving to the hot flesh. His need to feel Justin was growing. His hand running up and down, pulling on his shoulders, bringing him impossibly closer to him.

Justin was moaning into Brian's mouth... his cock beginning to swell and hurt being trapped under his pants and Brian's weight. "Brian, please," Justin moaned.

"Ah, Justin," Brian replied, his groin aching itself. Brian moved his hand down to Justin's crotch, unzipped his pants and caressed his cock. Moans freely coming from Justin- Brian whispers into
his ear, "I couldn't make it without you."

"You never have to worry about that Brian. I’m not going anywhere." Justin, hands still on Brian's chest, started rubbing over his nipples, tweaking them. This caused Brian to grunt and press down into Justin...his cock strained through his jeans.

Still caressing and pulling on Justin's cock, Brian pulls himself off Justin, gets on the floor in front of him, moving him to face him; roughly he starts to pull the pants off.

"These need to come off. Now! Help Me." Brian said, exasperated.

As Justin goes to stand up, Brian leans up, grabs him by his hips, pulls his body to him. His head resting just above his waist, looks up at Justin. Eyes heavy with lust and wanting to take him now.
What started so gently was going to end roughly.

"Take them off...now. I want to suck your cock." Brian said as he was helping Justin get rid of his pants. A few more rough yanks and they were off. No underwear. That turned Brian on even more. As Justin's cock stood at attention, Brian reached up with one hand and took the cock into his mouth, the other hand reaching around to his back, pulling him to him. As he took him into his mouth, sliding in and out, Justin just stood where he was, lolled his head back, eyes rolling into the back of his head, Brian was actually holding Justin up.

As his tongue glided over his cock, sucking, licking, pulling. Brian was panting and moaning. "Are you going to give me what I want? Are you going to come for me, Baby?" Doe eyes looking into the cloudy blue ones.

Justin loved it when Brian asked him for it. Brian loved it when Justin begged for it. To taste each other, that has been the greatest treat between them.

In anticipation of what was to come, Brian continued to talk to Justin. Pausing from sucking only so long to utter a few dirty words and affectionate banter. "Your cock is so beautiful, I love
sucking you. You taste so good...so hot...so creamy."

This was starting to drive Justin crazy and he felt the stinging in his spine, the tingling in his toes, the come rising from his balls to shoot down Brian's throat. He started to sway with this feeling.
Brian knew he was about to come.

"Come on, come on! Give it to me. I want it. Come for me Justin!" and with that, his knees buckled, hot come shooting into Brian's mouth. Grunts of pleasure coming from Brian as he continued to suck and swallow. Gently now, so as not to over stimulate Justin. Brian was holding Justin up with his one hand, gripping his hip, knowing that marks from his fingers would be visible. "Oh, good boy. So good," Brian said, as he licked his lips and then licked Justin clean.

"Brian, please fuck me. I need you to be inside me, I need to feel you," Justin whispered, tears in his eyes, wanting nothing more so badly in his life, than to have Brian inside him.

"Hang on, let me get a condom. Stay right here okay...don't move." Then as Brian got up, he held Justin to him, kissed him deeply. "Stay here...don't ever leave me." Then walked away to get the supplies.

Justin, stripping himself of his shirt, completely naked, waiting for Brian to return was almost afraid that he wouldn't.  He moved over to the chaise. He thought about earlier this afternoon. The Greek guy had wanted to fuck Justin on the bed..."No. Not the bed."

"Okay, then, how about the couch here?"

"Not there either".

"Picky, picky. Where can we do it then?" The trick asked, leaning into Justin to kiss him.

"Look, we are going to fuck. But you can't kiss me."

"Oh, you are one of those huh? Can fuck, but can't kiss. Whatever...just lean up against the counter then, I don't care. As long as I can get into that ass of yours quick!" the guy replied as he put a condom on.

"No, lets just go to this chaise but don't sit down. I’ll just brace myself against it."

"Whatever you want beautiful. Whatever you want," and with that, the guy bent Justin forward, and thrust into him.

Shaking himself back to reality, Justin felt ashamed. He wanted to feel something inside of him. He wanted Brian, but was trying to play the game. His stupid thrill today had almost cost him the
love of his life.

"I thought you wanted to do it on the couch?" Brian asked coming back into the room, noticing that Justin had moved to the chaise.

"I want to do it here. It is always so good here."

"He fucked you here...I don't want to be with you there. Come on."

"No. I just braced myself against the back. We didn't fuck on the chair. Even I couldn't do that," Justin softly replied, looking to Brian for reassurement.

Brian had tensed when he thought about someone else inside Justin, but Justin reached out his hand and pulled Brian to him. "Brian, its okay. I’m yours. I belong to you. I just got mixed up for
a little while, that's all. Please trust me."

"Come here," Brian beckoned him, leaned down to kiss those lips, still crimson from the last go round. "No matter where we fuck, as long as I know you're mine, I don't care." Staring into his
eyes, he continued, "Let's go to the bedroom. I want to have you all laid out for me...I want to worship you for a change," Brian smiled and pulled him in the direction of the bed.

Justin crawled on the bed and lay down, staring intently up at Brian with his tears coming freely now. He willed himself not to cry, tried to wipe away the tears without Brian noticing.

"Why are you crying? What’s wrong? I thought everything was going to be okay now?" Brian leaned down, hovering over his body- his hand holding Justin's cheek.

"I just love you so much and I almost lost you. I just want to please you and show you how much I love you and need you."

"Show me how much," he replied and leaned down and stuck his tongue through those luscious lips. Then with a quick nip at his lips with his tongue, he snaked it over again, to soothe them.

As Brian handed Justin the condom to put on him, he grabbed the lube. Pulling his legs up on his shoulders, he pulled Justin closer and moving his hand to his hole, the squirted the cold liquid
there. "It’ll heat up, don't worry...it will be on fucking fire, soon enough."

Justin smiled up at him and wrapped his arms around the back of Brian's neck.

Brian leaned back and then slowly begin to push into Justin. Stopping to make eye contact, unsaid words, but so much spoken at this very minute. Justin stroked the side of Brian's face, pushing
some stray hairs away. "No one compares Brian...no one."

With that, Brian pushed into Justin, hard. Goaded by the admission, believing every word Justin said. He doubted him before, but in his heart, the black tangled mess that it was, he felt it resonate.

"Oh Justin, you feel so good." He didn't know if Justin was tight, back to his normal self. He went in fast so he wouldn't have to think about it. As each thrust grew deeper, Justin pleaded with
Brian for more.

Justin rose up to meet Brian's kisses, Brian bearing down to kiss him.

They were pulling each other so tight to themselves, the same tug of war as before. Wanting to become one in their endeavor. Feeling so wonderful riding these waves of ecstasy. No one was better than Justin to him, not even close. His own velvet heaven. No one was better than Brian, like a machine, knowing exactly what he wanted, bringing him immense pleasure by which he thought he would die of.

The boys had joked that it would be Brian who would fuck until death...quite possible. But Justin felt like he was being fucked to death. It was more exciting and pleasurable with each pounding.

Screaming each other's names, riding it out, both ready to come, holding on. They came together. Hot come splashed Brian's stomach...a hot flush coming through Justin's ass, protected by the
condom, but the warm feeling enveloped him.

Brian leaned back and ran a hand down his belly, to get some of the come. He brought his hand to his lips and rubbed it over them He then opened his mouth and sucked it off his fingers.

"I didn't have anything to eat all day and I didn't get quite full up from you last time," Brian said, licking his lips, looking down at Justin, smiling.

"Well, wait a few minutes and I can cook another batch up for you baby," Justin replied and smiled back.

Moving backwards, out of Justin, Brian sat on his haunches, removing the condom. Rolling backward to get off the bed he moved to the trash can in the bathroom. Justin rolled over to his side, smiling
to himself, eyes closed.

Suddenly feeling something warm on his cheek, he opened his eyes to see Brian on his side of the bed, leaning half on the bed, half on the platform, washing the sweat and tears away.

"Sleepy huh? Quite a workout. Much better than the StairMaster. I should just cancel my membership to the gym and start scheduling appointments with you." Brian looked down, tongue inside his cheek.

"Yeah, you said you get your best workouts in bed. You weren't kidding," Justin said and pulled Brian's mouth to his. "Come back and lay with me...I miss you."

"Let me put this up. I’m coming back."

As Brian moved onto the bed, he pulled Justin to him, on top of him. As they lay there, still sweaty from the sex, Justin was slightly purring.

"So, a new chapter begins...let's rip out the last 3 or so. What do you say?" he spoke into Brian's shoulder.

"Fine with me. I didn't like them too much anyway."

Then Brian kissed Justin's cheek, brought his hands around his back, pulling him closer, knowing that he had reclaimed what he threw out earlier. He staked his claim before. Now he's had to reclaim it. He would deal with the fallout, if any, later.







Get The Balance Right, Part 4
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