Blockbuster Night



"Fuck, how goddamned crowded could it be in here?"

"It's Friday night. I told you we shoulda come earlier."

"Earlier would signal that we were total losers with no jobs or livelihoods."

"We don't or did you forget?"

"We've got livelihood or did you not feel my dick so far up your ass an hour ago you were screaming?"

"Whatever."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."



“Children of the Corn”, “Jeepers Creepers” or “28 Days Later”?

“Yes, maybe and fuck no.”

“What’s wrong with
28 Days Later?”

“It’s like a
Night of the Living Dead. Shiver, “It freaks me out with all those zombie people. Eating each other.”

“Huh, you never had a problem eating me.”

“You’re alive. Half the time at least.” Getting a smack in the gut, “There’s a difference. No frothing at the mouth and various body parts falling off at whim. Although there was that time that I thought your dick would actually fall off from overuse.”

Blushing remembering those nights, increasing in number so it seems, that Brian becomes a total suck pig bottom boy, “Okay, pick something else.”

Frustrated at being at Blockbuster’s on a Friday night with all the spare Pittsburghers. Meaning, losers with not a thing to do. Straight to boot, “Why are we doing this again?”

“I told you. For the Secret Santa gift exchange, I got 10 free rentals from Blockbuster as my present. Plus, Mom is giving me her 32” from the living room. And, I thought it would be nice for us to do…doesn’t really cost anything.”

You mean, us."

“Huh?”

“Giving us the TV.”

“Oh, now there’s an us when it involves a gift? What about the us that has to do laundry? Or, what about the us that’s supposed to help make the bed, or clean up the living room after us tears it apart fucking. Literally, fucking it up? Where’s the us then?”


“Uses are overrated.”

Ignoring the ridiculous stare beamed at him, Brian leaned down to sneak a kiss at the local Blockbuster that’s teaming with horny teenage boys and girls ready for a Friday night feel up. There’s the nerds in the Gaming section, pulling the
Uru Uru and Navy Seals copies off the shelves wildly, the middle-agers perusing the Drama section, looking for the next Ordinary People to make their lives seems blissful a little less fucked up then they might think it is, and the errant men and women so far away from relationships, so obviously single that one would imagine a sign around their neck reading I’m a loser... those that are just looking for something, anything, to take their mind off their loneliness.

Thinking the sneaked kiss will shut his other half up, Brian peruses the Horror section again thinking that that *us* conversation is closed.

Pulling a movie from the shelf, “Here.”

“Uh Uh. No fucking way!”

“What do you mean no fucking way? It’s
The Exorcist. “

“I know what it is and I ain’t watching that. Nope. Try again.”

“What’s a matter? Scared?”

“You could say that. I can take the blood and guts, the Michael Myers, Jasons and Pinheads…all that shit. But, I can not. Will not, watch that devil shit!”

Laughing aloud at his companion, Brian had to cover his mouth to stifle the grin brimming like a Cheshire.

“Is the wittle boy scared of the Devil?”

“My mother used to refer to you as the Devil. My father still does, so watch it.”

“Whatever. You said I get to pick a few of the 5 and this Horror Fest-slash- Fright Night was your idea. No reneges. You dig?”

“Yeah, okay Shaft. You are so retarded. Put it back.”

“No.”

“Brian! Come on. It’ll give me nightmares.”

This statement gave Brian pause. “Been a long time since you had one of those.”

Pointedly not taking the bait, “Everyday with you is a waking one. Now, come on put it back. Oh, there’s
The Omen. You should be familiar with that storyline.”

Willing to let his open question pass, Brian put
The Exorcist back. “Mikey would let me watch it.”

“Bullshit, I bet Mikey’s never seen the whole thing!”

“Actually, I think you’re right. He about pissed his pants from the music. Forget the projectile vomiting or the head turning. I remember chasing him through his house doing that music, mimicking Tubular Bells. What a fucking chicken he was.”

“Go get some Twizzlers. And, Kettle Corn.”

Staring back at Justin like he’d morphed into a girl before his very eyes, “Say again?”

“The Twizzlers and popcorn are up by the checkout. Go get some before they’re out.”

“I don’t eat Twizzlers.”

“I do.”

“That fat ass waiting to come out is gonna catch up someday. You’re gonna be huge and probably have acne. Then where will you be?”

“Still at home with your sorry ass? Go on.” Justin smiled at the incredulous look Brian offered, with no retort.

Trudging through the throngs of people, Brian rounded the corner by the Previously Viewed movies, pass the 2 liters of Pepsi and came upon the Good Humor display. Opening the freeze box, Brian pulled out a Drumstick and leaned against the box, keeping his eye on his boyfriend from afar.

A young woman passed by him, cruising him, or what would pass for female cruising in Blockbuster. “Looks good.”

“It is.” He replied, nibbling on the chocolate coated nuts.

“What movies did you get?”

“Nothing yet. My friend’s in charge, apparently.”

“Sharing the power, eh?”

Brian had to smile at the clueless bitch and played right along, “Like the good little man I am.”

“Brian? There you are. Did you get the Twizzlers? What are you eating?”

The woman stood aside as the blonde man came to stand next to Brian, swiping the Drumstick out of his hand. “Mmm. This is good. Are there any more?”

Brian watched the woman looking back and forth between the two men and then said, “Well, have a good night.”

Laughing, Brian snatched back the ice cream as tossed a “Later, “ over his shoulder.

“Who was that?”

“Some chick that wanted my dick.”

“They always want your dick, huh? Is she someone you know?”

“Nope. I know 3 chicks. And, two dykes. She’s not a chick I know.”

“Well, anyways. I got some more movies. 5 should hold us for the weekend, don’t you think?” If I don’t kill you first.

If I don’t kill you first. Pulling the movies from his grasp, Brian asked, “What’d you wind up getting?”

Alien, Children of the Corn? Seven? Good movie, Kevin Spacey is so gay. Okay, what else do we have here? Jeepers Creepers and The Exorcist? Thought you were too scared?”

"I'l be okay."

“Mm. Christ, I’m relegated to VHS. I haven’t watched VHS in 4 years, if you count watching that stupid Gay Paree tape of Mikey’s. What a total waste of an hour of my life.”

“I thought it was very good. Anyways,
Alien is so cool. It’s so scary, every time I watch it I get scared all over and the part with,”

“Please tell me that you’re not one of those people who say shit like, ‘Oh, here comes the good part!’ and spoils the movie? You’re not are you because I seriously think we should not see each other anymore if you are.”

“Shut up. Am not!”

“Good because I got enough of that crap from Mikey. I stopped going to the movies with him because of it.”

“Besides, you couldn’t stop seeing me if you’re dick depended on it. It’s like a drawn to my ass. Like a magnetic field.”

“You’re so not funny.”

“Am too and you know it. But, you wanted to watch it and since you’re being all nice and sweet, committing to this movie weekend in lieu of spending Christmas Day at Mom’s, I thought I could compromise a little too.”

“Really? God, how long is Christmas Break these days? Oh right. You’re not in school anymore. It’s always Christmas Break. Lucky shit.”

“That’s what uses are supposed to do, right?”

“What the hell are you asking me for? I’ve no fucking idea, thought you knew that?”

“Wait, let’s get some more Drumsticks.”

“Forget it, we’ll stop at the store around the corner. Get the proper movie snacks.”

“Proper? Since when do you do proper?”

“Well, I figure if you’re gonna be fat and pimply very soon and since I’m broke and devastatingly handsome and will be for all eternity, might I add, we may as well go all the way. Home-cooked popcorn and butter, Coke, not that Pepsi shit and Junior Mints, baby. That’s the way to go.”

"Daph said that she actually had to stop watching
Jeepers Creepers and watch it the next day, during daylight. What a girl!"

Leaning into Brian, Justin caressed Brian’s cheek and moved in line for the checkout.

"Weren't you just cackling not 15 minutes ago about The Exorcist and all the devil shit?"

Petulantly, "Yeah, but that's different."

As they walked out to the corvette, arm in arm, Brian asked, “What did you belly up for the Secret Santa gift whateverthefuck?”

“I wrapped up that hideous porcelain cat Debbie gave me when I moved out.”

“Poor sonofabitch. Deb will kick your ass if she finds out you gave that pussy away.”

“Well, we won’t tell her, will we? If she asks, I tell her Ian took it with.”

“Do you know who got it?”

“No idea. Don’t care either. It was spooky, the eyes like followed you around the room or something. Gave me the heebie geebies.”

“And the fact that this creepy movie marathon was your idea isn’t the least bit ironic to you? Besides, it wasn’t the cat that gave you the heebie geebies, it was how fucking grossly unkempt and greasy loverboy was. Gave me the heebie geebies too.”

“You’re right. But, now they’re both gone.” Snapping his fingers, “Poof! Just like that. Outta my life thank God.”

“Yeah, just like that. Poof.”

“Let’s go get fat and scared and then we can snuggle our fat asses into the mattress.”

While unlocking Justin’s door, Brian stole another kiss.
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