spending another Christmas and holidays "alone" this year... I've only had one year in which I was able to show a special someone how much I care... I was really hoping to be able to do that this year - I miss it so... I am happy, however, to be home and to be spending more time with family - something I regret having neglected for quite a while now... and I've had the chance to spend time with some friends I haven't seen for a bit... I just wish I had had the time this year to do something special for them... they really mean so much to me... and nothing I could give or say could show it the way that I mean it to... so, if any of you are reading this, please know that I love you more than you could know... someday I hope to be able to show you exactly how much... but for now, please don't take offense at my "loneliness"... I am not forgetting about you... there's just something missing - I'm sure you can understand...