frustration and loneliness continues to build... the loneliness that lingers even in the presence of others... I just take a look at the world today, how shallow people are as evidenced by what music they listen to, by how they "act" in front of others, by the lack of thought put into everything they do, and by their lack of thought altogether... it truly makes me feel sick and I have an overall hopeless feeling concerning it all... as most of you know or can at least see, I have a love for music... and taking a look at the billboard top 50 seriously makes me nauseous... how they listen to this re-processed or thoughtless garbage is beyond me... and appearance seems to be quite a major factor, to say the least... and I see no end in sight... it's just gotten worse and worse through the years... at the coffee shop, I've had the opportunity to listen to the oldies again... I had listened to 3WS for 3 years from grades 7-10 in high school... and most of the songs are so beautiful... I would definitely rather listen to oldies than to "alternative" today... not that I listen to the radio anymore - if there wasn't a cd player in my car, I wouldn't listen to anything at all... and that's all I have - good cds from the early to mid 90's - mostly not the popular stuff because that's not what was thoughtful and beautiful... it's really sad... that's not the only reason I'm frustrated and lonely - just an example... in every walk of life, it's the same way... and with no end in sight, what's next?... no wonder I'm still so shy and anti-social through all these years...