10/24/97...

with Halloween coming up in a few weeks, it got me to thinking... to me, every day seems like Halloween... it seems more and more to me that people are not being themselves and wearing 'masks' 24/7/52/365... for this reason, I don't understand why Halloween is such a big deal, other than for those people to actually show physically what they're doing mentally all the time... I admit to not being myself all the time... I can't help it sometimes... but I try my best to be totally myself... others don't even seem to try... I thought that it might have been a high school thing, but it doesn't seem to be since I'm seeing it everywhere I go at college... it makes me feel awkward, not letting me show who I am since nobody else seems to be doing so... but nobody'll admit to wearing 'masks'... this is the worst... why can't people just be themselves?... in the end, that's what it'll all come down to... I can't even tell if I know a person or not anymore... constantly, I'm being surprised (or not so surprised...) at finding out people are a lot different from who I thought they were 'cause they hide it or don't tell the truth... that's all I ask for... life's too short and complicated to be trying to find out who a person is... nothing anybody could say would offend or make me think any less of them, yet it still occurs... I think a lot of people wouldn't hold anything against other people if everybody was a little bit more open... I know, we must all hide some things and keep some things totally personal... but it's the big things that are bound to come up later that should not be hidden in the first place... my view is that past events should not be hidden, 'cause anything about anybody's past can be found out in some way, if not straight from the person's mouth... future events can be hidden without much problem... I know it's tough to bring up shocking past events and that you should be careful who you tell such things to, but with your best judgement, be sure not to hide things from someone who may be in your life for a while, 'cause it'll only hurt them in the end if they find you didn't tell them something important from the beginning... anyways, I just wish people wouldn't hide behind their 'masks'... it's inevitable, but one of my pet peeves... so to me, every day seems like Halloween...