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CORRECTING THE
BALANCE OF POWER IN OUR FAMILIES
My son Donovan
Dear Governor Pataki:
Because of a reputation my son, Donovan, was able
to build from the ages of 16 to 18 (not only by poor choices, but also because
of the loosely-written laws which allow it), he is now serving time in prison.
One of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life was hand my son over
to the authorities knowing where he was going, knowing that nobody was going to
care for or about him. He is just another statistic. I would have done anything
to keep my son at home and safe. I truly believe by empowering me as a parent by
giving me legitimate authority until adulthood, and by dis-empowering my child
who was not yet ready to appropriately use the rights given him by law at 16, we
could have avoided all this. Before Donovan was ready to handle the
responsibility of an adult, NYS law prematurely took away my parental rights. He
then continually used poor judgment and followed the same scenario over and
over, as the way many of our 16- to 17-year-old children do today.
The scenario when the law prematurely allows a
child to quit school and leave parental guidance.
Hanging out with bad influences
Abusing drugs and alcohol
Hanging out on the streets at all hours of the day and night
Becoming depressed
Getting into trouble with the law
Leaving home
Quitting school
Getting into deeper trouble with the law, incarceration or becoming pregnant
Becoming suicidal
I write this testimony about the importance of
correcting the balance of power in our families. We are asking you to sign bill
S674b into law, which will allow two more years for our children to mature so
they can become productive members of society. The additional two years would
allow our children more time to learn the needed skills to handle the rights and
responsibilities of adulthood, appropriately with the proper guidance.
For parents the law now quietly takes away our
rights and puts them in the hands of our young people who are not ready to
handle them. Yet, with the loss of our parental rights we are still held
responsible until age 21.
Sixteen is much too young for our children to be
raising themselves without parental guidance. Our kids do not see the
consequences or dangers when making bad decisions at this age. They are more
concerned with their freedom and fun while making destructive decisions that
will forever change their lives.
This is more than an issue of money and funding
the resources. To parents this is an issue of saving and protecting our young
people and their futures. There will always be kids that will self-destruct no
matter what intervention is provided; however, the vast majority of kids who
leave home at 16 do so because they know parents are powerless to intervene by
law. We believe if the law allowed parents the right to intervene up to age 18,
most of these kids would not wind up in our criminal courts and ultimately
incarcerated, or pregnant and on welfare, or addicted to the variety of
substances available for abuse. This change could benefit our children
enormously, not to mention the benefit to society and the savings to the state.
Now is the time to stop hurting our children and to give back our rights as parents.
Tina
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