| Cyborg (1989) Cast:Jean-Claude Van Damme,Deborah Richter,Dayle Haddon,Vincent Klyn,Rolf Mueller Van Damme stars as a soldier of the future who beats up mutant thugs and tries to rescue a cyborg who holds the cure for a dreaded plauge in this perfectly dreadful movie. Even for a Mad Max rip off , Cyborg is a bad movie by the (very) low standards of the genre. For example the movie showcases Jean-Claude Van Damme crucified on the cross, in which he kicks himself off (It's supposed to make him a christ-like figure and it has to be seen to be believed) but it has no real form. You could take the beginning of the film where the pirates wipe out a village and put it somewhere else and it wouldn't make a difference, indeed all of the action sequences seem shoehorned at regular times to make sure we aren't bored with the story. This can be seen only as a good thing since the story is very uninteresting and simplistic. On the other hand the movie tries to rip off the slightly overrated Escape From New York having Jean-Claude get the cure for a plauge to Atlanta (!) before time runs out. Its all very lame and very poorly made, although Pyun does try to establish a few stylish touches, the soundtrack alone indicated a drunken ambition that only a demented genius of Bad Movie cinema could take to. A couple questions raised, How did the plauge start? How did the world get this way? Why did Fender kill Van Damme's family? Why did this get made? All possible conclusions remain open. This will work for camp fans, there is a lot to laugh at however it is well made enough to earn higher than guttenberg and too goofy and stupid to work as an actioner. Cyborg also marks as Van Damme's worst movie until Knock Off and Universal Soldier:The Return came out. . D.Albert Pyun * |