| Conan The Destroyer (1984) Cast:Arnold Schwarzenegger,Grace Jones,Tracey Walter,Mako,Olivia D'Abo Pointless sequel has Arnold fighting wizards,gods and evil queens all the while trying to find the sacred horn which will bring a god back to life, in which a virgin princess needs to be sacrificed suffice to say the mission fails in this very silly movie which is far too moronic to enjoy on even a visual level. The problem with this sequel is the idiotic approach taken with the material. I must admit that i'm no fan of the sword and sorcery genre and although there are a few good examples (The Beastmaster, Sword and the Sorcerer and Conan The Barbarian) there is at least a hundred more that are just plain awful. It's hard to explain how dull this movie is. At one hundred and nine minutes the movie runs ten minutes shorter than # 1 but feels two in a half hours longer, the pacing is so off and filled with shoe-horned fight sequences that it's impossible to maintain much interest throughout. The climax is utterly laughable with a creature so blatantly embarrassing that one can't believe the special effects were from the same guys from E.T. Indeed this is a prime example of why this is such a crummy genre, it's simplistic plot and moronic characters exist to only fight and gain vengeance. While this can work when it's done with some conviction or at least a twist (Such as The Beastmaster) they don't work when we see juvenile plot threads combined to bore anybody over ten years old.D.Richard Fliescher * |