| Bulletproof Monk (2003) Cast:Chow Yun-Fat, Sean William Scott, Jaime King, Mako Chow Yun-Fat stars as a warrior monk who has been protecting some secret amulet (Or something) from nazies, however he looks to pass on his job to the next generation in this absymial production which stands as the worst movie CYF movie to date. What is most shocking about Bulletproof Monk is that it somehow manages to be worse than The Replacement Killers, not to mention twice as tedious. Bulletprook Monk was a movie that I was actually looking forward to during it's theatrical release, it seriously looked like it would be something impressive. Sadly it wasn't. First off the script is so badly written and poorly developed that nothing of any depth emerges. Oh, sure Road House and Stone Cold are shallow movies but they had much more texture to the actionscenes. Here Bulletproof Monk fails too. All of the fightscenes are so poorly edited and downright ineptly staged that no energy ever builds into what the audience looks for in a film. Also worst of all is the absoluately absurd plot that tries to pass off Scott as a martial artist, his explanation for being able to fight, he watched kung fu movies. So I guess that means I myself can go around and waste millions of thugs, because I watched all of Bruce Lee and Bruce Li's movies. Ugh. What is even more silly is that Chow Yun-Fat is forced to spit out utterly daft fortune cookie banter like "If you truly believe gravity doesn't exist, then it doesn't." Well great, I'll remember that the next time I run my head through the television set. Then again though, if I truly believe this movie doesn't exist, it doesn't. I like that logic. D.Paul Hunter* |