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Why I hate the
"man"
I hate the man. The man is ALWAYS trying to keep me down. Who
is the man? Well... lets run through a list of candidates.
1. You. Yeah, If you're reading this right now, You could be
the "man".
2. The Government. Dubya may be the man. After all, he is
always trying to keep me down. Lets branch off for a second,
and analyze this portion of the "man".
2A.The ATF. What if I wanna Drink me a beer, smoke me a cigar,
and shoot shit with a fully automatic pistol? Shouldn't I be
allowed to? It's going to be my leg that gets blown off, not
yours.
2B.The FBI. Fuck you FBI, You dress cooler than me, You drive
a better car than me, and you make more money than me. You get
to solve sophisticated cases that county yokel police can't
solve. You get to sound like you know what you're doing a lot.
FBI Agent Michael Smith: Well, see, what we have here is an
unfabricated case of delusional misconduct by juveniles of misdemeanor
proportions. I suggest we infiltrate the domicile and
confiscate all the paraphernalia and obsfucate the
antagonists"
Yokel Officer Merle Rogers: Well Gawl lee, you sure do know
you some fancy words. You gotta know what you talkin bout ifn'
you usein big words like that there.
FBI Agent Michael Smith:Of course I do. Now scurry along and
go play Simon with your inbred relatives.
2C. The CIA. They know more about me than I know about myself.
I bet they know how many times I shat last month, along with
the length and hue of brown each time presented. Thats
confidential knowledge! I dont want the nefarious Poo bandits
knowing my shatting patterns.
2D. The Republicans. They dont like me. I'm sure of it.
Because I'm not so rich that I wipe my ass with $100 bills and
take Golden Dublooms down to the railroad I just happen to own
and watch the trains named after my family run over them.
2E. The Democrats. Democatic party. Demo-Cracy. Demo-CRAZY.
It's a lie. I didn't vote for you, so It's not a democracy, I
didnt choose your smelly ass. Ralph Nader in 2004!!!
3. El Quaker - The gigantic douche bag NEVER adds my shit to
the site. He's holding me down. He's supressing my genius from
my loyal fans(i have 6 now, including me and my right hand.),
and That just isnt right. My Genius is to be known sayeth
Magical Johnson!. BOYCOTT EL QUAKER BRAND FEMININE HYGIENE
PRODUCTS!
-Magical
Johnson "They Don't Call It Magical For
Nothing"
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