Cordelia, Buffy, Wesley, Gunn and Fred looked on in horror.
“Please tell me this isn’t happening!” Cordelia cried out. Her palms were sweating and her heart was pounding within her chest.
“Oh it’s happened. Can I just say how thrilled I am to be back?!” the soulless vampire grinned though he was heavily restrained in the Hyperion lobby. He wore the face of an Angel but everyone in that room and those who had ever encountered him knew otherwise.
“He said he needed my help!” Buffy tried unsuccessfully to explain.
“So you boned him?!? Really Buffy, couldn’t you show some restraint? For God’s sake, you’re the slayer! Aren’t you supposed to know better than this?!” Cordelia wondered while pacing the floor in exasperation.
Crossing her arms in defense, Buffy said, “I didn’t BONE him Cordelia!”
“Sure you didn’t! Then explain to me how he got all happy in the pants? On second thought…spare me the details!! How do we get rid of him?” Cordelia asked while rolling her eyes in the direction of Angelus.
“Hey! I’m standing right here! Geez, I can feel the love. Is it too much for a guy to expect hugs and kisses after being on hiatus?” Angelus pondered with an attempt to look disheartened.
No one was fooled.
Cordelia turned to him and informed, “One, you’re not a guy. Two, there will be NO love felt in this room. We all know where that leads. Finally, three, hugs and kisses for an evil, soulless, blood-sucking vampire are definitely NOT on the itinerary. Got that?”
“Feisty…I like it.” Angelus observed with an approving growl.
“Oh please, you’re just excited because you’re finally around someone with a pulse!” Cordelia grunted and added on a well deserved PFFT!
“Oh Cordy, you don’t know just how excited I am.” he mentioned gruffly while slowly dragging his eyes down her body.
“Eww! Gross much?!?” Cordelia disgustedly commented with a contrite scowl.
“Do you two need to get a room?” Gunn asked with impatience.
“NO!” “Yes!” Both Cordy and Angelus cried out.
“I think what we need to do is ask Willow to come and perform the spell to restore Angel’s soul.” Wesley suggested calmly, trying to focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy slowly spoke up, “Umm…Well, here’s the thing…Willow, she doesn’t do the magic thing anymore…it was a thing.”
Wesley quirked an eye brow, “What kind of thing?”.
“It was an ‘end of the world and kill people’ type of thing. Hence, magic-free Willow.” Buffy explained in the most basic way.
“Yes, I see how that could pose a problem. Right then, we’ll have to perform the spell. Fred, you stay here and translate it. Buffy, you find a Shaman or a Wicca who’s strong enough to perform the spell. Take Gunn with you, some of these mystic types carry muscle. I’ll hit the occult shops for an Orb of Thessulah. Right, let’s get to it.” Wesley directed.
However, before everyone could get on to their tasks, an annoyed Cordelia asked, “Ahem! Excuse me, did we forget about me? What am I supposed to do? Knit a sweater?”
Wesley looked at Cordy then shifted his gaze over towards Angelus.
“Oh, NO! Don’t you even say it Wesley! I am not staying here with this horny toad of a vamp. In fact, I’m putting my foot down!” Cordelia said firmly. She wasn’t going to stand guard over Angelus, who seemed to be eyeing her like some sort of chew toy!
“Am I invisible?!? I can hear what you’re saying! Believe me; it only makes me narrow down the options of who I’m coming after first.” Angelus grunted at Cordelia only to have her Pfft at him again and turn her back to him.
Suddenly, Buffy turned around, “Cordelia, for once could you think of someone else other than you? Not everything revolves around Cordelia Chase!”
Cordelia’s jaw dropped, “ME?!? Were you thinking of anyone else while you were banging out Angel’s soul?!?”
Buffy moved in closer, “I did not BANG Angel. Ask him…” she said then pointed to Angelus.
“Oh yah, like I’m going to trust anything he says! Who do I look like?!? You?” Cordelia countered.
“You know what; I don’t have time for this! You’re staying here.” Buffy stated before she and Gunn made their way to the door.
But not before Cordelia called out with a warning, “Be careful Gunn, we don’t want her banging the soul out of you too!”
Wesley, Fred and even Angelus gaped at Cordy until she justified herself with, “What?!? It’s not my fault she has that effect on men!”.
