Steve Kowalski was in a blue funk. Even the opportunity to go to a Sunday afternoon game at County Stadium did not relieve his depression. Red Wolfman's invitation to join three of his buddies on a trip to Chicago to check out Maxwell Street sounded flat and tedious. Nothing ignited even a spark of interest. The harder he tried to shake his cheerless disposition, the more he felt that nothing was fun anymore. God, he hated feeling this way, but he would hate himself even more if he joined his buddies and was a total pain in the butt all day. Which is why he allowed himself to be wedged against the back seat passenger window of the family car with three siblings fighting for personal space next to him. He might spoil a good time if he went with his friends but he did not want to hang around the house all day. His friends would not understand his mood, but his family was use to him.
His parents had looked at him curiously when he announced he would be going with them to Aunt Mary's, but didn't question his decision. Steve guessed they were just glad to have him tag along since he usually went his own way whenever they visited relatives. He was the oldest of four children with a brother five years his junior and two sisters younger than both of them. At seventeen he had other things to do. Beside this was nineteen fifty-five, it was a different world than when his parents grew up. Any way Eddie said he would wait up for him. His cousin had a talent for finding things do and making them sound like an adventure. Even though Eddie was two years younger than Steve, the two of them got alone pretty good. They spent last summer together at their Uncles in Golden Colorado. His Uncle owned a tourist stop, the Larret Inn at the top of Look Out Mountain. He shook his head. What a wild summer that was!
When the Plymouth finally pulled into his Aunts driveway, Eddy was waiting for him. The adults all went inside and Eddy motioned Steve around to the back yard. "Your gonna love this Steve," he said. "Saint. Matthias has their picnic today."
Steve frowned. "So?" He knew Eddy well enough to expect more.
"So, how would you like to drink some beer and pick up some hot chicks." Steve started to answer, but realized Eddie had not finished his proposal as he continued in his machine gun style never stopping to take a breath. "They have all these beer tents, man, and no one ever checks for ids and Greenfield is eighteen you know, and you can pass easy, like last year - hell you were only sixteen when we were in Colorado and remember all the Coors we drank and those chicks up at Buffalo Bills grave- and the chicks here I mean I guarantee we get laid."
Steve shrugged. What the hell, it was hot today and a couple of cold ones would hit the spot. The getting laid part was Eddy's fantasy, but it was something to do and Eddy did know a lot of girls. They told their parents they were off to a church picnic and wouldn't be home for supper. Steve's Mother made him understand that when they were ready to leave they would leave and he would have to take a bus all the way across town, "Three transfers", she reminded him.
The sight of the red and white beer tent was a welcome oasis after the two-mile hike to the picnic grounds. Eddy was right about the lose security. The procedure was to buy as many twenty five cent red tickets as you thought you might need and spend them on beer, soda, food, or rides. Steve peeled off two of his tickets and carried two plastic mugs with Pabst Blue Ribbon written across the front to the picnic table they had commandeered. He handed one to Eddy, lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly as he touched Eddy's cup gently with his own. "Na zdrowie," he said mimicking his Polish relatives.
"Prost," came Eddy's automatic reply.
"Well, where are all these chicks?" Steve asked trying to sound interested.
Eddy laughed his glance taking in the surrounding area. "All around us, cousin, all around us"
Steve smiled weakly. "Right." He said. He really didn't care and he could tell Eddy could read his mood.
"I know what we need to cheer you up." Said Eddy. "We need another Holly!"
Steve was quiet for a moment. He looked at Eddy and grinned in spite of himself. "What made you think of her?"
"I don't know. The last time we had a beer together we were up on Look Out, and Holly was hot after your ass. Didn't you tell me she wanted to meet you when you were twenty one."
Steve's mind captured a snap shot from the past. Holly was an older woman of nineteen. She was in college in Denver and the Larret Inn was the college weekend hangout. She came with a fraternity group and had no particular boy friend. Her college friends thought he and Eddy were cute and the two of them would sit in their booth and dance with the girls to the juke box music. The guys kept slipping them glasses of beer making sure Uncle Frank was non the wiser. Holly kept flirting with Steve. At one point she told Steve she was feeling dizzy and asked him to walk her outside. Before he knew what was happening they were standing in pitch-blackness under a pine tree trying to swallow each other. He had never French kissed before, but Holly taught him to become an expert that night. They didn't have sex; Steve wasn't sure he would have known how to go about it anyway.
The last time he saw her was the night of the big brawl. He never did understand how it started but one of the couples claimed some bikers made a move on their girls, and all hell broke lose. Glass was flying and teeth were cracking after coming in contact with bare knuckles. The front exit was jammed and dangerous. Some of the others began crawling out of a back window that exited to a six-foot drop. Holly was pretty drunk and pulled Steve to the window. Steve jumped first and caught her as she came behind him. They rolled a little and Holly ended up on top of him kissing him passionately. One of her girl friends pulled her off.
"Christ, Holly come on. The cops are coming."
Holly grabbed Steve's hand as he was getting up. "Come on," she mimicked, " the cops are coming." Steve found himself holding her hand and running with her to a waiting car. She got in and began to pull him in. The driver was shouting to close the door and began to gun his engine.
"Come on, we gotta go" she slurred looking at Steve with bloodshot eyes. He finally pulled his hand fee.
"I live here. " he said and shut the door. The car peeled out kicking up stones. Holly was kneeling on the back seat waving at him. The next day Steve and Eddy scrubbed dried blood off the floor and the outside pop cooler. His Uncle had not been there, as he was picking up his daughter and son-in-law in Denver. They learned later that the panic started when the phone was ripped out of Cousin Sherry's hands after she called the sheriff. She panicked and started waving the gun that Uncle Frank kept under the counter. The gun was loaded but she had enough sense not to fire it, but the sight of that pistol made instant allies out of all involved and they fled as one united family to their cars.
Steve frowned at Eddy as the memories of Holly flashed in his mind. "Holly is a drunk, Eddy. There won't be any meeting four years from now."
" I guess. But you got in her pants right?"
Steve decided to ignore the question, and then couldn't resist. "No, they didn't fit," he said. He looked at his beer and decided he was still thirsty. He grabbed Eddy's empty cup and headed for the beer tent.
Two girls were sitting at the table with Eddy. A Red head was sitting next to him and a Brunet sat across from them with her back to Steve. Eddy saw him coming.
"And here he is now," he announced. The Red head raised her hand in a wave and the Brunet turned around.
"What's he been telling you about me." He complained. The Brunet smiled and Steve felt she was looking him over very quickly. "Not a whole lot, but most of it good" she said. "I'm Sandy."
"I'm Donna," said Eddy's bench mate. "Or Red. That's what most of my friends call me."
Steve sat down next to Sandy looked, at Donna in mock bewilderment and then at Sandy "What ever made you call her Red," he said winking at Sandy.
Sandy laughed and shrugged. "Don't know, must have been drunk."
Steve went back and got the girls beers and the four of them sat for an hour filling each other in on mundane details. Eddy and Donna were classmates At Hale. Sandy was Red's neighbor and was out of school. Sandy graduated from high school last year, was 19, and worked at Allis Chalmers in West Allis. She also had her own wheels. She was a fairly good-looking girl, Steve decided. A slightly round face; like some of his Polish Cousins, but pretty despite some heavy eye shadow that made her look tough. She was shorter than Steve was but not by much. She wore a white halter-top and white short shorts advertising her mature development and accenting an early spring tan, which she said she got vacationing in Florida. Some of her friends who were in college invited her along to Daytona Beach during their spring break
Finally both the girls excused themselves to go to the ladies room. As soon as they were out of ear shot, Eddy started. "We'll what do you think,"
"Nice," said Steve watching appreciatively as Sandy walked away.
"I told them about where you live, you know, and I think Sandy might give you a ride.
"I know, we talked about it."
Eddy grinned. "No grass growing under your feet is there."
"She suggested we all take off later; maybe take in a drive in. She has to leave for a while though. Her Dad's over at Saint Francis. Some kind of minor surgery I guess. She needs to stop in. and then have supper with her mother. They'll be back if we want."
The girls came back later and sat down. "How about it then," Sandy asked. You guys want to do something later?"
Steve and Eddy both nodded. "Sure, sounds good." Said Steve. "We'll grab a couple or bratz here and see you later."
Sandy squeezed his leg and leaned close. Make sure you don't take off." She ordered.
Steve swallowed hard. Her action sent a tingle through his body. He felt momentary paralyzed but managed to sound nonchalant as if this kind of thing happened to him all the time. "We won't go anywhere till you guys get back, " he finally managed.
As soon as they were gone Eddy punched Steve playfully on the arm. "There hot for us man. We go us some hot stuff:"
Steve finished his Bratzwertz and washed it down with a swallow of beer. His cousin had wandered off somewhere, but Steve knew he would be back. Eddy knew everybody. He must have told the story of the hot chicks that were coming back for them a dozen times. At first Steve welcomed the envious looks but after a while the locker room banter was taking the shine off of the idea. Sure Sandy acted as if she wanted to get heavy tonight but...but what? That feeling he had earlier that he was not in control of his destiny came back into his thought. We'll, did he like Sandy or not? Did he want to go to a drive in and make out or not? Why did he have to be so analytical about everything. He entertained a wish that he would be more like Eddy who took life raw and naked and enjoyed every minute of it.
He stood and pivoted slowly looking for his cousin. He finally spotted him near the Ferris wheel talking to two girls. That's my cousin he thought with a smirk. He walked toward them unnoticed. The girls looked a lot younger than Sandy and Donna; maybe 15 or 16 years old he guessed. One had on a pair of Jean shorts and halter-top. Her girl friend wore a sleeveless sundress that was gathered slightly at the waist causing neat little pleats to drop just below her knees.
He walked up with a serious face and looked at the girl in the dress. "Is this young man bothering you girls." He said soberly. She saw through his act and started to laugh. It was, Steve thought, the most delightful laugh he had ever heard.
"This is my cousin, Steve," Eddy announced.
"He is not, " the girl in the sundress protested.
"Yes he is," Eddy insisted. I wouldn't admit that if it wasn't true."
Eddy introduced the girls to Steve. The girl in the shorts was Chris, and the blond was Jenny. Steve looked straight into Jenny's blue eyes and smiled. He felt genuine warmth as if they had gently kissed hello. She smiled back...no it was more than a smile, he felt that her whole face glowed with an innocent display of affection. He shut down every thought and let his mind absorb the sound of her name, mentally rolling it across his tongue. Jenny... He liked that. If God had a name that was worthy of an angel it had to be Jenny. He wanted to take her hand if only to be able to touch her. He felt suddenly self-conscious.
"I really am his cousin," he said in his best conspiratorial tone, "but don't tell any one else." His eyes took in both girls, a little embarrassed at his instant attraction to Jenny. Chris and Jenny both laughed but Steve only heard Jenny. It wasn't just a laugh, he decided, but more the sound of a pleasant melody that would forever hum in his memory.
Chris took a step toward Steve. "Can I have a sip," she pleaded reaching out for his beer. Before she reached him, Jenny stepped between them and gently guided his hand that held the beer out of Chris's reach.
"No don't let her have any," she said.
Steve took the cue and kept the beer from Chris. "Sorry, Jenny, says no."
He felt suddenly virtuous obeying Jenny's request. He looked at Chris only for a second and then to Jenny eager to see her reaction at his compliance with her request. She smiled at him warmly, and Chris backed off with a mock pout. Steve felt as if he would have done whatever Jenny asked. Every thing and everyone else around him suddenly became surreal. The smell of bratzwertz cooking on the open grills, the loud conversations, the barking of the carnival pitchmen, even the shrill screams of the young girls as the Ferris Wheel rotated next to where they stood, all of this ceased to exist the minute he laid eyes on Jenny.
He tried to make sure he was remembering the details that began to emerge from the next few minutes of conversation. Eddie didn't know Chris, but he knew Jenny. Jenny had attended grade school here and was now a sophomore at Pulaski. Chris was going to Holy Angels, which was an all girls' school. All the time they were talking he tried to figure out how he could be alone with Jenny. He wanted to know about her and not anyone else. They talked and joked for the next half-hour. Eddy kept trying to edge away, looking around as if trying to located someone in the crowd. Even as oblivious as Steve was to anything or anyone except Jenny, he could sense that Eddy was not planning to get stuck with Chris, but was eager to have Donna and Sandy return. He had to talk to his cousin. He had to tell him he changed his mind about the date with the girls. About the time he was ready to suggest they go get another Beer a couple of Eddy's friends walked up and joined the conversation.
It was getting too crowded. Steve stood close to Jenny. The other guys didn't seem to pay much attention to her, but began joking around with Chris. Good they thought Jenny belonged to him; just the effect he was looking for standing next to her. They all began to wander aimlessly around the grounds as a group. Steve and Jenny lagged behind slightly. He stopped suddenly and put his hand on Jenny's shoulder. "You want to go on the Ferris wheel?" he said softly making it sound like it was their secret. She didn't say any thing but nodded her head with playful gleam in her eye. The others were several steps ahead and too busy trying to impress Chris to notice their exit from the group.
After they strapped in the operator rocked their car and pulled the lever sending it one level higher. Jenny let out a little squeal and closed her eyes as she hung on to the bar. "You're not scared, are you?" asked Steve.
Jenny grimaced through a sheepish smile. "A little,' she admitted. "I've never been on one before, I don't like being up high."
Steve put his arm around her. "I won't let you fall,' He promised. "You'll love it, trust me."
She did trust him, he thought. She agreed to go on this ride even though she was afraid of it She snuggled into him like he was her very own security blanket. The car rose one level at a time as the operator continued loading the riders. Soon they were sitting at the very top. As the last passengers were strapped in, Jenny had her eyes closed and her head buried tightly against him. Steve looked out over the surrounding countryside. The sun was beginning to decline in the late afternoon sky. His eyes focused on a spot of white in the other wise cloudless sky. At first he thought it was a small puff of cloud, but as his eyes adjusted to it he could see it was a white pigeon being gently lifted skyward on light updraft of air. With each graceful circle above the Ferris wheel the bird was drawn higher. It neither fought what was happening nor forced its way upward. With innocent trust it surrendered to the wind and rode it to heights it may have never before experienced.
"Jenny, look at the bird up there.," he urged.
Jenny raised her head slowly. To Steve she looked like a butterfly slowly emerging from her cocoon, getting her first glimpse of the world. He was pointing at the sky and Jenny followed his direction until she too saw the graceful swooping ascension of the bird. For a moment it seemed as if the whole world consisted of him and Jenny and that bird. Then the Ferris Wheel jerked suddenly and sent their car spinning backward. Jenny let out a very loud scream this time and returned to her cocoon. Steve laughed and held her tightly to him as the cars raced toward the ground and then climbed swiftly to the top to start the cycle all over. After a few revolutions Jenny relaxed raised her head from its sanctuary and opened her eyes. Eventually they stopped on the top as the operator began to let the passengers off. Steve looked out again at the horizon.
"The bird's gone now," he said.
Jenny didn't bother to look. "Maybe he's just to far up for us to see anymore. Maybe he rose all the way to heaven." She looked at Steve and smiled. He smiled back not be able to think of anything to add to her observation.
"Hey there's Eddy she said pointing out into the distance.
Steve followed her gaze. It was Eddy, and he was with Sandy and Donna. They were all making slow radar sweeps of the grounds...looking for him. He looked at Jenny to get her attention. He must have looked sober because her smile disappeared instantly.
"What' wrong."
He decided to tell her the truth. "Listen Jenny, I need you do me a big favor."
"Sure...what?" She still looked concerned. He realized he was being too cryptic. The car swung down one notch.
"See those girls with Eddy? I kind of gave them the impression earlier that we might go to a Drive- In or something. I really don't want too now. Could we like... could we sneak away so they don't see me?"
"Sure," Jenny agreed and then paused as the car went down another notch. "But won't Eddy be kind of mad at you," she said as the car settled.
Steve shrugged and then was sorry he had acted so nonchalant about deserting his cousin. " I'll explain it to him tomorrow. Eddy won't care when I tell him why," he said. She sat silently and Steve was sure she was waiting for him to explain the why. He did not say anything for a moment, wondering if he was being presumptuous.
"I would rather spend the day with you," he finally said.
CENTER>*****
When the car settled on the disembarking platform Steve and Jenny exited to the far side of Eddy, and the girls. They slipped way towards the open meadow in back of the game booths. Steve took her hand and they trotted across the field. She kept pace with him giggling as they conspired together. He had not felt so alive, and so right about anything as he did right at this moment. He was smiling as they slowed to walk. He let lose of her hand and reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes pulled them half way out and them put them back. Somehow lighting up seemed wrong, as if it would pollute the purity of this moment. He reached out again for Jenny's hand and took it gently in his own. She looked at him and smiled.
"Do you have any gum," she asked. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled Wrigley pack with one last piece of gum in it. He handed it to her, crumbling the empty pack and stuffing it into his pocket. Jenny broke the stick and handed him half of it. He knew it was his piece of gum but he felt as if she had given him a special gift. He tried to glance at her as they walked, without staring. She was petite, no more than five two with a slim girlish build.. Her blond hair was cut in a short ducktail. The thought crossed his mind that he always liked girls that had long dark hair and had thought the DA haircut was not feminine. He changed his mind a millisecond after he looked into Jenny's blue eyes when Eddy introduced them.
They strolled along the road to where it circled the back of the church. The sun was a bright orange ball now spilling its last soft rays across the rear steps. The sound of the carnival had become less intrusive. He realized his wish had finally come true; he was virtually alone with Jenny. He wanted so much for her to like him. They found a place to sit on the steps and didn't notice as the sun dropped out of sight and the evening twilight became brief prelude to a star filled night. Steve felt comfortable as they exchanged information about their brothers and sisters and talked about school. Then it was quite for a long time.
"Are you getting chilly," Steve finally said.
"No, it's nice out tonight," A long pause and then, "Maybe a little"
He put his arm around her. "There is that better?"
Jenny nodded but didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and let it out deliberately pretending to be studying the sky. He pointed to the brightest star. "That's Venus," he said.
Jenny raised her head and joined him in his search of the heavens just as she had watched the bird with him earlier. Steve turned to her. Her head was tilted slightly toward the star filled sky. He leaned over and she turned her head to him just in time for their lips to meet in a soft kiss. Jenny leaned into the kiss and put her hand behind his head. That first taste of her lips sent a quiver through his body. He never wanted that kiss to end. They pulled away slowly and looked at each other.
"I really like you Jenny," he whispered. He realized there was a slight tremor in his voice..
"I like you too," she responded.
It was quiet then and the faint sound of music tiptoed its way from the lower level of the church.. Jenny turned to him. "Would you like to check out the dance."
"Sure, if you want to." They didn't move for a minute .
He took her by the hand. "Let's check it out." Even in the dark heI could see her eyes light up. She was a dancer he decided. He had gone to a couple of dances at school, but never with a date. The boys sort of lined up on one side of the gym and watched the girls dance with each other. His worst nightmare was the time Tom and the other guys talked him into asking Chris Zanders to dance. They knew he had a thing for her and goaded him until he actually asked her. He remembered being shocked when Chris accepted and took his hand. They were playing a Bill Haley tune...Rock Around the Clock, or one of those Apple Jack dances, so it wasn't too bad. They just bopped around the floor not saying anything and barely looking at each other.
Then before the echo of the last note had time to drift across the room the tempo slowed and the first bars of SECRET LOVE came peeling out of a trumpet. There wasn't even a moment to say thank you for the dance. Before he knew it he was holding Chris and slow dancing...only he didn't know to waltz, or fox trot or whatever it is that they do. He began to realize he was sweating, and not just from the rock dance. He was aware that Chris was slightly taller than him;. not much, maybe a half inch. Now she had on these high heel shoes that made her look like the center on the girls basketball team. He tried to move around in kind of a box step. He couldn't look at her and he couldn't speak. When he turned he could see her girl friends giggling as they watched. Chris was stiff and when he did look at her face she turned it to the side. After what seemed like an eternity, the music stopped. Chris thanked him and went back to her friends. Then they all walked away giggling uncontrollably.
Now here he was with Jenny. He held her hand they entered the auditorium. The disc jockey was spinning popular 45's, and he could tell Jenny was where she wanted to be. They walked unto the dance floor as if they had done it together a thousand times. They stood close and swayed slowly with the melody He put his lips close to her ear. "I really do like you," he said.
Jenny was silent for a moment and then said, "Me too...I mean I like you too not I like me too." They both laughed. They danced in silence until the music stopped.
"Okay, all you lovers out there," shouted the disk jockey. Grab your favorite partner, 'cause the old clock on the wall says it's time to go."
It took a couple seconds for him to put the needle to the disk, and the familiar sound of THE PLATTER'S reverberated across the hall..."only you, and you alone"...Jenny's let out an appreciative sigh.
"Oh I love that song," she whispered as if it were a secret.
"I do too," Steve said sincerely. They danced without speaking, but Jenny softly sang along with the record.. Steve knew all the words to ONLY YOU, but now it was as if he was hearing them for the first time. "Only you, and you alone, can make my life complete" Was she singing to him? Did their meeting today mean as much to her as it did to him ? He was dizzy thinking about it.
The song ended and the soft intimate atmosphere shattered as the lights were turned up. Jenny spoke first. "Will I see you again?"
Steve answered quickly. "Yes... can I have your phone number."
Jenny went into action as if she had heard the starting gun at a track meet. She went straight to the reception desk and asked for a pencil. She took a piece of scrap paper from the table and wrote her number. Steve put it safely in the folds of his wallet. "Come on," he urged, "I'll walk you home."
CENTER>*****
Jenny lived a couple of miles from the church in a somewhat rural setting, unspoiled by city curbs and sidewalks. They walked down her block and she showed him where she lived. Then they returned to the corner and waited for the bus. The streets were dark and Steve could see the headlights of the bus as it crept slowly toward them. He kissed Jenny one more time. "I'll call you tomorrow he promised " He waved to her as the bus pulled away and watched out the window as she trotted up the block to her house.
The lights on the bus were turned out and would remain out until they got closer to the city. Steve sat back in the seat and closed his eyes. He was smiling. He was happy. No it was more than happy it was...he remembered part of a poem from English class that somehow stuck with him.
The Lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn:
God's in his heaven-
All's right with the world.
Then another poetic sound filled his head. It had only one word.
Jenny.