ave you ever wondered how different you are from the next person? I have many times, but you start to compare even more when one moment you live in one country, and the next you live in another.

I just moved to the United States from my native country, India. I’ve been here twice before and each time I’ve learnt more about the differences in the two cultures. I’ve learned that the Americans saying “How ya doin’” isn’t the same as the Indians shouting “sidaaa side”. I’ve learned that the Indian’s idea of luxury is getting enough water to wash the dishes by hand while an American’s is having a dishwasher that doesn’t break down even once in the year.

Adjusting to a totally different place isn’t quite as easy as it seemed. I used to be slightly more confident of driving in India. But here it’s a different story even though everyone follows the rules. I think it must be something to do with the fact that having a battered car in India is almost a fashion trend there. Or maybe its because you’re driving so slow that a jogger can get to the destination faster than you can. Here I’m in constant fear that if I don’t reach the sound barrier speed I’ll end up in heaven faster than you can say ... whatever. Anyway, on the plus side this means that you don’t have to take a taxi in the sky every time you want to get out of your neighborhood. In India you don’t get to take a taxi in the sky, period.

The other day I noticed a cute dog trotting along with his master. It was wearing a bonnet or something that looked like one. How sweet that his owner wanted to protect the dog’s eyes. I just hope the guy’s kid is as privileged. I don’t think so because I definitely saw a little boy tagging along behind in nothing but shorts and looking considerably red in the face. I remember I once had a dog back in India. He slept on the verandah come rain or sun and the only thing he wore was a collar. The dog food here consists of everything from steak to vitamin infested rice teriyaki. My dog got rice and beef every single meal. And that was because he was a big dog. A small one would have got rice. I think that’s why in India you see stray dogs on every street. They run away from their owners to escape abuse. It must be so much more comfortable living in the gutter.

Whenever my husband and I go shopping at this wholesale store we constantly find our shopping cart looking very empty while we stand in line at the cashier’s. I sincerely hope that the people around us don’t think our cart is empty because we can’t afford anything in the store. Our largest item is a pack of toilet paper and we round the cart off with a box of oatmeal and a box of salt (which will last us the rest of the year). The lady behind us has a 12 pack of bottled water (the tap water here is really contaminated - you see they might catch some deadly disease), 4 packs of Oreo cookies, 5 family size packets of chips, 3 cans of peanut butter, and lots more. I can go on but I had to stop ogling for fear of being caught staring. The same can be said about eating. Americans eat a lot. While I struggle to finish a meal at a restaurant, a man sitting right next to our table has polished off the same meal and has ordered a hamburger with fries. When he’s done with that he asks for something for takeaway.

On the subject of staring, Americans don’t look at other people unless it’s directly into their eyes or while talking to each other. That’s because staring is a serious offence. In India it’s no big deal. A man will stare at you even if you obviously look uncomfortable with the attention. The only way to make him stop is by disappearing into the woodwork. Any foreigner of the female sex visiting the country will instantly think the man is being lecherous.

Then there’s that wonderful piece of plastic called a credit card. I used to enjoy it a bit in India till one day the government tells me they would be charging a five percent tax on all items I charge to my card. From that moment it just became a piece of plastic. Of course, even before this took place most people never dreamed of spending more than half of what their bank balance was. A credit card was used just because he or she was too lazy to go to an ATM to draw cash. Here in the U.S.A. the norm is charge everything to your credit card and never check if the amount goes over your bank balance. You’ll find a way to pay it off sooner or later. Now I know why these people seem to be really rich. They must all be praying very hard that they die before the bank finds out they can’t pay it all back.

I used to wonder why Indians are so narrow-minded when it comes to choice of career. Every Tom, Dick and Harry is either a doctor or an engineer. It is assumed that the ones that are not weren’t smart enough in school and didn’t get good enough scores in the admissions tests. But I suppose we make up for it by at least knowing a little bit about the outside world. Americans have all kinds of careers but ask them a question about another country and they’ll make you think they are retarded. They’ll say something like “The country that borders China is Somalia” or “he’s wearing a turban so he must be Afghani”. Their math skills aren’t impressive either. The other day on a game show someone was asked “What is half of 62”. He said “34”. Was she trying to lose?

I’ve also encountered a few other nationalities as well and the differences are glaring again. On the way here I once stopped at Frankfurt where airport officials will not open their mouths to tell you something. They kept their lips sewn together while making loud noises and gesturing wildly with their hands. It took me a few seconds to realize I was being herded through the security gate. In contrast most Americans are quite polite and friendly. Words like “hi”, “please”, “thank you” and “have a good day” are very common in most cities. Of course there are a few American cities where someone might just bite your head off if you try to make conversation or ask for help.