icture this: you are swapping jokes with your buddies in the college cafeteria. Valentine’s is in the air, and there is more than the usual number of pretty girls around for you all to look at. The cafeteria doors swing open and an insanely attractive girl walks in. She is accompanied by a group of her friends, both girls and guys in the mix. You’ve been in college for a year, yet you’ve never seen her around; you would have remembered if you had.

You look over and see that your friends are as stunned as you are. The sound of laughter draws your attention to her again. It is enchanting, the most delightful laughter you have ever heard in your life. She looks up in response to a call from someone behind you and smiles brilliantly at him or her. She walks gracefully over towards you.

She is ten seconds away at most. Through a trick of positioning, she will almost certainly have to stop and ask you to move before she can get to where she’s going. It is going to be your one, and perhaps your only opportunity to make a good impression. You’re not aiming for a date at this point, or even a conversation. A mere nod will do for now; a smile would be a bonus. Eye contact is paramount.

Almost imperceptibly, your body kicks into gear. Your brain transmits frantic signals to your heart, asking it to speed up, and pump blood faster through your veins. The resulting heat energy tenses your muscles, getting them ready for action. Every single one of your senses suddenly becomes a lot sharper. You see every gesture as if in slow motion. Every sound, the swish of her dress, the tinkling of her bangles is amplified. You can smell the perfume she’s wearing. She is almost here.

Your entire being is completely tuned in to her presence. Your mind races with a thousand brilliant things to say to her. Your mouth starts to rearrange itself into a dazzling smile.

She walks up to you and stops. She looks down expectantly for a moment. You are completely aware of her presence, but do not acknowledge it, waiting for her to say something. She excuses herself. You look up slowly. She apologizes for interrupting, and asks if she could trouble you to move just a little so that she can pass.

This is it! You’ve never felt so alive in your entire life. You are ready for this. Prepare to be dazzled, fair maiden! You’ve got a clever thing to say all picked out. With every molecule in your body working at peak efficiency, you open your mouth to utter the words that will affect the way she looks at you for the rest of your life.

There is a moment of silence. Then another. And then another. She stands there, still smiling politely, but now raising her eyebrows slightly. You close your mouth, and start to move your chair. You get up, intending to shift your chair and sit down again. You become unbalanced and sit down too soon. The chair bangs against the floor with a loud clang, and makes a horrible screeching noise as you drag it out of the way. Not a single jaw in the cafeteria fails to clench in response to the noise.